05/23 Flame Free Confession Friday

Skeemer · May 2014

Confess!

Emilyfae · May 2014

TheAnne said:

I drive like an asshole.

I freak the fuck out on people who drive like assholes. It's bad and unhealthy (screaming, swearing, etc). I apologize if it's you I yell at

bullybutt · May 2014

I don't own a TV. I haven't watched an episode of anything since January (before I left ex). I catch up on news and important celebrity current events through internet at work. I should start sewing my own clothes and churning butta!

Skeemer · May 2014

When an ice cube drops onto the floor from the ice maker I kick it under the fridge.

Mamaduncan · May 2014

@Skeemer‌ me too!!

Emilyfae · May 2014

TheAnne said:

Emilyfae said:

TheAnne said:

I drive like an asshole.

I freak the fuck out on people who drive like assholes. It's bad and unhealthy (screaming, swearing, etc). I apologize if it's you I yell at

it's cool... I'm likely saying nasty things to you too. In my defense, I don't drive like an offensive asshole, but a defensive one. I will make every effort possible, include not necessarily safe ones, to make sure some dickhead doesn't get away with whatever shit he's trying to pull to get there one car ahead me. Also, if you're on the phone AND driving like a dickhead, I will make you miserable. horns, fingers, tailgating, yelling... it's bad. I have a problem.

Okay! We're the same type of driver! I was thinking you were the type that didn't use your turn signal, cut people off and did 20 mph over. We Cool.

Katieryan13 · May 2014

Mamaduncan said:
@Skeemer‌ me too!!

That is why you have dogs.

TallMomma29 · May 2014

jessa8907 said:

Skeemer said:

When an ice cube drops onto the floor from the ice maker I kick it under the fridge.

Anyone who doesn't do this is a sucker.

I totally used to do this but our new house has wood floors in the kitchen. And our dogs don't like ice cubes. WHYYYY?!?

TallMomma29 · May 2014

I judge the hell out of people I see texting while driving... and then sometimes I catch myself checking e-mail while driving :-/

cakebatter27 · May 2014

My ass is now leaking along with my vagina. Yes, there's a wet spot in the back part of my underwear, and no, I didn't shart. Yet.

Huahine · May 2014

Emilyfae said:

TheAnne said:

Emilyfae said:

TheAnne said:

I drive like an asshole.

I freak the fuck out on people who drive like assholes. It's bad and unhealthy (screaming, swearing, etc). I apologize if it's you I yell at

it's cool... I'm likely saying nasty things to you too. In my defense, I don't drive like an offensive asshole, but a defensive one. I will make every effort possible, include not necessarily safe ones, to make sure some dickhead doesn't get away with whatever shit he's trying to pull to get there one car ahead me. Also, if you're on the phone AND driving like a dickhead, I will make you miserable. horns, fingers, tailgating, yelling... it's bad. I have a problem.

Okay! We're the same type of driver! I was thinking you were the type that didn't use your turn signal, cut people off and did 20 mph over. We Cool.

You just described 90% of the drivers in Massachusetts.

Emilyfae · May 2014

cakebatter27 said:

My ass is now leaking along with my vagina. Yes, there's a wet spot in the back part of my underwear, and no, I didn't shart. Yet.

Butt sweat is so hawt. I used to get a patch of sweat on my butt when I worked out or if the weather was extremely hot, then I found sweat wicking panties at REI and my life was changed forever. Now I just don't care

TallMomma29 · May 2014

jessa8907 said:

TallMomma29 said:

jessa8907 said:

Skeemer said:

When an ice cube drops onto the floor from the ice maker I kick it under the fridge.

Anyone who doesn't do this is a sucker.

I totally used to do this but our new house has wood floors in the kitchen. And our dogs don't like ice cubes. WHYYYY?!?

FWP: "I have to pick up ice cubes off my hardwood kitchen floors because my dogs don't like ice cubes."

LOL! The struggle is real ;-)

Also, I don't read threads unless there are tons of responses (i.e. drama) or a catchy/interesting title either. I like to think it is because I am "so busy" but mainly I'm just lazy.

ghostof5letters · May 2014

DH is off today. I went to target and chick fil a after dropping off piper. I ate in the car and left all evidence in the car until he leaves for the gym

hgtvmom · May 2014

Skeemer said:
When an ice cube drops onto the floor from the ice maker I kick it under the fridge.

Well, that's the quickest way to get them away from the dog who pukes after eating anything frozen. Ain't nobody got time to clean that mess up.

ETA proof-reading before hitting post is hard.

ghostof5letters · May 2014

My toddler is really pretty, and for about 3 seconds yesterday I considered putting her in pageants. THEN, about 3 seconds after that, I got excited thinking maybe her hair and makeup people could do my hair and make up too!

Just once, I want a "hollywood" hair/makeup/photoshop photoshoot just to see how different I'd look. I almost got drunk one day (before pregnancy obviously) and went to glamour shots. Unfortunately, I couldn't find anyone to come with me. Not that Glamour Shots is close to Hollywood quality but I thought it would be absurdly fun while intoxicated.

ghostof5letters · May 2014

Also...I'm considering buying my toddler a $39 bathing suit which is completely outside of my comfort zone, but it's for pictures and I don't like any of the others on the market right now.

hgtvmom · May 2014

I would like to be more of a discount shopper, but I find that discount stores smell funny. Why does Target smell so much better than Walmart? Or Kmart? I just can't spend any length of time in those places. It's not even that Target smells BETTER, just that it doesn't smell!

Also, the places that smell generally have crappy customer service (going to Toy-r-us yesterday was a mistake. Smelly and craptastic attitudes from staff when asked questions).

TallMomma29 · May 2014

ghostof5letters said:

My toddler is really pretty, and for about 3 seconds yesterday I considered putting her in pageants. THEN, about 3 seconds after that, I got excited thinking maybe her hair and makeup people could do my hair and make up too!

Just once, I want a "hollywood" hair/makeup/photoshop photoshoot just to see how different I'd look. I almost got drunk one day (before pregnancy obviously) and went to glamour shots. Unfortunately, I couldn't find anyone to come with me. Not that Glamour Shots is close to Hollywood quality but I thought it would be absurdly fun while intoxicated.

In my head I think that you look like No Ragrets and I immediately tried to picture what that person would look like all glammed up (and also thought "she totally doesn't look like the kind of person that would be interested in getting her hair and make up done"). And then I remembered that is not actually you.

beff12 · May 2014

I've become so lazy. I want to nest like crazy but can't make myself do anything (thanks Pinterest). I'm also late to most things these days - totally not my style pre-pregnancy. I feel bad being late, but I honestly can't make myself care enough to get out of bed or off the couch. blegh

ghostof5letters · May 2014

Pup4gdb said:

I would like to be more of a discount shopper, but I find that discount stores smell funny. Why does Target smell so much better than Walmart? Or Kmart? I just can't spend any length of time in those places. It's not even that Target smells BETTER, just that it doesn't smell! Also, the places that smell generally have crappy customer service (going to Toy-r-us yesterday was a mistake. Smelly and craptastic attitudes from staff when asked questions).

I'm like this with stores I have to pick through. I can't shop at TJMaxx, Marshalls, Ross, Once Upon a Child, I just can't. I always love the things people buy and brag about the savings, and I get super jealous with the pricing, but I can't bring myself to spend the time to pick through everything.

Ugh...

tealowl · May 2014

1. Before DD was born, I had no idea that babies farted.

2. I leave my fallen ice cubes on the floor. I have hardwood. My dogs won't eat them. I will now kick them under the fridge. Fuck those ice cubes.

3. My belly is so big, I can't masterbate anymore.

MonkeyJD · May 2014

I have a family reunion this weekend and I'm kind of hoping that my grandfathers girlfriend says something that allows me to be a bitch to her. And heaven help the woman if she tries to touch my belly. I don't want her evil vibes anywhere near my baby.

bullybutt · May 2014

tealowl said:

1. Before DD was born, I had no idea that babies farted.

2. I leave my fallen ice cubes on the floor. I have hardwood. My dogs won't eat them. I will now kick them under the fridge. Fuck those ice cubes.

3. My belly is so big, I can't masterbate anymore.

NOOOOOO!!!!!

ghostof5letters · May 2014

jessa8907 said:

I've got another one.

I get irrationally angry when people try to perpetuate those urban legend terrible baby names (La-a, Orangejello, Lemonjello, etc.) because "NO, IT'S REAL GUISE BECAUSE MY FRIEND KNEW A WOMAN WHO'S NIECE WAS NAMED THAT. IT TOTALLY HAPPENED."

Unless you have encountered the name YOURSELF, please stop.

P.S. The confession here is how I get so angry even though it doesn't really affect me at all.

I do know a boy named

Praisethelordjesuschrist (I know his last name too, but not ending up on Google). He goes by Praise and my aunt was his teacher. We always thought she was lying until we found him on FB recently.

jensavicci · May 2014

I fell asleep on the toilet this morning. DW says it was for a good 7 minutes before she went ahead and woke me up. I was so exhausted :-<

bullybutt · May 2014

Is anyone else worried that their water is going to break from trying to poop? It's impossible to clinch your lady bits while trying to push stuff out the back door. Irrational fear.

hgtvmom · May 2014

bullybutt said:
Is anyone else worried that their water is going to break from trying to poop? It's impossible to clinch your lady bits while trying to push stuff out the back door. Irrational fear.

This thought has totally crossed my mind!

ghostof5letters · May 2014

I bought two pairs of almost identical shoes this week and I'm trying to pass them off to my husband as the same pair.

He keeps picking on me for being only 5'0 and buying maxi dresses that come in regular height. He held one up the other day and it would easily fit on his 6'0 self. I can't stop laughing, nor can I bring myself to put one on in front of him for this reason.

hgtvmom · May 2014

ghostof5letters said:

Pup4gdb said:

I would like to be more of a discount shopper, but I find that discount stores smell funny. Why does Target smell so much better than Walmart? Or Kmart? I just can't spend any length of time in those places. It's not even that Target smells BETTER, just that it doesn't smell!

Also, the places that smell generally have crappy customer service (going to Toy-r-us yesterday was a mistake. Smelly and craptastic attitudes from staff when asked questions).

I'm like this with stores I have to pick through. I can't shop at TJMaxx, Marshalls, Ross, Once Upon a Child, I just can't. I always love the things people buy and brag about the savings, and I get super jealous with the pricing, but I can't bring myself to spend the time to pick through everything.

Ugh...

Yes! I always worry that this makes me a snob. But, that's how it is. I about died in Burlington Coat factory / Baby Depot on Wednesday! (And why the hell can I not find a single local store with more than one changing pad?? I want to compare and choose! What makes a $20 vs a $50 changing pad!?!?)

[Deleted User] · May 2014

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[Deleted User] · May 2014

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ghostof5letters · May 2014

LiteraChick said:

ghostof5letters said:

I bought two pairs of almost identical shoes this week and I'm trying to pass them off to my husband as the same pair.

He keeps picking on me for being only 5'0 and buying maxi dresses that come in regular height. He held one up the other day and it would easily fit on his 6'0 self. I can't stop laughing, nor can I bring myself to put one on in front of him for this reason.

I'm 5'11'' and need a long maxi dress. Where are you buying these?!

The one he's really laughing about is from Pink Blush Maternity.

sxymamakat · May 2014

jessa8907 said:

I've got another one.

I get irrationally angry when people try to perpetuate those urban legend terrible baby names (La-a, Orangejello, Lemonjello, etc.) because "NO, IT'S REAL GUISE BECAUSE MY FRIEND KNEW A WOMAN WHO'S NIECE WAS NAMED THAT. IT TOTALLY HAPPENED."

Unless you have encountered the name YOURSELF, please stop.

P.S. The confession here is how I get so angry even though it doesn't really affect me at all.

Does it count if your ex-husband encountered it? He worked at the Red Cross, and there was a lady who came in who -honest to God- named her daughter after a word she thought was "pretty" on the sign at the doctor's office. Poor child ended up named Gonorrhea (pronounced Go-NOR-rhea, not the usual gon-no-rhea). Spelled the same and everything. He totally sneaked a snapshot of the lady's signature for her daughter's services that day to show me that night- I still regret not getting a copy of that pic before we split.

katnipeverclean · May 2014

I have zero plans to do anything outside of bump and possibly edit some photos while at work today.

@ghostof5letters I fully intend on getting my hair blown out and styled the day before my c section, I'm also taking DD to get a mani-pedi the day before. The morning of I plan on getting up and putting on full blown date night make up with a primer, my new fancy under eye concealer (erase paste) and a setting spray. If I'm forced to pick my kid's birthday I'm going to look damn good doing it. That's my confession. I fully intend to take all possible advantages of scheduling this thing and I don't give a single damn what anyone has to say about it. So I say go get your hollywood make up done and do it before your RCS so we can be OR beauty queens together. We might not be drunk, but I'm sure there will be percocet involved.

AmandaAug506 · May 2014

I always offer to go to the store by myself...... my DH thinks I am just beign nice by not making him go, but its really so I can drive through McDonalds and buy candy bars to eat without him knowing....but now that I my belly is getting bigger, I dont fit so well behind the wheel (we have a standard and I have to sit close to the wheel to push the clutch in) he really doesn't want me to drive if I don't have to so I have to sneak out at work to get my judgement free guilt food fix :-(

INmommy871278 · May 2014

People who smoke on or near playgrounds make me irrationally mad. I don't care if you smoke, but don't come to a playground where I bring my kid to play and enjoy fresh air and light one up so myself and my child have to breath in your second hand smoke. Yet I'm ok with people who smoke outside of public places that I have to walk by to get inside.

middleschoolmommy · May 2014

Baby currently in the NICU with Alex is named Ratonieoneya (Ra-ton-ee-on-ee-ah). The nurses actually get really happy when babies have names they can pronounce.

Confession: I side-eye the hell out of the teen mom that comes to visit her baby every other day to bring breast milk, and only stays for MAYBE 20 minutes. Same story for another baby, but parents are older and come less often (stay just as long though) and that baby is 3 months old. I feel so sorry for some of these children.

AutumnBonfire · May 2014

bullybutt said:

Is anyone else worried that their water is going to break from trying to poop? It's impossible to clinch your lady bits while trying to push stuff out the back door. Irrational fear.

Every single time. I also have an irrational fear of actually pushing the baby out while pooping and that I'm going to be like those people on tv who think they're pooping and then there's a baby in the toilet.

[Deleted User] · May 2014

The user and all related content has been deleted.

AutumnBonfire · May 2014

sxymamakat said:

jessa8907 said:

I've got another one.

I get irrationally angry when people try to perpetuate those urban legend terrible baby names (La-a, Orangejello, Lemonjello, etc.) because "NO, IT'S REAL GUISE BECAUSE MY FRIEND KNEW A WOMAN WHO'S NIECE WAS NAMED THAT. IT TOTALLY HAPPENED."

Unless you have encountered the name YOURSELF, please stop.

P.S. The confession here is how I get so angry even though it doesn't really affect me at all.

Does it count if your ex-husband encountered it? He worked at the Red Cross, and there was a lady who came in who -honest to God- named her daughter after a word she thought was "pretty" on the sign at the doctor's office. Poor child ended up named Gonorrhea (pronounced Go-NOR-rhea, not the usual gon-no-rhea). Spelled the same and everything. He totally sneaked a snapshot of the lady's signature for her daughter's services that day to show me that night- I still regret not getting a copy of that pic before we split.

I know stories like this are supposed to be funny (if they're true), but I feel sad for that mother. I picture someone with limited intelligence who probably didn't know any better. Does any of the hospital staff say to people, hey that's an STD or do they just laugh behind their backs?

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