Who do you love more?

Amjoy25 · May 2014

So, who do you love more? Your husband or your baby/babies?

Jenball717 · May 2014

Sometimes I have to work to love my husband, I love my daughters always and effortlessly. Sorry DH.

Amjoy25 · May 2014

I made the mistake of asking who my husband loved more...he said me. I said the baby.

Amjoy25 · May 2014

NRyan55 said:

My babies

::wipes brow::

Ycu2013 · May 2014

My kids for sure. I love my husband dearly, but i def love my kids way more!

Ycu2013 · May 2014

carriet2018 said:
I said husband. I dunno I'm weird I think of love as a choice. I chose to love my husband and he is someone I can always turn to and count on. My baby is an extension of me product of our love no matter what I'll die for the girl. But I feel like any sane person would for their child. But I would for DH and he isn't blood. #idontthinkthismakessense #ivebeendrinking #basicallyilldieforerrrryone #butilovemyhusband #anddaughter #butipickedhusband

:-?

Amjoy25 · May 2014

There's no judgement @Ycu2013‌

taylormarie923 · May 2014

That's like asking what I would save from a fire first, a chimp or snakes.

Ycu2013 · May 2014

Amjoy25 said:
There's no judgement @Ycu2013‌

Actually I wasn't judging her on what she said...I was actually thinking of what she said that makes sense, because I would also give my life for my H. I can totally understand that and relate...so it was a pondering face.
I would have used this one if I didn't agree...
[-X

Amjoy25 · May 2014

taylormarie923 said:

That's like asking what I would save from a fire first, a chimp or snakes.

Dead x a floppity bajillion.

Amjoy25 · May 2014

My mistake @Ycu2013‌. My apologies mi lady.

Jalee85 · May 2014

carriet2018 said:
I said husband. I dunno I'm weird I think of love as a choice. I chose to love my husband and he is someone I can always turn to and count on. My baby is an extension of me product of our love no matter what I'll die for the girl. But I feel like any sane person would for their child. But I would for DH and he isn't blood. #idontthinkthismakessense #ivebeendrinking #basicallyilldieforerrrryone #butilovemyhusband #anddaughter #butipickedhusband

This makes perfect sense to me. Put marriage before your child. That is one of the things our church suggests. If Mom and Dad are happy so are the children.

Jalee85 · May 2014

I love them both. For me it's like comparing apples to oranges. If my house was burning down and I could only save one. It would hands down be my child though.

Amjoy25 · May 2014

Jalee85 said:

I said husband. I dunno I'm weird I think of love as a choice. I chose to love my husband and he is someone I can always turn to and count on. My baby is an extension of me product of our love no matter what I'll die for the girl. But I feel like any sane person would for their child. But I would for DH and he isn't blood. #idontthinkthismakessense #ivebeendrinking #basicallyilldieforerrrryone #butilovemyhusband #anddaughter #butipickedhusband
This makes perfect sense to me. Put marriage before your child. That is one of the things our church suggests. If Mom and Dad are happy so are the children.

I will not love this. Church does not teach you how to feel, and if it does....you have some issues. ETA I said I would not judge, but saying church swayed your decision makes me stabby.

Amjoy25 · May 2014

And it's not about happiness...it's about honest feelings. It's not about what your pastor said you should say...how YOU feel. #brainwashingover

Amjoy25 · May 2014

Jalee85 said:

I love them both. For me it's like comparing apples to oranges. If my house was burning down and I could only save one. It would hands down be my child though.

Ok. You saved yourself here lady!!!!!! Jaleeeee!!!!

Jalee85 · May 2014

Amjoy25 said:

Jalee85 said:

I love them both. For me it's like comparing apples to oranges. If my house was burning down and I could only save one. It would hands down be my child though.

Ok. You saved yourself here lady!!!!!! Jaleeeee!!!!

Yeah , I was just mentioning what our church said during our marriage retreat. It has absolutely no sway on my judgement. I just thought it fit with what Carriet was feeling.

bkeane619 · May 2014

Kids no doubt

Chrisanna0508 · May 2014

I love both of them to pieces, but I feel like there is no good answer for this. This is like the scenario of a husband having to decide whether to save his wife or baby when there is a serious problem at birth. For the sake of the poll I put DS, but I think my love for DS and my love for DH are just very different and not necessarily quantifiable. Thought provoking poll though...moving on

tmccord21 · May 2014

Easy. Baby, duh.

skyla13 · May 2014

I am sleepy and this is might not make sense but the whole burning building thing .... do you think your husbands would also say, save the baby? I know mine would. I don't think it's a matter of you love your baby more or less. I think it's because there is this visceral need to save something so precious and innocent, a little human who has their whole lives yet to live.

ajjf1026 · May 2014

We've also had this conversation. It's a different type of love as mentioned above. But if we had to choose between saving one of us or DS, it'd be DS.

jennlin · May 2014

Babies, obv. My husband would pick our daughter, followed by me, then the baby.

catycate · May 2014

It's two completely different kinds of love. And while I totally agree with the idea that marriage should be a very high priority, DH could do things that would make me fall out of love with him. I'm not sure I could think of anything that my kids could do to make me stop loving them. And if DH died, I could pick up the pieces and continue living. If one of the kids died ( gawd, I'm tearing up just thinking about that) I'm not sure I would ever be able to move on.

ncase2 · May 2014

Is wanting to save = love?

This is too deep for a Friday morning before a long weekend

However, I chose DS. I don't really think that I love him that much more, but it's more effortless. With DH I have to contentiously work at loving him, but with DS, it's automatic and all-consuming.

hartsl01 · May 2014

I haven't read through any of the other posts, but I put SS because to me, it's a different love for each one of them. I can't come up with the right words to describe it, but the love I have for DS is just different than the love I have for DH.

GearUp · May 2014

I voted SS. Like previous posters have mentioned, it is a different type of love. I would die for my children and I would die for my husband. He would say the exact same thing. Now, it it comes to like a burning building, I would save my children, not necessarily because I love them more but that they are children and are pretty much helpless. DH could have a fighting chance, but my son would not, kwim?

I will say that in a hypothetical situation, my love for DH is conditional (like if he went ape shit crazy and started doing mass amounts of cocaine and knocking over liquor stores with no sign of ever quitting) but my love for my children is absolutely unconditional.

Amjoy25 · May 2014

I don't know how deciding on loving someone and/or something, and a burning building always comes into play. Lol. Thanks for playing guise! #winehangover #ihopethatsentencemakessense

SweetCFly · May 2014

I voted SS cause I truly don't know if I could decide. I agree with both @carriet2018‌ and @crunchymama11‌.

When I was pg, DH said he would choose me over the baby which I understand (I would have said save baby)... Not sure if his feelings are different now that baby is here and they have their own bond. I'm betting his answer may have changed.

Eta- words are hard.

Amjoy25 · May 2014

rsigler said:

I had a long response typed up and decided to delete it. My loss definitely colors my feelings on this topic. I love DH more...I'm just going to leave it at that. I don't have any desire to start a war this morning, but I do have some pretty strong feelings on this.

I would never judge you!!! You always get a free pass lady. >:D<

Amjoy25 · May 2014

carriet2018 said:

rsigler said:

I had a long response typed up and decided to delete it. My loss definitely colors my feelings on this topic. I love DH more...I'm just going to leave it at that. I don't have any desire to start a war this morning, but I do have some pretty strong feelings on this.

i would love to see that response! i dont think anyone would battle you, and if they do i will be on your front lines!

I feel like this would make me cry. I'm gonna need you to read it first @carriet2018‌. Then text me, and let me know if it made you all weepy.

jennlin · May 2014

just thinking about what @rsigler might say makes me maybe want to change my answer...and my eyes are teary.

jennlin · May 2014

#uglycryingatmydesk

jennlin · May 2014

rsigler said:

@carriet2018‌ #iwouldbehonoredtodrunkbumpwithyou My apologies for making you cry, @jennlin‌.

i'm a cry baby, i'm not too worried. i just fake a sneeze attack and leave the room. kills the mood, but sometimes it's what you gotta do.

taylormarie923 · May 2014

@rsigler you have enlightened me. Truly thank you for sharing that. I am guilty of saying I can't imagine, but what I truly mean to say is I am in awe of your strength and in facing a similar situation would hope to have just a sliver of it.

SHAWNACPA · May 2014

DH and I love each other dearly, but we would both pick LO. The funny thing is, I always knew it would be this way when we finally had a baby, he did not.

carawasa · May 2014

@rsigler‌ thank you for sharing that... You and your H are such strong people 1. For having to go through such a hard time, and 2. for sticking by each other. It amazes me. Hugs!

ajjf1026 · May 2014

@rsigler Your strength is amazing and I am so glad that your DH was such a strong support system for you. Unfortunately, sometimes in those situations (as I have seen with my aunt when my cousin was killed) it can break a family apart. I admire you both for sticking together and being each others strength. Many ((hugs)) to you!! You're truly amazing!! :-*

stephl3055 · May 2014

I'm not sure who I love more. Like everyone said, it's a different kind of love and you can't compare it.

I always thought that if I had to choose, I would pick my husband. But my choice is purely selfish. If we lost a child, we could help each other get through it. We would be each other's soft place to fall because we could relate. If I lost him, how could I cope AND care for a child? Who would help me get through it since no one I know has lost a spouse?

Amjoy25 · May 2014

Oh gawd, @carriet2018‌ you did not text me! Thanks for sharing @rsigler‌. Obviously, your perspective is one I do not have, and I can absolutely see why you would pick your husband. And thanks for that Andy Sandberg gif @NRyan55‌!

Amjoy25 · May 2014

@carriet2018‌

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