D&C tomorrow (loss mentioned)

KatzKiss · May 2014

Sorry to be all gloom and doom but I was hoping some people could share their experiences with the procedure and the healing process after- mental and physical. Mine is scheduled tomorrow (my fucking wedding anniversary) at noon. I would love any T&Ps you could throw my way. I'm sorry if this is a better question for the loss boards, but I don't know them and I'm just not ready to go over there yet.

mommy2C · May 2014

No real advice Katz but I just wanted to say that you will be in my thoughts tomorrow and how sorry I am that you have to go through this.

YellowBag · May 2014

I am so sorry. I didn't elect a D&C so I can't give any insight, but my heart goes out to you.

AmandaLeeBest · May 2014

No experience with the D & C.

T&P to you and your DH.

Snickerdoodle24 · May 2014

I'm so very sorry. No advice, but you'll be in the thoughts tomorrow.

rockopera · May 2014

No advice, but thinking about you. Take care of yourself.

klmcguire · May 2014

I don't really have any experience, but I just wanted to say I am sorry and hope everything goes smooth for you. Good luck!

Gigi0308 · May 2014

I'm not of much help, but I wanted to let you know you'll be in my thoughts and prayers. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Milagros315 · May 2014

I don't have any advice, but I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

pippacricket · May 2014

No advice but you and your DH will be in my T&Ps. Happy anniversary.

LollyLawlz · May 2014

I haven't been around much but I wanted to offer some thoughts and prayers to you. For me the d&c was easy, they put me to sleep and then it was just over. Mentally it was hard only because I knew what had just happened but I suffered very minimal cramping afterwards. Take good care of yourself and I send you the very best wishes.

TheBorg7of9 · May 2014

I'm sorry for your loss. I have been through it and it's not physically bad. Emotionally, I felt much better when it was done.

Here is a thread from the miscarriage board with lots of personal stories.
https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12305957/what-i-wish-i-knew-post-d-c#latest

IHeartScience · May 2014

I'm so sorry that this is happening. Not dc specific, but think about finding a few good friends that you are comfortable telling what is going on. People you can lean on and vent to while you are heading physically and mentally. Thinking of you.

Sewfie · May 2014

I don't have any advice, but I'm sorry for your loss. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow.

traversity773 · May 2014

no advice, but all the love and prayers to you tomorrow, be kind to yourself, I am sorry you have to go through this.

KatzKiss · May 2014

@thdpr‌ I'm sorry for your loss too. T&Ps right back at you.

JRClaire · May 2014

No advice but wanted to offer my thoughts and prayers and tell you I'm so sorry for your loss.

hullabalou · May 2014

I am so sorry for your loss. I just had my D&C three weeks ago. Feel free to PM if you want to talk about anything.

The doctors gave me an anti-anxiety cocktail because I have a big fear of anesthesia, so I was really calm.before they put me under. I wasn't in any pain upon waking and they sent me home with painkillers. I bled lightly for a few days, no cramps until three days post surgery. Those cramps were pretty painful, but manageable with the pain medicine I was prescribed and a heating bad. The bleeding came and went for two weeks, and I passed a few clots a few times. It was definitely a bigger struggle mentally than physically.

Again, I am so sorry for your loss and I am here if you want or need to talk.

shlittertoots · May 2014

I had a loss but no experience with a D&C--I just wanted to say I'm sending you prayers and I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's devastating and my heart breaks for you. ((Hugs))

KatzKiss · May 2014

mrskbuck said:

I am so sorry for your loss. I just had my D&C three weeks ago. Feel free to PM if you want to talk about anything. The doctors gave me an anti-anxiety cocktail because I have a big fear of anesthesia, so I was really calm.before they put me under. I wasn't in any pain upon waking and they sent me home with painkillers. I bled lightly for a few days, no cramps until three days post surgery. Those cramps were pretty painful, but manageable with the pain medicine I was prescribed and a heating bad. The bleeding came and went for two weeks, and I passed a few clots a few times. It was definitely a bigger struggle mentally than physically. Again, I am so sorry for your loss and I am here if you want or need to talk.

I'm so happy to see you here! I'm glad we're on the same board again even if it is under crappy circumstances.

iliketurtles17 · May 2014

I too, went through a D&C in December. I'm so sorry for your loss and that this is happening to you.

The procedure for me was less emotionally devastating. I was grateful that it could be over sooner than later. Granted, my doc advised against a natural MC for me given my circumstances, but I felt ok knowing it'd be over and I could start to move on right away.

The procedure itself is not invasive, took 30 minutes. (I was in the hospital for several hours with prep, but the surgery didn't take long) I was in a great deal of emotional pain, but the recovery physically for me was pretty easy. I bled heavy-ish for the next couple days. I stayed on top of the pain meds for a preventative, but I didn't suffer from cramping or discomfort like some do. Drink an insane amount of water and eat plenty of fiber. I suffered impaction after the surgery and I do not wish that on anyone!

I bled/spotted for about 2 weeks after, and eventually it tapered off. I got my first period 6 weeks after it was done.

My heart goes out to you during this time, it is definitely difficult. I took comfort in knowing and really believing that for whatever reason this baby wasn't meant to be. There was nothing that I did or could have done to prevent it.

My due date was July and I know I will feel a stab of pain on that day, but I feel like I healed from the event at a healthy rate. Just be patient with yourself and your husband.

My husband took it harder than I did, I think. While he was worried about me and was devastated I had to endure that, he was sincerely in mourning. Let him help you, even if it's silly small things. It's helpful to him, or at least was to mine.

Hugs to you both. Good luck, take a deep breath! Everything will be ok, I promise.

catmagick · May 2014

I'm so sorry Katz :-( what a shitty way to spend your anniversary. *hugs*

hullabalou · May 2014

KatzKiss said:

mrskbuck said:

I am so sorry for your loss. I just had my D&C three weeks ago. Feel free to PM if you want to talk about anything.

The doctors gave me an anti-anxiety cocktail because I have a big fear of anesthesia, so I was really calm.before they put me under. I wasn't in any pain upon waking and they sent me home with painkillers. I bled lightly for a few days, no cramps until three days post surgery. Those cramps were pretty painful, but manageable with the pain medicine I was prescribed and a heating bad. The bleeding came and went for two weeks, and I passed a few clots a few times. It was definitely a bigger struggle mentally than physically.

Again, I am so sorry for your loss and I am here if you want or need to talk.

I'm so happy to see you here! I'm glad we're on the same board again even if it is under crappy circumstances.
-----end quote-----

Aw, me too!

lebradford · May 2014

I don't have any advice, but I just wanted to say that I'm so, so sorry. It's such a shitty way to spend your anniversary. Big hugs.

evalynn24 · May 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss

I had a D&C in August and the surgery itself was quick and not painful. My advice would be to schedule a massage a couple days after. It was a quick surgery, but for some reason my muscles did not like being in whatever position they had me in. I had a huge knot it my shoulder area that took almost 3 weeks to work out.

I had mine on a Thursday and I didn't bleed at all (except for right after the surgery for about an hour) until Tuesday when I passed a large clot. If this happens just be sure to take the pain medicine and you should be fine.

Emotionally I was a wreck and my advice there is to lean on your SO so you both can get through the pain together. I broke down one day and told my husband that it didn't happen to him and he should be making me feel better and it doesn't matter how he feels, but that's soooo not true!
I hope your surgery is completely pain free. T&P for a quick emotional recovery as well.

KatzKiss · May 2014

jenniferevans24 said:

I'm so sorry for your loss
I had a D&C in August and the surgery itself was quick and not painful. My advice would be to schedule a massage a couple days after. It was a quick surgery, buts for some reason my muscles did not like being in whatever position they had me in. I had a huge knot it my shoulder area that took almost 3 weeks to work out.
I had mine on a Thursday and I didn't bleed at all (except for right after the surgery for about an hour) until Tuesday when I passed a large clot. If this happens just be sure to take the pain medicine and you should be fine.
Emotionally I was a wreck and my advice there is to lean on your SO so you both can get through the pain together. I broke down one day and told my husband that it didn't happen to him and he should be making me feel better and it doesn't matter how he feels, but that's soooo not true!
I hope your surgery is completely pain free. T&P for a quick emotional recovery as well.

So passing that clot hurt?

SchoolPsychSteph · May 2014

(Hugs) sometimes there are no words.

12chachacha · May 2014

I'm so sorry. What I don't have in advice I'll make up for in Ts and Ps.

4RingCircus · May 2014

Sending lots of T&Ps your way.

URMySunshine77 · May 2014

I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. My thoughts are with you.

snooks721 · May 2014

I'm sorry, I don't have any advice but I just wanted to let you know you will be in my T&P today.

ImJessesGirl · May 2014

I am so very sorry! You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Jay_Cee · May 2014

No advice, but I'll be keeping you in my thoughts. Hugs.

KatzKiss · May 2014

@katydid2014‌ so far, the only silver lining has been seeing my old N14 friends on here even if it is shitty circumstances. I missed you!

Turangaleela · May 2014

I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this.

I have never had one, but I was a caretaker for my close friend and roommate when she had one. When she came out of anesthesia she got sick. She told me that the same thing happened when she had a tonsillectomy, so that is simply how her body reacts to anesthesia. Luckily, the nausea didn't last.

After her initial sickness, she wasn't in too much physical pain. After she slept a few hours at home, she said she was feeling mild cramping, but nothing that even motivated her to take the extra pain meds the doctor sent home with her. That combined with the bleeding (which lasted about a day), I remember her mentioning that she could almost convince herself that she was just having a regular period.

Her mental pain was a different story. In addition to the expected pain of what happened, her fiance was deployed at the time (air force), so that made things tougher. She'd go from crying to wanting to distract herself with a funny movie (Happy Gilmore, I think it was), making jokes and seeming fine--then crying again. And you know what? That was ok. That is what she needed to do to get through it.

If I can give you any advice, it's to just let yourself feel your emotions. If you want to cry, do it. If you want to laugh, do that too. Don't try to suppress your feelings. You can get through this.

KerBear8 · May 2014

No advice but I wanted to say that you'll be in my thoughts. Good luck and try and enjoy your anniversary

kerbear135 · May 2014

I am so sorry for your loss. I hope your procedure goes as quickly and smoothly as possible.

SpartanChick88 · May 2014

I opted for cytotec so my experience was different but the emotional healing was the hardest part. Just give yourself time and allow yourself to feel whatever you need to feel. Don't let anyone tell you to "get over it" or "move on". You will when you are ready. PM if you need a shoulder. Hugs

[Deleted User] · May 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss

RunBooRun · May 2014

I have no advice, but I'm sorry for your loss. It sucks that you have to deal with this on your anniversary.

Pintobean39 · May 2014

I'm so sorry. I'm an open book about all of my losses and if you have any questions feel free to ask here or you can PM me.

I've had 3 D&C's and never had any problems. Mentally it's horrible and I don't know any way around that. I'll have to say the nurses always seem to be extra sweet. They will give you something in your IV for anxiety if needed before the procedure. This is the one time I always says I want whatever you have. They have always knocked me out before I even got back to the OR room when in other surgeries they usually wait until I'm in the OR. Afterwards I have very minimal bleeding and it just takes a few days to a week for my body not to "feel" pregnant anymore. I usually go home afterwards and sleep the rest of the day. My dr's have always given me a rx of pain meds but I've never needed it.

My last 2 D&C's my body starting trying to lose the baby on its on. That was a whole different experience before because I was having very painful contractions. I'm not sure if it's because of my muscle problems that I have more pain or not. My neurologist told me any time of trauma makes my muscles contract more so it's possible those are going to be worse. My first one my body never got the memo so I never felt anything I actually waited a week before my D&c. Personally I don't like waiting I just want it over with so I can start the mental healing process and when your body feels pregnant it's hard.

Good luck tomorrow, and take care of yourself.

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