UO

Re: UO

• notkateanymore member

  May 2014

  irishgrl317 said:

  KateMW said:

  JMC11511 said:

  I agree but this mom on this board doesn't want this baby and that would make this an awful situation for this 10 mo old. You can't force someone to care for a baby no matter how much the need. I pray the foster parent is a good one. I had a crazy thought last night. I wished I was in this state as I would gladly take this baby into my home if I knew I could keep her or him.

  That's not fair at all. I have never once said I did not want her. I said that we, my DH and I, did not feel that we could adequately provide the love, care and support on ALL levels that she will/would need. I do not think it is fair to our niece, who we have zero relationship with, or to our nuclear family to try and force a situation that could and most likely would just end up causing more turmoil. Please, please do not make me out to be a heartless person who simply just doesn't want the baby. If I am being overly sensitive and reading too much into your statement, fine.

  Word it however you want, but you didn't want to take the baby, bottom line. What's wrong with saying that you didn't want it? If you had, y'all would have decided to take them.

  I make no claims of knowing if they did/did not want this baby, but it is possible to want something and decide it's not what's best for your family. It would be very easy for me to say I would, without a doubt, take one of my nieces or nephews in, but we are very close to all of our siblings. In a situation like this, I guarantee I would want to take the baby, but ultimately, it would have to be what is best for all involved. If DH and I, together, decided it's not best for our family, we wouldn't do it, not matter how much we wanted to.
  

  
  Eh. If she would have wanted to do it, they would have. They decided they didn't so the baby is in foster care. Why they decided they didn't want to have the baby isn't the point. Now, that's not to say WifeMomBlahBlah isn't being an ass, she probably is but I didn't see anything wrong with saying she didn't want the baby.

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• JMC11511 member

  May 2014

  KateMW said:

  
  

  irishgrl317 said:

  
  

  
  

  KateMW said:

  
  

  
  

  JMC11511 said:

  
  

  wife07mom09 said:

  I agree but this mom on this board doesn't want this baby and that would make this an awful situation for this 10 mo old. You can't force someone to care for a baby no matter how much the need. I pray the foster parent is a good one. I had a crazy thought last night. I wished I was in this state as I would gladly take this baby into my home if I knew I could keep her or him.

  That's not fair at all. I have never once said I did not want her. I said that we, my DH and I, did not feel that we could adequately provide the love, care and support on ALL levels that she will/would need. I do not think it is fair to our niece, who we have zero relationship with, or to our nuclear family to try and force a situation that could and most likely would just end up causing more turmoil. Please, please do not make me out to be a heartless person who simply just doesn't want the baby. If I am being overly sensitive and reading too much into your statement, fine.

  
  

  Word it however you want, but you didn't want to take the baby, bottom line. What's wrong with saying that you didn't want it? If you had, y'all would have decided to take them.

  
  

  I make no claims of knowing if they did/did not want this baby, but it is possible to want something and decide it's not what's best for your family. It would be very easy for me to say I would, without a doubt, take one of my nieces or nephews in, but we are very close to all of our siblings. In a situation like this, I guarantee I would want to take the baby, but ultimately, it would have to be what is best for all involved. If DH and I, together, decided it's not best for our family, we wouldn't do it, not matter how much we wanted to.
  
  
  
  
  
  Eh. If she would have wanted to do it, they would have. They decided they didn't so the baby is in foster care. Why they decided they didn't want to have the baby isn't the point. Now, that's not to say WifeMomBlahBlah isn't being an ass, she probably is but I didn't see anything wrong with saying she didn't want the baby.
  
  For the record, I was more on board with taking the baby. Like, figuring out how to make it work. DH was opposed. I am a firm believer that with life altering decisions like this, of one partner does not feel it is the right move, it doesn't happen. We made the decision that was right for our family. That doesn't mean we don't feel sad for our niece, or that we didn't want to help.
  
  

  Because you're mine, I walk the line....

  Landry Mark: 11/5/11

  

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• notkateanymore member

  May 2014

  I understand that. I didn't mean to word it like you alone didn't want to so it.

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• Mrs.Hizzo member

  May 2014

  JMC11511 said:

  irishgrl317 said:

  KateMW said:

  JMC11511 said:

  I agree but this mom on this board doesn't want this baby and that would make this an awful situation for this 10 mo old. You can't force someone to care for a baby no matter how much the need. I pray the foster parent is a good one. I had a crazy thought last night. I wished I was in this state as I would gladly take this baby into my home if I knew I could keep her or him.

  That's not fair at all. I have never once said I did not want her. I said that we, my DH and I, did not feel that we could adequately provide the love, care and support on ALL levels that she will/would need. I do not think it is fair to our niece, who we have zero relationship with, or to our nuclear family to try and force a situation that could and most likely would just end up causing more turmoil. Please, please do not make me out to be a heartless person who simply just doesn't want the baby. If I am being overly sensitive and reading too much into your statement, fine.

  Word it however you want, but you didn't want to take the baby, bottom line. What's wrong with saying that you didn't want it? If you had, y'all would have decided to take them.

  I make no claims of knowing if they did/did not want this baby, but it is possible to want something and decide it's not what's best for your family. It would be very easy for me to say I would, without a doubt, take one of my nieces or nephews in, but we are very close to all of our siblings. In a situation like this, I guarantee I would want to take the baby, but ultimately, it would have to be what is best for all involved. If DH and I, together, decided it's not best for our family, we wouldn't do it, not matter how much we wanted to.
  

  
  Eh. If she would have wanted to do it, they would have. They decided they didn't so the baby is in foster care. Why they decided they didn't want to have the baby isn't the point. Now, that's not to say WifeMomBlahBlah isn't being an ass, she probably is but I didn't see anything wrong with saying she didn't want the baby.

  For the record, I was more on board with taking the baby. Like, figuring out how to make it work. DH was opposed. I am a firm believer that with life altering decisions like this, of one partner does not feel it is the right move, it doesn't happen. We made the decision that was right for our family. That doesn't mean we don't feel sad for our niece, or that we didn't want to help.

  Just for the record, my opinion is that you in no way, shape, or form have to defend yourself and your decision here. This is not "my SIL was rushed to the hospital but I didn't take her kid for the night because it would have been an inconvenience." This is what could potentially be a lifelong commitment under extremely messy circumstances. You don't owe anyone an explanation. If anyone is judging you, fuck them.
  

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• JMC11511 member

  May 2014

  Mrs.Hizzo said:

  JMC11511 said:

  irishgrl317 said:

  KateMW said:

  JMC11511 said:

  I agree but this mom on this board doesn't want this baby and that would make this an awful situation for this 10 mo old. You can't force someone to care for a baby no matter how much the need. I pray the foster parent is a good one. I had a crazy thought last night. I wished I was in this state as I would gladly take this baby into my home if I knew I could keep her or him.

  That's not fair at all. I have never once said I did not want her. I said that we, my DH and I, did not feel that we could adequately provide the love, care and support on ALL levels that she will/would need. I do not think it is fair to our niece, who we have zero relationship with, or to our nuclear family to try and force a situation that could and most likely would just end up causing more turmoil. Please, please do not make me out to be a heartless person who simply just doesn't want the baby. If I am being overly sensitive and reading too much into your statement, fine.

  Word it however you want, but you didn't want to take the baby, bottom line. What's wrong with saying that you didn't want it? If you had, y'all would have decided to take them.

  I make no claims of knowing if they did/did not want this baby, but it is possible to want something and decide it's not what's best for your family. It would be very easy for me to say I would, without a doubt, take one of my nieces or nephews in, but we are very close to all of our siblings. In a situation like this, I guarantee I would want to take the baby, but ultimately, it would have to be what is best for all involved. If DH and I, together, decided it's not best for our family, we wouldn't do it, not matter how much we wanted to.
  

  
  Eh. If she would have wanted to do it, they would have. They decided they didn't so the baby is in foster care. Why they decided they didn't want to have the baby isn't the point. Now, that's not to say WifeMomBlahBlah isn't being an ass, she probably is but I didn't see anything wrong with saying she didn't want the baby.

  For the record, I was more on board with taking the baby. Like, figuring out how to make it work. DH was opposed. I am a firm believer that with life altering decisions like this, of one partner does not feel it is the right move, it doesn't happen. We made the decision that was right for our family. That doesn't mean we don't feel sad for our niece, or that we didn't want to help.

  Just for the record, my opinion is that you in no way, shape, or form have to defend yourself and your decision here. This is not "my SIL was rushed to the hospital but I didn't take her kid for the night because it would have been an inconvenience." This is what could potentially be a lifelong commitment under extremely messy circumstances. You don't owe anyone an explanation. If anyone is judging you, fuck them.
  

  Thanks Hizzo, I needed to hear that. 

  Because you're mine, I walk the line....

  Landry Mark: 11/5/11

  

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