Parenting

Please Share Your Grossest Story Here (Warning: Gross Stories)

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Re: Please Share Your Grossest Story Here (Warning: Gross Stories)

  • MaebbMaebb member
    I ate a live cockroach when I was a baby.

    I once was visiting a friend in Thailand when I got giardia and had diarrhea like 10 times a day, and they didn't have any toilet paper, only a bucket of water by the toilet. That's how they did things. So I had to get really up close and personal with my asshole.

    This is super embarrassing, but one time I had a bad ingrown hair on my bikini area, and it was in a location where I couldn't pop it. I asked DH to do it, and the puss shot across the shower and onto the shower wall. I don't know how DH can have sex with me after that disgustingness.
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  • SFOP goes here

    Exactly. And the gif.
    Ok, I like just found the gif in the Voldy thread. Sick!
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  • SandyClam said:
    I'll offer this to replace these bad memories...while still a virgin my BF and I would just dry hump, naked. One time, I was on top and he came in his own face. I think I laughed while running for a towel.
    I read "BF" as best friend instead of boyfriend. I was really confused why you'd be humping your male best friend naked :) I just snorted. That's some American Pie material right there!

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  • I don't know why that quote is so jacked
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  • SFOP goes here
    Exactly. And the gif.
    Ok, I like just found the gif in the Voldy thread. Sick!
    I'm confused. What is SFOP and what GIF? I was definitely in on that thread but I am sure I missed a lot. It is so frickin long.
  • I'll offer this to replace these bad memories...while still a virgin my BF and I would just dry hump, naked. One time, I was on top and he came in his own face. I think I laughed while running for a towel.

    How do you dry hump naked?
    Whatever you call humping with no penetration. My undies on, his off. No other clothes.
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  • When I was little, I had a recurring dream that Mr. Burns from The Simpsons was putting bugs (actual insect bugs) into peoples' brains to control them. Maybe why the earwig thing freaks me out so much.
    I just laughed out loud at the GIF in your siggy. That's totally something I would do.
  • SFOP goes here
    Exactly. And the gif.
    Here you go:
    image
    I didn't realize SFOP was a well-known acronym. I have been bad at the internet lately. This GIF is perfect.
  • i ordered lo mein at my for 2+ years favorite chinese restaurant once, ate 3/4 of it, and then found a folded roach leg.  the guy at the counter was offended when i demanded my money back.

    i can't eat chinese food anymore :(




    however long the night, dawn will break.

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  • @RondackHiker‌ since you're here and still alive from tasting aged toenail, I have to mention a note on my wall from you saying "Seeadrßdrs". I'm pretty sure this is German for "the baby sat on the keyboard" but since I rarely check my wall I didn't want it to seem like I ignored you. I'm just clueless. :)

    That's embarrassing and hilarious.

    Thanks mobile, for making me as awkward on the bump as I am IRL.


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  • AMcLawsAMcLaws member
    My DH worked security at a local hospital when we first met and started dating. One night, a bum was found passed out on the street, drunk as all hell. He was brought in for fluids, and they restrained him, just in case. Nurses put in a catheter as well. So bum wakes up, and loses his mind. Starts throwing a fit. Screaming for the catheter to come out. Nurses try to calm him, security (my hubby and another guy) are running across the hospital to help. Bum manages to get a hand loose, right as hubby got there. He reached down and PULLED OUT HIS OWN DAMN CATHETER. hubby said his penis looked like a split hot dog.
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  • ShakeyJakeyShakeyJakey member
    edited May 2014

    We had sheep on our farm. We had a ewe we thought was in labor, but wasn't progressing. My stepdad told me to go in and get the lamb before it died. (No, that's not the gross part.) So I went in and I kept telling him I couldn't get the lamb- I could barely get a finger though. He told me to just get it and get it out. I kept trying but she wasn't dilated. Finally he went to try. Surprise. Not in labor. We gave her some antibiotics in case I jacked anything up while I was poking around in there. 


    So the next day she goes into labor. Finally. She was really struggling, so my stepdad wanted me to help her speed things along. I was able to get a hold of the lamb that time, got the nose between the front feet and started to pull. The smell coming out of her was awful. My mom threw up and ran to get my step dad because there sh get the lamb- I could barely get a finger though. He told me to just get it and get it out. I kept trying but she wasn't dilated. Finally he went to try. Surprise. Not in labor. We gave her some antibiotics in case I jacked anything up while I was poking around in there. 

    So the next day she goes into labor. Finally. She was really struggling, so my stepdad wanted me to help her speed things along. I was able to get a hold of the lamb that time, got the nose between the front feet and started to pull. The smell coming out of her was awful. My mom threw up and ran to get my step dad because there should never be that kind of smell from that. I finally got to the end and pulled out the front feet, head and half of the spine. That was it. We figure the lamb had died in utero a week or two before and started decomposing. My step dad was kind and got the rest out himself instead of making me finish it. 

    Omfg.

    OMFG.

    The earwig thing creeps me the fuck out, but I think you won the thread. Fuck no.

    -------fucked up the quote
    @WhoCanItBeNow‌ was mama lamb okay? That sounds terrifying

    Also @martha919 are you a j13 mom? Your name looks familiar but I haven't been around much this past week so sorry if I missed your intro!

    Harry Styles = Life Ruiner

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    There’s a lightning in your eyes I can't deny
    Then there’s me inside a sinking boat running out of time
    Without you I'll never make it out alive
    But I know, yes, I know we’ll be alright
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
    J. 1.14.13 my reason for breathing 








  • ************VERY VERY GRAPHIC AND VERY VERY SAD************

    I am a nurse. My poor, poor patient's esophageal tumor eroded her carotid. I will never ever get the visual out of my head. She exsanguinated in front of my eyes, pretty much out of her mouth, and drowned in her own blood. I still think about her all the time.

    I missed this. :(  There are a couple of patients who cross my mind all the time.  My very last clinical this semester one of my patients was just one year younger than me.  She had myleodysplastic anemia.  She had sickle cell and was in prison where it was not being managed.  She had come in with severe vaginal bleeding and they kept transfusing her, but nothing was helping.  Her hemoglobin was like 4 and her platelets were 5,000 at the time I was taking care of her.  She was essentially just bleeding to death.  Out of her eyes, throat, vagina, her entire body was covered in a petechial rash....it was horrible.  She was going to hospice.  At 30.

    Some of my worst ever stories involve postmortem care, but I am not comfortable sharing those really.  :(


    @LovelyRitaMeterMaid‌ I'm kind of dense so forgive me but what would he uncomfortable about sharing those? If you can say with out actually telling the story. I'm not sure how they can be worse than alive patients but I'm not in healthcare.

    Harry Styles = Life Ruiner

    image

    There’s a lightning in your eyes I can't deny
    Then there’s me inside a sinking boat running out of time
    Without you I'll never make it out alive
    But I know, yes, I know we’ll be alright
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
    J. 1.14.13 my reason for breathing 
  • I think it's a good idea not to share @LovelyRitaMeterMaid‌. My DH's grandfather died when I was pregnant with E.

    When we got to the hospital, the staff hadn't removed the code cart and so all I could think about was him coding and them trying to bring him back. And all the chaos and clean up associated with that.
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  • I'm a psych nurse, I'll play. @justAphase I don't know who told you psych nursing wasn't gross, but...

    Smearing shit is just the tip of the iceberg.  Lots of people who eat their own shit, piss and vomit. Lots of shit being thrown at you, shoving shitty hands and many other objects into vaginas, smearing menstrual blood trying to get it on you.  There was someone who bit off pieces of their tongue and spit it at you and luckily I was not on the floor when this happened (I was working on another floor) but someone pulled out their own eyes.  I've had to sit 1:1 (within 3 feet) with an intellectually disabled man while he sniffed his own sock and masturbated.  Sometimes it's because they're mentally ill and don't realize what their doing, other times it's because they're mentally ill and part of that is wanting to get a reaction from you. 

    Anyway, so one of my grossest stories (and thanks @bluepointtoasted for reminding me) was the sunflower seed one.  We had an obese intellectually disabled woman (who couldn't speak) and she went to use the bathroom.  One of the other nurses noticed there were sunflower seeds falling out of her butt. So he did a little digging in her butt and out popped like a full cup or two of sunflower seed shit.  Like, whole sunflowers with the shells on.  She had just been eating them by the handful at home and no one thought tho stop her because she couldn't get the shells off.  We end up having to give her multiple laxatives, she doesn't understand what's going on so starts to get combative, meanwhile all the seeds are cutting up her rectum and she's explosively shitting out omg so much seeds and shit and just rectal bleeding and doesn't understand to sit on the toilet and is trying to run away so it's getting everywhere (our unit was carpeted btw) For days later sunflower seeds were found all over the unit coming out of her when she walked.
  • minervacullenminervacullen member
    edited May 2014
    I once got so drunk I puked and crapped myself. DH had to clean it and me while I was passed out in the shower.

    I usually puke on myself when drunk. It's like I can't aim. I've had to drunk shower at many peoples houses.

    When I worked at a plastic surgeons I had to dress a gangrene injury, the smell!

    I had to draw blood in the ED on an Alzheimer's patient. I think they had mold in their mouth. No joke, their mouth was covered.



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  • Yeah, it was really upsetting for me. Like I still get upset over it. And that's exactly it-the end of life code and chaos.

    Anyway, I loved hospice when I was student. We have a pedi hospice here that does a lot of home hospice. Before i got out of school I was thinking I would do NICU for awhile and the do home pedi hospice. Now that I have kids, I don't think I could do pedi hospice.
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  • my5sonsmy5sons member
    Nursing=gross. My parents were both nurses and would tell gross stories at the dinner table which was oh so fun. So naturally, I ended up going to nursing school!

    Had a nursing home patient with dementia who smelled horrible. She was bathed again and again but no one could figure out where the smell was coming from. She smelled like rotting flesh. Well, eventually we discovered the source of the odor....she had taken lunch meat from a sandwich she had at a meal, and shoved it way up in her vagina, where it sat decomposing for heaven knows how long. When it was removed it was barely identifiable, and oh, that SMELL...

    I also have had the joy of digging out fecal impactions, which is already gross enough in itself. But I had one guy that was so impacted it was like digging rocks out of his ass. Except they were putrid smelling rocks. And I was about 7 months pregnant at the time and kept dry heaving. When I was finished I ran/waddled to the closest bathroom and puked my guys out.

    Good times.
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  • Mainly because I don't want someone who has lost a loved one in a hospital to hear what happens after they finally go home because it is disturbing at times.  I wouldn't want anyone to relate what I'm saying to their mom or dad.  And for some reason, it just feels wrong to me to talk about them after they died?  I mean, general sharing I guess would be different.  But this is just to gross people out.

    Totally understand.

    Harry Styles = Life Ruiner

    image

    There’s a lightning in your eyes I can't deny
    Then there’s me inside a sinking boat running out of time
    Without you I'll never make it out alive
    But I know, yes, I know we’ll be alright
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
    J. 1.14.13 my reason for breathing 
  • My grossest I can think of is one time I saw my grandma walking out of the bathroom in a towel. She isually wears a robe but forgot it or something. I noticed something by her armpit/back area and got a closer look. It was a decent (like quarter sized) sized bug halfway in her skin still half alive. I had to pull it out with tweezers but it kept breaking apart so I had to irrigate it until all the legs were out.

    Harry Styles = Life Ruiner

    image

    There’s a lightning in your eyes I can't deny
    Then there’s me inside a sinking boat running out of time
    Without you I'll never make it out alive
    But I know, yes, I know we’ll be alright
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
    J. 1.14.13 my reason for breathing 
  • ShakeyJakeyShakeyJakey member
    edited May 2014
    This shall be forever known as the diet thread. Vom.

    Harry Styles = Life Ruiner

    image

    There’s a lightning in your eyes I can't deny
    Then there’s me inside a sinking boat running out of time
    Without you I'll never make it out alive
    But I know, yes, I know we’ll be alright
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
    J. 1.14.13 my reason for breathing 
  • About expired food.

    My grandma's car started to smell one summer. We kept searching it and couldn't find the source. About two months later my brother found a half-full quart of milk in the spare tire well. It'd slosh (as well as it could since it was chunky) when she went around corners.

    My mil hates spending money, especially if she sees it as a waste. Since she doesn't like relish or mustard she only has it to set out for guests. The mustard expired in 2011 and the relish in 2009. She knows it's expired and she shrugs it off and keeps it because she doesn't want to pay to replace it.


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  • EVA116EVA116 member

    I am sad someone would think I am a troll.

     

    so anyways, this one time.....:)

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  • @ShakeyJakey‌ Sorry I missed your post. Yes, I am! I actually intro'd here about two months ago? I just can't keep up with threads here so I don't post much. I'm finally coming out of my shell a little bit, though. :-)
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