The Future of SAIF

TJ1979 · June 2014

TB is talking about combining SAIF and PAIF. I gave my opinion, then thought this is really something you guys should get a say on.
If it changes your vote at all, they are open to adding a One and Done, Not by Choice board.
Please let me know your thoughts. Thanks!

TJ1979 · June 2014

They are saying they seem to be the same thing, and we can combine and move them both under parenting.

kmc84 · June 2014

Noooo! So not the same thing! Please bump gods don't do it!

I loved PAIF when I was pregnant and I love SAIF now that I have my DD.

I think that many ladies on PAIF might be unsettled being surrounded by babies when their own have yet to arrive safely.

PurpleIris30 · June 2014

They used to be the same, but were split because pregnancy does not equal "success" in the form of a take home baby, and pregnant ladies didnt feel comfortable posting. I don't have an opinion either way. SAIF has really changed in the last couple of years, and I don't post much because it's so TTC-centric rather than parenting-centric.

Mrs.McIrish · June 2014

I'm lurking from PAIF. I don't see how anyone thinks that pregnancy and raising a baby are the same. It took me almost 4 years to get to PAIF. I know nothing about pregnancy at this point. Reading SAIFers posts about baby issues is not what I need to hear while Im praying my babies stay alive long enough to be be born. The issues are completely different. When you transition for fertilty treatments to pregnancy, it's a scary time. I'm worried about different things than what a new mother worries about. I think it would be a cluster-F to join the boards... I lurk here sometimes to check up on old friends but I don't want to regularly read about what to feed a baby when I'm testing to see if my babies are growing ok in utero....

imoverit · June 2014

I sent an email about how SAIF should be under parenting and not pregnancy and gave an explanation of why it is differ than PAIF. They should absolutely NOT combine them IMO.

fullfhope · June 2014

SAIF ladies do talk about TTC again, that is true, but we also talk about our LOs. I would not feel comfortable (nor would I feel welcome necessarily) posting about TTC #2 on the other TTC boards (like TTTC, IF, or IFV) due to my issues with IF, but also due to my success. It is the lassies here who share in the success after IF specifically that make me feel comfortable addressing both my TTC again struggle AND my LOs successes. Make sense or am I rambling?

ETA:

I meant to write ladies but lassies is a funny error and I'm just going to leave it

Ruthie04 · June 2014

Nooooooo! Please, please, please don't combine them!!

To piggyback off PPs who mentioned why it might be difficult for PAIFers to read SAIF parenting posts, I think the opposite can be true as well. IF is a safe place for women who haven't had a take home baby and many women on Secondary IF are experiencing IF for the first time. SAIF is a safe place for women experiencing the double whammy of primary and secondary infertility. I'd like to think we would be one of the lucky ones who would be able to have a pregnancy without medical intervention, but I need to be realistic and assume it won't be easy. I'd really rather not be reading tons of pregnancy posts during another battle with IF. I'd rather talk about parenting and my boys than be reminded of how much I want to be pregnant again and again.

ETA: I don't mean for this to sound like I hate all pregnancy related posts- of course I'm so happy for our board friends who get to experience pregnancy and new babies again! I just meant that PAIF has always seemed like a pretty active board and it seems like the pregnancy related posts would overwhelm the board, making the parenting and TTC again posts seem few and far between.

Robeano · June 2014

I think it would be a horrible idea to combine the two. I just re-introed on PAIF cuz I don't want to post all my pregnancy issues here. I want to post here about my sweet little girl, get opinions etc. And even if they do start a new OAD-NBC I would hope that SAIF could still be a place that all ladies would feel comfortable. I feel like a family with you guys. And knowing how hard it is to have women talk about being pregnant again I like that they are separate. I would hate for the Bump to combine the two, and have a mass migration cuz it's too hard for some ladies, that would be SUPER sad!!

mnj05 · June 2014

There are so many people on PAIF that post compared to here. Of course more are welcome here and we could grow, but I wouldn't feel like I "knew" people as well or feel comfortable posting. I intro'd over there while pregnant but hardly ever posted because it was just too much.

That all sounds bad but I don't have a better way of articulating it at the moment.

pinkmickey24 · June 2014

I think they should be kept separate. They have two different purposes and I agree with PP. I also have noticed that people don't agree on secondary IF. I learned it as those who don't struggle with IF the first time but they do the second time they try to conceive. Where others see it as you struggled for the first with IF and are struggling a second time for another. It's nice to know we can find the support here when trying for siblings without the confusion of figuring out where one belongs.

JBDamonM · June 2014

@ruthie04 - great points. Addme to the NOT a fan of this idea club.....I think it would be a disaster and for various reasons I think the PAIFers would take over. This who,e thing would make me really sad bc SAIF is the one board I feel I've made real connections/friends on

Dragonfly1226 · June 2014

Nooooooooo!!! The PAIF board was created right around the time I got pregnant with DS. We FOUGHT HARD for that board! After struggling through IF most ladies do not consider that they have had success as soon as they see a BFP or even halfway through their pregnancies. I personally did NOT feel comfortable posting on SAIF when I was pregnant simply because I was so emotionally scarred and I did feel like I had truly been successful until I had a baby inmy arms. It would be a damn shame for them to take that board away after everything we did to get it created. I would welcome all the PAIF ladies here with open arms, but they should not be forced over to a board called success until they feel ready to be here.

MoFree · June 2014

Please keep the two boards separate. I am thrilled for women with hard earned first or subsequentl pregnancies, but I do not want our board overtaken by posts about MS, prenatal testing and birth plans. It's really painful for me to read those posts. When there is a separate board I can avoid reading pregnancy related posts but if they were combined it would be like a daily slap in the face.

Roxie5739 · June 2014

I agree on everything stated above and cannot add more but I would like a OAD- NBC board. The reason I do not post her much is that we are OAD by IF and I cannot relate anywhere else on TB but I find it hard to read all the TTC#2 posts. I hope at least for that change

Mnerani · June 2014

mnj05 said:

There are so many people on PAIF that post compared to here. Of course more are welcome here and we could grow, but I wouldn't feel like I "knew" people as well or feel comfortable posting. I intro'd over there while pregnant but hardly ever posted because it was just too much. That all sounds bad but I don't have a better way of articulating it at the moment.

Same for me. I don't think it would benefit PAIFers or SAIFers to combine them. I think we'd lose people.

e74 · June 2014

Like everyone else has said and for many of the same reasons, I don't feel it would be a good idea to combine the boards.

kbeach82 · June 2014

I think combining the boards is a horrible idea. Just as pregnant women don't necessarily want to read posts about parenting, I'm not a fan of reading a ton of pregnancy related posts when I visit my "safe place." Yes, I am very fortunate to have 3 children, and I am always excited to read good news about our expectant SAIFers, but I also have mixed feelings and a lot of confusion regarding the future of our family and our frozen blast.

blueberries8 · June 2014

I think I am a perfect example of why combining the boards isn't a good idea. Many of you know my story. I was blessed with twins from my 2nd IVF but they were born too early to survive. This was absolutely not 'success after infertility' though I was pregnant for a while and definitely belonged on PAIF during that time. I guess the question is how do you define 'success after infertilty' - getting pregnant, completing the 1st trimester, bringing home a living baby? I think it is safe to say that for most of us bringing home a living child is the end point for 'success.'

CarrieB. · June 2014

If the Bump has enough room for a One Direction board, I think they have room for PAIF and SAIF...

Mrs.AmyDylan · June 2014

Queue some Offspring "keep 'em separated".

I found PAIF to be an awesome landing pad when I was pregnant. I would have been overwhelmed with the parenting chatter on SAIF. I think for the tone of the board would change. I would be more reluctant to post funny toddler moments in case someone posted about a loss right after. Our parenting moments are very trivial compared to some of the stuff the ladies on PAIF are going through.

Besides, I love you guys!! And I want to stomp, clap, cheer and pass out creep internet hugs when we get a new PAIF grad to cross over!

Both boards are pretty busy, why the push to shove them together?

efhoping2010 · June 2014

I think those that are fortunate enough to make it to PAIF are still very shell shocked from IF and need a please to cautiously be excited without too much talk of the future. The boards need to be kept separate.

TJ1979 · June 2014

Ladies - thank you all for your input! I am going to close this poll and put up a separate post to discuss the outcomes.

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