Anyone else?
My daughter is like...crazy. Some people call it "Strong-willed." We just think she's kind of a huge jerk.
Our son is 3 and he's as sweet as pie and always has been. So compliant, always listens, is just such a good boy.
Not our little girl. No. She is a jerk. If she doesn't get her way she throws herself to the ground and screams for at least 5 minutes, if not longer.
Last night we left my parents house to come home and she screamed when we took her from her Papa to go into the car...all the way home, during bedtime routine, all the way up until bed.
Today, she was coloring on my car with chalk after I repeatedly told her not to. So I took it away and a 15 minute melt down ensued.
Please tell me this stops? :[
I am a childcare provider and none of my kids have ever done this!
Little Man 1.8.11
Freshie Girl 9.29.12
Re: 20 month old is an a-hole?
It ALWAYS works that way. If number one is sweet and calm and just plain easy then number two always comes along and does the opposite leaving parents baffled, confused and just shocked. I work in childcare. I have seen it over and over again.
It is all NORMAL behavior it just seems so extreme because your eldest decided to skip this stage.
It will get better. Just roll with it. Set limits, stick to them and most of all take every chance you can to praise them for 'good' behavior and to give hugs and kisses. Don't compare (out loud), There is nothing worse in life than being compared to the 'better' sibling and children quickly start to live up to the expectations of being the 'a-hole' and 'jerk'.
Many traits parents complain about in toddlers become desirable in older children, teenagers, and adults. Do you really want your adult son to be described as "sweet and compliant?" Sweet, maybe. Compliant? As in submits to authority figures without question? No.
DS born: February 2013
TTC #2: Nov. 14
Chemical pregnancy 09/16/15
BFP: 12/25/15 EDD: 09/04/16
Their frontal lobes aren't developed yet, so they cannot think rationally.
When my DD throws a tantrum (even when it is ridiculous and kind of embarrassing) I typically ignore it. The minute she realizes that the tantrum is not giving her the result she had hoped, she calms down and might even come get a hug- or go play with a nearby toy. I have noticed her outbursts have decreased quite a bit, and even shortened in length most times too.
I know you guys don't know me, but I am very silly and joke a lot. I would never ACTUALLY call my child names. I am just being silly and sarcastic. If anything, I say "No-no, honey, let's not do that." etc.
And no, I don't compare the two on a normal basis. This was just my train of thought during this post. I know every child is different.
She really is a sweet girl when she isn't having a meltdown! I just was wondering what types of things you all have experienced as parents.
As a PP said, children behave differently for their parents rather than their caretakers. This is true, and I thank you for pointing it out. All of the children I've had have been very well-behaved for me.
I think once she can communicate more and when she understands that actions have consequences, things will be easier for us. She is too little to reprimand or do time-outs or anything like that. So she gets the occasional "no-no." from me and then melt-downs ensue...for like 20 minutes.
I know she will grow out of it.
Freshie Girl 9.29.12
I think setting firm boundaries is a good idea. I will try to be consistent with rules and hopefully it will help! Thanks
Freshie Girl 9.29.12
My DD is very high energy and independent. She functions very well at daycare because the environment is child-centered. Everything is safe and at her level. The routine is always the same. Her teachers tell me, "she is so calm, patient, and helpful." At home, she does pretty well, too. We have routines, and she can do a lot herself safely.
Any other environment is so stimulating that she goes wild. I know this, so I plan around it. Or at least brace myself for it. Last night was the end-of-school dinner at daycare. It was really for the preschool kids, and it was DS's last one since he will go to K this August. I spent the entire time running after DD. The other little sibs were just sitting on their parents' laps. It was exhausting and slightly embarrassing, but I think most people get that DD is a very energetic child, even for a 2 year old.
However, I do appreciate the ideas and feedback that have been helpful!
I certainly will try and give her more warning as to when things will happen. I hadn't thought of that, so I appreciate it!
Freshie Girl 9.29.12
Also, I want to offer up this...
HUGS. Hugs can sometimes build that connection before and after correction. Example:
You see her writing on your car with chalk. Go to her and say "I love you honey. I need a hug." Give her a sqeeze. Even though you are pissed, it will calm you down and set up for the next comment. Find your kindness. Then say something like..."I love that you like to make things pretty with the chalk. Chalk is for the ground and not mommy's car. Use the chalk on the ground." And then you could even say "What should we draw?" Start drawing something. If she goes back to your car again redirect her behavior to something else. If she throws a fit say "Chalk is for the ground only. You are sad mommy took your chalk away. I would feel sad too. You can try again later. What can you do instead?" If she continues to throw a fit ask for another hug. You would be surprised how effective it can be in stopping tantrums and building a connection with your kiddo.
I also would like to recommend to you this:
https://www.amazon.com/Positive-Discipline-Toddler--Laying-Foundation-Confident/dp/0307341593/ref=sr_1_sc_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1401291478&sr=8-1-spell&keywords=positive+discipling+for+toddlers
Enjoy that awesome little gal!