I shouldn't go, right? — The Bump

I shouldn't go, right?

I mentioned last night DS has been really sick from his allergies. He's been up and coughing for hours at night. Yesterday we saw the pediatrician and DS got meds for a sinus infection and steroid nose spray. Last night was still horrible. I think he got three hours of sleep. This morning he threw up bile twice--I think from coughing so hard.

We're burying my grandma tomorrow. I'm supposed to drive two hours to my parents tonight. Tomorrow we'd drive another two to bury her next to her first husband. DS and dd would stay with my cousin's three kids (4,6,8) and two babysitters. Family I haven't seen in years will be there, since some couldn't make her funeral.

But I shouldn't go, right? I shouldn't risk making others sick and it wouldn't be fair to DS and it wouldn't be fair to the good babysitters to unload him on them and I'd be anxious being away from him.

I really want to go, and dh is at work, so I just need someone else to weigh in and agree it's the right choice. DS is sleeping on a pad on the bathroom floor right now. :-( it's where he wants to be.

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Re: I shouldn't go, right?

  • Thanks, guys.

    I'm just going to go cry now.

    This sucks.

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  • I'm so sorry. Is there any way H can trade a shift or call in so you can go?

    A death in the family and a sick child seems like a valid excuse for an absence.
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    LaurelBee[Deleted User]
  • @Spooko‌

    We were really close. DD's middle name is Margaret after her. She was the most kick ass lady ever. My reason for not wanting to leave him with the babysitters is mostly because I'd be two hours from them burying her and dh would be two hours from them working and if he got worse or had an asthma attack or reacted to his steroid nose spray or something? The babysitters are great but he doesn't know them and everyone he knows will be at the burial. Plus I'd have to load the poor sick kid up for a two hour drive.

    Dh is working twelve hour shifts overnight. Even if he got out on time tomorrow I wouldn't be able to drive the four hours to the burial on time. So sadly that's not an option.

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  • I'm sorry. DS has been having similar allergy problems. I wouldn't not go in fear of getting others sick. 1) he's on meds. 2) I didn't believe allergies are contagious
    He'll probably sleep for the majority of the car ride, if he's had so little sleep at night. It might be good to go.
    I'd second guess leaving him with cousins he doesn't really know, just because he might be scared & cry for you. But really, with all those other kids to play with... He'll probably have a ball & forget he's not feeling well.

    I think I'd still go.
    [Deleted User]PeanutButterFox
  • I'm so sorry. Is there any way H can trade a shift or call in so you can go?

    A death in the family and a sick child seems like a valid excuse for an absence.

    Trading tonight's shift would mean someone else works a 24 or 36 hour shift and dh would have a rough time since he's on a night schedule right now. He'd be willing but why make it hard on him and DS? And then I'd still hate to be away from DS.

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  • Because this is so important to you, can you just take him with you?

    Four hours in the car just doesn't seem fair when he's sick and I could just be an adult and suck it up and let him rest at home.

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  • I am so sorry for your loss. I don't know what I'd do in this situation and would feel very torn. Is there anyone on your H's side who could come to your house to babysit?
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  • Dh thinks I should go. But I just feel like it's be so unfair to DS who should be resting at home.

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  • Mags748Mags748 member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    I would go and take him with you. He's been on antibiotics so he won't be contagious and as pp said, he might sleep better upright in the car seat.
  • mbenit4 said:

    I would go. You have to go to the funeral or you'll regret it. This is where my head is at.

    Take him with you to the funeral if you don't want to be separated. Kids are more resilient than we give them credit for.

    This isn't like a family BBQ you'd be missing. I feel you have to go.

    You're not even comfortable being away from him with his dad who is a doctor!! So take him with you.

    It's more I don't think it'd be fair for dh to be up twelve hours then handed a sick kid and then work another twelve the next night. And I'd feel bad because when DS is sick he wants mommy.

    I need to think. DH's parents can't come out this weekend so DS would have to come with me.

    And this isn't the funeral... She died in December and we had the funeral then. This is her burial (couldn't bury her in the winter and most cemeteries just started to "open") at the cemetery I used to drive her to so she could visit her husband's grave. It's two hours from my parents.

    DS is asleep right now. I'll see how he feels when I wake up and think about this.

    I just feel like he should be my responsibility, KWIM? Dh is working and will be tired and it'd be a big favor to ask someone to come watch him and I shouldn't even want to leave him because I'm mom and shouldn't want to leave my sick kid.

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  • Maybe call your cousin and ask how'd she feel if you left DS, not feeling at his best, with her.
    If she's iffy on you coming, stay home. If she thinks it's not a problem, go
  • I'm sorry for your loss. Hugs girlie
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  • SmootchySmootchy member
    10000 Comments 250 Answers 500 Love Its Fifth Anniversary
    edited May 2014
  • I would make the trip to your parent's house.  He will probably sleep all the way there.  If he is better tomorrow you can go to the burial.  If he is worse you can head home or stay and rest at your parents.  
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  • I understand that you are feeling guilty as mom guilt is the worst, but I promise you have nothing to.feel guilty about if you go.

    I think you should go. I also think that if you wanted to take him to the burial the 4 hours wouldn't be so bad.

    Is he feeling better today?


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    [Deleted User]PeanutButterFox[Deleted User]
  • What time are you supposed to leave today?  Sounds like he'll have been on meds for about 24 hours so he should be feeling better especially by tomorrow when you'd be leaving him.  He definitely wouldn't be contagious so don't worry about that part of it.  Can you make a game time decision right before you're supposed to leave so you can see how he's feeling?  If he's a car sleeper, the two hour drive might actually be good for him since he didn't sleep well last night.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User]PeanutButterFox
  • I'm glad you're getting to go and I hope it's easy on you both.

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  • chapski said:

    This was suppose to be in the FFFC!! 

    I'm sorry this posted in here!! 
  • chapski said:

    chapski said:

    This was suppose to be in the FFFC!! 

    I'm sorry this posted in here!! 

    It's okay!

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