Full time working mommies

Stodre · May 2014

Hi .. I'm yet to have our preemie, but a preemie she will be. I am currently 30 weeks 5 days pregnant on hospital bed rest due to PPROM. .. Hoping and praying to get to 34 weeks.
Before this I worked full time and loved my career!!! I have every intention of going back -- for a few reasons: I love my job, I make pretty good money and I carry the insurance. My husband is a police officer so we both work full time, but i just can't imagine quitting. I will if I need to for my daughter, though. We also have two other kids -- attending private school -- so we really need both incomes.
Anyway.. My question...
If you worked full time outside of the home how did U manage with a preemie and how long before you went back??

brachysira · May 2014

I am not a full time working mom, so I am not exactly the person to answer. I do teach part time. I think part of the reason I am not working full time is because we had a preemie and I couldn't leave her. But she was my first, so I might have felt that way about any baby.

Here is what I would worry about:

First, it really depends on what happens. Your doctors can advise you more. Babies who have breathing issues usually do not belong in daycare because things that knock down full term babies every other week can mean a hospital visit for a LO who was very early. If you have a nanny or grandparent, this works fine.

Second, there are sometimes many, many appointments. If you have a reliable caregiver, this person can go. However, sometimes you want to go. Like, you want to be there to discuss eye surgery or your baby's development. It's hard to know what kind of appointments you'll need in advance, or sometimes even when you are leaving the NICU. Sometimes you have a lot of appts right away, but other times you're dealing with things years out. As long as mom, dad, or someone else who you trust and spends a lot of time with LO can get off work for these things, you can still work.

Third, preemies can be like newborns longer--at least as long as they would be newborns from their due date. There can be reflux that is hard to control that results in a lot of late night/all day screaming. I would take off for M-leave at least as long as you are planning to if she is full term, even if this is a couple months longer all together. M was born at 32 weeks and only spent 10 days in the NICU and I would say it took 3-4 months before we were feeling normal. Of course, many moms go to work tired, and you can too. I would think that you would need a very reliable caregiver/grandma/nanny. Sometimes growth is an issue, so you have to feed on a schedule, be aggressive about it, and supplement calories. You definitely want to have someone in place who can handle this.

Finally, I would think about the NICU and what you want to do. You may not know, but if you have a long NICU stay, do you want to be there 8 hours/day? How much travel time does this involve? Does your job allow you to go back to work and then take more leave when LO is coming home?

I was working pretty much full time when M was 5 months actual and it went fine. We had a nanny and I worked from home. It was a short term and flexible thing so I was still able to attend her appointments. If you make it to 34 weeks, you may have few issues and it could be no different than with your other children. It's hard to prepare and you sort of just have to go with it.

carrotcake06 · May 2014

I have 34weekers plus an older (FT) singleton and I work full time. I enjoy my job and my career and do not want to be a SAHM at all.

My boys had a short, uneventful NICU stay as feeders/growers. My mat leave was 15w long. My mom and sister split care of the babies while I'm at work and my oldest goes to a daycare/preschool. (We do pay my family). It has worked out really well.

At some point, the babies will start to go to a daycare/preschool. Maybe 18-24mo or when my oldest goes to K. We're crossing that bridge when we come to it.

Labyrinth3000 · May 2014

I'm taking 12 weeks off right now for my twin girls born at 32 weeks. My family will babysit until the end of the year then we'll start daycare. One of my girls had some breathing issues while taking a bottle but she grew out of it fast. Some of my family thought I should quit my job but the extra income is nice plus work is good for my mental well being. I've been home for 6 weeks so far and have found that it's not for me in the long term.

Stodre · May 2014

Thanks everyone. Right now my leave ends July 28, but I will be asking for a 2 month personal leave as well. Hopefully my employer works with me. There is no way I could put her in daycare too early. I would like to hold off until mid-Sept./Oct before putting her in daycare. If it works out she will be 2.5weeks adjusted, 4 months actual. It scares me to death that this is way too early, but I really don't have any other options. .. Unless we hire a nanny.

Stodre · May 2014

Sorry!! She would be 2.5 months adjusted, not weeks.

Brummy14 · May 2014

I ended up being off on mat leave for 7 months -- I went back to work when the girls were a little over 6m actual (3m adjusted).

We ended up hiring a nanny for 2 days/wk, and my parents watch the girls the other 3 days/wk. I would have hired a nanny FT if my parents weren't around -- I wasn't comfortable going into DC with them at that stage. I *might* be okay with DC, now -- but the girls have been so healthy and are developmentally thriving under our current arrangement, so I don't plan to mess with it.

DD2 came home on o2 (she was off by the time I went back to work), but they both were still cruddy eaters, and liked to choke on bottles. That added to my feeling that the needed a little extra bonus attention. I've also liked that we haven't had to rush to get them off of bottles the minute they turned a year old to "graduate" to the next room or whatever in DC. That, and DD2 has low muscle tone -- and hadn't even started crawling until two months ago. We're able to coordinate Help Me Grow/EI visits in our home -- most of the time I'm able to be there for them, but often I'm not, and it's nice to not have to worry about that, either (although, many of these programs will directly visit DCs, too).

Like PPs have said, I think waiting and seeing is probably your best bet. You just won't know what exactly your LO will need until he or she arrives....

Pips09 · May 2014

I was on modified bed rest for a couple of weeks, in which I was able to work from home.Once she was born, I took 12 weeks off, half of which she was in the NICU. We had an in-home daycare that was really great at keeping her separated from the other kids, as her adjusted age was 2 weeks. She was taken off her apnea monitor the day before I went back to work.We were very lucky that it worked out for us, as I didn't want to leave my job. We took it week by week. You really can't predict what will happen until the baby is here.
good luck!

JTA2426 · May 2014

I worked full time prior to the twins being born. I delivered at 34 weeks, had a 10 day NICU stay, and then I stayed home with them for 14 weeks until I basically ran out of PTO. I'm a nurse, so for the first month or so back I worked a lot of weird shifts so DH or grandparents or my aunt could watch the boys at home. We really tried to limit daycare at the beginning. By 5-6 months old, they were going to daycare 3 days a week. I carry our insurance too, and enjoy working. I was ready to go back when I did. Good luck for a longer pregnancy and I hope you find a good solution for your family!

ashleymarie512 · May 2014

I work full time as well. I had LO at 29-6 suddenly--had NO clue I'd be having a baby that day, which means work was totally not prepared for my leave.

I took four weeks off to recovery from c/s. I went back full time to save my FMLA for when she came home. Because I work a few blocks from the hospital, I worked early and was at the NICU by 3:30. I worked from her room several times too, since my employer was so supportive.

When LO came home (after 66 days), I was off full time again. I took off six weeks full time and then went back part time. I worked two days in the office, one day from home and was off two days. DH watched her the two days I was in the office.

Once my leave was up, we put her in daycare. It's an in-home and she is one of six kids. She went there at five months (2.5 adjusted) and on oxygen. Luckily, we d/c o2 the week she went to daycare. DH and I both work full time and daycare is going great!

Trillian46 · May 2014

First of all, good luck -- I hope you make it to 34 weeks, too! I'll start by agreeing with the other mom's -- preemies need extra feedings at night, so you'll have a longer newborn phase... and especially if you have an acid reflux issue (or any other issues that can cause failure to thrive). In short, I agree with the others -- you just need to wait and see what your situation is. We never planned on a nanny, but we ended up with one due to the reflux and rsv concerns... I just wasn't comfortable about the daycare's ability to stay on top of my son's medication regimen (and I had to make the call before my son was off his heart monitor). Of course, your odds of getting synagis covered by insurance (the rsv prevention medication) improve if you're in daycare.

SarahA918 · May 2014

My son was born at 29w 3d at the end of last October. I'm a teacher, so I went back two weeks later because I knew I could work a short week before thanksgiving and then there were only three weeks before Christmas vacation and they hoped he'd be home by Christmas. My work said I could take my maternity leave when he came home. Well, he didn't come home so in February I started going part time, using FMLA, not the maternity kind but the caring for a sick relative kind. I did that until the middle of April when he finally came home and now I'm taking the rest of the school year off.

Trillian46 · June 2014

I took 6 months off, so my son was 4 months adjusted. We then used a nanny for the first year... my son required refrigerated medicine for his reflux and low gastric motility issues and was on a heart monitor until shortly before I went back to work, so it just gave me a greater sense of comfort... if he'd had fewer issues, we might have handled it differently. My husband didn't take as long a paternity, so he handled doctor's visits for the first two months or so after I returned to work. We're now in daycare, and my son loves it. The biggest stressor is that his lack of contact with the general world his first year has left him sick pretty much every other week... which has led to lots of time off from work, ear tubes, etc.

If you're doing daycare, look into if your insurance will cover synagis -- you'll be starting at about the right time of year for the shots.

gault530 · June 2014

I had a 4 y/o DD when the twins were born at 26 weeks. I had an emergency c-section and took two weeks off after leaving the hospital to recover, then I started back at work. I worked until the twins were released from the NICU as I didn't want to use all of my maternity leave up while they were in the NICU. I would take DD1 to preschool in the morning, go to work, then go to the hospital after work and get home for bedtime with DD1.

It's hard, but you make it work. Hopefully, your DC's stay will be short and you'll be able to spend most of the time on your leave at home with her. Good luck!

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