People who announce super early

SummerB0607 · May 2014

I'm not talking about to just close friends and family, but the ones who announce all over facebook. I cringed a little a few weeks ago when someone announced and said she was 9 weeks. But that was nothing compared to today. This girl that did it today is only about 4 weeks. I really don't know why this bothers me so much, it's not my life. But it does. Does it bother anyone else when people go so public so soon? What are your thoughts on it?

Kristy774 · May 2014

Eh....I see younger people do this a lot, when I was 23 FB and myspace wasn't around but I'm pretty sure I told everyone right away. When I got pregnant again at 28, I waited and the past 2 times we waited, (the last time we waited until 12 weeks told everyone, FB included and I miscarried the NEXT day. But my sister in law is 23 and I'm pretty sure she put it on FB the day she peed!

kaimee27 · May 2014

I guess it doesn't really bother me. I figure they're just really excited. Unfortunately, loss can happen at any time-of course the risks are greater earlier on in pregnancy, but if they're will to risk having to tell everyone about early loss, then that's up to them.

nicnac817 · May 2014

I have a FB friend who announced by showing her positive test. When another FB friend asked her how far along she was her reply was "3 or 4 weeks". 9 weeks is normal. 3 to 4 is silly.

FirstBabyDoyle · May 2014

I have 3 preg co workers. One announced at six weeks and the other at seven and one came out to me yesterday at 5 weeks but not going public yet. I was perplexed by it. I waited until 13 weeks, but to each their own I guess.

SummerB0607 · May 2014

Well I know she didn't wait very long to try. She has three other children, her youngest being 8 months old. I think it bothers me because I know so much can go wrong. It is still their life and their child though and I always wish them the best whether they wait to tell or not.

Momma&babies · May 2014

I also cringe a little not because it bothers me but I've seen it at least three times where someone says super early on Facebook their pregnant then have to explain they miscarried. I only tell a select few I'm pregnant while im in the first trimester.

missnacholover · May 2014

I may side-eye but TETO. I wouldn't announce without at least having a doc appt to verify.

hjenni · May 2014

Momma&babies said:

I also cringe a little not because it bothers me but I've seen it at least three times where someone says super early on Facebook their pregnant then have to explain they miscarried. I only tell a select few I'm pregnant while im in the first trimester.

This. I just feel super nervous for the people who announce so early. If you do lose the baby and have to explain it to everyone on Facebook, it just makes it that much worse/harder.

Allisonville · May 2014

We told Facebook when I was like 9 and a half weeks soooooo no, doesn't bother me.

Although I would be fine not "announcing" until a baby showed up. My husband couldn't tell enough people fast enough. He was excited and it's his news too so whatev.

RachelC79 · May 2014

It worries me, but if they want to take the risk there's nothing I can say about it.

We still haven't told anyone outside our immediate families. I'm planning on calling my grandmother and aunt later this week, and DH will be calling aunts/uncles and cousins soon.

Dimples0101 · May 2014

Momma&babies said:
I also cringe a little not because it bothers me but I've seen it at least three times where someone says super early on Facebook their pregnant then have to explain they miscarried. I only tell a select few I'm pregnant while im in the first trimester.

This. It makes me nervous when people announce early because I had a m/c at 8w with my first pregnancy and I had planned on telling a bunch of people at a party less than a week later.

SummerB0607 · May 2014

I can understand the need for support. I always wish them well and sincerely hope everything turns out well. I did cringe a little at the 9 weeks but still don't think that's too bad. But at 4 weeks....like someone else said I would at least wait until a drs visit to confirm.

emoxymoose · May 2014

I'm happy for people who announce early, as it means they are excited and usually blind to the potential problems that lurk in the 1st tri. I'm always scared of another loss, and I'm elated for women who don't have to think about things like that.

mrsransom · May 2014

The only reason to not announce early is in case you miscarry so you don't have to explain that to everyone. If that possibility doesn't bother people & they are really excited & want to tell early anyway, why should anyone else care? If I miscarried, I wouldn't want to keep that a secret anyway. I feel certain that I would want to talk about it & get support. Others feel opposite of that & wouldn't want people to know, so they choose to wait longer just in case.

In addition to just being excited, a lot of people are REALLY sick & have trouble keeping it secret anyway. This was me. I was so tired of people asking what was wrong with me & being suspicious anyway. I ended up telling a bunch of coworkers & friends at like 5-6 weeks, & went public after a good ultrasound around 8 weeks. It was a relief to not have to hide feeling like crap all the time & make excuses to my friends about why I was missing things. Plus, honestly, we had tried for close to 3 years & were told it would never happen on our own. No way on earth we could have kept it a secret until now!!!

musicalmommy3 · May 2014

missnacholover said:
I may side-eye but TETO. I wouldn't announce without at least having a doc appt to verify.

This is me exactly. I personally wouldn't do it but that's just me.

Nfranco973 · May 2014

It doesn't bother me. Loss can happen at anytime. Whether you spill the beans at 4 weeks or 20 weeks. You just enjoy it and pray. ThAts all you can do. The rest unfortunately is not in our hands.

sAAmFam · May 2014

I tell pretty early only because people can tell I'm pregnant that early. My boss has called it out 3 times by 7 weeks. I bloat quick and can't wear my clothes. I was in maternity pants by 8 weeks. Maybe because short. I'm pretty big right now and it's all belly and boobs. I got a glimpse of my reflection in a window and about screamed!

tinkerbell1658 · May 2014

I cringe. My coworker announced as soon as she found out. I was also a lil jealous, i guess because a) she felt that confident to share that early b) she got to be naive and not have the anxiety of having a loss , im asumming and c) i wanna tell people too but im too nervous yet

mussalynn · May 2014

A good friend of ours who lost her baby at 20 weeks got pregnant again about 6 months later and told everyone immediately (like the day after her BFP). Some people cringed, but she explained it in a beautiful way that really stuck with me. When they lost their first baby it was incredibly difficult but they were very open about it with everyone and spoke about it freely, and in return received an outpouring of support, which made their healing process so much better. When she got pregnant again, she said even if she lost this one, she wanted everyone to know about, get excited about and love the baby while it was growing inside her, not after the fact if something were to happen. (She had a beautiful baby girl, in case you were wondering)

I thought that was such an amazing concept that we announced ours pretty early this time to family & friends because I too want everyone to be excited about and love our baby regardless of whether it makes it or not.

abbyful · May 2014

I figure some people want the support no matter what happens.

One of my Facebook friends (friend from high school) always announces really early, like the pee probably isn't even dry on the stick yet. She's had a m/c too so had to "untell" that one, but the next 2 pregnancies she still announced just as early.

RedBirdFly · May 2014

I don't really care. Its the people that announce they are pregnant as a joke that get me.

I announced at 11 weeks. I'm pretty open and my FB is pretty much just extended family and close friends, so if something happened/happens, I would still tell FB.

Sarahbeth612 · May 2014

@mussalynn that is fantastic... I love it.

We announced very early with DD. I was 21 and didn't think bad things would happen to me. Somewhere on myspace there are belly pictures starting at 6 weeks!

But now, knowing what I know, I do think some things are too early for some people to know. Like, a girl I work with who has no filter whatsoever tells her clients when her last period was and that she and her husband are trying, so maybe she should get a pregnancy test. I'm sorry, but I don't want to hear that, and I can't imagine anyone getting their hair done wants to hear that either.

mrsodonnell12 · May 2014

I think its a really personal decision and no matter how early or late you announce should never be judged.

kimberly_ann81 · May 2014

To each their own as long as they are willing to unannounced incase of a miscarriage. I've known 3 people who announced at 6 or 8 and then a few weeks later had to tell everyone they miscarried. I prefer to wait until we hear the heartbeat at the 12 week appointment.

With Sweet Pea we waited to FB until after my ultrasound around 10 or 11 weeks. Our family knew at about 6 or 8 weeks.

Peanut was announced before I even when to the OB to confirm. My mother had asked if "the rabbit died". I had no idea what she was talking about so that next month I figured I was safe to post about the dead rabbit. Evidently everyone knows about it besides me. Oh,well.

This time we/I waited until 12 weeks except for a few people we told early; family, close friends, and my daycare moms.

absolutelymaybe · May 2014

Back before my infertility days, I probably wouldn't have thought anything about announcing early. I just didn't know any better. Knowing what I know now and seeing all the heartbreaking stories of early losses (and realizing just how common it is), I found myself waiting until 12 weeks. And I probably would've waited until after 12 weeks had we not had weekly ultrasounds assuring us this pregnancy was progressing normally.

crystaldh · May 2014

My parents and siblings knew right away. Grandparents, and good friends a few weeks later and then cousins just last week. These were all people that I would want to know if I miscarried. I still don't if I want to make a huge announcement on FB. I might at some point post a picture of me pregnant. I have too many random "friends," including exes (even my DH's ex), work people, etc. FB is a strange world. I don't have a problem with people who announce early. It's just not my cup of tea.

Kristil2014 · May 2014

I told a select few people right after I got my BFP (my mom, MIL, FIL and my BFF). Most of the family we told at 8 weeks. We did our FB announcement after our first ultrasound at 13 weeks.

I think people will announce when they feel ready too. I think that people are just so overjoyed and don't think about the whatifs. I personally have never experienced a loss, but I know a lot of women who have and having to explain your feelings on FB wouldn't be something I would want to do. (Even though a loss can happen at anytime. )

My DH wanted to tell the world at 6 weeks. I definitely wasn't ready at 6 weeks. I still was somewhat hesitant at 13 weeks to announce on FB. If I had my way I would have announced it on FB after my 20 week ultrasound.

moroccojade · May 2014

I have told a few co-workers, my parents, MIL/SIL/BIL, and a couple of close friends. That's it.

I had what seemed to be a really good NT screen today... but I still want to hear from my midwife that I am low risk for the trisomies before I announce wider. Having a miscarriage is one thing... but explaining to the world that you are terminating for medical reasons is another. Now that I am the age I am at (38... and a half....) I have decided to be a bit more cautious.

Kristil2014 · May 2014

moroccojade said:
Having a miscarriage is one thing... but explaining to the world that you are terminating for medical reasons is another. Now that I am the age I am at (38... and a half....) I have decided to be a bit more cautious.

If I were older I would be thinking the exact same thing.

moroccojade · May 2014

Kristil2014 said:

Having a miscarriage is one thing... but explaining to the world that you are terminating for medical reasons is another. Now that I am the age I am at (38... and a half....) I have decided to be a bit more cautious.
If I were older I would be thinking the exact same thing.

Thank you... I needed to hear that.

So many people say "I will love my baby no matter what." Well, TFMR means loving your baby very much, too. Loving them so much, in fact, that you want to spare them of pain, suffering, surgeries and a very low quality of life.

I also think of my daughter. What would her life be like with a very ill baby in the house? What if that sick child outlives me and my husband? Is it my decision to to place that sibling on her?

This is the crap a person thinks about this close to 40, friends. :P

JustJainey · May 2014

@maroccojade - You said exactly what I was thinking. At 41, it's seems like a whole different perspective.

lisaren · May 2014

I announced this baby at 9 weeks and I don't regret it at all. I've had the most amazing support from my Fb friends/family.
I don't have weird creepy people on Fb though, everyone on my Fb page are my friends, and I don't advertise every single thing, but a baby is a blessing and I never want it to be hidden.

lisaren · May 2014

Andplusalso: we heard the heartbeat before we announced. Saw the us twice. That's not a guarantee...
But everyone needs to do what they feel comfortable with. And not judge others.
I guess I'm confused why anyone would "cringe"??

Kristil2014 · May 2014

For me it wouldn't make me cringe, I just don't know if I would be able to express my feelings properly - I typically keep everything to myself. Which wouldn't be a good thing either.

SummerB0607 · May 2014

@lisaren maybe cringe is the wrong word. I don't know why the one at 9 weeks bothered me. Maybe because she is so young (18) and I want to kind of protect her from the bad things that could happen....also envious that she probably doesn't think about those things. The one at 4 weeks though....that's because I knew someone who had a false positive. I know that is rare but I always thought it made more sense to go to a dr first before sharing with absolutely everyone. And since this is a girl I just went to high school with and don't actually talk to I know she has more than just close friends and family on her fb. I am not judging her it's just not something that I personally would do.

Sometimes I have problems with my wording :-\

lisaren · May 2014

I do know this very sweet girl who posted on Fb she was pregnant right after she got the positive, two days later she posted she was bleeding. I felt sad for her because she was so naive and blissful and bam, life hits her. She was crushed.

colettey_37 · May 2014

I totally agree, i almost envy those people who are so excited and confident, i feel like im damaged now and wish i could have that blissful confidence. I know that with my loss in the fall i was so glad i didnt go public because the last thing i wanted was acquaintances that barely know me wanting to have a heart to heart. It was so hard to talk about and all i wanted for support was my close family and friends. Each to their own though but thats just how i feel.

carafern · May 2014

We told a few people right away, my sisters and waited a while for other close friends, around 8 weeks. I actually told a few less close people at week 12 that we were having twins, (how exciting is that?!) only to find out the next day that one twin had passed. The support from from close friends was great -- but telling less close people about the loss (my fitness class instructor, my grad coordinator, who I had specific reasons for telling) was a little awkward for me. I felt really dumb for telling them. One of them had even asked how far along I was when I told her (I was 12 weeks) "because you're not supposed to tell before 12 weeks," thanks announcing police! Maybe that's why I felt weird about it afterwards.

I have not announced on fb and am not sure if I will, maybe closer to 20 weeks. Still, I don't judge anyone who does. The pee stick is a bit much though:)

creativesoul83 · May 2014

It irritates me when they do it early. I had a friend come to my pharmacy to fill a script then told me yeah I am 5 wks..Granted she didn't know I had just lost a third. I just smiled. Another girl I work with announced immediately and rubbed it in my face.

I am happily 14w5days. I still haven't announced it on social media other then here. I am good with that

hpooh · May 2014

I announced at 5wks because everyone was already along for the ride(ultrasounds, clomid, Metformin). Plus I work in the l&d department and no matter how far along you are doesn't necessarily mean you will leave the hospital with a baby. So I figured I would want their support whether it was for good or bad news.

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