Things you thought were true

Rxmom04 · May 2014

My great grandmother told us all kinds of crazy things. The biggest two I remember from her watching me as a child- don't chew on your hair because she knew a girl who did that and had to have surgery to have a giant hair ball removed from her stomach. Similarly, don't swallow gum because she knew some little kid that had to have a giant ball of gum removed too.

Oh and my favorite from later on- don't pull that bottle out of your child's mouth. You have to roll the nipple out because she once knew a mother who didn't and she pulled out the child's tongue along with the bottle.

nolagal79 · May 2014

jillyjill1026sr said:
The reason I had so many ear infections is because spiders crawled in my ears and laid eggs at night. I believed that for many, many years.

I may have nightmares about this tonight!! Ewwww spiders!!

ready-or-not · May 2014

This is bad, don't judge me I was a kid:

My BFF when I was little had no fingers on one hand, just little nubs & a deformed thumb. It was a birth defect. I seriously thought if she ever touched me with "the nubs" that my fingers would shrivel off & I would be left with nubs too. I haven't talked to her in 20 years probably but still feel bad about the extreme measures I took to stay away from that hand....

chardonnay24 · May 2014

My dad told me that if you didn't chew raw carrots well enough, you'd vomit. I still don't really eat raw carrots to this day.

My mom told us not to stick our fingers out the window of the car because there was a man on top of the car who would chop off our fingers.

I also believed that our cat ran away until I was about 24.

missyishere · May 2014

My brother and I figured out what flipping people off meant when we were young. My mom decided to correct us by telling us it was the index finger instead, so we were going around angrily pointing at people.

missyishere · May 2014

Another funny and mildly inappropriate parenting moment for my mom:

My brother's favorite movie when he was maybe 4 was Die Hard. He really liked the "Yipee Kiyai..."part of the movie. My mom told him it wa only mother not fucker, so a little preschooler ran around going, " yipee kayai yay, mother mother! "

NotSharknado · May 2014

Mom would tell us if we ate watermelon seeds we'd grow watermelons in are bellies.

I tell Sophia that she has to let me brush her teeth so I can clean the bugs out. It works. I'm not even ashamed.

NotSharknado · May 2014

My older siblings convinced me that pennies were worth more than quarters.

wesleycrusher · May 2014

Spooko said:

I knew someone who still believed in HS that brown cows gave chocolate milk.

I was older than I care to admit when I learned that humans drink milk from all cows- I thought the black & white ones were raised for milk only and brown and black cows were for meat only.

Also into my twenties I thought that astronauts trained in a zero-gravity room on Earth, I guess I never really thought about it enough to realize that would be impossible. DH still makes fun of me about this.

minervacullen · May 2014

I have a friend who thinks that since she had braces her kids will have straight teeth.
I've tried so hard to they her to understand that is not going to happen.
She tells at me when I do, so I stopped.

Monkeybabe · May 2014

minervacullen said:

I have a friend who thinks that since she had braces her kids will have straight teeth. I've tried so hard to they her to understand that is not going to happen. She tells at me when I do, so I stopped.

minervacullen · May 2014

justAphase said:

minervacullen said:

I have a friend who thinks that since she had braces her kids will have straight teeth.
I've tried so hard to they her to understand that is not going to happen.
She tells at me when I do, so I stopped.

No fucking way.

I swear!

kmm2150 · May 2014

My brother and I were convinced we would instantly die or something if we didn't have seatbelts on in the car. I'm still a freak about my seatbelt and put it on even if I'm just pulling the car into the garage or something.

Snapdragon750 · May 2014

This is the truth: I never believed anything my mom ever told me again after about age 7, after the time she got me to go on the log flume by telling me it "didn't go down."

So now I can't bring myself to tell even the dumbest little lies to my toddler because I'm afraid she'll hold it against me forever and never trust me again.

KMRR86 · May 2014

My mom told me that chocolate milk came from brown cows. I believed that for a long time.

She also told me that she found me in the dumpster at the hospital and decided to bring me home. She still thinks this is hilarious but i think it's kind of mean. I would never tell my dd i found her in the garbage.

DreadLoc · May 2014

justAphase said:

Kissing got you pregnant

i thought this because of the movies "look who's talking". making out scene then BAM, sperm meets egg.

thank god for a HS health teacher who said "fuck it" to the abstinence only curriculum.

Monkeybabe · May 2014

I knew a girl in HS, that was hysterical because she thought she was going to get pregnant from swallowing after a giving a BJ. Our school was pretty awful about sex ed.

jackdaniels13 · May 2014

@readyornot412‌ I am dying laughing at the nub story. I know it's wrong but reading it made me laugh hard.

My dad told me I was left on the porch in a basket & they just kept me. I thought I was a the odd man out for some time.
My brother also told me flipping off 18 wheelers was how you got them to honk at you. It worked & my mother was horrified to find me giving the bird on road trips.

Maebb · May 2014

My parents told me that if I ran out in the street, I'd get smashed like a pancake. I don't know if I agree with that parenting tactic, but it convinced me not to do it.

One time I was complaining about going to bed - I was maybe 5. My dad said, "Ok, you don't have to go to bed. You can go to Lily White's party at the corner of Sheets and Blankets Street." I was so disappointed when I started getting excited about the party, and I found out that also meant bed.

I'm trying to think what else. My mom told me when I was a teenager that all she and dad did before getting married was kiss, and he touched her boob once, but it made her have impure thoughts, so they didn't do that anymore. I asked if you can get pregnant from oral sex, and she said, "Why would you want to put your mouth on something pee comes out of?" and she insisted that she never did that because it's nasty. To this day I still don't know if she was serious about those things or if she was just trying to convince me not to do it.

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