So frustrated- Feeding on Demand (warning: long post- as usual for me, sorry) :(

NewMrsMacC · June 2014

I am a FTM to a 4 week old, beautiful baby girl! I feed her on demand and have done so since she was just a few days old. She is a super sleepy baby though, and has slept through the night (other than a midnight, and then a 3:30am feeding, then sleeping till 8 or 9am or so). Feeding on demand has always been what works for us as parents, and makes her happy and content. However, the last week and half or so, she wakes up screaming! literally, screaming! Red in the face, real tears in her eyes, screaming! I rush to warm her bottle (I do not breastfeed, she is an exclusive bottle eater) and she takes it, sucking it down like a starving 3rd world child! She eats it so fast she chokes herself and I have to take it from her for a second to let her catch her breath.. then she starts screaming more!

She has reflux that we are trying to get under control (switched to Simulac sensitive from Advanced and are feeding her sitting up- keeping her that way for 30min after she eats).. As a next course of action- if just the switched formula does not work- we are going to try barley cereal in her formula (no rice).. then, meds as a last resort.

My concern and question here is: Since she is such a sleepy baby who can sleep sometimes for 5 hours + is the on demand feeding method hurting her rather than helping her? She is waking up screaming in hunger.. Should I start her on a schedule.. even waking her up after a few hours to feed her?

I mean, it is breaking my heart to hear her screaming in hunger like that, when I am right here with food for her, as much as she wants/needs.I feel as though Im not anticipating her needs very well with this method, and I feel like I am failing her, what can I do???

NewMrsMacC · June 2014

ClaryPax said:

It is normal for a 4 week old baby to go from zero to hungry and screaming in 2 seconds. However with the reflux, you might check with your doctor. Hopefully some of the reflux mommas will have some more advice for you.

Yes, we went to her pedi for the spit up and other signs of reflux, and he gave us the tips on how to feed her.. and suggested cereal next, and meds as a last resort.

neverblushed · June 2014

My DD was a sleepy baby as well, and could sometimes sleep 5 hours at a stretch when she was just a few weeks old. Here are my various thoughts about your situation:

Formula is a little more filling than breast milk, so she might be able to last longer at night than a breastfed baby would at 4 weeks.

Babies typically go through a "hungry" phase and a little growth spurt at around 3 weeks. Having this happen at 4 weeks would not be out of the ordinary, so that may be what you're seeing. If so, things should settle down in a few days.

It's entirely possible that the hard crying she's now doing when she wakes is a result of normal neurological changes and not 100% an indication of hunger. Over the next few months, her night waking and sleeping patterns could change significantly from what they are now. As new moms, we often think all night crying means hunger, when it's sometimes just a sign of normal neurological development that manifests in different waking/sleeping patterns.

I suspect the gulping and emptying the bottle quickly is probably not ideal for a baby with reflux. In your situation, I might try setting my alarm for 3.5 or 4 hours after the last bottle and gently rousing your baby to feed her before she wakes. If she's super sleepy and you just can't wake her (my DD was like this!) you might be able to trick her into eating by triggering the sucking reflex. Gently tickle the fullest part of her lips with the bottle nipple by stroking in an up and down motion. This should cause her to open her mouth. If the bottle nipple hits her soft palate, it should trigger a sucking/eating reflex, even if she doesn't fully wake up. In this way, you may be able to sneak some milk into her before she gets desperate and wakes screaming!

I know things like this are SO scary/agonizing/frustrating, but hang in there. The last 4 weeks may have felt like a lifetime for you. (In a way they have been -- your daughter's lifetime, which you're now experiencing!) But you're both still learning how to do this. You're not going to make a mistake with this; everything you do will either work well or not so well, and you'll adjust accordingly and keep rolling!

NewMrsMacC · June 2014

@neverblushed

Thank you for your post. Setting an alarm is a great idea and I was thinking of doing that, 3.5-4hrs is perfect for my LO. She definitely is hard to wake up and being gentle and rousing her lips with the bottle is what I will try to get her responsive to eating in such a sleepy state. And youre very right, her scarfing her bottle while having reflux has been really hard on her little body, and on mommy's heart- (it breaks every-time I see her so hungry and struggling so much to eat!). It has been so scary for me and I do appreciate you reminding me too that crying is neurological at a certain point and not always a indication that something is wrong.. I just have to keep remembering that she is changing and developing constantly and what she did yesterday may change today.. and it doesnt always mean she is hurt or hungry. I just want to be the best mommy I can for her, I love her more than life it's self and want to make sure she feels safe and happy. It has been hard, but Im going to follow your advice, and will keep everyone updated. Thank you again, I really needed someone to talk too, and to listen too...

*edited non-sence sentences- due to mommy brain

=Lee=B · June 2014

I would feed smaller amounts more often. It is hard on a reflux baby to go long periods with an empty stomach and then filling it full. The full stomach will trigger extra stomach acid to be made to digest. Her empty stomach will be slushing with stomach acid and burning.

The general rule for acid reflux (young or old) is small meals more often.

She may not be gulping it down due to hunger but to ease the discomfort.

=Lee=B · June 2014

Have some bottles prefilled with water and formula pre-measured at your bedside. Pour the formula into the bottle in your room, shake as you walk down the hall and serve. It'll be room temp but takes less than 30sec.

NewMrsMacC · June 2014

=Lee=B said:

I would feed smaller amounts more often. It is hard on a reflux baby to go long periods with an empty stomach and then filling it full. The full stomach will trigger extra stomach acid to be made to digest. Her empty stomach will be slushing with stomach acid and burning.
The general rule for acid reflux (young or old) is small meals more often.
She may not be gulping it down due to hunger but to ease the discomfort.

This ^ makes a lot of sense, and is my new plan of attack.. feeding every three hours or so, and giving her a bit less food. I have been doing that today and she did quite well. She seemed a lot more comfortable and was eating slower for sure. I am hoping that doing these techneques works and I dont have to start putting cereal in her bottle or put her on medication, of course I am willing to do those things as well, if it's what she needs.... but Im keeping my fingers crossed that doing the things we have discussed helps and cereal or meds aren't needed. Thank you for your reply and for your help!!

opheliainwaders · June 2014

Seconding PP's advice re: eating smaller amounts more often. Also, FWIW, I'd get a second opinion re: cereal in the bottle.

pixieprincss · June 2014

If she has reflux, natural methods like infant probiotics and chiropractic adjustment may help. Also, some FF families need to try many different formulas before finding a fit (like some babies are sensitive to dairy or soy).

=Lee=B · June 2014

I would also recommend considering the meds if your baby is exhibiting pain. I hated having to do the meds but seeing the difference made me know it was the right decision. We started at 7weeks. She had gone from a laid back easy going baby to a baby that was screaming in pain. She would projectile vomit 4-5feet. If you touched her back she would arch and freak out in fear that we'd burp her...which would push the acid back up. There were just so many symptoms that made it clear she was in a great deal of pain and discomfort. All these symptoms went away with the zantac, they would return when she needed a dosage adjustment then return to her carefree self. There are risks and downsides to the meds...but we could see the benefits so it was worthwhile for us.

Keep an open mind. As well, I would avoid the cereal in bottle and opt for the meds. If you do NEED to thicken up her formula buy the formula that is sold thickened rather than adding your own cereal. It's not ideal but it is prepared for babies that need it thickened and I believe their is less risk involved. All the cereal does is make the formula thicker so it is less sloshy in the tummy. This is NOT a real solution for acid reflux it just helps with ONE of the symptoms of a greater problem.

musicalmama5 · June 2014

I am actually quite shocked that your pedi suggested cereal for a 4 week old baby... I don't really have any advice (sorry) because I have no experience with reflux, but I do know that 4 weeks is waaaaay to early for cereal.

PrimRoseMama · June 2014

Avoid the cereal of any type. You will just cause gut pain. Their bellies/intestines are not build for solids at this age. You'd be better off with medication.

As others have said, smaller amounts more frequently. Some BF moms even have to wake to eat at 4 weeks. How is your baby's weight gain?

My bet is that baby is gulping to soothe belly/esophagus pain-- not necessarily just because she is hungry.

NewMrsMacC · June 2014

PrimRoseMama said:

Avoid the cereal of any type. You will just cause gut pain. Their bellies/intestines are not build for solids at this age. You'd be better off with medication. As others have said, smaller amounts more frequently. Some BF moms even have to wake to eat at 4 weeks. How is your baby's weight gain? My bet is that baby is gulping to soothe belly/esophagus pain-- not necessarily just because she is hungry.

Her weight gain is on target, and I have started doing the more frequent feedings, and less at a time.. it seems to have made a noticeable difference. I never thought that perhaps she was eating to soothe pain in her tummy or esophagus.. but that does make sense. Poor thing

So frustrated- Feeding on Demand (warning: long post- as usual for me, sorry) :(

Re: So frustrated- Feeding on Demand (warning: long post- as usual for me, sorry) :(

LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:

Choose Another Board

Search Boards