Bedtime advice?

jesuisfatiguee · May 2014

Bedtime has been quite the ordeal in the Frenchie home for about a week now. At this point, I'm tired of doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. DS gets up juuust before 6 AM every morning. On the weekends, he'll usually take a 1.5 - 2 hour nap in the mornings, and a 1.5-2 hour nap in the afternoons, going to bed around 7. Lately, if I don't hit perfect timing for either of his naps (catching the sleepy cues immediately), he's been really tough to get down. During the week, he only gets one 2-ish hour nap at daycare most days.

We get home in the evenings around 6 PM. At this time he is usually acting sleepy and cranky and fussy, laying his head down on the floor, or insisting on being held or worn. I usually can have some kind of dinner ready for him at 6:20-ish, sometimes sooner, then of course, he's eating until 6:45 or later. I try to get him to bed by 7, but lately it's been taking an hour or longer for him to settle down to sleep. He's been a nurse-to-sleep kid since forever, but it's never taken this long for him to relax and start to dose. And even when he doesn't conk out until 8:30, he's still up no later than 6:30AM, usually earlier.

We bedshare and CIO is not an option I'm willing to consider. But WWYD? Would you just get him to bed at 6:30 with no dinner? Do bedtime at 8 instead of 7? I'm not sure what to do

Drea926 · May 2014

Is it possible for him to have dinner at daycare? That way you can get him to bed a little earlier?

jesuisfatiguee · May 2014

I don't know if they'd be willing to that, but I'll ask. He has a snack at 3:30-ish (usually fruit or cheese and some crackers brought from home), and they give him 4 oz breast milk at 4 or 4:30. He wants to nurse every day at pickup, which is fine, but sometimes he's legit hungry and it takes for-ev-er when I just want to get moving. We'd get home arlier if we could eliminate that session entirely.

ETA, this is in response to @Drea926. I'm quote-failing like a noob

jesuisfatiguee · May 2014

DC2London said:

Ughhh that is tough It sounds like he is missing his sleep window, and I don't know how to fix that for you.

Yes, this is exactly it. I've been burned by missing the window for naps, but the bedtime thing is gonna drive me bonkers lol

jesuisfatiguee · May 2014

Dinner usually is reheated leftovers or microwave steamed veggies. I love the idea of giving him something to feed himself in the car, but he is not an all-star self-feeder. Whenever I've tried to get him to eat something - even like a pouch - by himself, only about 20% of it ends up in his belly. Half the time he looks at me like I'm trippin' and just throws it on the ground. This is the kid who will only drink milk from an open cup with assistance, and will only drink small amounts of water from a sippy. It's super, super frustrating lol

djm31012 · May 2014

we have a similar night time schedule...we do pick up at 545, home at 6...dinner sometime around 630 (usually a little earlier)...then right up for bath/bottle bed. Make sure your bedtime routine is where you start the calming/settling/soothing. Dont just rely on nursing for that since it does take him a bit to calm down. While i am usually not one to be a proponent of an over tired baby..i think you need an extra 15-30 minutes at night. I would not encourage skipping dinner...in my experience a hungry baby is just as bad as an overtired baby!! I like DCs suggestion...or maybe daycare can even give him something around 530 right before you get there so that dinner is even faster at home? we also do the 2 naps on the weekend and 1 nap at daycare. i have no idea how he goes from 630am to 1230pm without napping...but he does..and hes not even that much of a bear at night! its so hard and so frustrating! i am with you.

ally2011 · May 2014

je+suis=fatiguee said:

I don't know if they'd be willing to that, but I'll ask. He has a snack at 3:30-ish (usually fruit or cheese and some crackers brought from home), and they give him 4 oz breast milk at 4 or 4:30. He wants to nurse every day at pickup, which is fine, but sometimes he's legit hungry and it takes for-ev-er when I just want to get moving. We'd get home arlier if we could eliminate that session entirely.

ETA, this is in response to @Drea926. I'm quote-failing like a noob

Could you give him a string cheese to eat on the way home? Or have his dinner already made to just heat up?

jesuisfatiguee · May 2014

I think that after-daycare nursing session is DS' way to chill and reconnect with me after a busy day. He's a pretty chill kid and a DC center is not a chill place, so I get why he wants/needs it. I'll just try to get his dinner heated as soon as we walk in the door tonight and hopefully speed that part of it up.

Thanks for all the respones, everyone

jesuisfatiguee · May 2014

Just a quick update… I had a meeting run late yesterday, so no early bedtime for DS

BUT I did get him home at the usual time tonight, got some dinner in him within a few minutes of getting home, and got him to sleep by 7:30. He didn't just drift off like he has in the past (I can probably thank MFing DST for that), but it was sooo much easier tonight.

Just AW'ing my mini victory thanks to the advice and encouragement of you wonderful people!

jesuisfatiguee · May 2014

Sterling13 said:

This might be a no brainer but we got blackout curtains after DST kicked in and DS has slept so much better with them. Just another thought if you're not already using them! Glad things went better last night!

I have some, but I haven't been able to find any long enough. We have one of those stupid sliding doors leading out to the balcony in the bedroom. So, the window is *mostly* covered, but not perfectly.

jesuisfatiguee · May 2014

There definitely isn't time for both dinner and a bath each night. I only fully bathe him a few days a week (sometimes in the evening, sometimes he showers with me in the morning), because he's got sensitive skin. We're also still working on the "no standing in the tub" thing, which tends to turn into a struggle instead of a relaxing time.

Toddlers are hard lol

Rosebean · May 2014

Sorry, I don't think I will be much help. DS is pretty cranky when he gets home each day and I find it's the same race to get dinner on the table so he can eat and go to bed. Bedtime used to be between 6-7, but now its more like 7-8 with making dinner and settling in. But those hours are very needy hours. This is where his 3rd snack of the day comes in. I always feed him something the second I get home... yogurt, or fruit or a muffin, cereal bar... whatever is easy and fast. Lately, the best occupier is an apple. A whole apple. He just walks around the house with it, eats from it, and spits out the peel (which thrills the dog... which then thrills me because "what mess?"). Then he gets dinner and off to bed as soon as he is done. I vote for either a car snack, or a snack the second you get home to tie over until supper is ready (who cares if they are close together, calories are calories and those kids need them).

As to bed being hard, I am a CIO advocate, so I am the wrong person there to suggest something to help you out.

Sorry. Because we established CIO pretty early on, DS goes to be when he is put to bed and it's done. But he was happier that way. It worked for him because that's what he needed. Which is why I would never push it on you because you need to do what works for your child.

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