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Late Term and Child Loss
So confused, making the right choice. 21 week miscarriage.
I am 21 weeks pregnant with a beautiful baby girl. I went for a routine check up this week and the hospital told me they couldn't find her heart beat. I am so heartbroken, I can't eat, sleep or think straight. I went for another scan just hoping a praying that they were wrong, but sadly she has passed. It doesn't feel real, I feel like I'm stuck in a nightmare and I just want someone to wake me up already. I went to talk to the doctor today, to tell me my options. I have decided to wait for labour to come on naturally, I don't know if this is the right choice. I don't want to be induced knowing that I could be waiting at the hospital for days on the labour ward with all the other mums having their beautiful healthy babies, when I know mine will never take her first breath. I have had 4 other pregnancy, I have 3 amazing happy healthy kids and I lost twins at 31 weeks in 2011. I have had c-section with all 4 pregnancy and have no idea what labour feels like, I'm scared and don't know what to expect. This time last week I was the happiest I had ever been, it took me nearly 3 years to know what true happiness felt like again after I lost the twins. I suffered server depression, anxiety and even attempted suicide. I had a gorgeous little girl in 2013, my pregnancy with her was very complicated and I found that I couldn't get excited about the pregnancy cause I was so scared of losing her after the twins. When I fell pregnant this time I was so excited, I was picturing our future, I was enjoying getting fat, I felt like I had so much to look forward to. I now feel like my world has been turned upside down again, i have so much heart ache in front of me, delivering the baby, making funeral arrangements. Feel like I'm back at square one, I have an amazing supportive partner,. Who I can't be thankful enough for. He supports all my decisions as he just wants me to be happy but I think he wishes that I chose to be induced. Any advice would be great
RIP my beautiful angel Ellie xxx
RIP my beautiful angel Ellie xxx
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Re: So confused, making the right choice. 21 week miscarriage.
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BFP# 1 7/7/12 Beautiful DD born still at 36 weeks 5 days on 3/2/13
Diagnosed with PCOS in 2005. Started Metformin July 2013
Please be our rainbow!!
**All AL Welcome**
Married August 20th, 2005 to the love of my life.
1st BFP August 6th, 2010. Missed MC discovered at 13 weeks.
2nd BFP January 5th, 2011. Beautiful Harper born September 28th, 2011.
3rd BFP March 15th, 2013. Treated with methotrexate for ectopic pg at 7 weeks.
4th BFP August 2nd, 2013. Sweet Micah born sleeping at 21 weeks with full T13. 5th BFP July 1st, 2014. Praying for a healthy, full term rainbow!
BFP #1 March 24, 2010; missed m/c May 26, 2010 @ 12w 4d; D&E May 28, 2010
BFP #2 Oct 20, 2010; My little boy was born on July 5, 2011
BFP #3 April 30, 2013; Chemical Pg May 5, 2013
BFP #4 Aug 22, 2013; It's a boy. Loss discovered at 24 weeks on Jan 15, 2014 (cause CMV virus)
BFP #5 April 6, 2014; missed m/c May 15, 2014 @ 9 weeks; Misoprostol May 15, 2014; D&C May June 3, 2014
NTNP 2009-2012 TTC since 2012:
Jack has handpicked his sibling up there
My blog about IF and loss ... Kate's IF Blog
Brooke Elizabeth born Feb 17, 2013 grew wings May 9, 2013 @ 11 weeks & 4 days old from SIDS
I am so so sorry for the loss of your twins, and your sweet baby girl Ellie.
If you feel the right choice is to wait for labor to begin naturally, then that is the right choice. Your choice is all that matters in all of this.
I chose to be induced in order to have a little more control over the devastating process, and to have the best chance to see and hold our baby. I also was in utter shock and couldn't imagine going home and waiting.
You are a strong mama, even though you may not feel that way right now. Please know that you are not alone, none of this is your fault, and whether you decide to wait for labor to begin on it's own or decide to medically induce, you will be doing the right thing for you and your family.
Many thoughts for strength and healing in the days and weeks ahead.
TTC since 2008
Dh:34, no issues. Me:31, Endo, slightly hypothyroid, deformed ovary, paracentric inversion.
4 Gonal-F, Cetrotide, HcG, Crinone +TI cycles= all BFN
Lap in 2012 to remove large unresolving cyst discovered endo and double lobed ovary.
6 Gonal-F, Cetrotide, HcG, Crinone IUI cycles= All BFN,
1st IVF w/ICSI- June '13 Antagonist: Gonal-F, Menopur, Ganirelix, HcG, Estradiol, Crinone= 7 retrieved, 4 mature, 1 unfertilized, 2 abnormally fertilized, 1 normally fertilized. 2DT of only embryo and our miracle BFP.
Our beloved baby boy was born sleeping Oct. 13, 2013 due to pROM/IC/Uterine infection.
2nd IVF w/ICSI- Feb. '14 EPP/lupron/antagonist: Estrace, lupron, HGH, Gonal-F, Menopur, HcG, PIO, lovenox, doxy/dex.=21 retrieved, 16 mature, 15 fertilized!! 5dt of 1 blast/ 6 frozen. BFP! Beta 1 9dp5dt:83.9 Beta 2: 11dp5dt: 145.2 Beta 3 14dp5dt: 497 Please be our sticky rainbow baby!
I am so so sorry for the loss of your Ellie and your twin babies. My heart breaks for you.
Whatever you decide is the right decision for you. You can do this. Be gentle with yourself, take it moment by moment.
So many ((hugs)).
I replied to your post on the miscarriage board. I also chose to be induced just so I could start the process of healing. Whatever you chose will be the the right decision. If you would like to talk I am here.