I Hate my Dr. and Where I live. ( LONG VENT) — The Bump
LGBT Parenting

I Hate my Dr. and Where I live. ( LONG VENT)

Ok, I dont know if yall remember me telling you about my doctor but a while back he told me to sleep with some random stranger so my wife and i could have a baby. Who says that to a person. Ok now i need to figure out how to get the sperm bank to send the sperm to my house so we can try at home ICI. He refuses to sign the papers and to make matters worse I cant get anyone to sign off on it. I have been told i have lost my mind by multiple doctors because its to dangerous. I have tried seeing 6 different doctors around West Texas and they wont do it. They also keep asking to talk to my husband about what he can do. When i say my wife they get stupid with me. Im at a lost for what to do next and we really want to try at home right now. We really want a baby. Ok vent over thanks for listening

Re: I Hate my Dr. and Where I live. ( LONG VENT)

  • This really stinks!
    Are there any midwives around? Even if they can't sign off on the sperm themselves, maybe they can recommend someone.
    Also I know you're planning ICIs at home but with the doctors balking at that would one of them possibly sign off on you doing an IVI, where turkey baster style you just squirt it in there? I don't know how they could possibly claim that that was dangerous.
    Anyway, good luck! I'm so sorry you have to deal with this!
    ****loss discussed*****

    We're queer. I'm 33, have severe stage 4 endo, and had both fallopian tubes removed. My love ("Manada" on the boards, 32) was diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve. We did Partner IVF (my eggs, her uterus). We lost our twins Tavin and Casey at 21 weeks gestation.

    Our IUIs
    with @Manada: IUI# 1-7 (December 2012- September 2013) all BFN. Tried natural, femara, clomid, puregon/follistim, clomid and menopur combo, both the ovidrel and HCG triggers.

    Our IVFs:
    IVF #1 my eggs November/December 2013: Cancelled IVF due to poor response

    IVF #2 my eggs/Manada's uterus January/February 2014
    BCPs and lupron overlap Stimmed: 1/22-2/2: Bravelle and Menopur (dosage ranged from B300 and M150 to B375 and M150 to B300 and M225)
    2/4 retrieved 10 eggs. Endo was much worse than expected. Only 3 eggs fertilized; February 7 transferred two day 3 embryos, froze one. All great condition.
    BFP eve of 6dp3dt; Beta 1 (11dp3dt): 110; Beta 2 (13dp3dt): 175; Beta 3 (15dp3dt): 348; Beta 4 (19dp3dt): 2222; Beta 5 (21dp3dt): 4255
    1st ultrasound (3/6  6w 1d): TWINS!!!! Twin A measuring 6w1d with a heartbeat of 118bpm. Twin B measuring 6w0d with a heartbeat of 113bpm. 

    ***July 18, 2014 we lost our beautiful babies at 21 weeks gestation. They were born too early. Tavin Sara T. and Casey Elizabeth T. are beautiful and precious and we will love them and miss them forever.***

    FET #1 December 2014
    Intralipid infusion on Dec 10. Transfer of 1 day 3 nine-cell embryo into my uterus on Dec. 19. (acupuncture immediately before and after)
    BFP on Dec. 27; Beta 1 Jan 2 (14dp3dt): 665, Beta 2 Jan 4 (16dp3dt): 1859, Beta 3 Jan 6 (18dp3dt): 4449, Beta 4 Jan 10 (22dp3dt): 12,251.

      Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • @jocie626‌ - first, that's just terrible. Dangerous to use thoroughly screened and tested sperm, but not dangerous to sleep with a stranger?

    I live in TX and know some folks who lived in west Texas that I can poll for info. They were in Abilene. Is that anywhere close to you?
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • Can you get to a big city, like Lubbock or El Paso, easily. You might have better luck there.

    There are one or two sperm banks that will ship without medical release, but I can't remember them right now. Maybe someone else will know.
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  • JGYJGY member
    I'm so sorry you have to deal with this ridiculousness.  It's stupid and offensive and wrong.  As PP mentioned, there are a few banks that will ship without medical release but I also don't remember who they are.  Good luck to you!

    Married to my amazing wife 6/12/10 
    TTC since 6/11
    Unmedicated IUI #1 - 6/28/11 - BFN
    Unmedicated IUI #2 - 7/25/11 - BFN
    Robotic Myomectomy (Fibroid Surgery) - 11/15/11
    Unmedicated IUI #3 - 4/24/12 - BFN 
    Progesterone Supported Leuteal Phase IUI #4 - 6/21/12 - BFP!!
    Baby Boy G Born 3/24/13

    On to #2, are we crazy?
    IUI #1 - 11/28/14 - BFP!  Beta #1 (11DPO) 34, Beta #2 (13DPO) 101, Beta #3 (20DPO) 3043
    Ultrasound at 6w4d shows a single, fluttering heartbeat.  Say hello to Sticky Ricki!



  • Your experience sounds horrifying - I'm so sorry you and your wife are dealing with that.

    I have nothing else to offer besides the suggestion that you try a city. You could even call a few places first, explain the situation just to see which doctors/practices are receptive to working with you. 

    Best of luck.
  • I'm sorry you have to deal with such terrible medical professionals. Just wanted to chime in that Northwest doesn't require a doctor signature. That might be a good option, and far less stressful. 

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Thank you all for the encouragement. @healz413 I cant get a midwife to speak to me. Her husband said that she will see me and even do a home birth AFTER  im already pregnant. They said they couldnt even suggest a doctor to help us. We are thinking about going to a doctor in Lubbock but we are still not sure how they will react @valeriegp. I have tried explaining to them but i have even been hung up on. We are about 2 or 3 hours from Abilene @ATmommas but i will take as much help as i can. Thank you all so much. Im looking into the other sperm bank now. My wife says our donor choice was perfect but shes hoping i will find another one i like. lol
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