05/29 Unpopular Opinion Thursday

Csltdk · May 2014

ksspiff said:
I cannot get myself to care about lost/loose dogs.

It doesn't help when the neighborhood Facebook page posts about them EVERY DAY.

I had a whole post written about this but you aren't worth the words.

Post It. Added

LenaLove · May 2014

EleanorKr said:

I think it's silly to give your child a name and already decide beforehand on what their nickname will be. If you like the nickname so much, name them that. Otherwise, let it happen naturally.

I think that naming your child a nickname is limiting and silly. I want my kids to have a full name to use in formal situations, resumes etc., but H and I are totally nickname people. We chose full names that we love, and that have nicknames we like too. I also think it is important to consider possible nicknames in case there is something you hate.

[Deleted User] · May 2014

The user and all related content has been deleted.

iris427 · May 2014

Re: birth plans. My hospital actually includes birth plan in their list of things you should bring to the hospital, and they mention that your nurse will ask you about your plan when you're admitted. I thought that was interesting given how we always hear about how nurses will laugh at your birth plan, hospitals hate them, etc.

That said, I'm not really writing one up. My plan is pretty simple: VBAC if possible, RCS if not.

lindslalala · May 2014

I named DS a nickname because we felt it was strong enough to stand on it's own (not something like Mikey or Tommy). I think it really depends on the name.

iris427 · May 2014

SarahVol131 said:

Luckynumbers81 said:

Oh, one more that I'm fairly certain is pretty unpopular.

I'm a huge fan of OB hospitalist programs, I see real benefit to having a doc that works only at the hospital to provide care during labor and catch babies, but it seems like most others don't like that the doctor providing the prenatal care in the office won't necessarily be the one delivering.

The hospital where I am delivering has one of these and I found it comforting. It's made pretty clear that unless you schedule either and induction or a c-section whatever OB from the practice is on call is going to be catching your baby and if she is tied up it'll be the hospitalist.
This is also a plus for moms hoping for a VBAC. It means the hospital is more equipped in the event of a uterine rupture.

I think hospitalist/laborist programs sound really beneficial and like you said, definitely a plus for VBAC moms. But personally I still prefer the continuity of care of having the same doctor for prenatal care and delivery. We've built up a relationship and I trust her.

But she's going on vacation when I am 38 weeks, so she may not be there if I go early, and then I'll have an on call doctor.

[Deleted User] · May 2014

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[Deleted User] · May 2014

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Salsera29 · May 2014

My UO is that I really don't understand what seems to be a pervasive distrust of doctors around here. Ive heard so many times that people want to make their own decisions and not be "pressured" into things. If my doctor is "pressuring" me into something (c/s, induction, whatever), I truly believe that it's because it's in my and my baby's best interest. HE went to medical school, and through residency, and took 3 board exams, not me.

Maybe there are a couple assholes out there who would actually let their own convenience dictate patient care, but in my experience that would be a very small exception to the rule.

brooklynesque · May 2014

iris427 said:
Re: birth plans. My hospital actually includes birth plan in their list of things you should bring to the hospital, and they mention that your nurse will ask you about your plan when you're admitted. I thought that was interesting given how we always hear about how nurses will laugh at your birth plan, hospitals hate them, etc.

That said, I'm not really writing one up. My plan is pretty simple: VBAC if possible, RCS if not.

My hospital also encourages birth plans and has one online where you can check off your choices -- such as whether you want to be asked if you want pain meds or whether they should only be offered if you ask.

My OU is that I think just showing up at the hospital without having done some research, planning, and preparation for the kind of birth you want is totally crazy. I don't understand why some people do more research and preparation to buy a new car than to birth their child.

[Deleted User] · May 2014

The user and all related content has been deleted.

jnnfrrose6 · May 2014

Luckynumbers81 said:

Salsera29 said:

My UO is that I really don't understand what seems to be a pervasive distrust of doctors around here. Ive heard so many times that people want to make their own decisions and not be "pressured" into things. If my doctor is "pressuring" me into something (c/s, induction, whatever), I truly believe that it's because it's in my and my baby's best interest. HE went to medical school, and through residency, and took 3 board exams, not me.

Maybe there are a couple assholes out there who would actually let their own convenience dictate patient care, but in my experience that would be a very small exception to the rule.

YES!

And might I add has YEARS of experience that leads to a whole clinical gestalt, for lack of a better word, that I couldn't possibly have access too.

Devil's advocate, but to the bolded, someone's got to come in at the bottom of the class. Just because they're a doctor doesn't mean they know everything. Sure, you should trust your doctor, but you should also do enough research to be able to ask questions and know what your options may be and not just follow them blindly.

Paging Dr. Nick

Skeemer · May 2014

jessa8907 said:

I finally thought of a UO.

I hate it when people call it OU.

It stands for Unpopular Opinion. If you reverse the letters it stands for Opinion Unpopular. That's not how English works.

Next Thursday's thread will be called "Opinion Unpopular Thursday!"

:P

ADC1979 · May 2014

My UO is also about names...but for me, it's "all the kids need to start with the same letter" name themes. Drives. Me. Crazy.

Main reason for this is DH's family. He and his 2 brothers all begin with the letter K. Now, I know his brothers and love 'em, but I always have to think hard about which K-brother I'm referring to. One of the brothers named all 4 of their children starting with the letter C.

DH (jokingly) asked if we wanted to keep his family's theme up. I totally vetoed that idea. Hopefully no in-laws will be disappointed, but yeah--that's so not happening.

Skeemer · May 2014

ADC1979 said:

My UO is also about names...but for me, it's "all the kids need to start with the same letter" name themes. Drives. Me. Crazy.

I completely agree!

All our kids names have a J name but not on purpose. Also 2 of the J names are middle names. But I would go CRAZY if I did a J theme & called everyone by it.

Big+Lil · May 2014

I always read OU as either Oklahoma fans or Opíníon Un Populàr using The Most Interesting Man voice.

ksuRN09 · May 2014

Regarding nicknames, both my husband and I go by nicknames and baby girl probably will, too. I like the idea of having a more "formal" name for work and such. And as someone mentioned, if the kid doesn't like the nickname when they're older, they can change it. I went by Katie when I was younger but liked Kate better as I got older so started introducing myself as such and it stuck. NBD.

mary1217 · May 2014

ghostof5letters said:

TKT17 said:

I hate my Honda CRV. It's like the most popular small SUV in the country and I despise it.
This! I had one for three years and the whole time I felt like I was just supposed to looove this not-quite-SUV because they are so popular. But I really hated it. So I traded it in
Any specific reasons? I love my Santa Fe but it's getting older and DH (who is strictly team Honda) really wants to replace it with a CRV.

Hmmmm let me count the ways...

Also, I hate my dealership so that adds to my annoyance

The headlights suck. Seeing at night is really horrible and I dread night driving in the thing. Test drive at night.

The tires are incredibly expensive ($150 or $170 per tire before they charge you all of the fees associated with installing and disposing of your other ones.) and they wear out tires really fast (I got 2 full sets within 15 months). Also, the road noise via the tires (especially the continentals and bridgestones they recommend) is incredibly loud. If you're not a fan of white noise, this will drive you insane.

My 2010 Honda already had battery problems leaving me stranded 4 times in 3 years (including when the car was 8 days old).

I didn't feel like I got any bells and whistles (other than a moon roof) for the $28,000 I paid for the thing.

I typically only get 22-24mpg - I'd like that to be higher.

Just this week, my entire air condition system had to be 100% replaced. Luckily there was a class action lawsuit brought on by other owners so they fixed this for free. Otherwise, it would have been about $2200.

They charged me $110 to glue my rearview mirror on and it fell off 3 more times before I went ape shit and they brought in a glass specialist.

Getting anything that falls under the driver's seat (like your cell phone or a pen) via the side of the door is damn near impossible (so is cleaning under it).

ETA: Just last week my dad bought the new Santa Fe (traded in his 2003 CRV for it). His is fully loaded and it's absolutely incredible. If I didn't own my car outright and love not having a car payment, I'd buy that sucker in a heartbeat. It's amazing in comparison to the CRV in my opinion.

I have a 2007 CRV that we bought certified 2 years ago. While I like my car in the past 6 months it has had a ton of electrical problems which of course are not covered under the certified warranty that it came with.

We replaced the starter in November, the alternator in March and now the locks are re-locking every time I go from pressing on the brake to accelerating. Its driving me BSC in stop and go traffic.

I'm probably just going to end up in another CR-V though because the KBB value for a trade is about the same as what we owe so we will probably get the most for it at a honda dealership.

middleschoolmommy · May 2014

ghostof5letters said:

amlonica said:

My DHs name is Greg. Just Greg. Not Gregory, not Gregg. Its annoying as hell. Everytime he fills out an official form they say 'No no no no! The name on your BIRTH CERTIFICATE' and he has to tell them to calm down. Haha. Im very against naming someone a nickname because of how annoying it is for him.

It seems to me like there is a trend (especially here on TB) that the nicknames have NOTHING to do with the given name.

If you people love a name so much that you intend on calling your child that daily, why the hell are you naming your child something completely different name that has nothing to do with it? It makes no sense.

I give a pass to multigenerational names and you need to identify your child outside of their given name because 35 people in the family all have the same name.

My 2 best friends are married and expecting their first in Sept. The guy is Antonio M, IV. So, if this baby is a boy, it will be Antonio M, V. The FIFTH! ALL of them, since Jr, have gone by nicknames. My friend, the mom, has no idea what nickname to use for this LO, if needed. No middle name.

I'm hoping it's a girl.

kwh33ls · May 2014

I guess technically our LO's name is a nickname (Sadie), but we love it. I already call her Sadie bug...I think it fits her personality thus far. I tend to come up with silly names like that anyway...our dog is Clancey Pants or Puggleston McGillicuddy. Which are both ridiculous.

mary1217 · May 2014

eadams08 said:

ghostof5letters said:

amlonica said:

My DHs name is Greg. Just Greg. Not Gregory, not Gregg. Its annoying as hell. Everytime he fills out an official form they say 'No no no no! The name on your BIRTH CERTIFICATE' and he has to tell them to calm down. Haha. Im very against naming someone a nickname because of how annoying it is for him.

It seems to me like there is a trend (especially here on TB) that the nicknames have NOTHING to do with the given name.

If you people love a name so much that you intend on calling your child that daily, why the hell are you naming your child something completely different name that has nothing to do with it? It makes no sense.

I give a pass to multigenerational names and you need to identify your child outside of their given name because 35 people in the family all have the same name.

My 2 best friends are married and expecting their first in Sept. The guy is Antonio M, IV. So, if this baby is a boy, it will be Antonio M, V. The FIFTH! ALL of them, since Jr, have gone by nicknames. My friend, the mom, has no idea what nickname to use for this LO, if needed. No middle name.
I'm hoping it's a girl.

This! My husband is the 4th. His dad had the nickname of Tab (after some famous actor at the time he was born that his mother wanted to name him) so my husband growing up (and any time we go visit his family in MA) is known as TJ for Tab, Jr.

Neither go by those nicknames now. Its really confusing when my husband and his father are together.

Let's just say I'm really glad I am having a girl!

Big+Lil · May 2014

So if you have 2 middle names how do you monogram? Pearl clutch.

jnnfrrose6 · May 2014

eadams08 said:

ghostof5letters said:

amlonica said:

My DHs name is Greg. Just Greg. Not Gregory, not Gregg. Its annoying as hell. Everytime he fills out an official form they say 'No no no no! The name on your BIRTH CERTIFICATE' and he has to tell them to calm down. Haha. Im very against naming someone a nickname because of how annoying it is for him.

It seems to me like there is a trend (especially here on TB) that the nicknames have NOTHING to do with the given name.

If you people love a name so much that you intend on calling your child that daily, why the hell are you naming your child something completely different name that has nothing to do with it? It makes no sense.

I give a pass to multigenerational names and you need to identify your child outside of their given name because 35 people in the family all have the same name.

My 2 best friends are married and expecting their first in Sept. The guy is Antonio M, IV. So, if this baby is a boy, it will be Antonio M, V. The FIFTH! ALL of them, since Jr, have gone by nicknames. My friend, the mom, has no idea what nickname to use for this LO, if needed. No middle name.
I'm hoping it's a girl.

Nickname for a V is usually Quint.

avacek1 · May 2014

Big+Lil said:
So if you have 2 middle names how do you monogram? Pearl clutch.

In my situation (Anna Marie Middle Last), I always left out the "Middle" when monograming. So I use ALM..

Jbosarge85 · May 2014

ADC1979 said:
My UO is also about names...but for me, it's "all the kids need to start with the same letter" name themes. Drives. Me. Crazy.

Main reason for this is DH's family. He and his 2 brothers all begin with the letter K. Now, I know his brothers and love 'em, but I always have to think hard about which K-brother I'm referring to. One of the brothers named all 4 of their children starting with the letter C.

DH (jokingly) asked if we wanted to keep his family's theme up. I totally vetoed that idea. Hopefully no in-laws will be disappointed, but yeah--that's so not happening.

We are doing all As but it wasn't planned, all the names we liked and agreed on started with As.

Big+Lil · May 2014

@MSUDucks‌ I kept refusing Grace as a middle name for my daughter because with the traditional monogram (where the last initial is in the middle) her monogram is LRG.

I gave in, and we just don't use that style of monogram.

abchittam · May 2014

ksuRN09 said:
Regarding nicknames, both my husband and I go by nicknames and baby girl probably will, too. I like the idea of having a more "formal" name for work and such. And as someone mentioned, if the kid doesn't like the nickname when they're older, they can change it. I went by Katie when I was younger but liked Kate better as I got older so started introducing myself as such and it stuck. NBD.

I'll jump in on this. These were my thoughts exactly. I really wanted a "double name" as they are popular in the south. DH and I both really like Lexi Kate, but it sounds a lot like a nickname to me. Plus, like you said, I want her to be able to have a more sophisticated name when she gets older (if she wants it). Her legal name will be Alexis Kathryn. I know that a lot of people side eye me for this, but I'm standing my ground on this one. We had way too much trouble agreeing on something between the two of us; I'm not about to try to please the rest of the world. I'm not throwing in a bunch of random y's making it difficult to spell or naming my kid apple/banana/orange, so what's it to ya? Naming a kid is hard.

iris427 · May 2014

brooklynesque said:

Re: birth plans. My hospital actually includes birth plan in their list of things you should bring to the hospital, and they mention that your nurse will ask you about your plan when you're admitted. I thought that was interesting given how we always hear about how nurses will laugh at your birth plan, hospitals hate them, etc.

That said, I'm not really writing one up. My plan is pretty simple: VBAC if possible, RCS if not.
My hospital also encourages birth plans and has one online where you can check off your choices -- such as whether you want to be asked if you want pain meds or whether they should only be offered if you ask. My OU is that I think just showing up at the hospital without having done some research, planning, and preparation for the kind of birth you want is totally crazy. I don't understand why some people do more research and preparation to buy a new car than to birth their child.

Probably because they figure the doctor went to medical school and has delivered thousands of babies and knows way more than they ever will. I don't think there's anything wrong with people going in and just trusting their physicians to know what is best. It's just a different approach.

TwizzyG · May 2014

A huge THANK YOU to those of you standing up for medical professionals (especially doctors) in regards to birth plans. As a nurse in L&D, I don't mind at all when a patient comes in with a birth plan. Awesome, go for it. In fact, standard practice (in our hospital anyway) usually goes along with what moms typically ask for anyway (immediate skin to skin, no episiotomy (duh...who WANTS one of those?), baby stays in the room, etc.).
But, please be flexible and strongly consider the advice that the medical staff is trying to give you. We have had patients tell us we are trying to "scare them into submission" when we tell them they need a medication to lower their 200/100 blood pressure or they could seize or have a stroke. We aren't trying to SCARE you, we are being realistic and have SEEN it happen before! Is something bad definitely going to happen if you don't take that med? No. Is it worth risking a stroke and you not being able to use one of your arms to care for your newborn? Not in my opinion.
If you aren't going to let the medical team care for you and your baby...why even go to the friggin hospital???

I will say this is a rare occurrence as most patients with birth plans are sensible enough to know that they might need to be flexible...and these are also the ones who have a much more satisfying L&D experience. I would hate it if my patient was only focusing on her plan not being followed 100% if something came up rather than the new adorable baby she just brought into the world.

Lhalliburton · May 2014

1. My 3.5 yr old has shown every single "ready to use the potty" sign since she turned two. I've tried every method and bribe known, taking breaks between them and she still won't use the potty. I gave up for the time being until after the baby is born. If you'd like to try, be my guest.

2. Good for you ladies, trusting your doctors. Feeling that trust is wonderful and I hope it gives you a level of comfort. My distrust comes from being lied to repeatedly. I trust them (to an extent) until they give me a reason not to. I started with an OB at the beginning of this pregnancy (highly recommended by 3 friends) who told me I could attempt a vbac. Fast forward 9 weeks, and I found out that the only hospital he delivers at doesn't allow vbacs, so I had to transfer to another practice.

My UO: I hate when parents threaten their kids with things they won't follow through on, or just give in.
Example: "no you cannot have a drink of my pop". Until you ask 12 times and then you can have some.

acciovino · May 2014

Oh hi everyone! It's just me, late to the party as usual!
My first UO is that pregnant women (usually FTMs) who don't do ANYTHING and make their SOs wait on them hand a foot are ridiculous. I have a friend like this and I feel awful for her DH. Her excuse for not doing anything is that she's pregnant. Yes, you're pregnant, not an invalid.
I actually think it's healthy to move your ass and act like a normal functioning adult when pregnant. I think this pregnancy has been actually better for me because I've had a toddler to chase and I don't get to be lazy.
My second UO is that I lost 5 lbs between my last appointment and yesterday so I don't feel guilty eating a Kit Kat every afternoon

Jbosarge85 · May 2014

@Caitlinrj‌ I have gained too much weight this pregnancy and I don't feel guilty having a bag of mini kit kats in my fridge that I take a couple of a few times a day. Kit kats are too good to feel guilty about.

brooklynesque · May 2014

I have no idea why some ladies here are equating birth plans and preparation with not trusting the doctor. My doc is great, and if she tells me I need to do something for my health or the health if my baby, I will. That doesn't mean (in my case) that I want to be pumped full of pain meds (for example) if I can avoid it. Those meds are NOT for my health or that of my baby and demonstrably prolong labor, among other things. (This is not an anti doctor stance -- look at the new ACOG recs re: length of labor that acknowledge this.)

Honestly, if your doc prefers you show up without having learned labor coping techniques and without knowing what to expect and having some idea of what you want s/he is probably not a very good doc. Not everyone wants to go unmedicated, but if that's your birth plan (for example) there is usually no medical reason for the doc or hospital to discourage it. Don't think for a moment I'm not 100% concerned wih the health of my baby. I'm doing what my research suggests is *best* for the health of my baby. And it does entail 8 weeks of birth classes, practice at home, and a birth plan.

ksspiff · May 2014

jessa8907 said:

Csltdk said:

I cannot get myself to care about lost/loose dogs. It doesn't help when the neighborhood Facebook page posts about them EVERY DAY.
I had a whole post written about this but you aren't worth the words. Post It. Added

Don't worry, she'll be back next week with the exact same opinion to share.

Do I really do it every week? ugh. I'll try to do better. Let me get it all out and then I won't mention it again.
I will not be more sympathetic to Bear the German Shepherd that gets out regularly and comes with the disclaimer "He's a really sweet dog, but he will trap you in your car and scratch up the paint job. But don't open the door, because then he'll jump in and refuse to get out."

Skeemer · May 2014

ksspiff said:

jessa8907 said:

Csltdk said:

I cannot get myself to care about lost/loose dogs. It doesn't help when the neighborhood Facebook page posts about them EVERY DAY.
I had a whole post written about this but you aren't worth the words. Post It. Added

Don't worry, she'll be back next week with the exact same opinion to share.

Do I really do it every week? ugh. I'll try to do better. Let me get it all out and then I won't mention it again.
I will not be more sympathetic to Bear the German Shepherd that gets out regularly and comes with the disclaimer "He's a really sweet dog, but he will trap you in your car and scratch up the paint job. But don't open the door, because then he'll jump in and refuse to get out."

Not everyone's pet is like your example. Unless you live in a Jumanji neighborhood.

MrsKubley · May 2014

@Linzlu214 If ours is a boy it will be Henry, but I don't care for Hank. Shall we just send the people who won't play along to each other?

TugboatSheila · May 2014

I can't remember who posted this but I finally thought of an UO becuase I know so many people who are really affected by Titanic, the movie.

I have never shed a single tear during Titanic.

But Lilo and Stitch? Sobbed and sobbed.

MrsKubley · May 2014

I had a friend call me a "heartless wench" because I didn't cry at Titanic lol. Sorry, he would have for on the door.

March of the Pengiuns - sobfest

Wrights22 · May 2014

iris427 said:

bullybutt said:
If your near 3 year old talks about his own shit in his diaper, it's time to start potty training. That's your problem, not his!
Yes, because potty training is something super easy that works the same for all kids.

This. You can't force your kid to go on the potty. Yes... You can train, an beg and plead, and exhaust every resource.... Doesn't mean the kid is going to do it until they're ready. My 3 yo pees on the potty fine, but refuses to poo. I know someone who's kid had to go to the ER bc they took his pull-ups away - and he held his poo so long he became so constipated it compacted.

MamaSchatzy85 · June 2014

Skeemer said:

EleanorKr said:

I think it's silly to give your child a name and already decide beforehand on what their nickname will be. If you like the nickname so much, name them that. Otherwise, let it happen naturally.

There was a woman here or else on another forum that I was stalking that was determined to call her son "Patch" & was trying to figure out a name to go with it to justify Patch. Needless to say, she got totally PWND by everyone bc it was so stupid.
@Jessa8907 calling her child E.J. is different than a nickname to me though. Initials to me are a name if it goes along with the child's name.
People have already started trying to call DD (Eve) by other names & it's ticking me off. I'm in the "Let it come natural camp" when it comes to that. Her name isn't Evie. It's just Eve. I hope people learn it quick too.

UGH!!! I'm having the same problem... DH and I just happen to share names with the characters from "Santa Clause is Coming to Town" (the old claymation one) And my aunt and cousin INSIST on calling our future son "Topper" (after the little penguin) It is driving me nuts because not only does it sound effing dumb, but that's ALL they will call him, even though we have a real name picked out. I just want to scream!

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