UO? Rants? Happy Thursday!

jesuisfatiguee · May 2014

Let's liven things up!

Drea926 · May 2014

I mentioned this in the music thread but I can even expand upon it.

I don't mind kids' music. I am not bothered by loud, light up toys. I love kids' movies and think Sesame Street is pretty much awesome. I've babysat since I was 12, so these things have always been around me. I think they're all in good fun and it just doesn't get on my nerves the way they do for other people. :P

Drea926 · May 2014

lrtrauth said:

Drea926 said:

I mentioned this in the music thread but I can even expand upon it.
I don't mind kids' music. I am not bothered by loud, light up toys. I love kids' movies and think Sesame Street is pretty much awesome. I've babysat since I was 12, so these things have always been around me. I think they're all in good fun and it just doesn't get on my nerves the way they do for other people. :P

I do not agree with this no mo'. I used to love that show as a kid and I tried doing something different by letting DS watch it instead of his typical Baby Einstein episodes. I wanted to take a dull, rusty knife to my eyeballs.

As an English teacher I appreciate your colorful description.

brachysira · May 2014

I love Sesame Street. I like the older episodes where they have shorter bits more often. M does not like Abby's Flying Fairy School too much because it is a long and too much narrative. She does like any Elmo component even if it is long and a lot of talking.

SummerLove21 · May 2014

For the record, I don't know if there is anyone currently on this board I don't like, but as kleigh said yesterday, I am a selective love-hitter. I have to really, really like/agree with what you said or find it beyond humorous. But if I only like it and don't really, really like it, it doesn't mean I don't really, really like you!

Totally agree with @Sagen re: any purity commitment made to anyone but yourself and God. And I don't really need to know about it. Like, good for you (either way), but I don't really care.

Announcement: The sunglasses have been found!!! I went to the gym where my team practices last night and someone had found them! And although I was very, very happy, I was like...you knew I was looking for these (because the front desk girl stopped me at the door to let me know they were found)...you couldn't have called me when you found them???

But still...I can return the pair I can't afford and have my originals and no one (except all of you) needs to know about it! Whoo-hoo!!!

ETA: Also loving the "lovehit" as opposed to...the other word. LOL.

Drea926 · May 2014

@lrtrauth - The idea of my LT thread was for everyone to love everything! But yeah, I know not everyone did. Ah well!

@luxannie I would be your friend in a heartbeat!

Drea926 · May 2014

Sagen said:

Love ya Iratruth. Vent: i need to keep better track of my cycles. I hope my period starts soon so there is an explanation of why I want to crawl in bed and never come back out. Also why I am snapping at my poor kids who are trying to ruin my crawl back in bed for the remainder of my life plan. UO: this may or may not be unpopular, I guess it depends on who you are talking to, but purity balls sort of skeeve me out. I get the premisis, but I think if you are pledging to stay a virgin that should be a pledge you make to yourself. Your dad should pledge to honor and protect to just by virtue of being your dad. A daughter making a pledge to her dad to stay a virgin is just weird to me.

YES!

jesuisfatiguee · May 2014

pinesnow said:

Sagen said:

Love ya Iratruth. Vent: i need to keep better track of my cycles. I hope my period starts soon so there is an explanation of why I want to crawl in bed and never come back out. Also why I am snapping at my poor kids who are trying to ruin my crawl back in bed for the remainder of my life plan. UO: this may or may not be unpopular, I guess it depends on who you are talking to, but purity balls sort of skeeve me out. I get the premisis, but I think if you are pledging to stay a virgin that should be a pledge you make to yourself. Your dad should pledge to honor and protect to just by virtue of being your dad. A daughter making a pledge to her dad to stay a virgin is just weird to me.

Totally agree. its creepy and icky and weird.

I'm officially skeeved out, @Sagen. This goes back to the idea of fathers owning their daughters until they pass ownership over to their new husbands... which makes me twitchy.

SummerLove21 · May 2014

@luxannie - I would be your friend in a heartbeat. And I feel the exact same way. The other coach who has a six-month-old always comes over to my house to whine and complain about how hard her kid and her life is and never asks how I'm doing. And since she seems to be my only friend-friend in my town (I have a lot of "acquaintences"), it's all I got. My BFF is in Texas and shortly moving to Italy. Wah. I am guessing you are not in California either? ;-)

jesuisfatiguee · May 2014

UO - I kinda hate the word "Bumpapalooza."

Puck1182 · May 2014

brachysira said:
I love Sesame Street. I like the older episodes where they have shorter bits more often. M does not like Abby's Flying Fairy School too much because it is a long and too much narrative. She does like any Elmo component even if it is long and a lot of talking.

Old Sesame Street is sooooo much better. Not just for DD, but for me. I like the episodes from when Jim Henson and Richard Hunt were still alive and Frank Oz was still involved. Ah, the good old days...

My rant is that I do not understand my ILs. They bugged us for years to have a baby. We finally have one. But they don't see her NEARLY as much as you'd expect considering they live less than a mile from us. Last week my mom was out of town and couldn't watch DD on Thurs night like usual. DH had a show, so I either had to get someone to cover my library shift or get MIL or FIL to watch her. By the time MIL got back to DH my shift was covered. So I told DH to let her know that we didn't need a babysitter but MIL was more than welcome to still come visit us. But she didn't bother coming over at all.

I have to admit, I was baffled. They get upset because DD often cries when they hold her, but they don't take advantage of half the opportunities we give them to bond with her. I just don't get it.

brachysira · May 2014

I don't really think this is unpopular, but I am glad I am not a teen mom. Sometimes I think I should have had babies earlier so my body would be in better shape...but at the OBs office, there are a lot teen moms. And they always have their moms or sometimes whole families there...and these people are always telling the teen what to do...and they are just so young. Today, I heard the receptionist say, "since you turned 18, your mom doesn't sign forms for you anymore. Where is your ID? You didn't bring any kind of ID?" Phew. I remember when I didn't carry an ID and a health insurance card and a credit card and a back up credit card...and diapers, wipes, and mum mums and a sippy cup and extra pants and sunscreen, a sunhat, and sunglasses. Life is hard, and having a baby is hard, and I am really glad I had time to sort of practice life before I had to take care of a baby.

Drea926 · May 2014

It's Bumpa pa looza and it's a fantastic word. I coined it!

jesuisfatiguee · May 2014

Drea926 said:

It's Bumpa pa looza and it's a fantastic word. I coined it!

I love YOU. Doesn't that count for something???

wifeofadam · May 2014

Sagen said:

UO: this may or may not be unpopular, I guess it depends on who you are talking to, but purity balls sort of skeeve me out. I get the premisis, but I think if you are pledging to stay a virgin that should be a pledge you make to yourself. Your dad should pledge to honor and protect to just by virtue of being your dad. A daughter making a pledge to her dad to stay a virgin is just weird to me.

My DH has intentions of "dating" his daughter, as in investing his time in her in one-on-one "dates" with the intention of teaching her what to look for in a Godly man. He may or may not give her a purity ring. I would have loved something like that as a little girl.

I've watched documentaries on purity balls and while I don't think the concept is creepy, the people I saw in the documentary kind of were. I mean, I would have loved as a little girl getting dressed up in a ball gown and having a special night out with my Daddy where we celebrated how special I am and how precious the gift I have to give to my future spouse is. I would have eaten that stuff up and I know my daughters will, too. But when you tie your child's ENTIRE identity to their virginity, I think that's weird. I definitely hope my children (both girls AND boys) decide to save themselves for marriage, but I don't think their lives are over or their value is somehow diminished if they were to make a mistake.

FTR, DH also plans to "date" his sons, so there is nothing sexual about that idea. It's just the idea of getting one-on-one time for each individual kid. In a large family those times are precious and very rare.

holly321 · May 2014

rant: I have a love hate relationship with the pediatrician. He seems great when we are there, but once I leave things rub me the wrong way. Apparently, Ds grew almost 1.5 inches in 2 weeks and his head got smaller than his 12 month check. I could get past the mismeasuring, had we not dealt with hydrocephalus concerns and the fact he has FPIES, which can cause growth issues. Also , I mentioned he was getting over an allergic reaction to barley. He asked the symptoms, which I said was diarhea. The ped. then asked if he had any rash or breathing issues. I said no. He should know that would not be the case with FPiEs. In other words, ds has a serious condition our pediatrican knows nothing about. So I guess we are going to look else where. But I can't stand any other ones in the area and really don't want to travel.

holly321 · May 2014

And those who hate kids shows ... bubble guppies and peppa pig are sorta funny.

wifeofadam · May 2014

@holly321 That's so frustrating. I've also had a terrible time finding healthcare providers that know anything about food allergies. Even our local allergists (there is only one office) aren't great. I hope you find someone new soon!

holly321 · May 2014

+adamwife+ said:
@holly321 That's so frustrating. I've also had a terrible time finding healthcare providers that know anything about food allergies. Even our local allergists (there is only one office) aren't great. I hope you find someone new soon!

We are having a terrible time finding an allergiest that treats fpies too. The poor little guy was reacting in one's office and he doctor was insisting he had a stomach virus. The next guy we saw said he should have been in the hospital with how severely he was vomiting.

wifeofadam · May 2014

luxannie said:

I hear you, Adamwife. I think it's wonderful to invest in a one on one relationship with each child. But the concept of purity, purity balls and purity rings gives me the heebie jeebies. It feels like a means of sexualizing your child by framing it as the opposite of sexualizing.

"Saving yourself" for marriage is one goal, but it's definitely not a goal if want my child to grow up thinking of as the be all end all of goals. Purity is such a creepy concept because what's the opposite? Dirtiness? That's never a feeling I want my child to feel. So to me, the best way to avoid making my child feel shame for one aspect of their life, I don't plan to put any emphasis on remaining "pure." Safe sex, sure. Picking the right partner and waiting until you're ready? Definitely.

There's a religious component for us. We are immersed in a culture that swings in the complete opposite direction. If purity balls are the extreme on one end, pop culture is on the other - telling our children that virginity doesn't matter at all. There are even slutwalks out there celebrating promiscuity. I feel like these purity balls have taken an extreme stance in response to what they feel is a culture that is extremely different from them.

So while I totally agree that it is counterproductive to put an overemphasis on sexuality by staying pure and is just as damaging as sexualizing children in the opposite way (it's why I don't hold my children to my modesty standards - they are kids, not sexual beings), I don't think it has to be extremes. I think that a parent who has no problem with their child having sex before marriage can teach that idea to their child without saying, "Go and have sex with as many people as possible and be proud of being a slut!" In the same way, a parent can celebrate the idea of purity as God-honoring without saying, "You are damaged goods if you aren't a virgin when you get married. Wear this chastity belt!" As a Christian, the concept of Grace has to have just as much as an emphasis and perhaps that is what is missing in many of these purity balls. With Grace no one is damaged.

I can see how if one doesn't have the religious component, it would seem crazy and over the top. But I guess there are parents that feel like they are going to have to work HARD to fight the influences of our culture and the messages that go completely against their beliefs. Perhaps celebrating purity is the only way we can do that in our culture. Who knows?

kleigh926 · May 2014

I have a lot of rants but they're all depressing, so I'll just say this one: DD has another snotty nose again after just going through this a little over a month ago. I really hope it's just a cold or something that will go away on its own very soon, because we don't have health insurance until June 1, and I don't want to do antibiotics again anyway because she HATED them. So we're running a vaporizer at night and hoping for the best. I hate it when babies are sick.

jesuisfatiguee · May 2014

kleigh926 said:

I have a lot of rants but they're all depressing, so I'll just say this one: DD has another snotty nose again after just going through this a little over a month ago. I really hope it's just a cold or something that will go away on its own very soon, because we don't have health insurance until June 1, and I don't want to do antibiotics again anyway because she HATED them. So we're running a vaporizer at night and hoping for the best. I hate it when babies are sick.

Poor kid

DS has a snotty nose 80-90% of the time, thanks to DC. It's just part of life for us. I have found eucalyptus oil helps. I put a couple drops on his pants (so it's not too overpowering for him) to help him breathe. I also use lavender on our sheets at night, which also has the soothing effects. Not sure about nasal-clearing, but I know some people say it helps. I hope she feels better soon!

Drea926 · May 2014

je+suis=fatiguee said:

Drea926 said:

It's Bumpa pa looza and it's a fantastic word. I coined it!

I love YOU. Doesn't that count for something???

Frenchie you just made my day! HUGS!

DublinMama · May 2014

Here is the rant I just gave 18 kids, who I am convinced are the Children of the Corn.

"Fair does not mean everyone gets the same thing. Fair means everyone gets what they need, and what they have earned through their hard work and good decision making. Not everyone here needs the same things from me, and not everyone earns the same opportunities because some people choose to purposely do things that they know are not going to help them be successful, but it's easier than putting in the work. You don't just get things in life. You work towards them. Believe it or not, it doesn't change much as an adult. If you choose to make poor decisions, you are going to spend a lot of time watching other people enjoy great things while you miss out. And that's not because it's not fair. It's because you got in your own way. So you can be mad. But the person you need to direct that at is yourself."

I need June 17th to get herrrrrrre. Yesterday.

Edited for typos.

jesuisfatiguee · May 2014

You tell 'em, Dubs!

singingsea · May 2014

holly321 said:

And those who hate kids shows ... bubble guppies and peppa pig are sorta funny.

I...love....peppa pig

wifeofadam · May 2014

Dubs, I love that you said that to your kids, but I just want to address your first statement. I hear that a lot - Fair doesn't mean everything is equal, it means everyone gets what they need. This is probably going to be really unpopular, but here goes...

Fair does actually mean everything is equal. One synonym for fair is equitable. It means treating everyone equally. It doesn't mean that you treat one person better than the other because it is what they need. It means you treat everyone the same way.

Fair also means just, which is much more subjective. Just means doing what is morally right. So sometimes treating everyone equally isn't what is morally right to everyone. Sometimes the moral thing to do is to give to everyone according to their needs.

It's a strange thing, because sometimes being fair (equitable) isn't fair (just).

This is why we don't use the word fair in my house. It's sort of a dirty word. When my kids say something isn't fair, I ask them to use a better word. Do they mean is isn't equal? Do they mean it isn't just? moral? There's a huge difference.

Puck1182 · May 2014

The discussion on fairness makes me think of "Labyrinth." (Because of course is fun a way to work Jim Henson into this conversation. :-p )

Sarah keeps going on and on about how things in the labyrinth aren't fair, and it gets her nowhere. It isn't until she realizes "No, it isn't [fair]. But that's the way it is" that she finally starts to make progress.

In a perfect world, things WOULD be fair, but they aren't. And whining and moaning about it doesn't get you anywhere. You either work within the system or change it all together.

jesuisfatiguee · May 2014

Labrynth is an amazing movie.

jesuisfatiguee · May 2014

I've wanted to AW about this for awhile, but haven't found an appropriate way to just stick it in somewhere (TWSS)

But ex has started paying child support again and I'm really excited about it.

colinsfebmommy · May 2014

luxannie said:

If you poo in a toilet outside of your own home, and there's, ummm, residue after the flush...FLUSH AGAIN before I use the toilet after you!!!

God we have a girl at work that bombs the f-ing toilet every time.
:-&

colinsfebmommy · May 2014

Oh and along the lines of the toilet, also so a courtesy look back to see if you left hair on the seat whether it be a vag hair or a head hair...no one wants to see a stray hair, it skeeves me out.

Drea926 · May 2014

lrtrauth said:

Dubs, I have a poster in my room that says exactly what you said,...

Fair does not mean everyone gets the same thing. Fair means everyone gets what they need.

I have a poster in my room that says that too!!

colinsfebmommy · May 2014

luxannie said:

Oh and along the lines of the toilet, also so a courtesy look back to see if you left hair on the seat whether it be a vag hair or a head hair...no one wants to see a stray hair, it skeeves me out.
I almost choked on my lunch when I read this.

Sorry about that LMAO

colinsfebmommy · May 2014

ByeByeBooze said:

We had 3 guests last week/weekend and there is a stray curly hoo-ha hair in the guest shower. GAG.

I've been bathing DD in our bathroom until I can give the guest one a thorough cleaning.

Ahhhhh I hate seeing a hair in the shower I spray it down like it is a spider LMAO

SummerLove21 · May 2014

@DublinMama - Can you come talk to my cheer team and their parents, please? They have absolutely NO concept of "I get what I put into it." Don't even get me started on the rant our teams got on Monday about attendance and what being a team actually means.

@luxannie & @fishes - Maybe we need to be pen pals or something. :-)

jesuisfatiguee · May 2014

Warm toilet seats really are the worst, @krystynad. I don't even want to think about butt sweat.

wholenewworld · May 2014

My UO is that I didn't love that article about why moms don't hang out with childless friends anymore. It's using your kids as an excuse. If you really wanted to see your friends, you would. Yes, it is more inconvenient, but we can all make time for things we really want to do. It's like me saying that I can't go to the gym because I don't have time. Unless you are occupied literally 24 hours a day, you have time, you just don't want to overcome your excuses. Maybe the reason non-mom friends didn't like or comment on facebook about it is because it came off like a put-down to childless women: our motherhood is so important that we simply can't make time for our lowly, childless friends.

In general, I just get turned off by martyr mothers.

Puck1182 · May 2014

luxannie said:

Teacher Clark said:
I think people don't like to get involved when things aren't happy go lucky. People say they are there for you, but 95% aren't when you need them.

I backed off this board because I feel like I am the outcast. My life is messy by no choice of my own. I tried to post positive thoughts in addition to my mess, but no one love titted them but frenchie.

I think it's the same with a lot of messy situations. For instance, people talk about being forgotten which a miscarriage or when someone passes. I think when things get too real people stop wanting to be involved.
Mess and sadness makes people uncomfortable, I agree. Though, I feel like this board has been really supportive of you whenever you post. Or at least with most of the posts. I'm sorry if you've felt let down or ignored. I'm 99% sure that I loved your Mother's Day dinner plans (because I thought it was a great idea!) but maybe I fumbled that.

Part of the disconnect, I think, is that people generally want to help solve problems and they don't know what to say or do while I think you just want to vent and be heard. I get both sides of the coin.

I know that for me, my perfectionism is a barrier. When someone I know (either IRL or here) is going through a difficult time, I want to say exactly the right thing. In the case of online interactions, if I don't think I have time to write something really thoughtful, I tend not to post anything. Or I'll start typin something, decide it isn't the "right" thing to say, and delete it without posting it. Hell, I almost just did that with THIS post.

jesuisfatiguee · May 2014

I am very pro-Teach. I wish you didn't feel like an outcast

I don't think that is a mainstream opinion on this board.

tamarar5 · May 2014

@Teacher Clark‌ Please don't feel like an outcast! We all love you!!! Every last one of us wishes we could castrate your AH and com his nuts for his dinner. Is your life messy, absolutely. But who's isn't? I may be mostly happy, but I have two, soon to be three kids, living in a too small two bedroom house that is bursting at the seams. I feel like my life is on overload almost every day, and most of the time I feel like I'm completely alone.

I hope you will join us again because I miss the snark and wit that is teacher Clark!!!

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