UO

Andrewsgal · May 2014

cjcouple said:

Andrewsgal said:
Oh and I am very familiar with the money received and it is often not enough to cover all basics. To say taking in another child would have zero effects financially is incorrect.
I don't know about to but here in ct a foster child has everything paid for them. sports fees (aau too), vacations (plane tickets), dr appts, family photos, etc. you really wouldn't be paying anything extra. so some states cover it all.

It is not the same in Texas.

JMC11511 · May 2014

Andrewsgal said:

Oh and I am very familiar with the money received and it is often not enough to cover all basics. To say taking in another child would have zero effects financially is incorrect.
I don't know about to but here in ct a foster child has everything paid for them. sports fees (aau too), vacations (plane tickets), dr appts, family photos, etc. you really wouldn't be paying anything extra. so some states cover it all.
It is not the same in Texas.

Or California.

Andrewsgal · May 2014

amy052006 said:

Andrewsgal said:

amy052006 said:
I'll be honest -- college would be the last thing on my radar, considering it's not like the odds are all that great of a kid who goes through the system ending up in college anyway. I'm sure some kids would gladly take student loans and an actual shot over being in the system.

I completely agree, and like I said, don't judge necessarily the myriad of other reasons. But "college living expenses besides tuition" is a great example of what I consider bullshit. It's like saying you won't raise a kid unless you can provide a upper middle class to wealthy lifestyle. It's not necessary, and less frills are probably preferable to the alternative all things considered.

Obviously that particular issue would not make or break our decision but let's not sir here and spout bullshit like it wouldn't effect us financially at all.

I didn't say that -- I said it would impact us. Sorry, but yeah there would be a point where it would jump the shark from "financially responsible" to "selfish" for me. Worrying that my snowflake would ahve to take a loan to cover part of her books and her meal plan in college would without a question be that point.

Yes because that is the ONLY financial thing I worry about for my kids at all. You nailed it.

Andrewsgal · May 2014

scatteredtrees said:
My thought on taking in other children is also on the impact it would have on my own children. My SIL has four kids and they are totally out of control little monsters. I don't even like being around them for the weekend. I'm not inviting that chaos into my home when I have one child of my own who has some issues with being overstimulated and a very young baby. Nope. I don't care if it makes us look like assholes, but my kids come first, yo.

And now your special snowflakes will grow up to be selfish assholes!

JMC11511 · May 2014

My UO is that unless you've actually been in a specific situation, you don't get to say you know what you would do without any shadow of a doubt. You just don't.

JMC11511 · May 2014

JellyBellyStarr said:

amy052006 said:

Oh, FFS, then don't post about it then.

This. You don't get to tell people not to judge after posting your life on the interwebz. People are going to judge the hell out of you. I completely understand why you didn't take your niece because it didn't work for your family. You didn't want to take it on. It doesn't mean that people can't imagine how they'd react in the same situation and it might be completely opposite of your reaction.

It was fine when it originally was posted to say what you thought you might do. It was the absolute sort of feeling that rubbed me the wrong way. I am aware I will be judged for this for the rest of time, I will probably judge myself. I just don't know that I would be able to say, "I would definitely do XYZ" in a situation I've never been in, KWIM? Again, I appreciate all of the input and support I have received.

JMC11511 · May 2014

amy052006 said:
Oh, FFS, then don't post about it then.

ETA: This is also pretty rich since you are so sure the situation would be different if it involved death.

I don't think I said I would have taken her if it was a situation where the Mom were deceased. Just that there would be a different set of circumstances to consider.

Andrewsgal · May 2014

scatteredtrees said:
To further complicate things, I'd totally take my sisters' kids. Their kids are weirdos but they're well behaved and very sweet.

Oh I would take my sisters kids too. But like I said SIL is a bipolar drug addict so I would have to really think about taking her baby. Maybe this only makes us half selfish assholes.

Rink08 · May 2014

As an adopted person who lived in foster care/orphanage, was adopted "late" at preschool age, grew up in a home where fostering was common, both parents worked on the therapy side of an adoption agency, and is in the process of trying to adopt, this is a tough UO to read.

My UO:
Running doesn't have to be as expensive as people make it to be. You don't have to have to most expensive tracking gadgets, shoes, hydration belts, clothes, enter expensive races where you have to fundraise in order to be able to go, etc. The more that I hang out with a running group where people are constantly complaining about not having this or that, the less I like it. Seriously, put on a pair of sneakers and run. Isn't that the point?

Rink08 · May 2014

wife07mom09 said:

Rink08 said:
As an adopted person who lived in foster care/orphanage, was adopted "late" at preschool age, grew up in a home where fostering was common, both parents worked on the therapy side of an adoption agency, and is in the process of trying to adopt, this is a tough UO to read.

What are your thoughts!

That it's an incredibly personal decision that shouldn't be made quickly or by only one partner (if not a single adoption). There is a lot more that comes along with adoption than the addition of a child and everyone involved should be ready and willing to deal with the emotional and possibly complicated situations that can arise. If they aren't, than it's probably not the best situation for the child and there's nothing wrong with that.

Aussie45 · May 2014

cjcouple said:

Rink08 said:

My UO: Running doesn't have to be as expensive as people make it to be. You don't have to have to most expensive tracking gadgets, shoes, hydration belts, clothes, enter expensive races where you have to fundraise in order to be able to go, etc. The more that I hang out with a running group where people are constantly complaining about not having this or that, the less I like it. Seriously, put on a pair of sneakers and run. Isn't that the point?

IDK, my DH is a runner and it is hella expensive. He buys his gear at TJ Maxx when he can, or and on sale. He tries not to pay huge entrance fees but bottom line is that it all adds up over time.
You have to have proper clothing to run in all weather types (warm in winter and cool in summer), sneakers have to fit your foot correctly and cannot be too worn or you will get injured.

There is a big difference between people who run for fun or people who run competitively. Maybe you can run for 13 miles without worrying about what you need to wear, but for me (and I'm sure other runners), good shoes, bra, and shorts are a must. The entry fees are the only other thing I'd spend money on.

Andrewsgal · May 2014

amy052006 said:

I think it's a unity horse that everyone of courrse could never be 100% sure what they would do. I think the point is that there are various factors, and degrees of those factors, that encompass that type of decision. All my point was that some of those factors and degrees cross a line for me.

I honestly still don't see how worrying financially about adding another child is such a line crosser. If someone came on this board and asked if they should have another child or save for retirement we would have one unanimous answer. When we considered adding a third child finances were our biggest consideration. So it's fine to consider all those things when it comes to biological children but not when it comes to family adoption? That doesn't make sense to me at all.

Aussie45 · May 2014

Mmm, I think I have Nikes, but based on my foot type they are not good for me. The 'foot specialist' at Scheels recommended an Ascis for me based on my foot type. Since I had just bought the Nikes, I didn't want to drop $100 on another pair of shoes, so I got an insert. It is plastic in the arch area and not a cushion-y type of insert that my mind jumps to. However, it helps balance out my foot and has helped with my feet, shins, knees, and hips hurting.

I'd look up different feet types and see if they have recommended brands for you. Or go to Scheels or Dicks and talk to the shoe associates there. I'm not sure how knowlegable they are, but what the guy recommended for me is working so I'm a satisfied customer.

Andrewsgal · May 2014

amy052006 said:

Andrewsgal said:

amy052006 said:

I think it's a unity horse that everyone of courrse could never be 100% sure what they would do. I think the point is that there are various factors, and degrees of those factors, that encompass that type of decision. All my point was that some of those factors and degrees cross a line for me.

I honestly still don't see how worrying financially about adding another child is such a line crosser. If someone came on this board and asked if they should have another child or save for retirement we would have one unanimous answer. When we considered adding a third child finances were our biggest consideration. So it's fine to consider all those things when it comes to biological children but not when it comes to family adoption? That doesn't make sense to me at all.

I guess for me, the difference is the kid is already on this earth. It's not a hypothetical life choice.

But it is a life choice the kid will not die without me.

lyingliarlies · May 2014

Aussie45 said:

Mmm, I think I have Nikes, but based on my foot type they are not good for me. The 'foot specialist' at Scheels recommended an Ascis for me based on my foot type. Since I had just bought the Nikes, I didn't want to drop $100 on another pair of shoes, so I got an insert. It is plastic in the arch area and not a cushion-y type of insert that my mind jumps to. However, it helps balance out my foot and has helped with my feet, shins, knees, and hips hurting.

I'd look up different feet types and see if they have recommended brands for you. Or go to Scheels or Dicks and talk to the shoe associates there. I'm not sure how knowlegable they are, but what the guy recommended for me is working so I'm a satisfied customer.

all different brands of actual running shoes have different kinds based on the support you need. asics, mizuno, brooks, saucony - they all make motion control, stability, minimalist, & neutral shoes. so just saying "asics work for you and nike's don't" is complete BS.

also, go to a real local running store where they will have you run on a treadmill or track. generally speaking the employees are much more knowledgeable & are athletes themselves. places like dick's, rack room, shoe carnival, or kohl's carry very few good running shoes, most are just basic sneakers for mass market appeal (even if they use the word "running" in the advertising.)

finally, running is absolutely one of the cheapest sports there is. new shoes every 6 months or so at about $100 a pop, 3 or 4 sets of clothes for each type of weather (i wash about twice a week & there's little to no wear on running clothes so they should last for years, unlike other sports.) races or club does are completely optional. there really aren't many other sports or hobbies that are cheaper.

Andrewsgal · May 2014

amy052006 said:

Andrewsgal said:

amy052006 said:

Andrewsgal said:

amy052006 said:

I think it's a unity horse that everyone of courrse could never be 100% sure what they would do. I think the point is that there are various factors, and degrees of those factors, that encompass that type of decision. All my point was that some of those factors and degrees cross a line for me.

I honestly still don't see how worrying financially about adding another child is such a line crosser. If someone came on this board and asked if they should have another child or save for retirement we would have one unanimous answer. When we considered adding a third child finances were our biggest consideration. So it's fine to consider all those things when it comes to biological children but not when it comes to family adoption? That doesn't make sense to me at all.

I guess for me, the difference is the kid is already on this earth. It's not a hypothetical life choice.

But it is a life choice the kid will not die without me.

The risks for all sorts of really unpleasant crap escalate considerably once a kid goes into the system. We all know that. I guess that it what it comes down to for me -- the kid is my family, and the unknown in that situation isn't a risk I would want to take provided I could afford it.

Afford it as in "can feed and clothe everyone and keep them alive and not drown in debt in my lifetime". Not afford it as in "still not work and not cut back on my three vacations a year and my kids never have student loans".

See comments like this are shitty. Yes I am a total spoiled ass who cares about nothing but myself and my families plush life style. Bullshit. And don't say you never said that the implication us there. Affording an at risk child is often more than just clothes and food. Therapy alone can costs hundreds to thousands a month. Like I said I wold take my sisters kids in the drop of a hat. Would it mean that our lifestyle would change? Of course and I would willingly give up our vacations and summer camps. I know what I am walking into with them. This is not always the cad and imply I am selfish all you want but I will not risk my families financial security for a child with other options.

Andrewsgal · May 2014

And yes I take this very personally because I have been there and to imply that basing our decision partially on finances is wrong does bother me. Luckily our situation turned out differently and everyone won in the end.

Aussie45 · May 2014

lyingliarlies said:

all different brands of actual running shoes have different kinds based on the support you need. asics, mizuno, brooks, saucony - they all make motion control, stability, minimalist, & neutral shoes. so just saying "asics work for you and nike's don't" is complete BS.

I know that Nike has different kinds. When I said that, I meant the shoes that I bought doing no research weren't working for me, and the insert was a huge help. I even said that I didn't know how knowledgeable the guys there were and that doing some research online to find out what shoe would work for someone would be good.

The thing about running being expensive wasn't even what I said, so I'm just going to ignore that last paragraph.

Andrewsgal · May 2014

amy052006 said:

And if you want to talk about shitty comments "the kid will not die without me" is pretty much the shittiest thing you could say about your own niece or nephew. Jesus. And I even let it go until you kept pushing and making it about you!

you made it about me first. By implying that our vacations and my kids colleges were more important than a child. My point was this isn't life or death.

notkateanymore · May 2014

I hate earrings on babies.

Hate them. People on my BMB show me pictures of their babies with their ears pierced and say it's beautiful and all I see is tacky baby jewelry. Why do they make me say it again after they show me the picture? Damn them.

Andrewsgal · May 2014

amy052006 said:

Andrewsgal said:

And yes I take this very personally because I have been there and to imply that basing our decision partially on finances is wrong does bother me. Luckily our situation turned out differently and everyone won in the end.

I don't know how much more clear I can make it -- of course it is partly about finances. But to act as if there isn't a line where it becomes more about selfishness is nuts. And if my friend tried to say to me with a straight face, "Oh we wanted to help, but really we couldn't take that on without trading in the Lexus and the kids having to take some student loans" I'd judge. I just would.

If there weren't selfish assholes in the world, these kids wouldn't have no where to go in the first place!

But there is a middle ground it's not alway about giving up luxury cars and vacations and more about just providing for what people have and their own future.

notkateanymore · May 2014

Well apparently on my BMB I'm the evil bitch who calls babies trashy. What's new really?

Andrewsgal · May 2014

amy052006 said:

Andrewsgal said:

amy052006 said:

Andrewsgal said:

And yes I take this very personally because I have been there and to imply that basing our decision partially on finances is wrong does bother me. Luckily our situation turned out differently and everyone won in the end.

I don't know how much more clear I can make it -- of course it is partly about finances. But to act as if there isn't a line where it becomes more about selfishness is nuts. And if my friend tried to say to me with a straight face, "Oh we wanted to help, but really we couldn't take that on without trading in the Lexus and the kids having to take some student loans" I'd judge. I just would.

If there weren't selfish assholes in the world, these kids wouldn't have no where to go in the first place!

But there is a middle ground it's not alway about giving up luxury cars and vacations and more about just providing for what people have and their own future.

We agree on that --- we do! I swear I ahve been saying that all along.Well then I owe you an apology I am sorry.

caybeh · May 2014

My MIL had a crappy, crappy childhood. Lately, she wrote it down so we have her story and it makes me cry every time. She ended up in foster care around 13 and honestly, I think that foster care was when her life was probably the best. Her foster parents never adopted her. However, she considers them her parents and they are wonderful people. We call them grandpa and grandma. I agree that it is unfair to say that all foster care is horrible. There are good people out there too that do foster care.

Aussie45 · May 2014

caybeh said:

My MIL had a crappy, crappy childhood. Lately, she wrote it down so we have her story and it makes me cry every time. She ended up in foster care around 13 and honestly, I think that foster care was when her life was probably the best. Her foster parents never adopted her. However, she considers them her parents and they are wonderful people. We call them grandpa and grandma. I agree that it is unfair to say that all foster care is horrible. There are good people out there too that do foster care.

There are. And there are also horrible people that become foster parents. I have horror stories that my mom told me that happened to my dad in FC. He can't even talk about it. No one said that all foster care is horrible, but you can't deny that the horror stories are real and not something to be concerned about.

caybeh · May 2014

Aussie45 said:

caybeh said:

My MIL had a crappy, crappy childhood. Lately, she wrote it down so we have her story and it makes me cry every time. She ended up in foster care around 13 and honestly, I think that foster care was when her life was probably the best. Her foster parents never adopted her. However, she considers them her parents and they are wonderful people. We call them grandpa and grandma. I agree that it is unfair to say that all foster care is horrible. There are good people out there too that do foster care.

There are. And there are also horrible people that become foster parents. I have horror stories that my mom told me that happened to my dad in FC. He can't even talk about it. No one said that all foster care is horrible, but you can't deny that the horror stories are real and not something to be concerned about.

Ahh stuck in the box....
Yes, I agree there is horrible foster care out there too and am not denying that. Yes, I would be concerned and it would be a very hard decision. I was just merely sharing that my MIL had a good experience in the foster care system. I know that is not true for all.

JMC11511 · May 2014

wife07mom09 said:
I agree but this mom on this board doesn't want this baby and that would make this an awful situation for this 10 mo old. You can't force someone to care for a baby no matter how much the need. I pray the foster parent is a good one. I had a crazy thought last night. I wished I was in this state as I would gladly take this baby into my home if I knew I could keep her or him.

That's not fair at all. I have never once said I did not want her. I said that we, my DH and I, did not feel that we could adequately provide the love, care and support on ALL levels that she will/would need. I do not think it is fair to our niece, who we have zero relationship with, or to our nuclear family to try and force a situation that could and most likely would just end up causing more turmoil. Please, please do not make me out to be a heartless person who simply just doesn't want the baby. If I am being overly sensitive and reading too much into your statement, fine.

magentawarped · May 2014

wife07mom09 said:
I agree but this mom on this board doesn't want this baby and that would make this an awful situation for this 10 mo old. You can't force someone to care for a baby no matter how much the need. I pray the foster parent is a good one. I had a crazy thought last night. I wished I was in this state as I would gladly take this baby into my home if I knew I could keep her or him.

That's pretty high and mighty of you. There's plenty of kids out there that need fostering...are you a foster parent? Your knee jerk reaction of "oh, the poor, cute baby!" doesn't mean that there weren't a lot of valid factors that went into the decision to not foster her. That was a really jerky statement to make.

notkateanymore · May 2014

JMC11511 said:

I agree but this mom on this board doesn't want this baby and that would make this an awful situation for this 10 mo old. You can't force someone to care for a baby no matter how much the need. I pray the foster parent is a good one. I had a crazy thought last night. I wished I was in this state as I would gladly take this baby into my home if I knew I could keep her or him.
That's not fair at all. I have never once said I did not want her. I said that we, my DH and I, did not feel that we could adequately provide the love, care and support on ALL levels that she will/would need. I do not think it is fair to our niece, who we have zero relationship with, or to our nuclear family to try and force a situation that could and most likely would just end up causing more turmoil. Please, please do not make me out to be a heartless person who simply just doesn't want the baby. If I am being overly sensitive and reading too much into your statement, fine.

Word it however you want, but you didn't want to take the baby, bottom line. What's wrong with saying that you didn't want it? If you had, y'all would have decided to take them.

magentawarped · May 2014

wife07mom09 said:

magentawarped said:

wife07mom09 said:
I agree but this mom on this board doesn't want this baby and that would make this an awful situation for this 10 mo old. You can't force someone to care for a baby no matter how much the need. I pray the foster parent is a good one. I had a crazy thought last night. I wished I was in this state as I would gladly take this baby into my home if I knew I could keep her or him.
That's pretty high and mighty of you. There's plenty of kids out there that need fostering...are you a foster parent? Your knee jerk reaction of "oh, the poor, cute baby!" doesn't mean that there weren't a lot of valid factors that went into the decision to not foster her. That was a really jerky statement to make.
See my reply below. Of course there are valid reasons that was my whole point

Yeah, but you said you wish you could go foster THAT baby, like you're some angel from heaven swooping down to rescue her from her uncaring family. It was a statement crafted to make the OP feel like crap, that you obviously care more than she does because you'd take the baby. I stand by saying it was a shitty comment.

Aussie45 · May 2014

caybeh said:

Ahh stuck in the box....
Yes, I agree there is horrible foster care out there too and am not denying that. Yes, I would be concerned and it would be a very hard decision. I was just merely sharing that my MIL had a good experience in the foster care system. I know that is not true for all.

I'm glad she did. It's nice to hear stories like that and there aren't that many that get told, so it's definitely refreshing

Aussie45 · May 2014

wife07mom09 said:

I agree but this mom on this board doesn't want this baby and that would make this an awful situation for this 10 mo old. You can't force someone to care for a baby no matter how much the need. I had a crazy thought last night. I wished I was in this state as I would gladly take this baby into my home if I knew I could keep her or him. Edited the part about wishing I could take in the baby just comes from a place of my own loss. Give me a break here if any of you ever lost a pregnancy

You know who made this awful situation for the baby? Her mom. It's not the person that can't take her. And for you to say otherwise is pretty shitty.

ETA: Clarity. I used the wrong word.

Keeptruckin · May 2014

Mine is that I think people stress too much about kids sleeping arrangements. I have a cousin who is militant that her kids will never ever sleep with her or her in their bed. Kids get sick, shit happens. Never say never. As long as everyone gets enough sleep do what needs to be done. Maybe it's my lazy style of parenting but if DD has a bed dream she is welcome in our bed.

Aussie45 · May 2014

KateMW said:

Word it however you want, but you didn't want to take the baby, bottom line. What's wrong with saying that you didn't want it? If you had, y'all would have decided to take them.

They decided that it wasn't best for her family and she said it was a really tough decision on all of them. I think using the words "didn't want" makes it seem like it was just an easy, flippant decision. Like they could've taken her, but just didn't want to deal with trying to make it work. There's more to it than simply "not wanting" her.

irishgrl317 · May 2014

KateMW said:

JMC11511 said:

I agree but this mom on this board doesn't want this baby and that would make this an awful situation for this 10 mo old. You can't force someone to care for a baby no matter how much the need. I pray the foster parent is a good one. I had a crazy thought last night. I wished I was in this state as I would gladly take this baby into my home if I knew I could keep her or him.
That's not fair at all. I have never once said I did not want her. I said that we, my DH and I, did not feel that we could adequately provide the love, care and support on ALL levels that she will/would need. I do not think it is fair to our niece, who we have zero relationship with, or to our nuclear family to try and force a situation that could and most likely would just end up causing more turmoil. Please, please do not make me out to be a heartless person who simply just doesn't want the baby. If I am being overly sensitive and reading too much into your statement, fine.

Word it however you want, but you didn't want to take the baby, bottom line. What's wrong with saying that you didn't want it? If you had, y'all would have decided to take them.

I make no claims of knowing if they did/did not want this baby, but it is possible to want something and decide it's not what's best for your family. It would be very easy for me to say I would, without a doubt, take one of my nieces or nephews in, but we are very close to all of our siblings. In a situation like this, I guarantee I would want to take the baby, but ultimately, it would have to be what is best for all involved. If DH and I, together, decided it's not best for our family, we wouldn't do it, not matter how much we wanted to.

Aussie45 · May 2014

wife07mom09 said:

Wrong on all accounts. You just jumped to this and it's rude and uncalled for. I have no contempt for the op. She made a decision for her family. End of story.

You said " but this mom on this board doesn't want this baby and that would make this an awful situation for this 10 mo old." and then went on to say "Your statement was my whole point. You said yourself you could not provide the love care or support this baby needed. There is no judgement . This is a multifaceted decision which you put thought into and did what you felt was best. I'm sorry my reply made it sound otherwise."

So what is it? Is it that the mom on this board (who is clearly @JMC11511) doesn't want the baby and is making this an awful situation for the baby? Or is it that you weren't talking about her or judging her? You are literally saying one thing and then another and making no sense.

Aussie45 · May 2014

@NandaB I'm the same way. We tried it once when it was just DD and I on vacation and I was lonely. We both slept terrible and it wasn't fun for anyone. She likes to sleep in her bed so for us it's not a huge deal. We certainly don't stress about it.

magentawarped · May 2014

wife07mom09 said:

magentawarped said:

wife07mom09 said:

magentawarped said:

wife07mom09 said:
I agree but this mom on this board doesn't want this baby and that would make this an awful situation for this 10 mo old. You can't force someone to care for a baby no matter how much the need. I pray the foster parent is a good one. I had a crazy thought last night. I wished I was in this state as I would gladly take this baby into my home if I knew I could keep her or him.
That's pretty high and mighty of you. There's plenty of kids out there that need fostering...are you a foster parent? Your knee jerk reaction of "oh, the poor, cute baby!" doesn't mean that there weren't a lot of valid factors that went into the decision to not foster her. That was a really jerky statement to make.
See my reply below. Of course there are valid reasons that was my whole point
Yeah, but you said you wish you could go foster THAT baby, like you're some angel from heaven swooping down to rescue her from her uncaring family. It was a statement crafted to make the OP feel like crap, that you obviously care more than she does because you'd take the baby. I stand by saying it was a shitty comment.
Wrong on all accounts. You just jumped to this and it's rude and uncalled for. I have no contempt for the op. She made a decision for her family. End of story.

What was rude and uncalled for was your comment. We weren't having a hypothetical conversation...you said you wanted to come get THAT kid and that OP didn't want her. It was insensitive and stupid.

Keeptruckin · May 2014

NandaB said:

Keeptruckin said:

Mine is that I think people stress too much about kids sleeping arrangements. I have a cousin who is militant that her kids will never ever sleep with her or her in their bed. Kids get sick, shit happens. Never say never. As long as everyone gets enough sleep do what needs to be done. Maybe it's my lazy style of parenting but if DD has a bed dream she is welcome in our bed.

Yes, if the kid is a tosser and turner, etc or if the kid is happy going back to their bed, that works. My cousin will march her kids back to their beds and sit on the floor for hours waiting for them to fall back asleep. I am all, dude, if my kid took hours to fall back asleep I would die! But I think for all her talk of sleep training and how to do it, it obviously wasn't done right if her kid takes hours to get back to sleep right? Also my family was the crazy hippy family who bed shared forever. Even as teenagers, it was common for me and my sister to go snuggle our mom in the morning. We would just talk and hang out in her and my dads bed. Some people think that is weird lol, but I loved it! I dunno, I wouldn't say I stress, but my kid doesn't sleep in my bed (exception being if he gets up earlier than I want to in the actual morning, when the sun is up - then he lays with my for a while) I don't want him sleeping in my bed. if he has a bad dream I will happily snuggle him and lay with him in his bed for a few minutes, and I have laid with him if he was sick, but I don't want him barfing in my bed. I would rather camp out on the couch if need be.

also, since he never has, its not really an issue. to me its not a big deal to get up and walk him back to his bed if he gets up at night. I would rather encourage him to be comfortable in his own bed. I'm selfish like that

Keeptruckin · May 2014

Okay my comment got mixed up with the quote lol!

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