The Randomest Thread

YankeePeach08 · June 2014

Oh lordy do I have penis stories

1. when potty training AJ, my H taught him to go standing up (logical right?), well I hear the following convo in the bathroom

AJ: Daddy maybe you can teach mommy to go pee pee standing up too

my H: uhhhhh girls sit down to go potty

AJ: Oh, right...b/c mommy has a special penis right???

my H :very special, now lets go finish watching the football game.

2. Also during potty training, we would put underwear on AJ first thing in the am and when he would have an erection he would freak out and say his "penis was broken" and walk funny. My H assured him it was definitely NOT broken and working just fine.

3. AJ doesn't really play with his penis but he will hump the shit out of his bed at night and during naptime. He calls this "shakin his tooshie". We've explained that he can only do that in his room and it is a private thing. Sometimes he will get up early from nap and tell me he couldn't sleep and he was just shakin his tooshie.

4. When I was in the hospital after my CS our pastor was visiting. My H had gone home for a bit and returned with AJ during pastors visit. I knew that it was just after nap so I asked if he had a good nap...BIG MISTAKE...he proceeds to tell me "I wasn't sleeping today, just shakin my tooshie. I love shakin my tooshie b/c it tickles my penis" then he has a giggle fit and does a silly dance. I was mortified!! The worst part was that I knew it was coming as soon as I asked about nap but it was like I was watching it happen in slow motion and couldn't stop it.

and all of that is with just 1 boy, i can't imagine what i'm in for the the other 2

)

nlane0723 · June 2014

OMG! I'm dying of laughter in my office. @YankeePeach08‌

I forgot my pump at home and my boobs are hard as rocks right now. FMLx10000. I hope Harper doesn't drown when I put her on the boob tonight.

YankeePeach08 · June 2014

does #4 win me "most awkward post delivery visit"

[Deleted User] · June 2014

The user and all related content has been deleted.

YankeePeach08 · June 2014

OMG is anyone else's LO watching Sofia the first? DS is watching it in the other room and I keep hearing "girls is you have a wild carpet you need to tame it" I ran in to see what it was and jasmine is on there signing some song about taming a wild carpet @-)

theluckiest9 · June 2014

Ugh I can't keep up. I went back to work today. We're crazy busy so it went by fast. Right now Emma is napping in my arms. I'm so so uncomfortable but love the cuddles.

All the penis stories made me laugh and I almost shook her awake. I would seriously not know how to deal with the awkward penis situations.

[Deleted User] · June 2014

The user and all related content has been deleted.

ladyglittersparkles · June 2014

@bandteacher‌ HAPPY BIRTHDAY YO! You all have made me very afraid if we ever have a boy. Getting poopsplosions out of Fallyn's vagina is challenging enough. I can't even imagine balls. I can not wait for the M14 meet up! @kirotea I am so happy with M14 and the donations. Which reminds me, I'd better get my ass in gear and contribute. Could you also pm me the addy for cards? ETA STUPID IPAD FORMATTING

CruiseGirl28 · June 2014

Kacie said:
@bunnyfungo
@kirotea
@tallash
@amdecker1016

whooot whoooot. Count me in.

Me too!! Well December I think is when we'll start. If it happens right away they will be 18 months apart.

Oh and I convinced DH to be Team Green this time. He talked me into finding our last time.

CruiseGirl28 · June 2014

NanaCook said:

Kacie said:
@bunnyfungo
@kirotea
@tallash
@amdecker1016

whooot whoooot. Count me in.
I'll bet we start trying in March. I can't handle a summer pregnancy.

But is anyone terrified #2 won't be a unicorn baby like #1? I mean, I'm sure I'll love future baby a lot, but it would be nice if it could be as mild mannered as current baby.

Also this. My pregnancy, labor and baby were/are all easy. I think my luck has run out. I'm terrified of having another baby, but I want one!!!

amdecker1016 · June 2014

Y'all. I'm teething.

My wisdom tooth is trying to come in and it hurts. Ughh....

amdecker1016 · June 2014

lincbeesmom said:

amdecker1016 said:
Y'all. I'm teething.

My wisdom tooth is trying to come in and it hurts. Ughh....
No fun! I had all four removed 2 years ago. That was terrible.

Yeah i've had one removed. It wasn't terrible, but next time i'm doing the rest. No use going through this every year.

CruiseGirl28 · June 2014

babycaps said:
This is what I have to say about penis: I out my adorable LO down for a nap. I lured my husband into the bedroom. Started having my way with his penis. LO WOKE UP!!!!! Ugh!!!!

This happened to us last night. She was taking a nap, and I happened to glance over and she was eyeballing me. That quickly put an end to it.

Sanibel21 · June 2014

I put LO in a dress for the first time. I must go buy 600 more. So cute!
I also am sick for the first time since becoming a mom. SUUUUUUUCCCKKKKSSSS.

Sanibel21 · June 2014

Also I'm so excited about how much we've collected for kderoy!!

CruiseGirl28 · June 2014

amdecker1016 said:

lincbeesmom said:

amdecker1016 said:
Y'all. I'm teething.

My wisdom tooth is trying to come in and it hurts. Ughh....
No fun! I had all four removed 2 years ago. That was terrible.
Yeah i've had one removed. It wasn't terrible, but next time i'm doing the rest. No use going through this every year.

Ugh when I had my wisdom teeth out I was in bed for 2 weeks. Not even joking, it was waaayy worse than my labor recovery. Ugh.

Guise today my mom, Isla and I went to the Scooper Bowl (an ice cream event in Boston). We each had 10 scoops. I am sooo bakini ready!!

Also, Isla loved the train. She's such a curious and nosy girl.

babylimas · June 2014

@YankeePeach08‌ - I am laughing so hard. I read your post out loud to my H and he thought it was hilarious too. That is amazing.

babylimas · June 2014

@kirotea - I haven't donated yet but will! I'm trying to get my paypal functioning again.

CruiseGirl28 · June 2014

bjd316 said:
@CruiseGirl28‌ am I correct in assuming that you like to cruise? Haha I feel kind of dumb even asking. What is your favorite line? We thought about doing one next year but want to switch it up.

Well I joined the Bump right after my first ever cruise last May. I had no idea what to use as a name, but I was on a cruise kick. I went on my second cruise at the start of second tri. Now we have one booked for April when Isla is one. We are hooked lol. So far we have only cruised Carnival, and they have been awesome. I know the other lines may have more to offer, but they cost more. Right now, cruising is still new to us. Once we get bored with Carnival, we will try a new line.

CruiseGirl28 · June 2014

Ooo also a funny story about user names. When we booked our first cruise, I joined a message board like this one but all about cruising. I didn't think I would really post a lot, and I just made a user name that was my and my husband's first names. Well I ended up posting a lot.

One night on the cruise, we were talking to a couple at dinner and they asked our names. When we said our names, he recognized me from the message board. He was like, "OMG this is a cruise for your 2nd anniversary," and he knew a bunch of random stuff about us. Joe was like WTF??? He kept trying to hang out with us all night, and we kept avoiding him.

pepperedmoth · June 2014

Happy birthday @bandteacher

@bunnyfungo @tallash @babylimas yes, have aaaaaaallll the babies. I'm only bummed I can't join in . . . YET!!! mwahahaha

Also, I can't believe I'm away for a few hours and I miss ALL THE PENIS TALK. How is this??

ladyglittersparkles · June 2014

amdecker1016 said:

lincbeesmom said:

amdecker1016 said:
Y'all. I'm teething.

My wisdom tooth is trying to come in and it hurts. Ughh....
No fun! I had all four removed 2 years ago. That was terrible.
Yeah i've had one removed. It wasn't terrible, but next time i'm doing the rest. No use going through this every year.

This is me as well! I have been teething for two weeks now! And not to mention the grinding. I think I'm going to finally make an appt with the dentist

Sanibel21 · June 2014

bjd316 said:
We had a last minute date night tonight to go see a movie, we saw Blended. It was just what we needed to get out and do something just the 2 of us. It was a great night

Good for you guys!! How was that movie? I want to see it. I love Drew Barrymore and Adam sandler together!

CruiseGirl28 · June 2014

It should be: pump 10:10-10:30, rest til 10:40, pump til 10:50, rest til 11, pump til 11:10. First is 20 minutes followed by all 10 minutes.

ProudMommy030614 · June 2014

Colton keeps going to bed later and later, but we keep starting our routine at 7pm. It's been 4 hours and 17 minutes to get him to sleep tonight. Idk what's up with him but man I get no alone time with mh now.

mrsdahamm · June 2014

Somebody is getting too big for his britches. So we cut the seam so his little piggies can breathe.

ladyglittersparkles · June 2014

@CHPhotoMama‌ I vote D while doing B then proceed to C if it doesn't work and then head for E

amdecker1016 · June 2014

CHPhotoMama said:
DH and I had a pretty good day. We talked out some issues and we're trying to communicate better. I told him tonight would be an ok night for BIL to come over since it's important to him. But HE IS STILL EFFING HERE! He doesn't have the social skills to know that midnight is too late to be in my house. Wwm14 do?

A) text DH and remind him that it's freaking midnight
Tell BIL to go the fk home
C) Flip the breaker that hosts the tv/xbox
D) Sit in front of the tv to breastfeed
E) Go to bed

Someone make me a clicky poll.

B. So much B.

Kewii · June 2014

CHPhotoMama said:

DH and I had a pretty good day. We talked out some issues and we're trying to communicate better. I told him tonight would be an ok night for BIL to come over since it's important to him. But HE IS STILL EFFING HERE! He doesn't have the social skills to know that midnight is too late to be in my house. Wwm14 do? A) text DH and remind him that it's freaking midnight Tell BIL to go the fk home C) Flip the breaker that hosts the tv/xbox D) Sit in front of the tv to breastfeed E) Go to bed Someone make me a clicky poll.

This would piss me off so much. Your DH shouldn't need you to remind him that it's midnight. It should be common sense.

I definitely vote D. I love making people uncomfortable.

mrsdahamm · June 2014

LOL @CHPhotoMama‌ I love you

)

kaking78 · June 2014

bandteacher said:

How has no one brought up dick cheese yet? You know, that white mush that you find on the underside.... Penises are weird.

I called DH into the room to look at some gunk on J's penis. Apparently it was just good old fashioned schmegma (sp?). Or, as he put it, "belly button lint for your dick."

SurpriseAt39 · June 2014

bandteacher said:

How has no one brought up dick cheese yet? You know, that white mush that you find on the underside.... Penises are weird.

You're referring to smegma? It's part of what keeps a penis healthy. On intact (uncircumcised) boys it works its way out from under the foreskin. Nothing scary about it. It's no weirder than things that come out of vaginas.

SurpriseAt39 · June 2014

How can any woman who got pregnant by having sex honestly say they know nothing about penises?? You used one to get pregnant, so you must know a little something. If you have a son, chances are you did a bit of research regarding circumcision. (Not everyone reads up on it, I know. Some ladies leave that decision to their husbands because, 'he has one') My DD seems to know more about penises than a lot of women I know. Whenever she has asked a question about any body parts or processes I have answered them honestly, factually and thoroughly or looked up together what I didn't know. (She's 12 if you can't see tickers). She was at DS2's birth and has been changing boy's diapers for 18 months. Also, they taught all sorts of interesting things about body parts and functions in my elementary school human sexuality classes. Maybe some schools don't go as indepth? Or maybe they've censored stuff over the years? Elementary school was 25+ years ago for me.

babylimas · June 2014

SurpriseAt39 said:
How can any woman who got pregnant by having sex honestly say they know nothing about penises??

You used one to get pregnant, so you must know a little something.

If you have a son, chances are you did a bit of research regarding circumcision. (Not everyone reads up on it, I know. Some ladies leave that decision to their husbands because, 'he has one')

My DD seems to know more about penises than a lot of women I know.
Whenever she has asked a question about any body parts or processes I have answered them honestly, factually and thoroughly or looked up together what I didn't know. (She's 12 if you can't see tickers). She was at DS2's birth and has been changing boy's diapers for 18 months.

Also, they taught all sorts of interesting things about body parts and functions in my elementary school human sexuality classes. Maybe some schools don't go as indepth? Or maybe they've censored stuff over the years? Elementary school was 25+ years ago for me.

Of course I know how they work and the anatomical side of it all. It's still not an organ I look at everyday and have on my own body. I don't have some strong familiarity like my H. Especially with an infant penis which is uncircumcised and webbed (unlike the penis I used to get pregnant). Things don't quite look the same down there.

theluckiest9 · June 2014

My husband is totally intimidated by our daughter's vagina. I came home from work yesterday and when I changed her diaper we had a "you need to clean it better" talk.

SurpriseAt39 · June 2014

FarmBoysWife said:

No.. Dick cheese is like neck cheese but it's a baby penis.

The other day I lifted Ethan's penis and found a healthy stash of cheese. It smelt * soooo* yummy. I then bathed him.

Oh, sorry, my bad.