UO

cagoldi · June 2014

I was up for the day at 3:30 and I can't make any promises about how nice I will be this morning.

So, only a toothless hick says needs done, ain't gone none, and crick.

beccaxbooxbear · June 2014

I don't know how unpopular this is but I find it disgusting when a guy has a big bushy beard on his face. I saw a guy yesterday who had one and it looked like curly pubes on his face! How do you kiss someone when you feel like your kissing a bushy vagina!

Side note I understand it's religious thing for some people such as islamic people but if it's not for religious purposes. I say sexy scruff if you can pull it off or clean shaven!

justmepreggo2020 · June 2014

Haha bushy vagina and curly pubes..

mallgrove · June 2014

Sing2phins said:
Why do people write "prolly" for probably? NO. Do you really say it "prolly" instead of "probably?" NO. And if you do, I'm going to write you off as lazy and uneducated.

Similar to this when people say "supposably", it drives me crazy! It's "supposedly" say it correctly or find a different word to use!

mskatiep · June 2014

I lurked the parenting thread about short shorts on middle school girls... It evolved into workplace dress code.

My UO, I do not think a little cleavage is inappropriate for an office setting. This is probably because I have large breasts and use good bras so they are where they should be... so no cleavage = almost turtle necks for me.

But, I do not think a middle school girls should wear shorts with anything less than a 3 in inseam.

mwhipple77 · June 2014

mskatiep said:

I lurked the parenting thread about short shorts on middle school girls... It evolved into workplace dress code. My UO, I do not think a little cleavage is inappropriate for an office setting. This is probably because I have large breasts and use good bras so they are where they should be... so no cleavage = almost turtle necks for me. But, I do not think a middle school girls should wear shorts with anything less than a 3 in inseam.

I lurked that thread as well. I think it's dependent upon what your office environment is. My office is very laid back. It's a business casual environment Mon-Thurs and jeans on Friday. Customers do not come to our office, I see vendors once a week probably. It's also a manufacturing setting, so wearing a suit daily would be completely unnecessary. Even on days when I have vendors coming in, I will wear khakis with a short sleeve shirt and flip flops. I don't think dressing professionally equals acting more professional. I get my job done regardless of what I'm wearing.

DebateThis · June 2014

trtlcrzy said:

I have an opinion I can share although I'm sure it has already been presented. I think people who chose to go without an epidural are crazy. I see it in the same light as someone choosing to get a tooth pulled without having it numbed.

I went med free, with an OP baby and pitocin. I did it on purpose, and no, I'm not crazy. I felt awesome immediately afterward and will do it that way again. I loved having complete control over my body to move in ways that felt natural to me in order to push my baby out.

To compare choosing med free birth to having a tooth pulled tells me you know very little about the mechanics of birth and the endocrine system. There are MANY reasons to go med free - specifically the fact that epidurals increase your time in labor and can cause fetal distress, heart decels, and a host of interventions. They're also increasing the number of young women with incontinence problems and pelvic floor prolapse. I can go on but I suspect it would fall on deaf ears.

J&JJ2011 · June 2014

I wanted to do med free, but 10 hours in to it, they said there was a 80% chance I was going to need a C-section as little man's head didn't want to come down and I was only a 4, so I was going to need drugs anyway : ( So, I said screw it and spent the next 15 hours much happier when they finally decided, yep, we're doing a C-section! SOOOOO glad I did the epi!

mskatiep · June 2014

trtlcrzy said:

mskatiep said:
I lurked the parenting thread about short shorts on middle school girls... It evolved into workplace dress code.

My UO, I do not think a little cleavage is inappropriate for an office setting. This is probably because I have large breasts and use good bras so they are where they should be... so no cleavage = almost turtle necks for me.

But, I do not think a middle school girls should wear shorts with anything less than a 3 in inseam.
I agree with 'a little cleavage' but I shouldn't be seeing half of your boobs out of the top of your shirt.

As for the inseam debate, I think the inseam length depends on the kid. A 4' tall person a 3in inseam is probably appropriate but a 5'5 person it might be a little short. I think it all depends on the child's height/build.

The issue though is that there needs to be some standard and fingertip is unfair for short people or people with longer arms. I think with a standard inseam, you can at least set it so that ass cheeks will not be out.

mskatiep · June 2014

@JoeLies‌ flaunt it when you aren't at work

Use camis when your shirts show too much.

I don't know when that line gets drawn either. Although I would say probably 5th grade would be a good starting point. I also disagree with the distraction excuse, but on the other hand I don't think teaching modesty to an extent is old fashioned either.

YummeeCookee · June 2014

Im ok w cleave at work too . . . I had big breasts before being pg/bf-ing, so its hard to hide them, even w a cami on. My last jobs included working for a British organization and then living in Hawaii so thankfully both were easy on dress codes. I also enjoy a good "prolly"

its just easier to type! Eta: typing is hard on ipad. .... Hence lazy shortcuts like prolly

barista411 · June 2014

I agree with @DebateThis‌ . If more people understood the physiology of birth I believe the epi rate would be much lower. Labor is a productive pain that your body has very specific ways of coping with. The natural high during and specifically after birth is incomparable to any drug they can give you.

I honestly think all the weird side effects to a epi sound worse than a natural labor. I seem to hear more stories of something going wrong after the epi is administered or it not working properly than I hear about it actually doing what it is actually supposed to do.

I guess my unpopular opinion is that I think it unfortunate the way our society views labor.

cagoldi · June 2014

I attempted to go med free. Also had pit and an OP baby. I made it to 8.5 cm when my cervix had swollen so badly it was recommended I do the epi. I agreed to it because I was more concerned about needing a C-section.

If I had another I think I could do without the epi and would try again.

TBH, BF was a painful, torturous endeavor and I'm not sure I would try it again. That misery dragged on for weeks. At least labor was only a matter of hours. In my case, 17 hours after my water broke.

DebateThis · June 2014

Re: inseams: I hate the word modesty and its implications. I'd much rather there be a blanket "knee length shorts for both sexes" rule at all schools.

TJHine · June 2014

I think we have mentioned this before, but it makes my head spin when I see people say/write that they are a single mom for the weekend while their husband is away. Or, similarly, that someone is a "insert sport here" widow. It's hurtful, just don't.

On that note, don't tell me you "understand" what I'm going through because your husband worked a lot, or even if you are a single mom. It's not the same thing damnit.

I'm sorry, I'm a little stabby today.

JaysonandKristin · June 2014

A pregnant woman in a coma can give birth vaginally because our bodies are made to expell newborns via a physiological process.
Teeth being yanked out by an outside force is NOT comparable. Nor is surgery.

*clearly, there are circumstances when the process doesn't go as planned.

fitmama418 · June 2014

TJHine said:

I think we have mentioned this before, but it makes my head spin when I see people say/write that they are a single mom for the weekend while their husband is away. Or, similarly, that someone is a "insert sport here" widow. It's hurtful, just don't. On that note, don't tell me you "understand" what I'm going through because your husband worked a lot, or even if you are a single mom. It's not the same thing damnit. I'm sorry, I'm a little stabby today.

(((bear hugs)))

JaysonandKristin · June 2014

What does modesty imply to you, DT?

Modesty with regard to clothing on the lower half of your body means keeping penises, ass cracks, ass cheeks and vulvas covered. No?

Kim22 · June 2014

I am a middle school teacher and last year my school changed the rules from finger tip length shorts to 2 inches above the knee or longer. It was a good move. Sadly, the fashion world doesn't make this an easy rule to follow. I have a three year old DD and I don't know if any of her shorts would fit the rule.

I think a little cleavage in an office setting is ok but I would not show it in my middle school classroom.

What do you ladies think of cleavage on middle school girls? We have that gray area to deal with too.

DebateThis · June 2014

JaysonandKristin said:

What does modesty imply to you, DT? Modesty with regard to clothing on the lower half of your body means keeping penises, ass cracks, ass cheeks and vulvas covered. No?

It's a much more loaded word than something like "professional" dress.

https://www.christianitytoday.com/women/2011/december/how-modest-is-hottest-is-hurting-christian-women.html?paging=off

[Deleted User] · June 2014

@kim22 It's so hard to find shorts for DD that I feel are long enough. I usually end up going with the longer "board short" type things or capris. She also wears leggings or shorts under all dresses.

kimmycup · June 2014

Dapostrophe said:

DebateThis said:

trtlcrzy said:

I have an opinion I can share although I'm sure it has already been presented. I think people who chose to go without an epidural are crazy. I see it in the same light as someone choosing to get a tooth pulled without having it numbed.

I went med free, with an OP baby and pitocin. I did it on purpose, and no, I'm not crazy. I felt awesome immediately afterward and will do it that way again. I loved having complete control over my body to move in ways that felt natural to me in order to push my baby out.

To compare choosing med free birth to having a tooth pulled tells me you know very little about the mechanics of birth and the endocrine system. There are MANY reasons to go med free - specifically the fact that epidurals increase your time in labor and can cause fetal distress, heart decels, and a host of interventions. They're also increasing the number of young women with incontinence problems and pelvic floor prolapse. I can go on but I suspect it would fall on deaf ears.

Exactly, tooth ≠ baby. No one cares about the affects of anesthesia on their tooth. Giving birth is an experience that involves two people. So, if someone chooses try to reduce risks for themselves and the baby by going about it as naturally as possible, why would that be considered "crazy"?

I've done it both ways. Each birth was different and I went with what I felt was the best choice at the time. I think we should assume each mother has her own reasons for her personal birth choices and respect that.

Keep the "crazy" labels for people who prefer NY style over Chicago style pizza.

Well said.

88sharonlee · June 2014

Re: cleavage in the workplace- totally fine with it if the outfit is professional in other regards. And like a pp said, if your working with other adults then everyovd should be a grown up about it. Just no cleavage for prison gaurds or middle school teachers!

Re: medals for 5k runs- totally agree. Yes a 5k run is a big deal for me, I'm super proud of myself, but I don't need/want a medal for it! I just like to save the paper number thing and maybe a t-shirt but I get that many people run more than this everyday, so that would be like getting a medal every time you went to the gym!

[Deleted User] · June 2014

CFox815 said:
I'm going to get shit.

I'm not a sentimental or DIY type of person, I wouldn't want a Christmas ornament that says "mom" for Mother's Day. That seems like clutter to me and I like to throw clutter out.

That being said, I think the arts and crafts projects for Father's Day are cheesy. I wouldn't want them, why give them to my husband?

So this! I'm not crafty and I hate nic nac stuff. Obv LO will probably give me a bunch over the years and I will love it from him, but it isn't something I will necessarily promote giving DH or myself. To make myself sound even worse, most of the craft stuff daycare sends home gets thrown out. I think I saved the hand prints and that's it.

kimmycup · June 2014

BrittAnnie19 said:

This stemmed from reading an article about Jill Duggar's wedding registry. Traditionally wedding and bridal shower gifts were intended to set up young couples with basic household necessities. Times have changed and nowadays people are getting married later, living together before getting married, and usually established well before marriage. I think because of this wedding gifts sometimes get out of hand and people feel pressure to buy overpriced fluffy gifts and I don't think any of it is necessary. A modest gift is just fine. No one needs overpriced, unused china.

P.S. + early confession: The article referred to them having a TK page. I started to get a little Duggar starstruck and thought "Jill is on TK? I wonder if I could figure out her sn." Then I felt like a stalker. https://www.theknot.com/wedding/Jill-and-Derick/view/5387319763559245/42210459

My UO is, I watch this show all the time. Or maybe that's a FFFC.

cagoldi · June 2014

trtlcrzy said:

mskatiep said:
I lurked the parenting thread about short shorts on middle school girls... It evolved into workplace dress code.

My UO, I do not think a little cleavage is inappropriate for an office setting. This is probably because I have large breasts and use good bras so they are where they should be... so no cleavage = almost turtle necks for me.

But, I do not think a middle school girls should wear shorts with anything less than a 3 in inseam.
I agree with 'a little cleavage' but I shouldn't be seeing half of your boobs out of the top of your shirt.

As for the inseam debate, I think the inseam length depends on the kid. A 4' tall person a 3in inseam is probably appropriate but a 5'5 person it might be a little short. I think it all depends on the child's height/build.

It has to be a standard length and not subjective to height, weight, build, etc. The girl that looks good in the short shorts shouldn't get in trouble for wearing an identical pair to a heavier, shorter girl.

That punishes the young lady for being attractive and makes her ashamed of her figure.

I developed really early and was a 36C when I finished sixth grade. I wore heavy sweaters in 100 degree heat for years. I was sexually harassed at school. Boys would flip up my skirt every time I wore one. FTR, they were not short. My mom went to the principal after I came home in tears to complain about their behavior. He told her the solution was to make me wear pants. Thank God my mom didn't stand for this, and told him to make sure the cavemen boys keep their hands off me. The issue is their self-control, not my attire.

She had to make another visit to the principal's office when my Freshman Science teacher started calling me Jessica Rabbit.

When I was 17 I had been a youth group leader at my church and attended there for 7 years with my whole family. I was reprimanded for wearing jeans with a tank top that showed about a half inch of cleavage and had thick straps because it was causing married men to get distracted in service. That was the last straw for me. If it were a girl that was very thin and didn't have much of a chest wearing that identical outfit no one would have given it a second thought.

cagoldi · June 2014

I don't think I know what run like a dog means. Dogs can run for a long time.

Before we put her down, my 15 year-old, vision impaired, overweight chihuahua could outrun me.

mskatiep · June 2014

I realize that modesty may be a loaded word for some people, but by definition it simply means with moderation. I will quote Tim to clarify where I am going with the word... "Uh, she won't be fuckin walking around with her tits and ass hanging out, that's for damn sure!"

I totally get what you are saying @cagoldi I developed early as well. Maybe the standard should be something like 4 in below their bottom to take into account different body shapes.

It is wrong for a woman to be blamed for a man's thoughts there is no doubt! I'm simply saying that in regards to minor children, there has to be some standards.

barista411 · June 2014

cagoldi said:

trtlcrzy said:

mskatiep said:
I lurked the parenting thread about short shorts on middle school girls... It evolved into workplace dress code.

My UO, I do not think a little cleavage is inappropriate for an office setting. This is probably because I have large breasts and use good bras so they are where they should be... so no cleavage = almost turtle necks for me.

But, I do not think a middle school girls should wear shorts with anything less than a 3 in inseam.
I agree with 'a little cleavage' but I shouldn't be seeing half of your boobs out of the top of your shirt.

As for the inseam debate, I think the inseam length depends on the kid. A 4' tall person a 3in inseam is probably appropriate but a 5'5 person it might be a little short. I think it all depends on the child's height/build.
It has to be a standard length and not subjective to height, weight, build, etc. The girl that looks good in the short shorts shouldn't get in trouble for wearing an identical pair to a heavier, shorter girl.

That punishes the young lady for being attractive and makes her ashamed of her figure.

I developed really early and was a 36C when I finished sixth grade. I wore heavy sweaters in 100 degree heat for years. I was sexually harassed at school. Boys would flip up my skirt every time I wore one. FTR, they were not short. My mom went to the principal after I came home in tears to complain about their behavior. He told her the solution was to make me wear pants. Thank God my mom didn't stand for this, and told him to make sure the cavemen boys keep their hands off me. The issue is their self-control, not my attire.

She had to make another visit to the principal's office when my Freshman Science teacher started calling me Jessica Rabbit.

When I was 17 I had been a youth group leader at my church and attended there for 7 years with my whole family. I was reprimanded for wearing jeans with a tank top that showed about a half inch of cleavage and had thick straps because it was causing married men to get distracted in service. That was the last straw for me. If it were a girl that was very thin and didn't have much of a chest wearing that identical outfit no one would have given it a second thought.

When I was in 4th grade I went to a religious school summer day camp. I was one of first girls to start developing boobs that summer. I was pulled aside and told I had to wear a t-shirt over my one piece swim suit because I may be a distraction to the male life guard. Mind you we swam indoors with only girls but because there was one male in the whole room I was shamed for my body. I refused to swim that whole summer and had serious body issues after that.

That school is also under investigation for telling rape victims it was their fault because they shouldn't have worn such provocative clothing.

It is seriously time society holds men accountable for their thoughts and actions.

JaysonandKristin · June 2014

Anyone noticing the running theme with the modesty issues??

:: runs back to her little atheist haven in the woods::

PeachsMama · June 2014

I hate the whole "boys will be boys" thing. I saw a time out chair that said something like "boys will be boys, or so they say. But I'm raising my boys to be men one day. So boys who hit, kick and shout will be boys that sit in time out" I loved it! I don't know why people don't get that they need to raise men! Stop excusing behavior that is disrespectful.

I have more to add but my dinner is done..

barista411 · June 2014

JaysonandKristin said:
Anyone noticing the running theme with the modesty issues??

:: runs back to her little atheist haven in the woods::

I guess the way I see it though is that I don't have a problem with God. I have a problem with modern organized religion using God's name to manipulate it's followers.

JaysonandKristin · June 2014

barista411 said:

JaysonandKristin said:
Anyone noticing the running theme with the modesty issues??

:: runs back to her little atheist haven in the woods::
I guess the way I see it though is that I don't have a problem with God. I have a problem with modern organized religion using God's name to manipulate it's followers.

God and religion are not the same thing for me. The reasons I don't believe in God are not the reasons I despise religion.

mskatiep · June 2014

barista411 said:

JaysonandKristin said:
Anyone noticing the running theme with the modesty issues??

:: runs back to her little atheist haven in the woods::
I guess the way I see it though is that I don't have a problem with God. I have a problem with modern organized religion using God's name to manipulate it's followers.

Um, this is not just a modern phenomena.... Organized religion has always tried to modify behavior using God's name. Now we can just disagree without being punished or killed for it.

I'm sorry your church tried to shame you like that.

Mum2Be28 · June 2014

@Sing2phins‌ I admit that I often type "I dunno" instead of "I don't know." But that's how I say it out loud too. I understand this may be just as bad as "prolly."

@CFox815‌ I made DH a Shutterfly story book of just pictures and stories of him and DS. I also had a silhouette done of DS and framed and got him a new blue and white seersucker suit because it was on sale.

*sigh* - I guess I'm a lazy loser.

sands42 · June 2014

Agree... medals only begin to be acceptable at a half. To be honest the 13.1 stickers on cars to me are even silly. I've never done a full marathon. I did a half when my first LO was 8 months. My sister & bro in law are professional long distance running coaches so I'm used to hearing about crazy long/fast runs. Me on the other hand- I just got winded typing this... :P

Smilz4782 said:
I nearly forgot mine!!

5k "races" (mostly fun runs) don't deserve a medal.
Nope.
My first Half Marathon we didn't even get a tech shirt (just a cotton long sleever) much less a medal. Medals were for Marathon finishers.

Boom.

mallgrove · June 2014

Along the lines of organized religion, I used to attend a more new age Christian church. It drove me nuts when they would ask for money each week. I am all for charity and helping out, but this church had a state of the art audio/ visual booth, a cafe, a full band on stage, large projector screens, and the list goes on. My intention was to be there to participate in the service and enjoy that weeks teachings. I would contribute what I could, but always felt guilty when I wasn't able to. I guess I never liked the idea of paying to go to church. I know all churches do this but I feel like at some of the smaller less extravagant churches the money is really going somewhere positive. I just think it's taking away from the real point of going to church, sure it's more entertaining, but instead of spending so much on pricey and flashy equipment I feel the money could be
better spent.

beccaxbooxbear · June 2014

mallgrove said:
Along the lines of organized religion, I used to attend a more new age Christian church. It drove me nuts when they would ask for money each week. I am all for charity and helping out, but this church had a state of the art audio/ visual booth, a cafe, a full band on stage, large projector screens, and the list goes on. My intention was to be there to participate in the service and enjoy that weeks teachings. I would contribute what I could, but always felt guilty when I wasn't able to. I guess I never liked the idea of paying to go to church. I know all churches do this but I feel like at some of the smaller less extravagant churches the money is really going somewhere positive. I just think it's taking away from the real point of going to church, sure it's more entertaining, but instead of spending so much on pricey and flashy equipment I feel the money could be
better spent.

Just want to point out that not all churches ask for money when you attend..

mallgrove · June 2014

Sing2phins said:

beccaxbooxbear said:

mallgrove said:
Along the lines of organized religion, I used to attend a more new age Christian church. It drove me nuts when they would ask for money each week. I am all for charity and helping out, but this church had a state of the art audio/ visual booth, a cafe, a full band on stage, large projector screens, and the list goes on. My intention was to be there to participate in the service and enjoy that weeks teachings. I would contribute what I could, but always felt guilty when I wasn't able to. I guess I never liked the idea of paying to go to church. I know all churches do this but I feel like at some of the smaller less extravagant churches the money is really going somewhere positive. I just think it's taking away from the real point of going to church, sure it's more entertaining, but instead of spending so much on pricey and flashy equipment I feel the money could be
better spent.
Just want to point out that not all churches ask for money when you attend..
Really? Because every church I've ever been to, including the UU churches I grew up in, always passed the plate.

I have had the same experience as @Sing2phins‌, I have never attended a service at any church where they have not either passed a plate or directed the church goers to a collection box at the back of the church. I guess my issue is more with the big churches who focus so much on the technology and each service is a big production asking for money. As I said in my original post smaller more traditional churches needing donations doesn't bother me. I guess at the new age churches I feel like I'm paying admission and for the tech equipment and the message gets lost. A lot of people like these churches but it feels excessive to me.

Edited because I hit post too soon.

cagoldi · June 2014

Sing2phins said:

beccaxbooxbear said:

mallgrove said:
Along the lines of organized religion, I used to attend a more new age Christian church. It drove me nuts when they would ask for money each week. I am all for charity and helping out, but this church had a state of the art audio/ visual booth, a cafe, a full band on stage, large projector screens, and the list goes on. My intention was to be there to participate in the service and enjoy that weeks teachings. I would contribute what I could, but always felt guilty when I wasn't able to. I guess I never liked the idea of paying to go to church. I know all churches do this but I feel like at some of the smaller less extravagant churches the money is really going somewhere positive. I just think it's taking away from the real point of going to church, sure it's more entertaining, but instead of spending so much on pricey and flashy equipment I feel the money could be
better spent.
Just want to point out that not all churches ask for money when you attend..
Really? Because every church I've ever been to, including the UU churches I grew up in, always passed the plate.

Same, except I've never attended UU. I honestly don't remember if this was done at synagogue or the Buddhist temple though.

PeachsMama · June 2014

My church doesn't ask. Or direct. There's bins but at no point are you asked or directed. We have a card in our handout every week where you can update your info, ask for help, prayers, answered prayers, things like that and they direct those to the same bins. And once a year they do a sermon on our budget, they tell us where they spent what, and if at anytime you want to see it more in depth they let you. Just not what each staff member gets paid or what each family donates.

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