Time for friends?

readyornot12345 · May 2014

As a FTm and working mom I feel like I have zero time for myself or time for hanging with friends. I have seen friends I think 4-5 times since dec. I guess leaving lo gives me a ton of guilt since I work full time. Also dh and I haven't had a date night. I guess I'm just worried I will lose all my close friends. I just don't know how to manage it all.

BoothBaby · May 2014

I know what you mean. Don't feel guilty about taking some time for yourself though! Its good for you, and good bonding time for daddy.

Or what about a girls dinner one night after LO is in bed?

Mrbatesisinnocent · May 2014

Heaven802002 said:
You mean you haven't lost them all already? Lol I'm kidding sorry. I just feel like once you get pregnant friends disappear.

Don't feel guilty about taking time to yourself. It's healthy for you and your LO.

Ha! Unfortunately this.

cammyisagirlsname · May 2014

I have not once had a girls night out. And I only have one friend who comes over often. Everyone else either has come seen LO once or not at all. It's all good!

Caitlinh27 · May 2014

I haven't had a girls night either, but then again that's because I don't really want to. I would rather be sleeping.

dollypardon · May 2014

Guys, this is part of why I'm still always lurking on the bump. I came for the pregnancy chat and stayed cuz the friends fled. We still talk and keep in touch, but my IRL friend hangouts are so few and far between. Other than lack of sleep, I think it's the hardest part about being a new parent.

KFED103 · May 2014

OP, I'd say if are hanging out with your friends once a month you are doing a pretty good job. Ch ch ch changes

[Deleted User] · May 2014

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KateVA · May 2014

I see my friends frequently but it's because they are all moms, too. So it's family stuff or play dates, not girls nights. There have been some girls nights but I skip them. Too tired.

Aycul18 · May 2014

I agree with @hercules03‌ The real ones won't leave. They'll understand... And it's common. I don't see my friends nearly as much as I used to. People grow up and are in different stages. It'll even out again later :-)

notkateanymore · May 2014

You just have to take time for yourself if you want it. Being a martyr isn't going to help you or your relationship with your husband or friends. The baby will be fine with your DH or even with a sitter.

notkateanymore · May 2014

I'm also shocked that so many people had friends disappear. I think that's an age/maturity thing. None of my friends did anything but support me during my pregnancy...but we're old.

notkateanymore · May 2014

Well if you were the one holding up the friendship, it will naturally disappear if you step back. It sucks, but it's good to focus on the healthy friendships instead of the one-sided ones.

lifesaverz · May 2014

I agree with Kate, my friends were supportive, & yeah some were afraid things would change but really they haven't changed that much. We still make an effort, & so do they. OP I agree with pps, you just have to take the time to do it sometimes. And it doesn't necessarily have to be a "LO free night/occasion", I mean I take LO with me for lots of things & still have fun, or I have friends come over to our house & that makes it easy. Those might be good places to start, & yes, def make time to go on a date with your H! I want to do this more but our schedules are so crazy right now.

swirl25 · May 2014

KateMW said:
I'm also shocked that so many people had friends disappear. I think that's an age/maturity thing. None of my friends did anything but support me during my pregnancy...but we're old.

Same here...most of my friends are in the same or a similar life stage as me, so that makes it easier to stay in touch and make time to hang out once a month or so. That can be in the form of playdates with my kids and theirs. And it so happens that my BFF is still single, but she is DD1's godmother and loves her to death, so we see her all the time. For my own sanity, I leave the kids with DH every so often and go out for dinner and drinks with her and my other girlfriends...some of us are moms and some are not. Also, as you make new mom friends you will figure out how to juggle old friends vs. new friends w/ kids.

notthecheat · May 2014

readyornot12345 said:
As a FTm and working mom I feel like I have zero time for myself or time for hanging with friends. I have seen friends I think 4-5 times since dec. I guess leaving lo gives me a ton of guilt since I work full time. Also dh and I haven't had a date night. I guess I'm just worried I will lose all my close friends. I just don't know how to manage it all.

I hear you. This is me to a T. It's a little lonely sometimes.

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