Can I vent?

angeltennis3 · May 2014

I am away for the weekend at a lake house for a bachelorette party with several girlfriends. I love them all, but we are just at very different points in our lives. I completely respect that and everyone has their own path. But about every two hours the conversation of kids comes up and they all talk about how they don't want kids, how terrible that would be, how it would ruin their lives, and blah blah blah. All right in front of me knowing I am pregnant.

I was prepared for the conversation to happen once, maybe even twice, but I have officially reached my limit with the 5-6 times that it has come up. It has made me incredibly emotional and really upset. I am so ready for this weekend to be over.

Anybody have any tips on how to respectfully tell them their continuous comments are hurting my feelings?

Dani0329 · May 2014

I'd say that secretly a lot of them want kids and haven't met the right person, or the right person isn't ready for children yet, They may be bringing it up constantly to try and convince themselves. That being said I am guessing they are all grown adults with general social knowledge, so since they are choosing to be rude, I'd say "What a shame that you don't want to experience the special bond a mother and child share. I am excited for our little ones arrival." Or something like that'.

roxiewhite · May 2014

crawford411 said:

I would just flat out say, "I realize that you all don't want children, but clearly that isn't the choice I've made. Can we talk about something else for a while? I'm starting to feel a little singled out."

This. ^^^ It's totally ok for them not to want to have children, but it's a little odd that they're not following it up by acknowledging that your choice is valid too. Just because they don't want it themselves doesn't mean they can't be supportive and excited for you (and vice versa). And maybe they are, but it sounds like they're doing a really poor job of showing it.

MrsL2B · May 2014

I think you should point out to them that it's making you uncomfortable. I didn't want children for a long time, and it was always refreshing to find other women who shared that outlook. They may just be too caught up in being able to talk about it without feeling judged to remember that they're making you feel judged.

angeltennis3 · May 2014

Thanks everyone! I completely respect their decision to not have or wait to have children, it's really the general statements of how awful it is that hurt my feelings. I piped up and basically said that to them and I think they understand! So hopefully the rest of our time will be drama free.

Thanks for listening, sometimes that's all a mama to be needs to feel a little better!

MrsSinner402 · May 2014

At this point I would be so frustrated and hurt that they clearly don't realize what they're doing, I wouldn't be that respectful in bringing it up. I'd probably be pretty snarky, like really?! Wtf. So I seriously commend you for taking a minute to figure out how to go about it in the more adult manner than I probably would.

JessAnnJ · May 2014

The issue has already been resolved but I just want to add that I find it incredibly odd that the topic came up that many times. There is only so much you can say about it. Are you in your early 20's? A lot of people think that way when they are younger, but it's still odd to keep bringing it up.

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