Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Alyssa&bby
member
Re: Epidural or all natural??
TFMC 08.02.13 at 19+ weeks. Everyday I grieve for my little Olive.
There are some great benefits to birthing naturally, but it isn't for everyone. I would get a start now on researching natural birth and the risk and benefits of epidural and other pain medications during birth, and see if you think natural might be for you.
This time I'd like to do it without again but who knows what it will be like this time.
I'd talk to your doctor about it but ultimately I think it really depends on what happens on the actual day.
I asked for an epidural at just 4cm and then only progressed to 5.5cm for the rest of the day. I had to be rolled onto my sides and shifted around to help get DS to move down and to help me dilate. I fully believe that had I held out and not asked for the epidural and spent the day laying on my back, DS would have been born much earlier.
My plan is to hire a doula and aim for a natural birth with this baby. FX that my labor begins naturally at home, and that I can spend most of it there, because I hated being in the hospital, tethered to IVs and monitors. :P
Surprise! BFP 3/7/2013, Missed MC, D&C @ 7w5d
BFP 12/10/2013, Natural MC @ 5w1d
BFP 2/15/2014...Katia Elizabeth is due 10/23/2014!
If you want a natural birth, that's great! Look into popular labor management options and consider hiring a doula. Best of luck!
And don't get too stuck on one birthing plan... I've known people who wanted an epidural but got there too late and there wasn't enough time for one and I've known people who wanted to go all natural and ended up asking for the epidural when the pain became too much to handle.
If you had asked me anytime before I was admitted to the hospital I would have told you All Natural all the way, no matter what... I wanted and planned for a natural birth BUT I found out at week 36 that I had Group B Strep. So that in addition to my GD made it so that when I went to the hospital when my water broke (I was only at 1 cm) they immediately gave me cervidil, that didn't work and my baby's heart rate was dropping and they later gave me pitocin. I never progressed passed 1 cm, as a last resort I tried the epidural in a final attempt to have a vaginal birth (the nurse said that sometimes the epi helps relax you down there) but after 24 hours passing after my water breaking it was urgent to get the baby out by C-section.
And like PP mentioned, I just can't get past the horror of somebody sticking a huge needle in my spine! But this is coming from a woman who had never even had an IV before.
All that said, I would much rather not have to get one this time.
Native NYC-ers living in Switzerland - First time parents - 36 + 37
TTC: 8 Months / BFP: 2/8/2014 / EDD: 10/20/2014
GL with your decision, but just know you might change your mind. And there is nothing wrong with that!
With my second I planned to do the same but ended up having a c-section. My ds was too big for my birth canal. He has a big head and big shoulders.
For my second, I was 6-7 cm when I arrived at the hospital and had to decide right away . My first epi was a good experience so I did it again and had another good experience. I'll have another epi this time unless it is too late or I can't for some other reason.
I am in the same boat. I want to go drug free but I'm not sure if I will in the end. My Dr did say that we can go drug free for as long as I want and if I need the epidural in the end I can get it. She also said that if it gets to where there's no point in getting it, she will let me know. I am also taking a Bradley class so I'm hoping that will help me with my pain management and ultimately I will get to do this without drugs.
I'm not against drugs but from what I've read/heard, labor goes faster if you can feel it and your body can naturally react to it. I too am an FTM and I'm just taking it all in and keeping an open mind.
Good luck on whatever decision you make
Married: 7/9/11
TTC Since: 10/13
EDD: 10/29/14