2 weeks in...can I get a pep talk?

legaleagles · May 2014

My boys are 2 weeks - I haven't even announced their birth. It's hard. So very very hard. So hard on my DD, so hard on DH and I. I feel like all the boys do is eat and sit in the RNPs and I'm worried they'll have flat heads. I'm exhausted beyond belief (man i had it easy with one - wish I'd known then). We're pumping and ff since I couldn't get them to latch. I'm mostly okay with this and have come to terms with this decision, though there is still some residual guilt about it. I know the first 6 months - 1 year will be brutal, but I feel like I don't know how I"ll even make it 6 weeks. We have a lot of help, but DH is back at work. My mom is here to help and we have friends come in the evenings several nights a week, but I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel.

daisy19782011 · May 2014

You will make it! It is awful at 1st, and that's OK to say, but it does get better. I gave up pumping b/c it was driving me nuts, but that is a personal decision. You have a DD, so you know this, but when it got easier for me was around 3 months when they were laughing and smiling at me.....2 at a time It is amazing. Just remember...this too shall pass..hang in there! :x

CaliCarly77 · May 2014

Oh man the first two months were THE WORST. It totally gets better. I think I posted on here that I was at my end at about the 2 week mark. I remember a phone call with friends at that point and it was just a fog. And all of a sudden at 3 weeks it got a little better (from 12 feedings each to about 9, right around then) then a little bit later down the road it went to 8 feedings each, and now at 4 months it is 5 feedings each and it has been that way for a month now. So as the feedings go down, it does get much easier, and as pp said, when they start smiling and responding to stimuli, that helps tremendously, too.

I get that people love little teeny babies, but I am not a huge fan. So having two is hard. I myself much prefer kids and I am looking forward to my 4 month olds getting into the 10 month + range. I am trying to enjoy the moments now, but yeah, babies are not everyone's thing.

HANG IN THERE! It gets much easier.

CaliCarly77 · May 2014

ps - don't worry about flat heads and rock n plays - my girls were in them constantly until about 3 months old. Yeah their heads are a little flat but they sit up soon and then they will unflatten. Do what you need to do, and if they are happy in there, great!!!

jeephappygirl · May 2014

The smiles & giggles in a few weeks will really help. Mine just turned 6 mo. My DD will be 3 in July. I EP also. I have very little help. My dad comes most mornings but it's more to visit than to help. DH works 2 jobs so I can stay at home. The past 6 mo are kind of a blur. Trying to think back to 2 weeks... pumping is hard & time consuming but worth it if it works for your family. If you don't have a hands free bra get one. I found it easiest to pump while feeding them. I sit on my bed with them propped in boppys in front of me. Try to include your big guy to make things easier on him. Before feedings, pumping or anything else time consuming, I always set DD up with a snack or activity she can do herself. It's hard but so worth it. You've got this!

LegallyBlonde217 · May 2014

It will get better!!! I felt like all I did was feed mine and watch them sit in the RnPs.

I was worried about flat spots, too. We ended up buying these, and their heads are fine.

jezebel57 · May 2014

I am sorry- it really is hard. I still find it hard but in a different way now that my boys are 4 months. Ditto what PP said about just surviving. When they start smiling you will start to see it improving. Hang in there!!!!!

raraavis28 · May 2014

sing4mysavior said:

Don't worry about making it long term. Make it through the next 5 minutes. You are literally just surviving at first. We all say it, but it's honestly true...make sure everyone has food, maybe a shower? Rest, and some kisses and that's it. Just surviving. It will get better, but just make it through the next bit...then maybe the next 1/2 hour. It will add up and eventually you'll be at a better place. Hang in there. You'll make it. It will be ok. And it's ok to feel any kind of emotion..,tired, frustrated, sad, jealous, happy, whatever it is...it's ok. *hugs*

All of this!!! It is so very hard at the beginning, and there's no way to even picture how it's going to be next week, months down the road, etc. So just survive a day at a time....a moment at a time if necessary....don't put pressure on yourself to do anything more than get through the day. And it will get easier....you will find your groove, and you'll look back one day and be amazed at how you got through (and will probably post on here for other new MoMs to tell them "I survived and you will too!!"

)

Hang in there....you're doing great! Big hugs!!

zazu13 · May 2014

Take care Mama! We just hit 10 weeks and things are getting better. One turning point was when i gave up pumping. It was just too much and i was still having to supplement half the time anyway. Also when they reached 8 lbs and started sleeping 4-5 hour stretches at night. Each week I feel like I am finally getting the hang of things, but I am also still using as much help as ican get. With school letting out for summer i am considering using some girls in my neighborhood as mothers helpers afew hrs a day. Maybe thats an option too?

kbeach82 · May 2014

Oh hon. My twins just turned 1 and I could have written this post myself at 2 weeks, 2 months, ....I am going to give it to you pretty straight, because I had an aunt that gave birth to twin boys when her DD was 2 do that for me (my DS1 turned 2 one week before our twins were born) and it really helped me put things into perspective.

Nothing could have prepared me for just how difficult having 3u3 was going to be. I knew it was going to be hard, but I never imagined just how hard. DS1 had a really difficult time accepting the new babies. I was a SAHM for the first 8 months of his life, and he had a nanny in our home when I went back to work part time. Never having to share his mommy with someone else made it that much harder for him to share me with anyone, let alone TWO newborns! He acted out, the babies were colicky for a few weeks, DH and I argued like we had never argued before, and I felt like no one was getting what they needed from me. But I let go of the unrealistic expectations I had for myself, learned to accept help from ANYONE that offered, and loved my babies, DH and DS1 with every ounce I had to give, and we all survived!

We have gone through ups and downs throughout the first year of the twins' lives, with things getting better, easier for a little while, and then getting pretty difficult again (like right now, when both of the babies are working on getting some back teeth and hating every second of it). But I just try to get through the day, like PPs have suggested. Some days, it really takes every ounce of my energy just to make sure that everyone is fed, clothed (for the most part), sort of clean, and loved, and that's o.k.

I know you feel like you are drowning now (and don't forget, you still have plenty of postpartum hormones making it even more difficult for you to function "normally"). But you are doing a good job! I promise! Hang in there and please, feel free to PM me anytime if you'd like, just to vent or whatever.

tlf830 · May 2014

Hi there, we are approaching our 4 week birthday and 2 weeks in (and 4 for that matter) I feel like you do. It is hard and EXHAUSTING. But, we will get through it !

kdarden15 · May 2014

You are doing great! Just sending good thoughts!

linds2417 · May 2014

I'm so glad this was posted! I'm also 2 weeks in only a week with both home! I needed the words of encouragement as well! I've never felt like giving up as much as I have today especially with my milk supply disappearing and having to reintroduce formula again. Hang in there it supposedly gets better! I always try and think to myself that I will miss these days when they're this small so enjoy it now... Even though it seems really hard to do

wille2b · May 2014

Everyone else has basically summed it up! It is HARD in the early days, well like 3 months. But I promise it will get easier! You are in survival mode and that's all you need to do now, eat and sleep and that's it, I remember not talking to friends for months. Soon enough they will be smiling and happy to sit and coo at you

If pumping is too much then quit and don't feel guilty about it, you need to do what is best for you guys, and that isn't always the ideas we had originally pictured. Hang in there mama, and remember we are all here to encourage you, whine with you, cry with you and laugh with you!!!! ((HUGS))

whitehousem · May 2014

We are 12 days in and I felt like you did a few days ago. We established a schedule that we are trying to stick to and that has helped so much! Maybe something similar will help you? DD will be two in a few weeks. She has been testing us like crazy, which makes things more difficult.

6/6:30am DH gets up with them and bottle feeds breast milk
7/7:30am pump
9:30/10 breast feed (supplement if needed)
1pm- dd goes down for nap- breast feed (supplement if needed)
4pm bottle feed breast milk/ pump after
7pm breast feed
10pm formula feed (we call it their sleepy shake)
2am- formula/ pump (last night I decided not to pump bc I never did in the MOTN with DD)

It's only 7 feeds, but we do some supplementing and some formula and they are gaining weight like champs.

I have a special basket for DD to play with while I'm feeding them. Or I put her in her high chair to color or have a snack... Or I leave her in her crib in the morning or after nap until I'm done. She's a great sleeper though 7am-7pm and a nap from 1-4pm (sometimes a little less). I prop them up together and bottle feed at the same time, or I have whoever is around help (my mom is here and DH sometimes works from home).

Hang in there! It's def not easy, but it will get better. Do what works for you and keeps you sane. If that means less pumping then that's ok! I have had trouble BFing all three of my kids, so I know how hard it is when it doesn't work out, but ultimately, A happy/healthy mom will lead to happy/healthy babies!

so72409 · May 2014

You can do it!!!! Sending you positive thoughts and prayers. I exclusively pumped for my girls for 10 months, it is very trying and can wear on you, but it gets easier. Some don't want the added stress of it--and that's okay, too. Do what's best for you, but I want to encourage you to continue pumping as long as you can! I had a lot of guilt about not being able to breastfeed, too, but remember it's what they're getting, not how they get it. Also, supplementing is okay, too! You will survive this! I barely even remember the first 2 months.

LittleLady77 · May 2014

If it gets really bad pack them up and come over to my house. I'm home all the time these days and we can sit by the pool and deal with quadruple meltdowns.

bumpuser924057 · May 2014

You will make it! One day, one hour, one minute at a time. It is awful at first, so awful that I honestly can't even remember how awful it really was - and it wasn't even that long ago!

legaleagles · May 2014

Ladies - thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I can't tell you how much all of your kind words and support and encouragement and love mean to me. I've come back to this post so many times when it's rough to read and reread the posts letting me know I'll be okay. We'll be okay. But man it's really really hard and a very rough road right now.

melcass · May 2014

Like everyone has said.....twins are hard! So much work, I never could just sit and cuddle one....always bouncing from one to the other. There were mornings I didn't even want to get out of bed because I knew how exhausting the day was going to be. My daughter was 3 when they were born and I was worried about her because the twins cried a lot.....life changed. I can tell you she loves them to pieces now, she is 5 and my twins will be 2 next month. They have so much fun together....and I am enjoying them now. We still have the moments when they both have tantrums at the same time and I want to pull my hair out but it's so much better than it was. They make me laugh now instead of cry...ha! I also now have a 9 week old and like you said....1 is a cake walk, especially AFTER twins!

Want a personalized experience?

2 weeks in...can I get a pep talk?

Re: 2 weeks in...can I get a pep talk?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards