Didn't think I'd be joining this group.

aubreyan · June 2014

Hi, I'm Aubrey. I am 22 weeks pregnant and found out today our little girl has no heartbeat. I knew something was wrong. I just knew it. I'm so, so sad. I just wish I could have felt her kick one time. She looked great in our ultrasound 2 weeks ago.

Can anyone give me any advice or things to expect? They sent me home and said they would call about coming in to deliver. How long will this take? I'm so sad but knowing she is in there is awful. I just want to know what's next.

Thank you for your help.

ikrystal · June 2014

I don't have any advice, but I did want to say I am sorry for the loss of your little girl. The ladies here are great, and I know you will find support. ((hugs))

BrittianyM · June 2014

So sorry for the loss of your sweet baby girl. Sending thoughts and prayers your way.

VyD81 · June 2014

Edit, ***siggy warning***

I'm sorry for the loss of your baby girl. My OB sent me to the hospital that night to be induced and I gave birth to our son the next morning. I had an easy delivery and was able to recover quickly physically. We spent time with our son, took pictures, and left with a memory box. You might want to decide how you would like your baby girl's remain to be handle as the hospital will need the information before you leave the hospital.

I hope the physical part of the next step will be easy on you.

luckyclover0922 · June 2014

So sorry to hear of the loss of your baby girl...

mmsweeney1 · June 2014

** ticker **

I just wanted to say I feel for you! I remember all too well that heart-sinking moment when I found out there was no heartbeat. That has to be the worst thing in the world. I was already at L&D when I found out so I was induced right away. It took about 12 hours for me.
Big hugs to you - I am so sorry you have to go through this.

stefuge · June 2014

I'm so sorry for the loss of your little girl. When we found out we had lost our son, they told us we could go straight to the hospital, or wait it out a bit at home since my body had started contracting. We decided to go straight there, and they got me on pain meds, since the contractions were escalating quickly. I ended up having an emergency C-section, so I don't have any other advice on the inducing or labor part.

At our hospital, they took photos, got footprints, and cut a lock of his hair, along with giving us his nightgown, hat, blankie that he was wrapped in, and his armband, as well as letting us hold him for as long as we wanted. I wish I had gotten handprints as well, along with hand and foot molds and more pictures. Basically - you can't have enough of these types of things. There is so little to remember our babies by, anything you can think of that you might want, ask.

I am so so sorry for your loss, and know that we are here whenever you need us. ((hugs))

lexusolsen · June 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss. I have two regrets. One, that I don't have a picture with both ds and dd. Two, that I didn't spend more time with him. I hope your delivery is as easy as possible.

aubreyan · June 2014

Thank you ladies. So much. What a terrible day. I really hope the Dr. sends me straight to the hospital tomorrow. This would have been our third. I have a 5 year old ds and a 2 year old dd. They have kept me busy and my mind off things so far and I am very thankful to have them.

shandorfml2 · June 2014

I am so sorry sweetheart. (((((Hugs))))

nohalo21 · June 2014

I'm sorry for the loss of your sweet daughter.

We lost our daughter at 18 weeks. We found out at our anatomy scan that she had passed. I chose to be induced the following morning. The induction took almost 20 hours with Cytotec. I was not in labor when we began. The hospital was wonderful. They gave us a room away from the main rooms on the floor. I was given my choice of pain meds- chose to have a morphine drip in case I wanted meds. When she was delivered we were able to spend as much time with her that we wanted. I had contacted NILMDTS to have some photos taken. The hospital had a blanket and hat for her and prepared foot and hand prints in plaster. I did not bring anything from home for her, but I wish I had.

Your children will help you through this. My other daughter was such a help in getting me through this. Although, it was hard for her to understand what was happening but she knew I needed her. Sending hugs your way.

bunnybun4 · June 2014

I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet little girl. I chose a D&E so I don't have any advice on the induction/delivery but I do really wish I had gotten to hold and love on my little girl.

big ((hugs))

erinel · June 2014

I'm so sorry. I have no advice either, but hope you find answers.

lexusolsen · June 2014

I didn't realize you have other children too. I have found the book, We going to have a baby but got an angel instead really helpful." It helped dd to understand what had happened to her little brother.

Heatherhah · June 2014

take as many pictures as possible you will cherish those forever. Trust me. Also anything that she touches you will find very sacred. I still sleep with a blanket Sydney was covered in. We were able to get some of her hair, hand prints, foot prints even a mold of her hands and feet. The only difference is Sydney was 38 weeks. Just make sure you do what is best for you and your DH.

I am so sorry you have to join us!! It has been 2 years and 8 months for me and it still feels like it was yesterday.

Heather

Dixon813 · June 2014

I'm so sorry for the loss of your precious girl.

I delivered at 23 weeks because of pre-term labor/early rupture of membranes, so I don't have any advice/experience with inducing labor.

As others have mentioned, unfortunately you have to think about how to handle her remains (we chose to have the hospital take care of our babies) as well as spending time with your baby, getting pictures (I wish we had contacted Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep...) as well as do you want your children and/or family members to meet her.

Again, I'm so sorry to welcome you to this board - I hope that physically, labor is as smooth as it can be.

Many prayers are with you and your family.

OSUWifey09 · June 2014

***SIGGY WARNING***

I lost my son, Devon, at almost 35 weeks in 2012 (it's been almost two years...wow...definitely still feels like yesterday). The hospital gave me the option to be released and wait to go into labor on my own, or to be induced right then and there - I chose to be induced immediately. I was nowhere near being ready for labor, so I did three rounds of Cycotec, plus pitocin, before things really started going. I labored for 27 hours. I had them give me IV pain meds for awhile so I could still get up and move, then I got a ridiculously strong epidural once I asked for it. I really didn't feel anything, but I was so emotionally distraught that it all seems like a blur now.

I do not know when you will be induced, but definitely make sure that they can give you a private room far away from everything/everyone (i got a corner room that was the furthest away from the other rooms; new laboring moms were put on the opposite end of the hallway so I never saw/heard them or their babies). Make sure there is some sort of sign or picture on your door that lets those entering know what you are going through a loss. As others said, take pictures, spend time, do whatever you feel is right in the moment - and try not to regret things you wanted to do but didn't, for one reason or another. I didn't get as many pictures as I wanted, but I will always remember what he looked like and will always cherish those few hours we did have together. Nothing will take that away from me.

Please update when you can on how you're doing. I'm so, so sorry to welcome you here. **hugs**

mumel16 · June 2014

I don't have any experience with a situation like yours, but I'm so sorry for your loss.

sunflwra · June 2014

So sorry for your loss. I lost my son at 20 weeks. Checked into the hospital 2 days later to be induced. Checked in at 11pm and delivered at 7am. Only had some strong cramping at the end so I got some Stadol (could have had whatever pain meds I wanted just didn't feel my pain warranted an epi).

My son had limited blood flow the last few weeks due to a cord accident so he was undersized. I thought I wanted to see him but I also knew I didn't want a negative image in my mind- so I asked the nurse for her recommendation and she said I may not want to see him, so I didn't. It's not for everyone but it was best for us.

My physical recovery was relatively easy (good pain meds and Ambien) and I was out of work for 3 weeks.

Unfortunately I'm back there again- literally. We lost our daughter at 15 weeks and I'm waiting to deliver. Since it's our second 2nd tri loss we'll be getting chromosomal testing done to see if there are any other issues.

It's a shitty thing to go through but I will tell you that my daughter was a wonderful distraction through the whole thing. I hope your kids will be the same for you. Take care of yourself.

LyndseyTS · June 2014

I'm so sorry for the loss of your sweet daughter. We lost our daughter (no heartbeat) and went in two days later to be induced. We were on a waiting list of sorts. I'm not sure what you're situation will look like, but we were there for just over a day including the induction, delivery, and spending some time holding her.

mumel16 · June 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss, I wish there was something I could say to make it easier.

gracie5107 · June 2014

I just wanted to say that I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter.

msunshine123 · June 2014

I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter. Learning your baby no longer has a heartbeat is heartbreaking.
I agree with @ stefuge "At our hospital, they took photos, got footprints, and cut a lock of his hair, along with giving us his nightgown, hat, blankie that he was wrapped in, and his armband, as well as letting us hold him for as long as we wanted. I wish I had gotten handprints as well, along with hand and foot molds and more pictures. Basically - you can't have enough of these types of things."
We had pictures, foot prints, lock of hair, and held our son for hours... You can never have enough pictures, hugs and kisses... that will make up for the lifetime you had planned, but you can try. Thinking of you and your family and sending you hugs.

elmindreda · June 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss. I just went through this about 7 1/2 weeks ago with my baby girl at 23 weeks, but we found out at our 20 week scan that there were problems.

I did go through being induced. I chose to go to the hospital a few hours after the diagnosis. The doctors told me it was all up to my timing as to when to start inducing. I checked in around noon, delivered 9am the next day, and checked out 7pm. The whole process took about 18 hours I think (longer than average), but I was able to sleep a few hours during the night with the help of some narcotics. (I chose not to get an epidural.) I didn't start feeling bad until 8pm even though they started inducing at 1pm, and I didn't have really hard, painful labor until the last hour or two. Also, no pushing necessary for me since she was so tiny (only 8in 5oz since she had IUGR). The placenta followed really easily after that. No major bleeding because I had been up to go to the bathroom every hour.

The hospital staff was so wonderful to us as well. I hope you have great people to help you through this awful process. The nurse took pictures (touched and untouched) and did footprints and handprints. She even made a plaque with her name and the date on it along with footprints and gave us a framed picture that was touched up. We were able to hold her as long as we wanted, and I'm glad we did even though she didn't look like a normal full term baby and I wasn't sure I would want to look at her.

Again, I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. I hope that your hospital makes this as smooth as possible for you. Make sure you look for support from people throughout the next weeks and months (and years) and that you don't hold everything inside. It's alright to break down and sob or be angry or numb. Sending you hugs and prayers.

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