Suggestions on managing a two child home

Ludy84 · June 2014

I am super nervous ... No one I see with two kids or more posts the stressful stuff on fb and a friend I have who delivered in may is painfully honest about the horrors and exhaustion ... Not making me too excited more scared as I do basically everything in my home, any ideas how to prepare hubby and family and myself to run new four person household and doggy ...thanks !!!!

Mrs_Bennett · June 2014

Having two kids is not a horror show, I promise! For me, the transition to two was easier than our transition to one child. I already knew how to care for my toddler, and I was prepared for the reality of having an infant. Sure, it's more work sometimes, but it's not terrible. And now, seeing them growing up together as best friends--there isn't a single thing in the world that I would change!

GirlWithAnchors · June 2014

I'm scared too! We're going from 2 to 3 but hubby reassures me that our twins weren't too hard so one little baby won't hurt. Umm hello it's one baby plus two little toddlers! Ahhhhh

hamlett17 · June 2014

No advice but I'm in the same boat. Feeling overwhelmed about the coming changes. I just keep reminding myself to take it one day at a time.

nah82 · June 2014

The worst part is they never nap at the same time so your afternoon nap time will disappear. But, once baby is sitting up you can double up at bath time instead of having to give 2 baths, and they will entertain each other when the littlest gets big enough to play. Unfortunately, then they can also make twice the mess together. In some respects, having two makes some things easier (my youngest is more interested in potty training because he sees big brother using the potty and wearing big boy underwear, and will follow big brother's example when he is helping me do chores like picking up toys and putting away clean laundry. Big brother loved to help feed little brother his baby food while I was in the kitchen getting lunch or dinner ready.)

PrincessMRC · June 2014

It's definitely not a horror show. The best thing I did was involve my older kids in the care of the baby. Getting a diaper when it's changing time, bringing mommy water when you're nursing (if you do), etc. It makes them feel like part of the new change and then they're less likely to demand more of your attention. That's when it got difficult, was when the baby AND toddler needed my attention at the same time. I figured out how to nurse and cuddle at the same time pretty quickly. lol

Lanatir · June 2014

I think it will actually depend on how your current LO is like. I saw mention of nap time changing, but DD never napped and still doesn't nap (I had her on a playground yesterday with 30 other kids for 4 hours-- a friend invited me to their home school co-op end of the year thing). I thought I MIGHT get a nap out of that. I thought wrong...

All the moms in the co-op were telling me their older kids want to do everything for the younger kids... I hope those of us on #2+ can only be so lucky... haha.

Everything I see says it is important to still try to find time to fit in one-on-one time with your older child(ren), so that will be interesting...

MoreThanSparrows08 · June 2014

I agree with PPs - two children is most certainly not a horror show! Yes, it can be very difficult and stressful at times, but it's so worth it. All those loves and snuggles and sweet things your oldest does that make your heart melt - you get twice that now! Involving your oldest in the care of the newborn is very helpful. The hardest part for me was when my oldest needed something but I was stuck on the couch nursing. I had a hard time explaining to him that I'd get him what he needed when I was done feeding his brother. I made sure that when I was done nursing, I got him whatever he needed, and made sure he knew how much I appreciated him waiting patiently (when he did). Also, I made it a point that if I wasn't busy nursing, I got whatever he needed quickly, so he knew that I was still his mommy, too.

My boys are older now, but I noticed from the get go that I always did a second take - thought really hard about whether or not I NEEDED to go to this store or that place, etc. I've actually saved a bit of money by doing that.

When they're a little bit older, they will play together and it will be amazing to watch (and to have some time to yourself!).

drpayne · June 2014

Mrs_Bennett said:

Having two kids is not a horror show, I promise! For me, the transition to two was easier than our transition to one child. I already knew how to care for my toddler, and I was prepared for the reality of having an infant. Sure, it's more work sometimes, but it's not terrible. And now, seeing them growing up together as best friends--there isn't a single thing in the world that I would change!

Same here. I also work full time. I don't sit down much

BUT when I watch my boys play together I wonder what the hell I'd do with just one. They truly entertain each other and that's a blessing. It makes it possible to get stuff done. Now, we went out to dinner on father's day and they were so awful I almost cried. My 16 month old threw a piece of macaroni and hit a little old man on the leg... and I had the realization that once we have 3 we may not go out as much. It was just one of those days. We enjoy them enough to be adding a 3rd, so...

You really need to tell yourself you aren't a pioneer here. You're not the first person to have 2 kids. People manage WAY larger families. There are plenty of single moms out there. It's doable. Of course it's okay to be nervous about the transition but try to keep it in perspective

drpayne · June 2014

namcgee said:

The worst part is they never nap at the same time so your afternoon nap time will disappear. But, once baby is sitting up you can double up at bath time instead of having to give 2 baths, and they will entertain each other when the littlest gets big enough to play. Unfortunately, then they can also make twice the mess together. In some respects, having two makes some things easier (my youngest is more interested in potty training because he sees big brother using the potty and wearing big boy underwear, and will follow big brother's example when he is helping me do chores like picking up toys and putting away clean laundry. Big brother loved to help feed little brother his baby food while I was in the kitchen getting lunch or dinner ready.)

See, I know I'm lucky but mine do nap at the same time from ~1-4 so I do get a break. Granted, it wasn't like that at first but it saves me now.

atrinh11 · June 2014

Reading these responses were helpful. I am also pretty terrified about adding a second child. I know we will manage, I think it is just the unknown of how that will happen that is a bit scary.

Luckily, my toddler is a great kid. He is super easy as far as toddlers go, and he is a great sleeper and napper, so I am very thankful for that.

jennkg3 · June 2014

Everyone has given you great advise. It's not horrible there are good moments and bad moments. Sometimes you just need to breath and know when your kids act up they need something and I find taking the time to figure that out and NOT GETTING OVER EMOTIONAL is the key. Just breath. I'm very nervous about 3. Just breath

LuckyPenny1231 · June 2014

I'm just sticking my head in the sand about it right now, honestly.

We will have to get through it one way or another, no sense stressing over it right now. I don't know if the new baby will have colic or be a chill baby. I don't know how DD will react to having a new baby around. Too many unknowns. So I just ignore it.

AUmom2009 · June 2014

I absolutely adore having two and I agree that it is not nearly as bad as your friend has made it seem! There are definite challenges and transitions that take some work, but I felt so much more confident bringing home baby #2.

AggieMom0809 · June 2014

It can be exhausting, but can be done! What worked for us was having a schedule, but at the same time being flexible. It also helped us having a playgroup so I could have some time to just sit. My oldest was only 18m when my youngest was born. She was just independent enough to try to play with others, but still needed some guidance on sharing. My son needed a lot of attention, had silent acid reflux so he was constantly fussy.

They are now 6y and 4.5y and all of us survived and are doing well.

Take it one day at a time and don't be afraid to ask for help. Everyone needs some sometime.

lana22 · June 2014

I was so scared but it went way better than expected. Don't overthink it and worry now. It's just a waste of time. Mine are 16 months apart. Older one loved being a helper; let him get you wipes, throw things away, "read" to the baby, covering w/ blanket, etc. When nursing I kept a pile of books next to me on the couch and had him sit next to me and he loved it. Lots of people keep a set of toys just for when they're nursing and put them away (hidden) otherwise, but I never tried that.

Agree w/ getting out of the house. Go for walks. Playground. Library. Just keep baby in wrap or stroller. Most of the time the little guy was napping anyway.

We read I'm a Big Brother Now to him ahead of time but I don't think that really did much. I'm sure I'll think of more stuff, but it feels like so long ago. I will say around 7-8 months the baby stopped sleeping as well in stroller and I felt a lot more housebound. Invited people over a lot! I would still make sure to get out after his morning nap, even if only for 45 min or an hour.

amandad715 · June 2014

It's all manageable but the best advice is change your expectations. Like instead of being able to get 5 things done in a day, feel accomplished if you get one done. That was the hardest for me to learn.

jneden · June 2014

Following...I'm a little nervous about this as well. Especially how to keep the older one entertained during nursing! My daughter used to nurse for 45 min sometimes that seems like a long time to keep a toddler entertained!

AggieMom0809 · June 2014

I nursed while walking around a lot. I became an expert at the football hold. lol Granted, both of my kids nursed for about 5 mins at a time so it wasn't as difficult.

texasmama786 · June 2014

Girl don't be nervous, you'll do fine! My hardest part was making sure I made my older one feel special when the new baby came since breast feeding and newborn care took up most of my time. Turn the older sibling into your helper. We created a special badge for him to wear with construction paper lol. It also taught me to be less controlling since now I accept the fact I can't do it all (maintaining a clean house, tackle all the laundry, work, etc.) and focus on the more important things (the kids are fed, bathed, loved) you will be tired at first but you will adapt and then you won't remember how your life was before all the choatic excitement lol.

Want a personalized experience?

Suggestions on managing a two child home

Re: Suggestions on managing a two child home

Choose Another Board

Search Boards