I am team consult the behaviorist then decide. Honestly though, with a bite history the odds are stacked against a good re-homing possibility. I really hope you can avoid having to put him to sleep. My heart hurts for you having to go through this.
I'm not loving those who are all "get rid of it" like the dog is trash or something.
Yes, that is totally how people are treating it. Leave it to you to twist shit around.
Did you see how many "get rid of its" there were? I'm not twisting. Those words speak for themselves. "Team euthanize" is equally as shitty to say to this poor person.
So... What? Should I lie to her about what I think? About what my experience shows happens to dogs like this? About what I sincerely feel is best?
When I said earlier that this thread made me cry I wasn't lying. This shit is fucking heartbreaking. I think it'd be far more shitty to not share what I know and have learned through years of rescue.
I don't suggest euthanasia lightly or to be shitty to her. At all. It's a horrible decision to make. I've had to make it many times and it sucks but euthanasia itself isn't bad.
I have suggested euthanasia way too many times in the past year, not with the goal of being shitty to the owner but because I sincerely feel it's best for the animal. One was a cat that I hand raised as a kitten. I have a file of photos of animals I made the decision for or who I suggested it for. I look at it regularly and wish it could be different.
I don't suggest it lightly and certainly not to be shitty.
I think consulting a behaviorist is just delaying the inevitable. Every day the dog stays is risking another incident. I would euthanize.
Well if it's part of her grieving process then it's what needs to be. Hopefully the dog can live somewhere else temporarily until the behavioural assessment is done.
The grieving process is very important and the OP needs to do what she needs to do.
3) Lock the dog in a confined area for a month, or realistically the rest of it's life in your home
4) Euthanize
5) Do nothing and let the dog bite again (and it will happen). And then you lose the dog and the child.
And with option one or two the chances of biting again are HIGH.
But really OP... I've walked the processing and grieving trail a lot in the past year, including for several animals I knew and loved personally. Please know I WILL NOT JUDGE if you need to alternately rage against or grieve over the dog or if you need to talk to sixteen vets or seven rescues or decide to finish it all tomorrow.
You are heartbroken and I hurt for you and am more than happy to talk to you via PM and about this shit.
This has happened to us, albeit in different circumstances. We still have the dog.
In our case, my kid chased him under a table, cornered the dog, and made him feel threatened. We took that into account when making the decision whether or not to re-home. He's a 12 pound shih tzu and IMO isn't a threat unless backed into a corner and scared.
If I was genuinely concerned about my children's safety, the pet would go.
We had the exact same situation (12 lb shit tzu, cornered under table by son and his thumb got bit.) What was a deciding factor for me was that she only did it because she felt threatened and it was one nip and she was done. I didn't have to pull her off him. If she had been bigger or definitely if she had fully attacked him and had to be pulled off she would have been gone. After that they stayed away from each other for the most part and we were more vigilant.
You are, unfortunately, long over due for working with a *good* dog trainer. (I say this based on your description of past behavior with your husband and "not liking kids".) There was a problem that you didn't resolve, and this is the very unlucky outcome. It may take a lot of work, and changes to family lifestyle you don't necessarily like (like a permanent separation between dog and baby), but it might also take rehoming the dog.
First, I would check with a vet that the dog is physically sound (no pain, no thyroid issues, no anxiety, etc.), then work with the best trainer you can find. If you cannot find the time/money to do these things, or if it appears that all the time and work in the world won't resolve the problem, just rehome the dog before another dog bite happens.
(I say this as a LONG TIME dog owner. I feel the pain. But a dog is more responsibility than most people are honest about, and situations like these force you to be honest.)
Meh, I have an AE that I've never used. It's possible someone just thought of the name and wanted it, even if they had no reason at the moment to use it.
Okay guys. This is becoming increasingly more difficult. The vet said the dog is medically sound but since we cannot confirm the bite was unprovoked, it will be very difficult to place him in a shelter/new home. No luck with the behaviorist. Vet said he may have anxiety issues that are exacerbated by his vision problems and the dramatic changes. He talked about euthanasia but even my H didn't think that was appropriate and actually said he'd pick keeping him over killing him. He suggested family and friends, which we are not having luck with. I am continuing my shelter search and have filed applications with breed-specific shelters but for the most part, I keep getting the same response which is "no" because of this incident.
As for the username issue, yeah it's silly but it was either use this or wait 3 days in bump jail.
I'm kind of shocked that the vet/behaviorist isn't taking more swift action. I mean, to me, the timeline for getting the dog out of the house is measured in hours, not days, so everything you've posted about looking into all these other options would not be working for me, because the dog must go. Now.
This is exactly what I am struggling with. Believe me, I want to yell at all of them because I feel like they aren't taking action. Even the shelters, though I'm not blaming them. I know there are shelters (I've called them) that would take him but won't because they are full and they say things like there are dogs with no history so it's not fair to them. I can understand this line of thinking I just don't like it.
FWIW, he means he wants me to take my time finding him a better place. He doesn't believe he deserves to die and it's hard for me to disagree.
I have several responses for this and the immediate ones weren't too nice. Deserve to die isn't the right wording, but no one deserves to have this animal handed off on them either, nor does the dog deserve to be treated with fear/reservation, etc the rest of its life. If your H would truly keep the dog over euthanizing, either we aren't getting the real story or your H is a moron.
2 years, 2 surgeries, 2 clomid fails, 2 IUIs, 1 loss, IVF #1 - 10/25/10 = BFP!, DS is now 3.5yrs!
TTC #2 - 6/12 surgery #3, FET #1 & 1.2 = BFN, 12/2012 FET #2 = BFP! DD is 1.5 yrs!
Surprise! 12/16/14 BFP, loss #2 12/31/14
I can't wait for the "im getting a divorce" post in 5 years or so because your husbands were fed up with your disgusting chair asses from playing on the knot all day and getting fired 4-5 times for not doing any work. you guys are all winners!! ~ Laur929
I have several responses for this and the immediate ones weren't too nice. Deserve to die isn't the right wording, but no one deserves to have this animal handed off on them either, nor does the dog deserve to be treated with fear/reservation, etc the rest of its life. If your H would truly keep the dog over euthanizing, either we aren't getting the real story or your H is a moron.
OK well his intelligence is questionable...just kidding, but let me try to clarify where he is coming from. This has been my dog for 6 years. My H has no love for the dog but has great love for me. He would have shot the dog by now, himself, if it were up to him. Really, he doesn't want me to be hurt but I am and will be no matter what. I get that, he gets that, it's just a love thing. I'm the decision maker about this and the thing about him lunging at my H has already been solved so I don't think we can count that in his "aggression" because it was provoked. The kids? yes, definitely.
You can keep trying to justify keeping the dog all you want. It's still a shitty personal choice and an awful parenting choice.
We're not keeping the dog. We are just not going to euthanize. I've followed up with 2 of the shelters that would take him and, no definite answers yet which is why I hadn't updated but there is a good possibility he will have a new home tomorrow. NO KIDS. I disclosed every single piece of history I can think of. Despite some of the speculations on here that I've lied, I'm not a bad person and I don't want to take the risk of him biting a child which is the only population of people he has ever tried to dominate. He will do fine with a one-on-one relationship, or an older couple, in my opinion, but the shelter will assess upon intake and it's their call. I will let them make that decision.
I spoke too soon about the thing with my H because he didn't give me all the details. I'm just telling you what I know and I DO genuinely appreciate all the advice and have taken the steps that seemed most reasonable to me FROM YOU GUYS! Going straight to euthanasia without looking down other avenues wasn't the right decision for us. Not keeping the dog is the right decision for us.
I'm very late to this but wanted to share my experience with this. I've been in this situation. I had a dog I rescued as a puppy when I was single, no kids. He was always a little 'off'. He didn't trust strangers and really only liked me. I tried to socialize him and took him to training. It didn't change his behavior. But since I lived alone it wasn't that big of a deal.
Fast forward 4 years to having my first kid. He was always fantastic with her from day one. He was still crappy with strangers though and didn't even really care for my H (bf at the time). But I thought it was fine since he was ok with the baby. And then it happened. She was about a year old when he bit her in the face right in front of me. He drew blood but she was ok.
This was my puppy I rescued and adored for 5 years. He was my buddy and my heart for the first 4 years. He was euthanized the day after he bit her. With his history he was not a candidate for re-homing. I bought him the biggest damn bone I could find, let him eat it while we hung out for a few hours, and the we went to the vet and I let him go. To this day it was the hardest damn thing I've ever done. I'm crying typing this and it was 2 years ago.
I'm very sorry this has happened. But given all the details I have to say I think euthanizing is the best option here for everyone's safety. And please do not feel bad that you still love the dog and that this is a difficult decision. I understand. Being a grown up blows.
Hold on hold on hold on. The dog was never assessed as not a candidate. It's the policy of the shelters. The vet is more of an unofficial assessment but he gave basically the same options that have been circulating here. The shelter will do a proper assessment. Without getting upset because really i'm not trying to be ignorant but why is this such a bad course of action? If, in the end, the shelter assesses the dog is un-adoptable, then I would feel better knowing he had a proper assessment ASAP rather than 1 month from now. I hope you all can see what my perspective is here and FTR the dog has been quarantined since the incident. Everyone is safe. He's a 20lb dog, not a bear.
You can keep trying to justify keeping the dog all you want. It's still a shitty personal choice and an awful parenting choice.
We're not keeping the dog. We are just not going to euthanize. I've followed up with 2 of the shelters that would take him and, no definite answers yet which is why I hadn't updated but there is a good possibility he will have a new home tomorrow. NO KIDS. I disclosed every single piece of history I can think of. Despite some of the speculations on here that I've lied, I'm not a bad person and I don't want to take the risk of him biting a child which is the only population of people he has ever tried to dominate. He will do fine with a one-on-one relationship, or an older couple, in my opinion, but the shelter will assess upon intake and it's their call. I will let them make that decision.
But he has only ever been your dog. A new living situation could very likely increase his aggression. If the shelter deems him unfit for re-homing, will they call you to come get him? Or are you essentially turning him over to strangers because you don't want the guilt of euthanizing on your shoulders alone?
2 years, 2 surgeries, 2 clomid fails, 2 IUIs, 1 loss, IVF #1 - 10/25/10 = BFP!, DS is now 3.5yrs!
TTC #2 - 6/12 surgery #3, FET #1 & 1.2 = BFN, 12/2012 FET #2 = BFP! DD is 1.5 yrs!
Surprise! 12/16/14 BFP, loss #2 12/31/14
I can't wait for the "im getting a divorce" post in 5 years or so because your husbands were fed up with your disgusting chair asses from playing on the knot all day and getting fired 4-5 times for not doing any work. you guys are all winners!! ~ Laur929
But he has only ever been your dog. A new living situation could very likely increase his aggression. If the shelter deems him unfit for re-homing, will they call you to come get him? Or are you essentially turning him over to strangers because you don't want the guilt of euthanizing on your shoulders alone?
That is a good point, wow, never thought of that (see, i'm open). I don't know what the shelter will do. I am pretty sure they do a foster program first. I am waiting for the woman to call me back. I will definitely ask and my main motive is the assessment and getting the professional opinion. I don't have a problem putting him down myself. I am taking responsibility by getting the assessment, which was previously praised? as soon as tomorrow instead of 1 month from now. Like I said, if he is deemed unworthy then I accept that.
What happens if the shelter takes him but can't adopt him out? He lives out his days in a new scary environment without the only family he's ever known?
The nicest thing you can do for your dog is to take him to the vet yourself and cuddle him through his last moments. The shelter is a cop out.
So is the dog in quarantine with animal control right now or not? Before you stated that you didn't have to do anything with the dog, but now you are saying it is in quarantine. Which is it?
You are endangering your child. Since you refuse to put the dog down down, CPS should be called on you for willful negligence.
No, I don't see your perspective because I'm not a moron that puts a dog about my child's safety.
Seriously? This is alarmist. Frankly, not sure why OP is still paying attention to what you have to say, since you called her a liar once in this thread already.
OP- if your dog is separated from your child and no one is in danger, I don't see the harm in taking a few days to make sure you make the right decision. Euthanasia, obviously, is irreversible so I can understand wanting to feel certain. I also still think you need to get a neutral assessment done, because although there are many opinions on this board, none of us have met the dog in person and most of us don't have the training to do a proper assessment anyhow. Waiting for the behaviorist to become available isn't an option. Can the shelter do the assessment, then decide whether to take him based on the results? If they determine that he's an adoptable dog to a family without children, great. If he flunks, you take him back and have him euthanized in your presence so it's not traumatic for him.
The dog is still in the house. In-home quarantine is not routinely done when the bite occurs in the home and it is a person that lives in the house that was bit. It takes half a second to get out. And now the dog is going to be out of sorts from being confined, so they won't be themselves. It's a recipe for disaster.
The shelter will say to put it down because of the bite history. They can't afford the liability of someone coming back on them when the dog bites again. Notice the when, not if.
I would bet that in-home dog bites are not widely reported to any agency, so therefore it's impossible to know whether in-home quarantine is "routinely followed." Regarding the shelter's response, you might be right, then again you might not be. Liability laws and shelter procedures vary widely state by state, and while you may be an expert on the procedures in your state, it may or may not apply to OP's situation. I personally would want a neutral third party assessment before I made this irreversible decision, if for nothing other than closure for myself. Either way it's alarmist to say that CPS should be called, when OP is clearly dealing with this issue.
I had a dog who was a rescue. She had been abused by her previous owner. I got her when I was single. She would try to bite anyone who came near me when I was sitting. She was the sweetest dog ever, until a man would stand up.
She bit my husband numerous times. She bit friends. She tried to bite neighbors and visitors. She loved my husband, but she would revert back to her anxiety anytime she felt threatened, or that I was threatened. We did ALL kinds of training, and I mean, seriously, everything that was available to us, for years. Nothing worked.
She got even more protective, if possible, when I got pregnant. We knew we couldn't keep her around a baby, and the plan was always for my parents to take her when the baby was born. We didn't make it to 6 months pregnant. My parents took her in. It was the best possible re-homing situation for her. She loved them, and knew them, and had lived a part of her life in their house already.
Things never changed for her. Though she wasn't as protective of my parents as she was of me, so was still unpredictable, and I now realize, in a constant state of fight/flight. She passed away last winter due to illness, but honest to god, if I had it to do over again, I think euthanasia would have been much more humane that to let her go on that way (and at the time, she was perfectly healthy.)
Giving her away, and then losing her this winter, was unbelievably difficult. I'm sorry for what you are going through.
Re: my dog bit my baby.
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
So... What? Should I lie to her about what I think? About what my experience shows happens to dogs like this? About what I sincerely feel is best?
When I said earlier that this thread made me cry I wasn't lying. This shit is fucking heartbreaking. I think it'd be far more shitty to not share what I know and have learned through years of rescue.
I don't suggest euthanasia lightly or to be shitty to her. At all. It's a horrible decision to make. I've had to make it many times and it sucks but euthanasia itself isn't bad.
I have suggested euthanasia way too many times in the past year, not with the goal of being shitty to the owner but because I sincerely feel it's best for the animal. One was a cat that I hand raised as a kitten. I have a file of photos of animals I made the decision for or who I suggested it for. I look at it regularly and wish it could be different.
I don't suggest it lightly and certainly not to be shitty.
And with option one or two the chances of biting again are HIGH.
But really OP... I've walked the processing and grieving trail a lot in the past year, including for several animals I knew and loved personally. Please know I WILL NOT JUDGE if you need to alternately rage against or grieve over the dog or if you need to talk to sixteen vets or seven rescues or decide to finish it all tomorrow.
You are heartbroken and I hurt for you and am more than happy to talk to you via PM and about this shit.
@lisajay09
We had the exact same situation (12 lb shit tzu, cornered under table by son and his thumb got bit.) What was a deciding factor for me was that she only did it because she felt threatened and it was one nip and she was done. I didn't have to pull her off him. If she had been bigger or definitely if she had fully attacked him and had to be pulled off she would have been gone. After that they stayed away from each other for the most part and we were more vigilant.
::adjusting tinfoil hat and hightailing out::
But damn it I want to know what happens with the dog.
Poor dog.
Elaborate? Unless you mean the complexity of it, then yeah, putting it that way is over-simplifying the situation.
2 years, 2 surgeries, 2 clomid fails, 2 IUIs, 1 loss, IVF #1 - 10/25/10 = BFP!, DS is now 3.5yrs!
TTC #2 - 6/12 surgery #3, FET #1 & 1.2 = BFN, 12/2012 FET #2 = BFP! DD is 1.5 yrs!
Surprise! 12/16/14 BFP, loss #2 12/31/14
I can't wait for the "im getting a divorce" post in 5 years or so because your husbands were fed up with your disgusting chair asses from playing on the knot all day and getting fired 4-5 times for not doing any work. you guys are all winners!! ~ Laur929
Fast forward 4 years to having my first kid. He was always fantastic with her from day one. He was still crappy with strangers though and didn't even really care for my H (bf at the time). But I thought it was fine since he was ok with the baby. And then it happened. She was about a year old when he bit her in the face right in front of me. He drew blood but she was ok.
This was my puppy I rescued and adored for 5 years. He was my buddy and my heart for the first 4 years. He was euthanized the day after he bit her. With his history he was not a candidate for re-homing. I bought him the biggest damn bone I could find, let him eat it while we hung out for a few hours, and the we went to the vet and I let him go. To this day it was the hardest damn thing I've ever done. I'm crying typing this and it was 2 years ago.
I'm very sorry this has happened. But given all the details I have to say I think euthanizing is the best option here for everyone's safety. And please do not feel bad that you still love the dog and that this is a difficult decision. I understand. Being a grown up blows.
2 years, 2 surgeries, 2 clomid fails, 2 IUIs, 1 loss, IVF #1 - 10/25/10 = BFP!, DS is now 3.5yrs!
TTC #2 - 6/12 surgery #3, FET #1 & 1.2 = BFN, 12/2012 FET #2 = BFP! DD is 1.5 yrs!
Surprise! 12/16/14 BFP, loss #2 12/31/14
I can't wait for the "im getting a divorce" post in 5 years or so because your husbands were fed up with your disgusting chair asses from playing on the knot all day and getting fired 4-5 times for not doing any work. you guys are all winners!! ~ Laur929
The nicest thing you can do for your dog is to take him to the vet yourself and cuddle him through his last moments. The shelter is a cop out.