EARLY mornings...wwyd?

jonesie2010 · May 2014

DD is almost 14 months. Just before her birthday, we cut out the MOTN bottle, which was usually around 1 or 2 a.m. Since then she has been sleeping from about 7 p.m. to 4 a.m. At first I thought the early mornings were a sleep regression or something so I just went with it, usually trying to rock her back to sleep or let her sleep on my shoulder for a couple of hours.

But it's been going on long enough that I don't think I can blame it on a regression anymore. Lately we've gotten into the habit of feeding her breakfast at 4 a.m., usually Cheerios and milk, and then putting her back in her crib. Most days, she will go back to sleep for an hour or two after eating. I can't shake the feeling that I'm perpetuating a bad habit, but that seems to be the strategy that gets everyone the most sleep.

We tried CIO for a couple of days. It worked like a charm when we got rid of the night bottle but I just don't feel right about it for this situation. The days we tried it, she would cry for an hour or more and then sleep for just 45 min and be back up again. Plus, It seems pointless to lay awake listening to her cry at 5 a.m. when we get up for work at 6 anyway. I tried giving her a sippy cup of milk in her room when she wakes up, but she just pushes it away and points to the doorway. We've never bed shared but I'm sure she would refuse sleeping with us as well. And it doesn't matter what time she goes to bed or has her last meal. She wakes at 4, almost on the dot, regardless. We've tried bedtime snacks, earlier bedtimes, later bedtimes.

I know that insufficient daytime naps can cause early wake ups, and it's true that DD probably does not nap enough. She's never been a good napper but we can't force the kid to sleep. Daycare has tried EVERYTHING to get her to nap more, to no avail. It used to be that I could get her to nap more at home on the weekends, but now not even that works. She is down to one nap a day, around noon. On a good day she will nap for 1.5 hours but some days it's just 45 min.

Sorry for the novel but I wanted to give you the background. What else can I try? Is this normal? Have I made a horrible parenting mistake by starting the habit of food at 4 a.m.? Will I still be feeding by kid Cheerios by moonlight when she's 15?

ashiscute · May 2014

I would not give breakfast at 4am either. Once or twice per week DS will wake up at 530 or 6 instead of closer to 645- 7. We do not give him breakfast any earlier than if he slept till normal time. I usually go in there give him his lovey (which he has just thrown on the floor) and maybe a board book or two and then go back to bed. We don't get him out before about 630.

She might legitimately be hungry if you have been feeding her so you might need to slowly cut back on what you are giving.

cedenton · May 2014

It's possible she really is hungry. I would start by trying a little bedtime snack before lights out. If that doesn't help, then I would give her a sippy of milk when she wakes MOTN or too early.

My DS is a really good sleeper, but he has times where he's up in the MOTN every now and then for a period of days (or once for a few months). I would always give him a warm sippy of milk, no lights on, no talking, etc. He's always fall back asleep and I'd put him back down.

I can't tell you that is what your child will do, but I can tell you I would NOT be giving breakfast at 4am. Either give her a sippy of warm milk or let her CIO. Be consistent.

honeydew01 · May 2014

My DD used to sleep til 6:45 or 7 but for the last 3 days she has been getting up super early. Last night she woke up at 4:20 then fell back sleep and woke up again at 5:50 and tossed and turned a lot but didn't fall back sleep. I don't know what it is either, she has done this before and it went away on its own.

I thought maybe it's the temperature (we live in Seattle and it's been warm the last few days) so I had a fan in her room last night and kept the temperature to what she is used to and she still woke up early so I'm thinking it's not the temperature. I don't feed her if she wakes up early, we ate breakfast at 7 today, like usual, but my kid is not crazy about eating anyway.

I would not feed him breakfast at 4. I'd rock him, give him a sippy of water, no lights on, no talking and try to get him back to sleep. Whatever it is, hopefully it'll pass for you and me. Kids are funny with sleep, as soon as you try to figure out why they're waking up or try to establish a pattern to their sleep, they change it up..

=Lee=B · May 2014

I find that children are naturally creatures of habit and for what ever reason your child started waking early. Could have been anything a car drove by one day, anything. But that the habit of waking at that time and you have fed that habit by engaging them and getting them up for the ay at 4am. Now your child assumes that is the start of the day.

You need to break the habit and make it clear that 4am is NOT an acceptable time to wake up. No lights, no talking, no leaving the room, preferably no leaving the crib. Give a solid snack right before bed to help her last through the night. Give some milk or bottle in the night but again no engaging and no lights. If she refuses the milk then she can't be that hungry. It will take time to break the habit of expecting breakfast though and it likely won't be fun for anyone.

My cousin will sometimes give her 18month old one of those baby purees pouches in the middle of the night is he wakes. Bad for the teeth yes, but it solves the hunger issue easily with no fuss as the child can slurp it down and go back to sleep. While I wouldn't recommend it nightly (due to teeth decay) it might be worthwhile to try that for a bit to get away from bringing your child out for breakfast at 4am.

As for your question "is this normal?" yes, waking up like this was normal, most kids try to do this at numerous points of time it is how the parents respond that sets the tone. Was it a mistake making a habit out of giving breakfast at 4am, yes it was. You'll need to retrain your child to sleep until real morning and retrain her body to wait until morning for breakfast. It will be a lot harder to retrain her now that it is habit!

jonesie2010 · May 2014

Thank you for the advice, ladies. This isn't going to be fun but you all are right. I appreciate the feedback.

emberlee3 · May 2014

DS was an early riser, before 5 a.m. like your LO. He didn't really stop until we tried an OK to wake clock at 2 yo. However, you can try a few of these:

Treat every waking before 6 a.m. as a night waking. Do whatever you would do at 1 or 2 a.m. Be 100% consistent.

Delay breakfast until 6 a.m. or later. Stomachs are programmable, so hunger signals occur at the same time every day. You want to delay the time that hunger is triggered.

Blackout curtains and white noise. We have very loud birds and sometimes construction vehicles or delivery trucks (urban neighborhood) early in the a.m.

Teething sometimes wakes children early.

I think there's a section in the Sleep Lady's book about early risers. Good luck. I know it is painful.

honeydew01 · May 2014

OP, just an update. I put DD to bed half an hour earlier last night (at 7 instead of 7:30) and figured I'll deal with the early wake up like the last 3 days. She slept in til 7 and didn't wake up early. I don't know if it's a fluke or not, but I do remember that when we previously had early wakings I'd put her to bed earlier so I thought I give it a try last night and it worked. I thought I let you know and see if you wanted to try an earlier bedtime and hopefully it'll help your son.

lana22 · May 2014

ha, was coming on to post that i think you should put her to bed early. read healthy sleep habits, happy child. some night/early wakings can be due to lack of sleep. both my kids went/go to bed 6:30/7 at that age.

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