Bringing LO to Work

akflutterby · May 2014

I'm back to work on Monday and I'm super lucky that I get to bring LO with me until she is 6mos. I'm really excited to not have to put her in daycare and keep her with me longer, but I'm really concerned about managing my team and getting everything done with a baby in tow. I have a meeting tomorrow with my boss and the deputy director of HR to discuss what accommodations I need for my situation. My problem is that I have absolutely NO IDEA what I need. I thought we had mostly covered this with my prior supervisor in the months before I had LO but nothing was covered with HR and all we really agreed on was me doing VTC to meetings so I could participate and be muted so baby wouldn't be a distraction. I just planned on being in my office mostly and having an area set up for LO in the corner. What am I not thinking of here? Any ideas for what I need to cover in this meeting?

TheBorg7of9 · May 2014

Are you bringing a nanny with you?

akflutterby · May 2014

TheBorg7of9 said:
Are you bringing a nanny with you?

Lol. I wish.

@PrivacyWanted‌ LO will be 6wks on Monday, so I was thinking swing, pnp, and moby. I am EBF and I have my own office so I figured I could easily close my door when needed, but we're an open door company so unless LO was fussing or feeding I'd have the door open. We have several employees who live out of town (or another state) so it's common to video teleconference on mute a and then unmute when you need to contribute, so that shouldn't go over too poorly. But I do manage a team of 16 that I'll need to meet with, review their work, check in on, etc. I can handle meetings in my office but when I have to go to their offices or have a staff meeting I just planned on baby wearing. I feel like I'm not covering all of my bases though and I want to make sure I'm still getting everything done and maintaining the level of professionalism we have at our work place. It's mostly laid back there, and bringing your baby to work is a policy, but it's still a business and I'm a director, and no one has brought a baby in for about 4 years.

akflutterby · May 2014

Thanks for the suggestions. I guess i may be a little overly optimistic about bringing her. She's my third and I've never worked outside the home before my kids were about a year and a half so i was really excited about this opportunity. It was my senior deputy director's idea to bring her in so I figured I could still do it all.

akflutterby · May 2014

My older ones are much older. DS just turned 17 last week, DD turns 10 next week.

jf198400 · May 2014

I think this is a bad idea, but I wanted to mention something that I've seen posted when these questions come up on the board.

Make sure you have a diaper pail or some way to contain the odor. No one wants to smelly poopy diapers in a professional office.

Also i honestly can't imagine how you will schedule staff meetings. What happens when LO has a meltdown and needs to nurse NOW when you're supposed to be running a meeting?

akflutterby · May 2014

Thanks all for your suggestions. Lots of things to keep in mind.

djm31012 · May 2014

You won't know until you try it . I'd rather attempt it for a bit given that your office is supportive than leave my 6 week old behind . Ideal scenario is to make it work until the 12 week mark and then find alternative care. I agree it totally depends on ur office and job so try it for a few weeks and see what happens. Also definitely bring something that plays soft music etc. your swing may so that's good.

VOR · May 2014

*** Stuck in the box ***

I think it's great that your company is so supportive of new moms. Personally, though, I'd rather be able to stay HOME for 12 weeks w/ some level of pay than have to go in at 6 weeks and be able to bring my baby.

For the fact no one has done this is 4 years - they may not be totally realistic either as to what this will be like. Especially for you, at a director level.

And while I think it's great that they are supportive, at the same time I wonder how this is going to affect people's impression of YOU, especially those under you. Either they'll think "this is awesome, what a great company" or they'll think "she's 1/2 assing it. Wish I could just bring a kid in and get away w/ not doing my job".

I'm glad you're soaking all this in and keeping it in mind because I do think it's important to have a back-up plan in mind. For your sake, I hope it works out, though.

88sharonlee · May 2014

This is a tough one. When I first read you post I thought, there is no way this going to work! But I see that you aren't a FTM so your not ignorant to what a newborn needs so you should have some idea if what your doing.

I think giving it a try is the way to go, but it would be really great if you could have some set time each day where baby is watched by someone else- any close daycare nearby you could do part time?

Anyways, to help with your original question I think the key will be to set up expectations with your team- you don't want them walking in on you bf or changing a diaper and you don't want them to feel like your never available/ not working either.

so maybe you could post a whiteboard on your door and keep it updated so the team knows what to expect, for example:
Quite please baby sleeping
Privacy please come back in 10 minutes
Please knock I'm available to talk

Something so that even if you need to keep the door shut just for noise that your staff doesn't feel like they don't know when they can get a hold if you.

kristennd · May 2014

My employer allows infants at work for the first 6 months and success or failure depends a LOT on the coworkers. Some departments carried it off smoothly and with others it was a disaster based in large part on how flexible the other people were. And not flexible as code for doing the mother's work for her. Flexible as in paying attention to the signs like above that say don't knock or call back later. Also whether the coworkers could stop coming in every five minutes to fuss over the baby. Certain empty nesters without grandchildren of their own yet apparently just can't. I didn't try it myself.

litzo27 · May 2014

I know this was asked tongue in cheek by @TheBorg7of9 - but would you consider actually bringing a nanny or mother's helper with you for at least a part of the day, especially the second half maybe when babies are generally more cranky? I like the suggestion of your older kid but I would rather pay a college student and have this a formal relationship.
I know this will fail with the money saving aspect but it will be good for the baby (someone can focus on her and take her out for walks) and good for you because you can focus on work but still be there to nurse and interact with baby. Like WFH with childcare.
Personally, that's the only way I could it - Marissa Meyer style

dashofreality · May 2014

Sorry, I do not understand the appeal. If you can do your job and bring your baby to work I would think that you could do your job from home without inconveniencing all of your coworkers and frankly creating a lot of additional stress on yourself.

Based on an odd circumstance I was requested to and brought my baby to work 1 day. I had an office with a door, as does everyone else on my floor, but I was still stressed anytime she started to make cry/fuss. I also just felt so unprofessional the entire time.

If it were me, I would push for as much remote work as possible with VTC at home and coming into the office if needed for an occasional meeting.

Yes, theoretically if you have an easy baby you can probably swing it, but do you really want to? What if you have a colicky baby? Do you have a backup plan?

itsmevkb · May 2014

grace806 said:

I'm sorry for the honesty but this makes me feel sad for your baby. They won't be getting your undivided attention at all all day for presumably 5 days a week. Babies of all ages need attention to grow and learn. No baby wants/deserves to spend their day attending conference calls.

While I'm not completely on board with bringing babies into the workplace, I feel this is a little over the top. Thinking this way, no woman should ever have more than one baby because trust me, babies two, three and four never got my undivided attention because I have three other kids to take care of as well.

jf198400 · May 2014

VOR said:

*** Stuck in the box ***

I think it's great that your company is so supportive of new moms. Personally, though, I'd rather be able to stay HOME for 12 weeks w/ some level of pay than have to go in at 6 weeks and be able to bring my baby.

For the fact no one has done this is 4 years - they may not be totally realistic either as to what this will be like. Especially for you, at a director level.

And while I think it's great that they are supportive, at the same time I wonder how this is going to affect people's impression of YOU, especially those under you. Either they'll think "this is awesome, what a great company" or they'll think "she's 1/2 assing it. Wish I could just bring a kid in and get away w/ not doing my job".

I'm glad you're soaking all this in and keeping it in mind because I do think it's important to have a back-up plan in mind. For your sake, I hope it works out, though.

I wish I could love this x1000
Especially the part about rather staying home for 12 weeks. And also people thinking you're 1/2 assing your job.

ss265 · May 2014

OP, PP have covered very good points but I just wanted to add that a lot depends on the temperament of your baby. Is she an easy baby? If so, then this could possibly work. However, if she is a cranky, fussy baby then I would highly recommend a back up option. It sounds like you have had her at home with you for the past few weeks. I would suggest logging all the free time you have to work over the next couple of days to get an idea of how productive you will be when you take her to the office. Think about how long it takes to calm her down when she is fussy and then consider that other people will have to hear her crying. Try baby wearing her and spending time on the computer. My fear is that you will feel overwhelmed caring for a newborn and trying to be a productive employee at the same time.

litzo27 · May 2014

amy052006 said:

grace806 said:

I'm sorry for the honesty but this makes me feel sad for your baby. They won't be getting your undivided attention at all all day for presumably 5 days a week. Babies of all ages need attention to grow and learn. No baby wants/deserves to spend their day attending conference calls.

LOL -- unless you have a nanny (and I would assume a constant nanny cam) I can assure you your kid is not getting undivided attention while you work.

This one is an eyeroller for me -- I call total BS that most people wouldn't at least try it if given the opportunity.

I disagree. I think there is a difference between the nanny not tending to the baby while making bottles or the daycare worker leaving the baby in the bouncer for 15 minutes to put the other babies to sleep and the set-up described above. If I understand correctly the OP would have to put in an equivalent of a full 8 hour day. Which means that after you take out the mandatory time-outs for nursing baby, changing baby, bouncing her if she fusses, the rest of the time the OP would have to be solely focused on work. We are talking about hours in the swing/bouncer/PNP. She simply couldn't afford to coo and cuddle time-wise.

EastCoastBride · May 2014

amy052006 said:

The people thinking you are half assing your job is not your problem. Guess what -- the same assholes will think the same thing if you take pumping breaks.

Company policy is what it is -- I think anyone is nuts not to take advantage of it.

But chances are she WILL be 1/2 assing it to some degree. Perhaps the higher ups won't care. As someone said, they may prefer to have her there 50% of the time vs not at all.

But perception DOES matter in the work place and she may lose a lost of respect of her subordinates if they feel she isn't giving her job her all. And right now, in the moment, maybe that doesn't matter. But down the road - you never know how these people will play a role in your future.

As the OP is taking all this in, I suspect she's going to do her best to truly be a GOOD employee and show that this can work. And I hope she's able to make it work.

But I think it's short sighted to not be concerned about what your staff thinks about you on some levels.

DiveFrog · May 2014

dashofreality said:

Sorry, I do not understand the appeal. If you can do your job and bring your baby to work I would think that you could do your job from home without inconveniencing all of your coworkers and frankly creating a lot of additional stress on yourself.
Based on an odd circumstance I was requested to and brought my baby to work 1 day. I had an office with a door, as does everyone else on my floor, but I was still stressed anytime she started to make cry/fuss. I also just felt so unprofessional the entire time.
If it were me, I would push for as much remote work as possible with VTC at home and coming into the office if needed for an occasional meeting.
Yes, theoretically if you have an easy baby you can probably swing it, but do you really want to? What if you have a colicky baby? Do you have a backup plan?

This was my thought. It doesn't make sense to VTC from your office, do it from home. Then Just make arrangements for childcare at your house for a few half days a week that you need to come in and meet with your team, have staff meetings etc.

It will keep things more professional and keep the baby and all that goes with that out of the office, but still allow you to be with your baby most of the time.

akflutterby · May 2014

I did spend a lot of time before I left talking to my team about my plan to bring the baby to work. They all seemed on board and we're all given any opportunity to talk to me about any questions or concerns and also were encouraged to talk to my supervisor (both past and present). My present supervisor has also taken the time to sit down individually with each member of my team and talk with them to make sure we've made every effort to make them feel heard and make any adjustments we may need. We also plan on continuing to keep those lines of communication open so that as the realityof the situation sinks in, we can still be prepared and address people's needs. The situation may not change, because it is a written company policy, but I want to make sure that I'm doing everything I can to make my team feel as comfortable as possible. In the end, they are MY team and if I want them to work for me, I do have to care how they feel and respect them.

As for staying home longer, either on leave or work from home, it's not really an option. I only had 4 weeks of paid leave, so the last two were unpaid already and I'm not in a financial position to not receive a paycheck for the next 6 either. My company does have STD, but you have to have been there for 2yrs before it kicks in and I've been there a year and a half. Most of what I do at the office is approvals. I go through every batch of entries (payroll, AP, GL) and manually review them and approve them for processing, so I can't be home for that. While I could get away with being home for meetings and VTC'ing, they're generally only a small part of my day, so it wouldn't help too much to be home for that part and then go in.

As for the type of baby she is I'd have to say she's pretty easy, but not a unicorn or anything. She sleeps pretty well, gives lots of hunger cues before fussing, doesn't mind a dirty diaper or being changed, likes to be worn, loves to check everything out, will pass put wherever she is in whatever position, nurses really well, that kind of stuff. She does spit up fairly frequently though, so the changes of clothes idea is super helpful, but she's a happy spitter so even that's not TOO big of a deal. And, obviously, she's freaking adorable. Lol.

I'm going to give it a shot and see how it pans out. I'll look for a mother's helper though because I love that idea and if i find i really can't do it all, that is a "best of both worlds" option. Should that not pan out either I'll have no choice but to put her in day care.

cecilyandgautam · May 2014

I know of a company that officially has this as an option and I'm just not sure how it works, unless they're going to fundamentally change your portfolio for the months that you have baby in tow. I wouldn't be able to do my current work - with the meetings, research, etc - if my baby was with me. There are a few people who's jobs seem like they could be done while tending to a baby for half the day, but that's pretty rare.

I think it's really cool that they offer it, but I just have no idea how it works. I also like the idea of asking for 12 weeks off instead of 6 weeks with bringing in the baby to work until 6 months.

ASmallWonder · May 2014

As an individual contributor this may not be SO bad but as a manager? Yikes. My first thought was that if you were my supervisor and I was supposed to meet with you to review my work and you were wearing your baby and not giving me your full attention, I'd be pissed.

emberlee3 · May 2014

A lot of people seem to be commenting that it's a terrible idea because of x,y, and z about their own job. OP, it sounds like you have put a lot of forethought and planning into it. I hope it works out for you.

I also hope no one on this board ever uses the term "subordinates" again.

Maybride2 · May 2014

I'm not a "jealous harpy" because I would find a crying baby and the smell of diapers to be annoying and unprofessional in an office setting. Amy, are you one of those people who think that everyone who disagrees with you or doesn't like you is jealous of you? Like our mommies told us when we were kids?

Maybride2 · May 2014

And no, even if my company was crazy enough to offer such a policy, I'd never do it. Just like I'd never try to work from home without childcare. Because it sounds completely miserable, trying to do everything and be everything to everyone all at once. I have no interest in trying to do 2 all-consuming jobs at the same time. When I'm at work I work, when I'm at home I'm mom. And at both places I feel like I'm giving it my all.

shannm · May 2014

Maybride2 said:

And no, even if my company was crazy enough to offer such a policy, I'd never do it. Just like I'd never try to work from home without childcare. Because it sounds completely miserable, trying to do everything and be everything to everyone all at once. I have no interest in trying to do 2 all-consuming jobs at the same time. When I'm at work I work, when I'm at home I'm mom. And at both places I feel like I'm giving it my all.

I am like this too. I would feel so divided and guilty if I had the baby at work. I know I would because that is how I feel when I bring work home in the evenings and on weekends.

It stressed me out just seeing other people's kids at "take your child to work day."

akflutterby · May 2014

I should also add that I was a WAHM when DD was a baby (9yo now), so I've had the whole experience of trying to do a job and take care of a baby at the same time. I haven't really had any problems with smelly diapers at home, I EBF (which is why I can bring her to work in the first place - to maintain that) and we cloth diaper so everything goes straight into a wet bag, so I don't know how much of an issue that will be.

@beaubecca‌ I'd love to hear how it went with that teacher. Thanks! There are a few women on my BMB who do it and don't seem to be having any problems so far.

jf198400 · May 2014

amy052006 said:

Maybride2 said:
I'm not a "jealous harpy" because I would find a crying baby and the smell of diapers to be annoying and unprofessional in an office setting. Amy, are you one of those people who think that everyone who disagrees with you or doesn't like you is jealous of you? Like our mommies told us when we were kids?
I actually genuinely surprised that women in the work force would be so completely dismissive of progressive family friendly policies for valued employees. This topic comes up a lot, and a common response from some posters is always how babies at work/telecommuting/flex time/ whatever never works or will make you look like less of an employee. Yet more and more companies offer these options every day.

Companies implemented these policies, and I imagine women fought for them and worked hard to prove they were viable. Maybe if they are so annoying to you, you need to work somewhere a little more traditional. But I am glad more balanced options exist for people who value that.

If my employer told me my infant could come to work, and we agreed the set up was working and goals were being met, I would not care if a cry annoyed someone else. They are free to look for employment elsewhere baby free. I am sure there would be more than enough applicants happy to join a more progressive organization.

To me, bringing my baby to work and trying to do 2 FT jobs is NOT family friendly. You know what IS family friendly- Paid ML for the full 12 weeks, onsite Quality Daycare subsidized by the employer, flex/ PT scheduling to allow women to spend more time with their families, lots of PTO for sick kids and family time. A company that offered all of those things is one that I would consider Progressive.

rockychryslerb2010 · May 2014

I'm trying to have an open mind about this, but I just can't see this flying. Personally, I can't even imagine a workplace setting where bringing baby would be OK. I also can't imagine even wanting to be in that situation. I can't imagine walking into a meeting or one on one with someone who had a baby. I just feel like it puts you in a very difficult spot, and quite honestly, probably adds stress to an even more stressful situation.

Maybe company culture is so completely different than anything I've been exposed to, but I just don't see this as a good option for you. Sure, men should be accepting because it is company policy, but I think we all know what should happen and what does happen isn't always the same. I professionally wouldn't want to take advantage of something so isolating, that it would set me apart from all the men in my firm, and not in a good way. Pumping breaks and spending a day nursing, comforting, interacting and caring for a baby are not the same. I'm sorry, bringing baby to work would probably mean I was doing more work when I got home and could hand off baby to my partner. Nevermind the professional implications of bringing my baby to work

Like others have said, I would certainly try it out, but I would be amazed if it worked all the way to 6 months.

akflutterby · May 2014

I don't bring work home or have my partner there to pass LO off to when I do get home.

groovygrl · May 2014

I think a lot of the bringing baby to work thing depends on the workplace, role, expectations, physical environment, etc so I can't really say how it would or wouldn't work...that being said, if it is a policy at a workplace and I think of myself, how accepting would everyone have been if I had showed up w/ my infant twins? Wonder if the policy would have still applied...

rodiesmum · May 2014

Give it a try. Id give it a shot if i were in ur position. It is an advantage given to you, and youll only know it itd work if youd try.

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