Breastfeeding dad - WDYT, Parenting?

jess60 · August 2012

https://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/breastfeeding-dad-trevor-macdonald-lllc.html

Technically, I don't think it's breastfeeding since it's through a tube attached to a bottle & it's not "his" milk.

annaruiz2 · August 2012

it's fu3king gross and self indulgent.

jess60 · August 2012

annaruiz2:
it's fu3king gross and self indulgent.

The child is being fed breastmilk & not formula so it could be worse, right? LOL

EastCoastBride · August 2012

I had to think about this.

If he hadn't had a masectomy and was actually able to produce milk and BF normally, I might understand his position more.

But he has to get milk elsewhere because he can't really produce enough, and he's basically MIMICKING BFing. It simply is NOT the same as BFing.

theseaword · August 2012

I had to think about this too, but upon reflection, I think he SHOULD be a LLL leader. Wouldn't he be a great guide for other women who have had mastectomies who would still like to have the breast feeding experience? I agree that he has had a unique experience that may not be relevant to the average BF mom, but he could be a role model for these specialized cases.

blush64 · August 2012

TwilightMV:
I had to think about this too, but upon reflection, I think he SHOULD be a LLL leader. Wouldn't he be a great guide for other women who have had mastectomies who would still like to have the breast feeding experience? I agree that he has had a unique experience that may not be relevant to the average BF mom, but he could be a role model for these specialized cases.

But he's not a mom. He is a father. It is not the same experience as a woman who has had cancer or has had to have a breast removed. The emotional experiences would not even be the same.

If I had trouble breastfeeding for any reason I would not feel comfortable going to a man for help.

EDIT Maybe there could be a group for people in that situation or some alternative that would allow mothers who don't feel comfortable with a man to still receive help from another woman.

judahsmommy1 · August 2012

TwilightMV:
I had to think about this too, but upon reflection, I think he SHOULD be a LLL leader. Wouldn't he be a great guide for other women who have had mastectomies who would still like to have the breast feeding experience? I agree that he has had a unique experience that may not be relevant to the average BF mom, but he could be a role model for these specialized cases.

I agree with you specifically in regards to the italicized. However, as a LLL leader, I think that he would need more experience with a more "normal" way of breastfeeding. I think he could be a great resource for LLL, but I don't think that a group leader is the best fit for him.

judahsmommy1 · August 2012

blush64:
TwilightMV:
I had to think about this too, but upon reflection, I think he SHOULD be a LLL leader. Wouldn't he be a great guide for other women who have had mastectomies who would still like to have the breast feeding experience? I agree that he has had a unique experience that may not be relevant to the average BF mom, but he could be a role model for these specialized cases.
But he's not a mom. He is a father. It is not the same experience as a woman who has had cancer or has had to have a breast removed. The emotional experiences would not even be the same.
If I had trouble breastfeeding for any reason I would not feel comfortable going to a man for help.

I think he's both a mother and a father. He gave birth to this child (and is thus this child's mother biologically) but he identifies as a male, and chooses to call himself a father. Choosing to have your breasts removed certainly is a very different experience than having no other safe option than to have them removed, but this man does have experience producing milk with limited breast tissue.

And I agree with you that I would not feel comfortable approaching a man (or someone who identifies as male) for help breastfeeding.

blush64 · August 2012

judahsmommy1:
blush64:
TwilightMV:
I think he's both a mother and a father. He gave birth to this child (and is thus this child's mother biologically) but he identifies as a male, and chooses to call himself a father.

I refer to him as not a mom because he identifies as a father. I don't think it's fair for him to make such a big deal about this. They didn't ban him from the group, they said he couldn't be a leader.

EDIT I honestly feel conflicted with this.

ShellShockedMama · August 2012

I'm so torn on this.

On one hand, my initial feeling was he's a male, and LLL was designed to support those that are lactating/breastfeeding and traditionally, those people were female. It was never designed to support fathers who wish to be included in breastfeeding (at least I don't think so) and that's what this man is. Regardless of his reproductive functions, he identifies as male. He calls himself a father. In that respect, I can see why LLL denied him leadership.

But I don't know if I necessarily agree with it, because on the other hand, maybe this person could reach a community that may not have support. People who've undergone sex changes and don't quite 'fit the mold' so to speak. OR maybe other dads who wish to bond with their children in a similar mock breastfeeding manner.

Why not make him a LLL leader and let the individual potential members decide whether or not this male would be a good source of information for them? Nobody would force a woman to attend a meeting held by him, so if people think they'd be uncomfortable, they could choose to attend a meeting held by another leader.

Lotsofloveandkids · August 2012

I think he should be a LLL leader, it doesn't matter if he's a male.

[Deleted User] · August 2012

ShellShockedMama:
Why not make him a LLL leader and let the individual potential members decide whether or not this male would be a good source of information for them? Nobody would force a woman to attend a meeting held by him, so if people think they'd be uncomfortable, they could choose to attend a meeting held by another leader.

This is where I am. No, he's not appropriate for leading groups of women who breastfeed traditionally (any more than a woman who is BFing after a mastectomy would be, because they face different challenges), but I think he'd be a great resource that LLL could offer to people in similar situations.

pinkiemo · August 2012

I don't feel conflicted either but because I don't feel like the issue is that he is or identifies as male. I think it has to do with experience, and perhaps there is a speciatly use for his knowledge that they could utilize to help others, but no, I don't think he should be a leader.

hazelaryion · May 2014

you have to remember he was born woman but i think its an amzing thing im make a fake breastfeeding system for my husband so he can get that closeness i get from bf