Community› The Bump Month Clubs› October 2013 Moms
October 2013 Moms
New Discussion

#teamnosex

2»

Re: #teamnosex

  • jennlinjennlin member
    trackgirlparis said:

    jennlin said:

    trackgirlparis said:

    Shall I start a poll?

    #pollallthethings


    #waitingpatientlyforyourpoll

    @chelseyestelle
    G was a brat last night. Just logged on again now...sorry! Should I make one? I just saw @Connorsmama2006‌ made one about importance. I was going to make one about what is "a lot of sex" or something similar.

    ETA: Answered my own question but the poll is confusing as fuck.
    #sorryguise
    Lol no, it looks like it was my bad. Wrong tag haha. Yes, start a poll!



    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • Jalee85Jalee85 member
    23Melissa28 said:

    I've said this before, but I mean, the not enough time thing, I just feel like you can get 20 minutes in SOMEWERE. Same goes for being tired.

    And then I'm curious too, serious question, do you guys think your husbands/SOs are truly ok with it, or just pretend they are? Does it make a difference to you either way?

    My XH wanted it constantly, I didn't want shit to do with it. BUT, I also didnt give a fuck about how he felt, and wasn't interested in making him happy, as he was a selfish piece of shit in every other part of our marriage.

    With my BF now, there have only been a couple times I really didnt feel like it, but I took one for the team, because I enjoy pleasing him. And he is an amazing man. Ill happily throw him some ass, even if I'm not totally in the mood.

    Well my DH really doesn't ask all the time. I've denied him a few times, but it's because he picks horrible timing, and can't stay awake long enough at night, for me to be able to put the baby to sleep.
    April2014 Siggy Challenge - Bunnies
    image
    imageimageimage     
    imageimage


    Report Reply
  • Jenball717Jenball717 member
    I'm not team no sex but it's mainly because I have made a conscious effort to get it on. I know MH's love language is physical touch so it's pretty important to him. Yes, I'm tired and stressed and sick of being touched and horribly low in the self esteem department, but once we get started I usually enjoy myself and wonder why we don't do it more often. And quickies don't take much away from my sleep (certainly not even 20 minutes!).

    However, if I didn't know how important it was to MH, I would probably say screw it and not even try.

    #seewhatididthere
    Report Reply
  • carawasacarawasa member
    I don't have an excuse. I've been with my FI for 10 years...of course sex is important but sometimes (most of the time) you don't want to do anything. Just sit there and turn your brain off for a little, then it's time for bed. I guess we go in spurts and it makes up for lost time.
                image
                                          image
    Report Reply
  • carawasacarawasa member
    Jenball717 said:

    Yes, I'm tired and stressed and sick of being touched and horribly low in the self esteem department, but once we get started I usually enjoy myself and wonder why we don't do it more often. And quickies don't take much away from my sleep (certainly not even 20 minutes!).

    I totally agree!
                image
                                          image
    Report Reply
  • sooner1981sooner1981 member
    ElleStaxx said:

    sooner1981 said:

    ElleStaxx said:

    NRyan55 said:

    sooner1981 said:

    I have been on both sides of this table (bed?) After our daughter was born, in addition to extreme newborn exhaustion, sex hurt. It turns out I had granulation, which my ob burned off. Still didn't feel "good." So my ob recommended topical vaginal estrogen cream called estrace (sp?) to get things back to normal down there. It heals and brings moisture back, makes skin more stretchy, etc. she said she swore by it after she had her kids and was still breastfeeding.

    I was skeptical and didn't try it and so I "enjoyed" not good sex two or three times a month for the first year. Relationship was still pretty good--husband was understanding and we were both just crazy busy.

    After a year, we decided to start trying for number two, since it took us about five or six months the first time around. Well, bam--got pregnant literally the first time after I had stopped the mini pill.

    So, fast forward to after our son was born, with another multiple set of second degree tears. I was sick and tired of feeling so depleted and so I asked my ob for a sample of that vaginal estrogen cream at my six week visit, after grilling her for about 20 minutes on every possible health concern associated with that and breastfeeding and overall breast health.

    It turns out, I didn't need it this time around. I healed much better this time around and sex is fun again, which of course means there is more of it and I initiate sometimes. Why initiate if you know it is just going to be uncomfortable?

    But if I hadn't realized I didn't need it early on, I would have been all over that estrogen cream, just because you deserve to have good sex. And if exhaustion is the issue, maybe try doing it at naptime? Our most likely guaranteed time is on the weekend at afternoon naptime. We are like a well-practiced team of ninjas trying to get those kids down at the same time and then sneaking back to the bedroom.

    After seeing both sides, relationships really are better when good sex is involved. I really think it makes you focus less on the smaller potentially-annoying things and strengthens the teamwork feeling in the relationship.

    But this is just one perspective on a topic with so many different variables.

    OMG SOONER!!!

    image
    OMG @NRyan55‌ I wanted to say it so bad!!! Sorry sooner :(
    It's cool--just one of those subjects that I have a lot of feels about. I don't comment on every post, but I post more words on the ribbons that interest me...

    Feel free to skip--no hard feelings!! :)
    You intrigued me. I went back and read it. I like the ninja nap time. We have that going on in our house. Between a puppy under 2 and a baby sometimes it takes ninja to get it in!! (Literally).
    Yeah, I just don't feel sexy at bedtime. The only thing I want to feel at bedtime are the delicious sheets and my soft pillow. But at 1 PM, I have a little more energy for it, which makes it infinitely more fun!
    Report Reply
  • RedZeeRedZee member
    @sooner1981‌ you get both your kids to nap at the same time on weekends? ?!?!! DH was fantasizing about that on Saturday. It happened today but only when we were stuck in traffic. And only after both Kids were whining for 40 minutes.


         
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    DD1: born 1/19/11. DD2: born 10/10/13
    Report Reply
  • sooner1981sooner1981 member
    RedZee said:

    @sooner1981‌ you get both your kids to nap at the same time on weekends? ?!?!! DH was fantasizing about that on Saturday. It happened today but only when we were stuck in traffic. And only after both Kids were whining for 40 minutes.


    Not every weekend. But we really try to at least get some overlap. Sometimes it is only 20 minutes, sometimes an hour--we will take what we get at this point!
    Report Reply
  • AmandagStarkAmandagStark member
    I'm just not interested, I've never been super sexual (I think I have a small mental block about it), but the times we've attempted (3x since birth of LO) it feels "pinchy" and not good! :(
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • jennlinjennlin member
    crunchymama11 said:

    another theme I'm noticing is number of kids. A lot of the FTMs and moms of older kids are having #allthesex, but more moms with 2 or more littles are on #teamnosex. I spend all day either feeding, cleaning, changing, entertaining, or putting to sleep one or both kiddos. I don't get squat done during the day so I have a lot of stuff to do at night or when DH is off

    I noticed this too which is why I made the poll about number of kids. But I made a bad poll and @lee81 is going to fix it, since we don't know the actual percentage of FTM or STM.


    Report Reply
  • Lee81Lee81 member
    jennlin said:

    crunchymama11 said:

    another theme I'm noticing is number of kids. A lot of the FTMs and moms of older kids are having #allthesex, but more moms with 2 or more littles are on #teamnosex. I spend all day either feeding, cleaning, changing, entertaining, or putting to sleep one or both kiddos. I don't get squat done during the day so I have a lot of stuff to do at night or when DH is off

    I noticed this too which is why I made the poll about number of kids. But I made a bad poll and @lee81 is going to fix it, since we don't know the actual percentage of FTM or STM.
    @jennlin‌ Oops! I forgot. Shame on me. Poll coming up :-B
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • tpealetpeale member
    bkeane619 said:

    Im just totally uninterested and tired. I'm lucky if I get an hour a day to myself before I go to bed and frankly, I want to do what I want which usually consists of bumpbooking, watching a tv show or reading.

    This exactly!!!
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"