2nd opinion update page 4

TeeJ526 · May 2014

Thinking of you!

ShelleyElla22 · May 2014

Thinking of you today. Hopefully this ultrasound will give you peace with whatever decision you ultimately make.

soccer4us2013 · May 2014

Good luck!! T&P's, please keep us posted, thinking of you!

MindyAndRyan · May 2014

A second opinion is always a good idea, especially for something so important. I hope you get the answers you need. You have been on my mind and in my heart.

morrkim · May 2014

Good luck! I will be praying for you.

staugustinewedding · May 2014

I will be thinking of you today! I hope your friend can bring you peace of mind and comfort.

lincoln79 · May 2014

Thinking of you today~

lisaren · May 2014

I went. Everything still looks the same. Heart still good. The ch measured 4.2 cm down back, 2cm at belly. My friend agreed this would be a horribly hard choice. I'm Not sure I feel anything one way or another... I need to just let everything settle in my thoughts.

I don't know if I should just continue carrying the baby and let nature take it's course, or stop everything now. Seems like both choices have incredibly hard outcomes.

Thank you for listening. And letting me talk everything out.

PandaCon · May 2014

So sorry that you have such a hard decition to make. I can't imagine having to decide what to do in your situation. We are all here if you need to talk, vent or anything else. Thinking of you and all the tough decisions you have to make!

Jpinky9 · May 2014

I am so sorry! I can't even imagine how hard it would be to make a decision like that! I am always thinking of you and sending you so many hugs!!

Sarahbeth612 · May 2014

I'm glad you went. I hope as things settle in, you will be able to gain some clarity and assurance in whatever the next step is from here.

You're awesome. xoxo

mander82 · May 2014

I am so sorry you are faced with this difficult decision......I cannot imagine being in your shoes. I hope that with time, the right decision becomes clearer for you. Thoughts and prayers to you and your family.

brooklyngirl18 · May 2014

i'm so sorry

a clear answer will present itself. i think you need to take some time to think and talk to DH and you will find your answer. big hugs for you and lo.

mamaluzi · May 2014

I'm not trying to offer unsolicited advice - I can't even imagine how hard this must be. But the thing is, if you choose to end things now, you know that that'll be the end. If you let nature take it's course, it might have the same outcome...or not. Nature has a chance of surprising you - something that the other choice doesn't have. Just food for thought, though I'm sure that your head and heart are very full right now. Whatever choice you make will be the right one. I'm so sorry you have to travel this difficult road, but no matter what, your baby is lucky to have such a wonderful, strong mother who loves him/her...and that will *always* be something to be sure of, whatever choice you make. Best of luck - you'll be in my prayers!!!

LongIslandMama1114 · May 2014

So sorry you're going through this.

amjung2103 · May 2014

T&P for you and your family!

jlove253 · May 2014

You have no need to rush a decision either way. And while things may not be easier if you wait, that doesn't mean you need to make a decision before you're ready.

I'm so sorry you're in this place. I'm glad you have a friend who can walk through this with you. Please keep sharing anything you need here. We obviously care about you.

mb314 · May 2014

I'm sorry. Whatever choice you make will not be easy, but whatever you decide, it will be for the best. Hang in there.

Ashleyrupert3211 · May 2014

I'm so sorry your going through this... My heart goes out to you Lisa!! Sending you hugs and lots of love from Hawaii. Be strong girlie

phdprocrastinator · May 2014

I am so sorry you're in this position. What a difficult decision to make. I'm glad you were able to get a second opinion from someone you trust. As others have said, there's no reason to rush your decision right now. *hugs*

Kristil2014 · May 2014

I am glad you were able to get a second opinion. I am so sorry you are going through this.

DoubleUp8 · May 2014

I am so sorry you are having to go through this. I hope you can find the right decision for you and your family. We are behind you no matter what!

MsMolly520 · May 2014

I've been thinking of you. I'm so sorry you're going through this. I hope whatever decision you make that peace will follow.

staugustinewedding · May 2014

aluzitano said:
I'm not trying to offer unsolicited advice - I can't even imagine how hard this must be. But the thing is, if you choose to end things now, you know that that'll be the end. If you let nature take it's course, it might have the same outcome...or not. Nature has a chance of surprising you - something that the other choice doesn't have. Just food for thought, though I'm sure that your head and heart are very full right now. Whatever choice you make will be the right one. I'm so sorry you have to travel this difficult road, but no matter what, your baby is lucky to have such a wonderful, strong mother who loves him/her...and that will *always* be something to be sure of, whatever choice you make. Best of luck - you'll be in my prayers!!!

This exactly.

shindylahoe · May 2014

Also not trying to give unsolicited advice... But I would like to share my personal experience with you.

I had a miscarriage with my first baby. I had the choice to have a d&c or I had the choice to let my self have a natural miscarriage.

I chose the natural miscarriage for a couple of reasons.

The first reason was that it allowed my body to go through labor. I wasn't pregnant one moment and then empty the next. I was able to process my loss much easier.

Which leads me to the second reason. I passed my baby. I was able to see my baby and burry my baby. My baby has a gravesite that I can visit.

When you have a d&c the doctors dispose of the body. You never see the baby. Also through the d&c process the doctors (trying to say this as tactful as possible) don't pull the baby out in one piece.

I agree with pp that nature sometimes has a way of working these things out but even if you end up loosing the baby doing it the natural way may be a more healing process for you. I know it was for me.

missnacholover · May 2014

(((Lisa)))

lisaren · May 2014

I appreciate everything y'all are saying. I feel like I know what I should do, but I second guess myself.
I can't even buy new toilet paper without researching!! Ha!

I can't even tell you how much it's helped just talking this out. Thank you a million times.

carcrashheart · May 2014

shindylahoe said:

Also not trying to give unsolicited advice... But I would like to share my personal experience with you. I had a miscarriage with my first baby. I had the choice to have a d&c or I had the choice to let my self have a natural miscarriage. I chose the natural miscarriage for a couple of reasons. The first reason was that it allowed my body to go through labor. I wasn't pregnant one moment and then empty the next. I was able to process my loss much easier. Which leads me to the second reason. I passed my baby. I was able to see my baby and burry my baby. My baby has a gravesite that I can visit. When you have a d&c the doctors dispose of the body. You never see the baby. Also through the d&c process the doctors (trying to say this as tactful as possible) don't pull the baby out in one piece. I agree with pp that nature sometimes has a way of working these things out but even if you end up loosing the baby doing it the natural way may be a more healing process for you. I know it was for me.

butting in.

this is not actually always the case. i have many friends that had a d&c and the hospital kept the babies and buried them. many of those hospitals hold a memorial service 2x a year for those babies and bury the new babies that have passed since the prior memorial service.

i'm sorry you're going through this. i can't imagine making such a decision. i've had 3 losses myself, all naturally, but i didn't need to make the choice of going through it naturally or having a d&c because they did all happen on their own. they were all early, and the physical pain was more than i anticipated every single time. and i actually did not see any of those babies pass. i didn't catch the clot that held any of those babies. and they all got flushed down the toilet, which makes me sad to think about. flushing a baby down the toilet seems no better than a hospital that may dispose of the baby with medical waste. but that's JMO. i've also had several friends that had to make a similar decision around 20w. i also had a friend that had bad news at their NT scan, but they held on hope. things weren't really any different at her 16w follow up. a couple of weeks later the baby passed, a doctor confirmed it, and she delivered. they all have had a hard time with their decisions and all would admit that it's something you can't really know what you would do until you are in the situation. so i won't even pretend to know what i would do. good luck with your decisions. whatever you decide to do though is the right thing and the best thing for YOU. that is what matters most.

Maelara · May 2014

I'm so sorry to have to deal with this. You are doing the best you can and I know you'll make the absolute best decision you can.

shindylahoe · May 2014

carcrashheart said:

shindylahoe said:

Also not trying to give unsolicited advice... But I would like to share my personal experience with you.

I had a miscarriage with my first baby. I had the choice to have a d&c or I had the choice to let my self have a natural miscarriage.

I chose the natural miscarriage for a couple of reasons.

The first reason was that it allowed my body to go through labor. I wasn't pregnant one moment and then empty the next. I was able to process my loss much easier.

Which leads me to the second reason. I passed my baby. I was able to see my baby and burry my baby. My baby has a gravesite that I can visit.

When you have a d&c the doctors dispose of the body. You never see the baby. Also through the d&c process the doctors (trying to say this as tactful as possible) don't pull the baby out in one piece.

I agree with pp that nature sometimes has a way of working these things out but even if you end up loosing the baby doing it the natural way may be a more healing process for you. I know it was for me.

butting in.

this is not actually always the case. i have many friends that had a d&c and the hospital kept the babies and buried them. many of those hospitals hold a memorial service 2x a year for those babies and bury the new babies that have passed since the prior memorial service.

i'm sorry you're going through this. i can't imagine making such a decision. i've had 3 losses myself, all naturally, but i didn't need to make the choice of going through it naturally or having a d&c because they did all happen on their own. they were all early, and the physical pain was more than i anticipated every single time. and i actually did not see any of those babies pass. i didn't catch the clot that held any of those babies. and they all got flushed down the toilet, which makes me sad to think about. flushing a baby down the toilet seems no better than a hospital that may dispose of the baby with medical waste. but that's JMO. i've also had several friends that had to make a similar decision around 20w. i also had a friend that had bad news at their NT scan, but they held on hope. things weren't really any different at her 16w follow up. a couple of weeks later the baby passed, a doctor confirmed it, and she delivered. they all have had a hard time with their decisions and all would admit that it's something you can't really know what you would do until you are in the situation. so i won't even pretend to know what i would do. good luck with your decisions. whatever you decide to do though is the right thing and the best thing for YOU. that is what matters most.

I'm glad you could share another side of things. I was only sharing from my personal experience. I'm sorry for your losses.

dr_pr · May 2014

Continued hugs and prayers to you during this very difficult time.

lizzielu82 · May 2014

Big hugs to you @lisaren - sounds like you are doing all the right things in helping to figure out what's the next best step for you and your family. I really admire your strength!

mamatohne · May 2014

I cannot even imagine what you are going through! But truly there is no right or wrong answer only the decision that is the best for you and your family.

tlc35 · May 2014

Shit, I just saw all that is going on since I haven't been on this board. I'm so sorry and I wish you peace with whatever you decide.

DisneyDee1984 · May 2014

No advice from me, just lots and lots of love. Whatever you do decide, know that that decision is the right one for you and your family, and all of us stand by you. You're such an incredibly strong, amazing, loving woman, and this baby is so lucky to have you as it's mother. We're all equally lucky to have you as a friend.

Izzygrim · May 2014

I haven't intro'd on this board yet (I still haven't told all of my IRL friends about my pregnancy) but I just have to send my thoughts and prayers to you. I knew/know someone who had a baby with hydrops and something else, I don't know the details exactly as we aren't very close, but her daughter is now 5 years old and I know she went through a lot. I get the sense that she found a lot of support from online communities and Facebook groups. Maybe hearing stories and talking to other moms in your exact or similar situation can help you wrap your head around all of this. Best wishes to you.

lisaren · May 2014

My baby has a cystic hygroma it measures 4.2 cm from crown to rump and 2 cm on belly.
In thickness it's just shy of 2cm.

Heart rate is 168.
I'm 12w 2d. According to US.

Do I have the D&E on Tuesday. Over And we start the healing process and move forward.

Wait for harmony test next Friday, possibly do amnio in a few weeks if harmony comes back negative.

If all test continue to come back clear just let nature take it's course with the understanding that the baby can pass at any time in utero, or I could deliver a baby that passes away at birth or soon after.

Every single choice seems to potentially have a heartbreaking consequence.

My H does not want me to deliver a baby who has passed away, he's afraid of how that would effect me.

Right now this baby is moving and looks healthy despite the cystic hygroma.

The MFM (both of them) have said this is a very extensive one. The possibility of it going away is small almost impossible.

I have a call into my MW to call me. If for some reason she does not call me over the weekend, I will see her on Monday. I am aiming to waiting for blood test on Friday. Canceling Tuesday. But I need to from a medical standpoint what she thinks.
She deals with this more..
My BFF that did the US talked with a friend of hers that does high risk obgyn in Charlotte, and this is what she said....

"Talked to my ob friend who knows all, she says harmony will most likely come back normal with hygromas, but one that extensive most likely will not make it to term. She has followed a mother that all three of her babies have hygromas but are fine now. It's a coin toss. She said if it were me with hygromas I'd have to carry and let nature take its course. Just more info to the one id listen too if it were me"

I feel like I'm on a scavenger hunt gathering clues

I hope each of you have an amazing Saturday!

pugnpenguin · May 2014

I'm late to the game but I've been praying for you @lisaren .

FirstBabyDoyle · May 2014

Your friends OB seemed to have some really solid advice. I can't imagine being faced with something of this magnitude and remaining so strong like you have. I really, really admire you. I also did sins googling just now and saw lots of fifty-fifty situations with hygromas. This one was pretty touching as her babies hygroma seems to be similar in size :

mamaluzi · May 2014

It seems like your ob friend is saying that a choice that provides a little hope is better than one that provides none at all.

I really admire your courage through this. Please continue to keep us updated - thinking of you every day!!!

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