What is up with these crazy attacks?

FLRainbowGirl · May 2014

Hi, Ladies! I'm on my BMB & I've seen some nasty attacks happening to some innocent (yet naive) posters ...
I guess people aren't responsible when they're on a computer & have no accountability to not hurt other people's feelings.
(Hormones raging, I guess they think they can take out their frustration on someone they don't know...)
I'm STRONGLY considering bowing out of it.
I mean, thus is supposed to be a "safe place...?" Not from what I've seen.

Your thoughts & experiences?

FLRainbowGirl · May 2014

My word, ladies! In one of the posts several ladies are just continuing bashing a poor girl that is for BFF!
What has come of the world?

danieleandwayne · May 2014

This is why I only hang out on this board. No drama here. No mean ladies.

(And I don't even know what BFF is)

FLRainbowGirl · May 2014

I'm with you, girl!

designchica · May 2014

I completely agree. I haven't seen it much on this board, but I have found myself feeling sickened by the ugliness of some of the posters on the 1st trimester board. I don't understand it and I feel bummed out a lot of the times that I go there to post or read other people's posts. I guess I am pretty blessed to be surrounded by mostly positive people in my day to day life, so when I come across that type of energy, it is very jarring. People who are mean to others do not feel good about themselves, and I think they must really be suffering in their own lives to be hateful. Its sad.

danieleandwayne · May 2014

What I don't understand is how pregnant women feel that much hatred and vitriol. I mean: a) I'm freaking exhausted. Too exhausted to be fomenting or receiving any drama. Ain't nobody got time or energy for that.

b) Pregnancy is tough enough without getting yourself worked up about anyone else. If someone is naive, okay she's naive. If she's being an idiot, so what? It doesn't affect me.

c) I want my pregnancy to be as positive on the inside for my baby as I'd like it to be for me on the outside. Maybe I'm just granola enough to believe in it, but I think that being a calm and happy presence as much as possible makes for a happier, calmer fetus.

FLRainbowGirl · May 2014

Indeed... I had to just put my two cents in though & I took the "I can say what I want to" posters on when one of them said their attack was "tame" compared to how it can get.
Just had to jump in & inform them it's not ok to be vicious or malicious just because someone differs from opinion - & don't know who you are.

It's very immature & just evil IMO.
Let's hope they calm down.

I'll be seeing a whole lot of the ladies on this board though. Peaceful & supportive.
Thanks, ladies!

harmonicbabe26 · May 2014

Totally with you guys on this. My BMB got so crazy I don't feel like going there anymore... Back when I was prego with my 1st there would be heated debates, some name calling etc every now and then, but nothing like what I see now. So silly... And I keep seeing all these new threads about terms of service/rules et, how you should learn the 'style' of the board before posting and then conform to it... Ughhh... Can we say Highschool clicky BS...

That's why I hang out here all the time. I guess with age comes wisdom and ability to watch your mouth...

moroccojade · May 2014

It's not just the Bump. It was (and I am assuming still is) the Knot and Nest, too. And probably a LOT of other message boards across the internet.

However, if I am honest, I think there are some reeaaally ridiculous questions put out there sometimes. "I am 14 dpo. And it looks like I have a full blown period. I tested and it's negative. Do you think it could be implantation bleeding? Should I buy a digital and test again tomorrow?"

I guess some find it hard to refrain from blasting people such as that. I just read, say "bless her heart" in my mind and move on. I learned to keep my mouth shut a long time ago.

Although there was one thread I didn't keep my mouth shut on (not on the Bump) where a bunch of pregnant women were congratulating themselves for not quitting smoking since "their other kids were fine with the smoking" and "low birth weight is no big deal". I couldn't just move on from that. I gently told them about the myriad of health problems I had (and still have) due to my mom smoking during pregnancy and forever after. And that they really might consider at least cutting back. I am sure some of them thought I was a real killjoy. I didn't care. lol.

ZooCrewMom · May 2014

I introduced myself on the BMB, but I haven't really been paying attention. These boards can get really, really ugly. I've participated in two previous to this and both times they imploded with ugliness. Oh, and the off boards that start forming (on Facebook and such) can get even uglier.

I'm a member with a few other ladies of some Facebook groups that formed after a board implosion and (4 times) the big group of immature trash talkers have started new groups on Facebook and added everyone back in so they can cause drama. I always just delete myself, but it annoys me that people you don't like can add you to groups without your permission.

Some of these women are BSC, this board is sooooo much nicer!

moroccojade · May 2014

This board is nice.

BUT DEAD. We are lucky if we get 4 or 5 new posts a day! :P

FLRainbowGirl · May 2014

Well... Maybe we can blow some life into this group LOL!

harmonicbabe26 · May 2014

moroccojade said:
This board is nice.

BUT DEAD. We are lucky if we get 4 or 5 new posts a day! :P

Yes and no... I guess we just have a life in real life as opposed to being glued to virtual reality all day long. I certainly don't have the time to keep track of the dozens of new threads on my BMB each with 80-200 responses by the time I manage to jump online for a few minutes....
I'll take quality over quantity any day too.

flyinmommy · May 2014

I agree this board is good. The BMBs and tri boards can get kinda catty. My BMB starting a FB page and it seems to be a lot better since the catty people don't go there because they can't hide behind an avatar.

FLRainbowGirl · May 2014

@harmonicbabe26‌
"I'll take quality over quantity any day"

Indeed!!!

FLRainbowGirl · May 2014

flyinmommy said:
I agree this board is good. The BMBs and tri boards can get kinda catty. My BMB starting a FB page and it seems to be a lot better since the catty people don't go there because they can't hide behind an avatar.

People absolutely amaze me. The boldness to be nasty because no one knows who you are... Just sickening.

I don't know if I'll join the FB group. I've heard some loons will start stalking people. No thank you.

moroccojade · May 2014

FLRainbowGirl - I agree that we should get some life flowing around here. Sure the the few posts we have are lovely. But some of us enjoy a bit more action during slow times at work. (I guess that means I don't have a life, though?)

FLRainbowGirl · May 2014

Yep... Me too. I have a very flexible job & will be home most of the summer. So, it'll be nice to connect a little more...

B-)

harmonicbabe26 · May 2014

I'm up for livening things up just can't promise i'll be able to keep up if things get super fast.

CreativeD1 · May 2014

Thank you for this post! It made me feel a lot better! My month board had an "incident" by another poster and when I suggested we show some respect (there was a lot of name calling) a lot of ladies turned on me and told me to get out if I didn't like it. Well, thank you, I just may. Thanks for this post!!!

FLRainbowGirl · May 2014

@CreativeD1 - We decent people must stand together. LOL.

FLRainbowGirl · May 2014

@katnhiding - I have no idea what you're talking about.. I think you may have the wrong person here.
I don't know about any of these posts.

FLRainbowGirl · May 2014

This REALLY does not seem like a safe environment for any decent person...
Disappointing, but I'm glad this happened this early on.
Don't need this through this very special time...

FLRainbowGirl · May 2014

Oh. Ok.

danieleandwayne · May 2014

Please let's just keep the drama out of THIS board. This is the only Bump board aside from the TTC > 35 that I participate in because it seems to be relatively free of the pedantic, passive-aggressive little (and big) digs at posters.

I just want to have as easy a pregnancy as I can and share the silliness and craziness with women who get it so I can not drive my friends and family nuts. LOL

CreativeD1 · May 2014

I agree. I don't want anyone bringing the drama here. It was the name calling I was asking people to stop, no matter what this girl did. She was attacked. Then I was attacked. I am not going back to the jan BMB board @katnhiding so please leave it there. I'll stick to this board where I don't see any such actions.

harmonicbabe26 · May 2014

Ughh yeah let's not bring drama from other boards over here...

danieleandwayne · May 2014

@katnhiding: Yeah, see it's the "sweets" and the "I wouldn't be so proud of it if I were you" that is disrespectful. The rest of your posts were perfectly fine-- a statement of facts as you saw them and of opinion. But the snarky tone is what is disrespectful.

That's just my opinion, however. Let's just all keep the snark down, here, please.

danieleandwayne · May 2014

You just can't help yourself, can you? I'm out of this. I don't have time for you. "Seriously."

danieleandwayne · May 2014

Okay, I will admit: "ETA lots of words" is funny as hell.

ScubaMomma · June 2014

I am so glad to see this post @FLrainbowgirl! A couple weeks ago I tried to defend a girl that I felt was being attacked, only to have numerous members turn on me. There was no sensibility or any trace of compassion in these women. I was appalled. The profanity and hate directed at this woman was disgraceful. Then it happened again when I had commented on a different unrelated post. Something that was supposed to be for "fun". I felt like I was being ganged up on. I am 42 years of age. I worked in a high school for 10 years, it was like dealing with a bunch of bored catty teenage girls.
These keyboard warriors must be quite unhappy, to jump at any and every opportunity to demean, condescend and belittle another "expectant" woman. They always seem to be looking for a fight. Feeding off of each other's response. Talk about "Gang mentality" It makes me very sad.
I am so glad I am a member of this group as it certainly feels like a safe place to be.
You are all quite uplifting and supportive. Isn't that what this is place supposed to be about?
Thanks ladies for making this the experience it should be!

designchica · June 2014

I rarely visit the 1st trimester board anymore because its mostly just the mean girls from basically every high school movie you've ever seen. I cringe when someone innocently asks, "Could I be pregnant" because you just know its going to be met with responses of, "I don't know, Bitch. Pee on a stick or die. "

Then I went to December 2014 moms and that was okay for a little while and seems better ....until someone asks for help guessing the sex of their baby and then its like the mean girls get a hard on and get off on bullying someone for asking a question that I am sure they probably had themselves at some point during one of their pregnancies.

Fortunately this board has had no drama that I have witnessed. I love you guys!

mandyreads · June 2014

I just had to leave the Jan 2015 for this very reason. The attacks on there was sickening. I have had 3 healthy pregnancies and working on #4. I don't need other catty, vicious women telling me I am doing it wrong anf they are doing it right. I only joine came here for support and fun posts. Ahhhh! Please tell me you ladies are here to support? ?

Samuelismomma · June 2014

@mandyreads I read posts from jan 2015 and didn't even join because of the mean responses I seen:( we are drama and snarky free here! And pgal is too...I just don't understand mean people:(

FmrAFBrat · June 2014

I don't think they're liking me on Jan 15 but I'm trying to be honest.

mandyreads · June 2014

I am being called a GBCB over on Jan15 bc I called them out on their nasty behavior when I left. I guess they think they are being cute and funny. What is fun about degrading other women?

ScubaMomma · June 2014

December 2014 isn't any better. I refrain from commenting anywhere but here.
With my original post here yesterday, it seems I hit a nerve as one of the members sent me a pm with an animated GIF that had a message, "I didn't want to be the one to tell you this...but you're a dog." With a dog on it.
This girl who goes by "HilarityEnsued" completely proved my point.
I don't know what age bracket she falls under, but I have a pretty good idea where her level of maturity falls.

mandyreads · June 2014

Oh I have a good idea where all these "women's" ages fall. I just pray I wasn't this mean spirited and nasty when I was that young. I highly doubt I was since I was raised to be nice. Obviously the generations behind me not so much.

kimb311 · June 2014

It was like that years ago when I was on here with my first and it appears nothing has changed. This was the only board I looked at, commented or posted. Back then we also had to have a rally to get the board a little more lively ! I was having a flash back reading this post! Love the "advanced maternal age " mommas !

SoLagMama · June 2014

Must be that they are young= High school drama- no thanks! Over 35 we are wiser and too busy for the drama.

atmaloney · June 2014

mandyreads said:

I am being called a GBCB over on Jan15 bc I called them out on their nasty behavior when I left. I guess they think they are being cute and funny. What is fun about degrading other women?

You're being called a "Goodbye Cruel Bump"?

It's not an adjective, though.

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