PR--Toddler yelling--WWYD?

Whenigrowup · June 2014

So, DD is 3. Lately, her go to reaction when she doesn't get what she wants to is yell at me or DH, but more often me, ("No, Mommy! I don't want to!" or "Leave me alone!") She has gotten very sassy and bossy, which I know is completely typical for the age. I'm just wondering what you guys do for that kind of behavior. So far, I've been explaining that it isn't nice to yell, giving a warning, and then time-out when she does it again. It stops it at the time, but it doesn't seem like it is having an effect on the frequency that she does it (like 3-5 times a day). Is this just a be consistent, it will eventually get better thing, or should I try a different approach?

Whenigrowup · June 2014

And now that I post it, I realize 3 is not technically a toddler, but whatever. You know what I mean.

TheRunningGinger · June 2014

I've entered this phase with my 3 year old as well. So far I've just been doing what you are as far as a warning and then time out. It works in the moment but an hour later the attitude is back. I have no advice since I've just entered this phase. Hopefully other people have some good tips for how to handle it!

acesup · June 2014

Ahhh the lovely age of 3. The day after DD turned 3 she threw her first tantrum and I looked at DH and said "who the hell is this kid and where is my sweet daughter?!". Lol. She does the same thing. I tell her not to speak that way. If it continues I usually take something away or put her in time out. That usually ends it but sometimes she carries on so I just ignore her and tell her I will talk to her when she is ready to be nice. Eventually she apologizes. It's definitely just a "be consistent" thing. I've heard it gets better at age 5 or 6.... LOL

Whenigrowup · June 2014

lisajay09 said:

I use the term toddler for under 4. Oops.

Stuck in box.

I do, too. I just don't always say it to other people.

angelashly · June 2014

We are handling this phase the same way as you right now.

I also drink a lot!

fintin · June 2014

My son had this problem later on (like 4) and I would remind him that yelling at people is unacceptable (my son knew what this meant from age 2 1/2) and until he could talk to me nicely that I wasn't going to listen to him. He stopped because he got tried of having to repeat himself until I deamed his tone acceptable.

Pips09 · June 2014

We pretty much do the same thing you do. We make her repeat it in a nice voice/way of speaking, and if it continues, then warnings, leading to a timeout.

dashofreality · June 2014

Oh yes, isn't this a lovely age. My DD doesn't yell but she has the F you attitude. I go with 'the look' and usually an 'excuse me that is unacceptable, try again'. I also do my best to try and not yell at my kids (tough though).

Sad part is that the look and voice work on my dog, who gets upset when I give the voice to DD and will come over to apologize, but not DD.

seahorse102410 · June 2014

One of the books I read says you have to say things like, "DS I understand you would like to ... but we aren't able to do that right now." This is SOOOOOOO hard for me because I am also a hot head with a very bad temper. I have to control myself not to yell back. Timeout is a joke in my house.

ready-or-not · June 2014

dashofreality said:

Oh yes, isn't this a lovely age. My DD doesn't yell but she has the F you attitude. I go with 'the look' and usually an 'excuse me that is unacceptable, try again'. I also do my best to try and not yell at my kids (tough though).

Sad part is that the look and voice work on my dog, who gets upset when I give the voice to DD and will come over to apologize, but not DD.

I do this, & all of the above really. The "look" & "what did you say to me?" & "I'm not sure who you think you are but it is not ok to speak to me or anyone else like that" combo are my standard go to 1st response, followed with time outs & ignoring them until they can speak nicely & all that....Wash/rinse/repeat for the next 5-15 years & it should get a little better
:P

chevronseven · June 2014

There's a girl in my preschool class who does this. Her endgame is clearly attention, so I calmly explain how it is and then I ignore it until she calms down and starts talking more respectfully. We also often use the phrases "Yelling and crying will never work. That does not get you what you want."

klondikebar · June 2014

I'd respond with something short like, "I won't listen when you yell," and then completely ignore until she talks nice and calmly. I wouldn't do warnings and timeouts as it is just giving her more attention.

You can have a discussion when she isn't yelling about the importance of using a calm voice, asking nicely, not being bossy etc, but I wouldn't go into a lengthy response during the act.

umma4babes · June 2014

KlondikeBar said:
I'd respond with something short like, "I won't listen when you yell," and then completely ignore until she talks nice and calmly. I wouldn't do warnings and timeouts as it is just giving her more attention.

You can have a discussion when she isn't yelling about the importance of using a calm voice, asking nicely, not being bossy etc, but I wouldn't go into a lengthy response during the act.

This is what we are doing now. I was upset and shocked when my 3.5 DS yelled really loudly the first few times, but now I give no reaction at all and ignore him until he calms down. Then i talk about how yelling is not acceptable etc. I reserve warnings and timeouts for more "elevated" situations because God, it's sometimes a battlefield in our house.

Want a personalized experience?

PR--Toddler yelling--WWYD?

Re: PR--Toddler yelling--WWYD?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards