Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
JmeJoLee83
member
Re: Scared for surgery!
Honestly, it far exceeded my expectations. I'll try and find my birth story on here to link you to it. I think it might bring a little comfort.
Congrats in advance!
My birth story is not what I had expected. After vehemently planning an all natural childbirth and reading all the books and blogs I was forced to confront a large baby, no real cervical progresssion and being a week overdue with my midwife and doctor team encouraging a csection.
I had two days of ugly crying (you know what I'm talking about) and mourning the delivery I'd built up in my mind. With her estimated weight to be 10lbs 10oz, I knew that they weren't seeking an easy out and I had to think of what would be best for my baby. My sweet doctor put it easily for me. A vaginal delivery would be the lowest risk for me (although with her size, that wasn't guaranteed) and a higher risk for her. A C-Section could have more complications for me; but less for her. There wasn't even a choice for me after considering that.
Let me tell you, I had an amazing experience! We arrived at nine and both DH's parents and my own were already waiting at the hospital (first time grandparents). The staff couldn't have been nicer and took note that I was extremely nervous/scared crapless. I was also hungry and thirsty (nothing to eat or drink after midnight) and focusing on that was driving me a little crazy too. Once the nurse set up my IV and began to push fluids into me, my thirst subsided.
My midwife came to my birth anyways, even though she technically served no purpose in the OR. I've grown to adore her and she kept me calm, chatting and laughing through the whole thing. DH had to wait outside the OR as I was prepped, and he said he was incredibly nervous. When he walked into me laughing and joking, he instantly relaxed.
Believe it or not, one of my biggest fears about the surgery was the spinal. I'm the kind of person who absolutely loses her MIND if my foot falls asleep and I cannot immediately rouse it.
After leaving DH in the ante room, I was wheeled in to the OR and prepped for my spinal. Every prick and poke I'd been warned would be a 'big stick' was actually not a big deal at all. After straddling the operating table and getting the novicaine, the actual spinal went it. It sent a couple of startling shocks down my spine towards my butt. Afterwards I felt only pressure and the tingling began in the tips of my toes and worked its way up. Before I knew it the drape was up and my husband was at my head, holding my hand. My anesthetist was fantastic, telling us that he himself was once in the same position (his wife had two c-sections). He kept telling us how perfect the surgery was going and that there was nothing to worry about
The tugging and pulling was a bit of a strange feeling, but they prepared me for it. I was a little surprised that I could still feel them touching, and cutting and moving things around, but there was NO PAIN. Such a strange sensation! Once they got in and into my uterus it was discovered that she was no where near engaged and they had to push rather high on my chest to work her down and out.
The release as they pulled her from me was satisfying and she let out a great big throaty cry, which immediately made me and DH cry ourselves. Her apgars were 9/9 and a few minutes after being suctioned and evaluated, she was brought to us, all 10lbs 7oz and 23 inches of her!!! My midwife pointed out the linebacker like width of her shoulders and assured me we made the best decision possible. She most certainly would have gotten stuck if we went ahead and tried an induction. If she miraculously didn't get stuck she would've done quite a bit of damage on her way out, that was certain.
DH took her to the nursery for some skin to skin, and I have the most beautiful photograph of them from this time. I went to recovery where honestly the most difficult part so far was realizing that my feet and legs would still not move. Now that I had the time to focus on them, it was starting to freak me out. Now that my adrenaline had calmed down a bit I was beginning to become aware of all the tubes and attachments running out of me, and the blood pressure cuff inflating and deflating at regular intervals.
Thankfully, just before I hit full on panic mode, DH was allowed to come down and visit after a little while, and shortly thereafter they brought Rowan down to nurse. I had not had any leakage (?) or anything prior to that moment, so when the L&D nurse grabbed on and squeezed, I was more than a little shocked to see a small bead of colostrum dribble out. This was the first time I really got to hold her and it was incredible. I felt a little detached at first, but that was mainly due to the exhaustion that finally set in after three nights of not sleeping and all the people around me. They took her away again after a little while.
I don't remember how long I spent in the recovery room (maybe an hour?). During this time, my DH was getting to spend quality time with our LO. I was eventually wheeled back to my room where my parents, DH's parents, my grandmother, uncle and best friend were waiting. It was a little overwhelming in my post-surgical state. I held Rowan again, but then realized that because both times I'd seen her she'd been placed into my arms-I needed to see her face.
Oh. My. Goodness. This little pumpkin was adorable, but completely and totally looks JUST like my DH. After studying her sweet little face for a good long while, I finally found something-her left ear came to a tiny little elfin point-JUST LIKE MINE. I've since come to recognize my big mouth and appetite, but in that moment with my little girl, I fell so deep in love.
I was very worried that my C-Section would rob me of so much of the natural bond and connection that a vaginal birth provides you with, but it did not. While I didn't get to hold her right away, I couldn't have imagined a more perfect birth.
The recovery has gone well. If I can give any advice (which I gleaned from previous posters) it would be to take the meds as they're offered to you! I had some serious cramping from my uterus contracting down (especially when I was nursing/pumping). It didn't eliminate my pain, but simply kept the really hard stuff at bay. I was up and walking around as soon as I could (the next morning), which definitely helped, but know your limits. 'Voiding' (bladder or bowels) was extremely intimidating at first. Running the water in the bathroom and sitting forward on the seat helped with the former, and time (and Colace) helped with the latter. The gas pains as your guts get working again are kind of rugged, so take the Gas-X if they have it.
I devoured every one of these birth stories in the weeks (and months) leading up to welcoming my little girl, and they were all so inspiring and wonderful. If there's anything I can say in closing; it's that while plans may deviate from what you expected, that all of us Mama's are brave-no matter how we bring our babies into the world.
GSx1 - 05/13/2013
GSx2 for T&B - EDD 6/21/2015 - They're having a GIRL!