Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
lexusolsen
member
Re: PAL questions
So sorry that you are going through this
I have my days where I am just angry and some days I am fine... so no need to state why you made your post. We all understand where you are coming from and most have even felt the same feelings that you have.
As for asking your friend not to bring her baby... completely understandable and no you are not crazy you just want to keep all "triggers" away that day to celebrate your other child. There is a time and a place when you will feel comfortable meeting their new baby but right now its just not right for you. They should totally understand... don't feel bad about it.
Hugs to you... the next few weeks in June are going to be sucky for us both. Hang in there
My best friend is my angel's godmom, and she was pregnant with my godson when I lost Devon. I asked her to stay away until I was ready to see her and my godbaby. It took me a good 6-7 months before I was ready to hold him/see him, and she understood. You are not crazy for asking her to leave her son at home, and I hope that she understands and not take offense. People who haven't experienced a loss don't get what it's like to be in our shoes and are sometimes offended that we don't want to see babies right away...it sucks.
My son has recently started mentioning a little brother, and he was 3 1/2 when we lost Devon. We recently had our rainbow baby, so I'm wondering if this new baby is starting to make him remember that I was pregnant before this, too...that baby just didn't come home with us. It's so hard. I'm so sorry you're dealing with all of this. Hang in there.
This other person we were already distancing ourselves from for various reasons. Now this.
Ugh, I'm so sorry about the insensitive comment. It really sounds like it is a good decision to keep your distance from them. Definitely do what you need to do to protect yourself during the healing process. Unfortunately, this is a time when you really find out who your friends are.
There is nothing wrong with being focused on you and your family right now. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this.
3rd pregnancy -- 1st baby -- praying for a rainbow
#1 EDD 5/2014 -- MMC 10weeks ~~ #2 EDD 10/2014 -- Our baby girl, born sleeping 17weeks ~~ #3 EDD 8/2015
DS1 - 7/2011, DD 12/2012, DS2 - 4/2014, MMC - 12/2015
I appreciate your optimism. This is a friendship that we have barely maintained because she is dd's godmother and we are her ds1's godparents. We only see them in passing at church and at birthday parties.
She was offended that I asked her to leave the baby behind but reluctantly agreed. Since dh declined the invitation, a friend of her's has fb messaged me telling me that she had a miscarriage three years ago and my baby would want me to live. And see other babies. She just isn't going to let this go. We bought a gift and dropped it off and we will continue to give him gifts as we would all our other godchildren.
Honestly, we have other friends with a baby the same age (a girl) and it is difficult but that friendship is worth pushing my boundaries for . I don't want to lose that friendship. This one though, we are ready to let go of.