Crazy pregnant friend with no clue.

musicalmommy3 · May 2014

Hello everyone.

I need some advice before I freak out on a friend. Just a little history of the situation. I have been on rest with a subchronic hemmorage and I have been told I am high risk. I go in every 5-7 days to see if it is shrunk and I am told I am at a high risk for a miscarriage, preterm labour, etc. It's been stressful but I feel blessed every day I am pregnant.

On the weekend I hosted a baby shower for my friend. I have kept my pregnancy a secret as of yet except for her, our family, and a few select friends. We had a great day. I worked my butt off to give her a great shower, because I wanted to! We did crafts including making baby head bands

we had great food, and she got amazing gifts.

So my sister called me and my other close friend who knows about my complicated pregnancy saying the girl we had the shower for was telling everyone she wishes it would have been longer but she left early cause I was sitting down on a chair and looked like all I wanted to do was nap. WTF excuse me? I hosted your damn shower while I'm supposed to be resting and sat down while you opened gifts and while we were talking. I'm SO sorry. I let it go 'cause I didn't want to confront her. She should have known why I was sitting down. She knows everything that's going on with me. And I had a smile on my face and was hospitable the entire time.

Fast forward to a half an hour ago to when she asks me for any of DS's extra clothes and baby stuff we aren't going to be using for the next year. (She's having a girl). And I said I didn't think she wanted any boy stuff. And then she replied, 'we are already collecting stuff for our next one, we want to have them really close together'. Ummm what?!?

Attached is a picture of the crafts we did. Everyone had fun... But her apparently!

hiketheworld · May 2014

Jeez. I'd be pretty darn mad if I were you. I probably wouldn't be giving her any of my stuff after that

absolutelymaybe · May 2014

Wow. First off let me say I'm sorry for everything you are going through. I think you're a great friend that you managed to throw an awesome baby shower for your friend despite dealing with your own stressful situation. And to that friend: WTF? So what if you were sitting down and looking like you were wanting to nap? She's pregnant! She should know how it is! (I'm pretty sure that's how I always look, btw). You have a reason and then some to be taking it easy.

I'm a little confused as to why she wants your DS's clothes since you are going to be having a baby before her next baby. Unless you know you're having a girl, it very well could be a boy. Did I miss something? Is she just assuming you won't have a baby? Because if that's the case that's royally effed up.

*edit for typo*

Momma&babies · May 2014

Ugh I'm sorry that sucks! She should of been thankful for all you did. I wouldn't give her any of your DS stuff if she's having a girl. I would just say nicely you are keeping it in case you have another boy but you will keep her in mind if she ever has a boy.

jibell · May 2014

I would tell her where to go and how to get there... But then again I am hormonal with very little patience for stupid people...

musicalmommy3 · May 2014

absolutelymaybe said:
Wow. First off let me say I'm sorry for everything you are going through. I think you're a great friend that you managed to throw an awesome baby shower for your friend despite dealing with your own stressful situation. And to that friend: WTF? So what if you were sitting down and looking like you were wanting to nap? She's pregnant! She should know how it is! (I'm pretty sure that's how I always look, btw). You have a reason and then some to be taking it easy.
I'm a little confused as to why she wants your DS's clothes since you are going to be having a baby before her next baby. Unless you know you're having a girl, it very well could be a boy. Did I miss something? Is she just assuming you won't have a baby? Because if that's the case that's royally effed up.

*edit for typo*

Thanks for the reply. I have no idea what I'm having. All she knows is there is a chance that mine won't have a happy ending. I am so confused at how she could be so rude.

Maelara · May 2014

Holy shit...wow! Then the icing on the cake... She's collecting stuff for the NEXT baby while she is still pregnant? It's not like you could use any of that stuff or anything 0.o

absolutelymaybe · May 2014

musicalmommy3 said:

Wow. First off let me say I'm sorry for everything you are going through. I think you're a great friend that you managed to throw an awesome baby shower for your friend despite dealing with your own stressful situation. And to that friend: WTF? So what if you were sitting down and looking like you were wanting to nap? She's pregnant! She should know how it is! (I'm pretty sure that's how I always look, btw). You have a reason and then some to be taking it easy.
I'm a little confused as to why she wants your DS's clothes since you are going to be having a baby before her next baby. Unless you know you're having a girl, it very well could be a boy. Did I miss something? Is she just assuming you won't have a baby? Because if that's the case that's royally effed up.

*edit for typo*
Thanks for the reply. I have no idea what I'm having. All she knows is there is a chance that mine won't have a happy ending. I am so confused at how she could be so rude.

Yeah ok. I'd probably just throat punch her.

musicalmommy3 · May 2014

KUinCBUS said:
Hells no.

I don't know what to call the pregnant equivalent of a "bridezilla" is but she is it!

You did something kind (not to mention above and beyond, considering what you have been going through) and her behavior is bratty (to say the least).

I wouldn't initiate contact, I would wait for her to come to her senses and call to apologize.

This is exactly how I feel. Oh and by the way I was her maid of honour and she was the biggest.bridezilla.ever. Sad thing is I don't even think she thinks she's done anything wrong.

Maelara · May 2014

absolutelymaybe said:

musicalmommy3 said:

Wow. First off let me say I'm sorry for everything you are going through. I think you're a great friend that you managed to throw an awesome baby shower for your friend despite dealing with your own stressful situation. And to that friend: WTF? So what if you were sitting down and looking like you were wanting to nap? She's pregnant! She should know how it is! (I'm pretty sure that's how I always look, btw). You have a reason and then some to be taking it easy.
I'm a little confused as to why she wants your DS's clothes since you are going to be having a baby before her next baby. Unless you know you're having a girl, it very well could be a boy. Did I miss something? Is she just assuming you won't have a baby? Because if that's the case that's royally effed up.

*edit for typo*
Thanks for the reply. I have no idea what I'm having. All she knows is there is a chance that mine won't have a happy ending. I am so confused at how she could be so rude.

Yeah ok. I'd probably just throat punch her.

Yeah, this.

ktibbits1 · May 2014

I'm totally a non confrontational person so I doubt I'd say anything either, but I'd be pissed if I were you! Talk about ungrateful. Is that her personality normally? I'm glad everyone else had a good time at least. Hope the rest of your pregnancy goes smoothly!

TeeJ526 · May 2014

Why are some women just plain BSC? Something tells me something wasn't quite right with her even before she got pregnant. I'm so sorry for what you're going through and then having to deal with your friend on top of it.

musicalmommy3 · May 2014

ktibbits1 said:
I'm totally a non confrontational person so I doubt I'd say anything either, but I'd be pissed if I were you! Talk about ungrateful. Is that her personality normally? I'm glad everyone else had a good time at least. Hope the rest of your pregnancy goes smoothly!

Thanks so much. And ya looking back she's always been this way. It's my own fault for putting up with it.

musicalmommy3 · May 2014

WildFlower810 said:
Wait, you put up with Worst.Bridezilla.Ever and THEN threw her a baby shower, *while* pregnant with a complicated situation yourself? Girl, go buy yourself a "best friend in the whole wide world" plaque. Mount it on your wall.

As for friend... well... I wish her the best, I guess. You can relax from here on out, and keep all your girl clothes.

You are too sweet. You ladies are the best.

TXSparky · May 2014

Wow! That is just awful! I don't think I would speak to her for a while if it were me. It sounds like you tried to do something nice to her and she is lacking some basic kindness assuming you won't need your baby things. You don't need that kind of stress!

moroccojade · May 2014

Well, she is a real turd.

I think I would be done with her for a while. Geez. How entitled can she be?

musicalmommy3 · May 2014

Man I love N14. You guys rock.

Thanks @KUinCBUS‌ for the sweet message! @TXSparky‌ I think I will take your advice and distance myself for a bit.

musicalmommy3 · May 2014

moroccojade said:
Well, she is a real turd.

I think I would be done with her for a while. Geez. How entitled can she be?

Yes. She is very entitled. She has come to expect things now that's for sure.

maebee87 · May 2014

Wooooow. First of all, you are an awesome friend for throwing the shower for her with all your going through. I can't believe she is putting you down like that after all your efforts.

I wouldn't confront her unless she makes the comment directly to you, otherwise its a she said/he said thing that causes more issues.

As for your baby stuff.... Keep it for your baby! Or Just say you have promised them to someone else, so sorry, maybe just enjoy all the gifts you just got?

I would be taking a break from that friend for a while, she seems really selfish.

Oh and that baby headband craft station was ADORABLE!

emoxymoose · May 2014

jibell said:

I would tell her where to go and how to get there... But then again I am hormonal with very little patience for stupid people...

I would definitely silent treatment her ass and then when she came crawling back wondering what was wrong I would do this ^^^.

lizgrace03 · May 2014

moroccojade said:
Well, she is a real turd.

I think I would be done with her for a while. Geez. How entitled can she be?

Amen, preach! People like that don't deserve your time.

hiketheworld · May 2014

You know, since you heard some of this through the grapevine and you are clearly friends at least until now, I'd probably send her an email telling her how hearing those comments made you feel. You have every right to be upset and hurt. In order to move past this in your friendship, I'd flat out tell her what she did wrong. If she reacts poorly and doesn't sincerely apologize, then I would get some distance from that toxic friendship.

mommymeg143 · May 2014

.

maebee87 said:
Wooooow. First of all, you are an awesome friend for throwing the shower for her with all your going through. I can't believe she is putting you down like that after all your efforts.
I wouldn't confront her unless she makes the comment directly to you, otherwise its a she said/he said thing that causes more issues.
As for your baby stuff.... Keep it for your baby! Or Just say you have promised them to someone else, so sorry, maybe just enjoy all the gifts you just got?
I would be taking a break from that friend for a while, she seems really selfish.
Oh and that baby headband craft station was ADORABLE!

I was thinking the same thing!! She just had a shower for THIS baby!! Why not enjoy what she received and worry about the next later?

I'm sorry for what you've been through so far. T&P for you and your sweet baby!!

Sarahbeth612 · May 2014

In all seriousness, I would keep some distance and/or explain to her that you've done your best to be a supportive friend and make sure she had a great shower...but you need to start taking better care of yourself, make you an your baby's health priority, and hope she understands. That puts the ball in her court to start making an effort, and if not, her loss.

xiaopeapod · May 2014

Really sorry for what you're going through. Reading this has really infuriated me. The nerve! I am an I confrontational person myself and sadly do have friends that I don't even know why I bother to put up with. Even so, someone so ungrateful and inconsiderate is truly not worthy of your time. I am afraid she's probably always been like that and not afraid to take advantage of you just because you allowed her. I say tell her that she can buy her own stuff. And that she might have another girl anyway. Good luck!

RedBirdFly · May 2014

What a maternasaurus <---pregnant version of bridezilla.

I want to make you cookies. You need cookies. Also, your friend needs to pull her head out of her butt and realize how wonderful you are.

mrsransom · May 2014

That is TERRIBLE! I am so sorry. I would definitely be confronting her & I would NOT be nice about it!!! :-/ She should be grateful that you are such a great friend & did all that hard work...she sounds like a gem.

missnacholover · May 2014

What a bitch.

I'd keep distance/be cold and when she asks why tell her that you heard that she wasn't thrilled with her shower despite your hard work while you are dealing with your own rough pregnancy.

And tell her you won't be giving her any boy stuff until she has a son. WTF is that BS?

jlaferne · May 2014

musicalmommy3 said:
Hello everyone.

I need some advice before I freak out on a friend. Just a little history of the situation. I have been on rest with a subchronic hemmorage and I have been told I am high risk. I go in every 5-7 days to see if it is shrunk and I am told I am at a high risk for a miscarriage, preterm labour, etc. It's been stressful but I feel blessed every day I am pregnant.

On the weekend I hosted a baby shower for my friend. I have kept my pregnancy a secret as of yet except for her, our family, and a few select friends. We had a great day. I worked my butt off to give her a great shower, because I wanted to! We did crafts including making baby head bands we had great food, and she got amazing gifts.

So my sister called me and my other close friend who knows about my complicated pregnancy saying the girl we had the shower for was telling everyone she wishes it would have been longer but she left early cause I was sitting down on a chair and looked like all I wanted to do was nap. WTF excuse me? I hosted your damn shower while I'm supposed to be resting and sat down while you opened gifts and while we were talking. I'm SO sorry. I let it go 'cause I didn't want to confront her. She should have known why I was sitting down. She knows everything that's going on with me. And I had a smile on my face and was hospitable the entire time.

Fast forward to a half an hour ago to when she asks me for any of DS's extra clothes and baby stuff we aren't going to be using for the next year. (She's having a girl). And I said I didn't think she wanted any boy stuff. And then she replied, 'we are already collecting stuff for our next one, we want to have them really close together'. Ummm what?!?

Attached is a picture of the crafts we did. Everyone had fun... But her apparently!

Sounds like a leech friend. She's not having a boy so dont give her your stuff. She may never have a boy anyways and "you rather keep on to it just in case".

I would talk to your friend about the shower situation and make sure the real story didn't get lost along the way.. It doesn't seem like she'd think to leave shower early bc u sat down. I'd find out what really happened by talking to your friend before assuming what your other friends said is 100% accurate.

hjenni · May 2014

Wow she sounds delightful. I'm sorry that happened to you. If it were me, I would tell her how I felt. She sounds incredibly selfish. And then to ask for baby clothes for the next one??!! That's just a weird thing to do. And like @nacholover said, complete bs.

kaimee27 · May 2014

WOW! First of all, she owes you a huge thank-you for the shower, and an apology for being such a selfish beech. I agree with @jlaferne that you should definitely make sure nothing was lost in translation and that she wasn't just saying that she had such a great time she would have loved for it to keep going but didn't want to be inconsiderate to you or something like that. That being said, I can't believe how selfish and brazen she is to ask you for your baby's things!! I wouldn't give her so much as a sock. I think you've already given her more than enough!! I think pregzilla is the term we're looking for here.

musicalmommy3 · May 2014

Hey! I actually had already decided I wanted to confirm if she had said these things about the shower and me before getting too upset. Yes what I was told said is 100% what she said. She needs a bit of a wake up call.

hjenni · May 2014

musicalmommy3 · May 2014

Hahahaha @hjenni.

brooklyngirl18 · May 2014

musicalmommy3 said:

Wow. First off let me say I'm sorry for everything you are going through. I think you're a great friend that you managed to throw an awesome baby shower for your friend despite dealing with your own stressful situation. And to that friend: WTF? So what if you were sitting down and looking like you were wanting to nap? She's pregnant! She should know how it is! (I'm pretty sure that's how I always look, btw). You have a reason and then some to be taking it easy.
I'm a little confused as to why she wants your DS's clothes since you are going to be having a baby before her next baby. Unless you know you're having a girl, it very well could be a boy. Did I miss something? Is she just assuming you won't have a baby? Because if that's the case that's royally effed up.

*edit for typo*
Thanks for the reply. I have no idea what I'm having. All she knows is there is a chance that mine won't have a happy ending. I am so confused at how she could be so rude.

this is insane!!! she's asking for your ds stuff and other baby stuff for her NEXT baby while you're pregnant with maybe a boy??? i would seriously reconsider this friendship. it seems you went above and beyond for her while you are going through your own struggles and she has the nerve to talk shit about you behind your back? i am so sorry she sounds awful. i hope everything goes smoothly for you and LO going forward. FX

kaimee27 · May 2014

Just because @hjenni made me think of dinosaurs:

Edit: because technology is hard.

Melissa2216 · May 2014

I would confront her about the shower and about what you heard...not in a mean way, if possible. Maybe something got lost in translation and maybe she was actually saying she left early because you needed to rest or whatever. Maybe she wasn't mad.

As for the request for boy stuff, wtf? What kind of cray cray hoarder does that? No, you don't get to use this pregnancy as an excuse to collect stuff for future babies you may or may not have. That's just weird.

mussalynn · May 2014

Even though I'm not really a Big Bang fan, I thought this was appropriate....

Nfranco973 · May 2014

Let me just say that she sounds really ungrateful. If she knew your situation, she should have understood. I would steer clear of her.

Maelara · May 2014

musicalmommy3 said:

Hey! I actually had already decided I wanted to confirm if she had said these things about the shower and me before getting too upset. Yes what I was told said is 100% what she said. She needs a bit of a wake up call.

Good for you! Did she say why she was so rude? I've seriously been angry for you all day.

dbgwife · May 2014

musicalmommy3 said:
Hello everyone.

I need some advice before I freak out on a friend. Just a little history of the situation. I have been on rest with a subchronic hemmorage and I have been told I am high risk. I go in every 5-7 days to see if it is shrunk and I am told I am at a high risk for a miscarriage, preterm labour, etc. It's been stressful but I feel blessed every day I am pregnant.

On the weekend I hosted a baby shower for my friend. I have kept my pregnancy a secret as of yet except for her, our family, and a few select friends. We had a great day. I worked my butt off to give her a great shower, because I wanted to! We did crafts including making baby head bands we had great food, and she got amazing gifts.

So my sister called me and my other close friend who knows about my complicated pregnancy saying the girl we had the shower for was telling everyone she wishes it would have been longer but she left early cause I was sitting down on a chair and looked like all I wanted to do was nap. WTF excuse me? I hosted your damn shower while I'm supposed to be resting and sat down while you opened gifts and while we were talking. I'm SO sorry. I let it go 'cause I didn't want to confront her. She should have known why I was sitting down. She knows everything that's going on with me. And I had a smile on my face and was hospitable the entire time.

Fast forward to a half an hour ago to when she asks me for any of DS's extra clothes and baby stuff we aren't going to be using for the next year. (She's having a girl). And I said I didn't think she wanted any boy stuff. And then she replied, 'we are already collecting stuff for our next one, we want to have them really close together'. Ummm what?!?

Attached is a picture of the crafts we did. Everyone had fun... But her apparently!

I am so sorry you're having someone treat you this way!! What gets me is the sense of entitlement!!!! I cannot stand people who believe they are owed things for NO reason!! Your stuff is YOUR stuff!!! She might have a boy next so she deserves your things??!

Not only this, but She knows what you're going through and had the nerve to poo poo all your efforts!! Screw her!! I'd give her plenty of space. If she asks where you've been and why you haven't reached out tell her! How hurtful!!

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