Visitors and Helpers

temursgirl · May 2014

lest12 said:

Celesteloveschris said:

xxx

I'm super mortified. I accidentally signed on under my old email address (Pregnancy brain, I couldn't remember which email my membership was under).
I totally forgot that I had two 'bump' accounts, and this other one was my old email account. From when I signed up like, 7 years ago. From when I was engaged and pregnant to my boyfriend Chris at the time. Oops.
Seeing that screen name was the weirdest thing ever.

Pregnancy brain has made me really slow... I was thinking, "wow, there's a second Celeste doing a drive by? And it's such an unusual name?"

)

Pepper6 · May 2014

I'm very lucky that so far all of our family seems to be deferring to my wishes and asking permission, so hopefully it should be fairly low stress. We'll call our parents when we head to the hospital, but it kind of depends on the day and time as to whether they'll come up for most of the labor. Regardless, it'll still just be DH while I'm actually delivering.

I've had people ask if they can visit in the hospital the next day, which I'm unsure of. I just told them it depends on how I feel and we'll text people if and when we're up for visitors.

Of course...the plan of how things should go and how they'll actually go are seldom the same, so I'm keeping my expectations low...

chloephoebecali · May 2014

Hospital: I don't care who visits assuming I feel decent and they know when it's time to leave. Family and my bffs/husbands tend to come by and it's nice. My nieces can come, too. Eta, our church's priest will probably come by and offer up a blessing. I'm excited about this. He is a great guy.

Home: I'm not a big fan but know that this aunt and that want to meet baby/give gift. Otherwise, our parents/sibling should expect that I am not entertaining or feeding you if I'm not up to it. I don't need you to come around and hold baby all day. You can come around and play with my older two and give them the attention they are lacking and feel free to do whatever chore you see needs done.

All that being said, I never had help with my other two. I didn't need or want it. I'm hoping for help this time around, but I'm not sure how that is going to pan out -whether or not it will be truly helpful.

efino87 · May 2014

@lest12 This situation has been my biggest fear my entire pregnancy. I know I have mentioned this before but if anyone missed it ..... My DH comes from a very large, loud family and they all live very close by. My parents and my sister also live close by and they will be staying at my house to watch my DD when labor begins. Ideally once baby is born or close to being born I would like my parents, sister, DD, then MIL, FIL, BIL and SIL to be able to come up to the hospital to visit once I have had a chance to nurse and recover. The reality? My MIL will group message her ENTIRE extended family the moment she finds out I am in labor and invite them all to the hospital to wait outside the room until baby is born. Last time I had less then 20 minutes of recovery time before his grandparents, aunts, uncles, siblings, ect all filled the room. I hadn't even had time to clean myself off and was mortified. They also like to bagger the nurses/doctors about everything that is going on because they think they are healthcare experts.
Even if I ask them not to come, they will do it anyway because its somehow their "right". Not telling them when I go into the hospital will also cause a nasty fight. I honestly pray I go into labor in the middle of the night.
As far as visitors at home, it won't matter. Everyone lives super close by so they will stop by with or without an invite. I'm hoping DH will be able to take a week off to help run the show.
We aren't hiring any help, I am the hired help. Thankfully my mom and sister will be available as long as baby just keeps cooking until June.
Sorry this turned into a long rant. I am really nervous about this and with the possibility of NICU time, I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

tnd1218 · May 2014

snowpants said:

We plan to have family visit at the hospital but not until we call them and say we are ready (after some bonding time for just us and baby). This should work out just fine for everyone except we'll have to keep an eye on MIL. She lied her way past a nurse last time and tried to get into our birth room before they had even finished cleaning us up. She claimed that DH needed a sandwich and had asked her to bring it to him, lol. Thank God she has a really loud mouth and we heard her coming. DH physically stopped her at the door and made her leave. So yeah, we're keeping an eye on her this time.
Family and friends are also welcome to visit us at home as long as they call ahead of time. We won't do anything formal. My mom will come to stay for a few days when we want her to as well.

This! With DS FIL walked in with the camera when I was wide open getting stitched up! I was not a happy camper! I told DH that no one is allowed into the room until I am fully covered and give the go ahead. They were asked to leave the room when I started pushing but apparently made their way back into the room before they were told to. So nurses will be told to escort them to the lobby till I say ok. This is our last LO and I want my other two LO's to have bonding time before the chaos of all the visitors.

DH will be home on FMLA for the summer so I wont really need help. IF I were to need help my mom and sister live about 4 miles from us.

katekat8721 · May 2014

@efino87 this is causing you major stress girlie. What does your hubby do about this? can he step up to the plate more and help make sure your family does not come into your post partum room until you're ready? Or can the nurses do that? This stresses me out just reading about it. I'm so sorry

anations · May 2014

@efino87‌, I was told by nurses at our hospital that we can tell them our wishes (eg not wanting visitors for a few hours) and they will just say no visitors allowed. That will take the weight off you. My sister did this and to this day, my parents think it was just hospital policy. The nurses seem like they will be on our side. Hope that helps and it works! For me too:)

temursgirl · May 2014

anations said:

@efino87‌, I was told by nurses at our hospital that we can tell them our wishes (eg not wanting visitors for a few hours) and they will just say no visitors allowed. That will take the weight off you. My sister did this and to this day, my parents think it was just hospital policy. The nurses seem like they will be on our side. Hope that helps and it works! For me too:)

My hospital also does this. In the paperwork I filled out when I registered, there was a place to put who is and isn't allowed in, and they will enforce that. I'm not too worried about this myself because my ILs aren't here and my family isn't like that, but I filled it out anyway. DH has some weird and inappropriate friends, and just in case he has time for a FB post I don't want them dropping in. Also, in my hospital L&D is secure, so you can't just walk in. Is this not the case everywhere?

tnd1218 · May 2014

@efino87‌ exactly what pp said. My nurses told me they will say and do whatever makes me comfortable. I was nice with DS, this time I will tell them I don't want anyone in the room till I say. They told me this when DH was out of the room and let me know they will enforce whatever makes me most comfortable. I would talk to your DH and let him know if he doesn't tell them the nursing staff will.

efino87 · May 2014

Thank you for the kind words and encouragement ladies! I will talk to my dr. Again this week but from what I understood, once baby was born they dont really restrict anyone. You just say who you are there to visit and go in, they don't Id people or anything. DH tries to be helpful and supportive but they don't listen to him either. Honestly I need to take a big breath and get over it. I will get to have my baby and they wont be there for long.

Edit because spell check has had one too many margaritas today. My goodness.

MrsAMB07 · May 2014

I don't really care who's in the waiting room, because it's the last thing on my mind during the whole process, really. If they want to wait, that's up to them. Our families were both out there the first time, and didn't quite make it in time for the birth the second time, but were there to meet her right away. I know it's a big thing for the whole family, so I completely understand that, and am honored that they're so excited. They were very respectful in that they came in to see the babies quickly, the grandmothers held them, and then they left and came back over the rest of the hospital stay for short visits.

This time I'll be sure to make it clear to everyone that we'll be taking our time with her to bond and get to know her before we let anyone come in, though. I heard afterwards that our families got impatient with the lack of updates and having to wait... and that things got a little tense between the two sides. So this time we'll make it clear that they're welcome to wait if they want to, but after we let them know she's here and how we're doing, we're going to let our kids come in to meet her and shut our phones off until we've had some times as a family and to establish her first time nursing. (Last time the texts from the waiting room got super annoying and we felt pressure to rush and let them in.)

sjn00 · May 2014

I don't know.. This is my first round so I am not really expecting anything lol. Hubby and I will be the only ones in the delivery room though 10000% and then we are going to bond with the baby for a few hours on our own before we allow anyone to come.. I am thinking the first day just let it be us. then the 2nd day have visitors... not sure what hubbys take on that is though.. he will probably want a couple hours to ourselves and then have visitors... his parent will probably be POed oh well.

ddd2 · May 2014

I had a ton of visitors last time. But I remember being jealous of everyone getting to come and go and eat! I am expecting less people this time but feel pressure to share my scheduled CS date so hubby's nan can fly in for the birth.. Why.. She's not going to hold my hand through it. And if you are going to only spend a few days than wouldn't you want to come after we leave the hospital? I guess I just feel like an outsider knowing they will all be going home to celebrate while I'm locked down to a bed.

becomingmommyagain · May 2014

At the hospital will be just DH and I. My two teenagers will come up after LO has arrived and everything is calmed down. My mom desperately wants to be here, but fortunately for us she's a 14 hour drive away. Hopefully we can keep her away until we've got LO home and have had some time just to our family.

My sister lives 10 minutes away, but I'd like to keep her at bay as long as possible. She has 3 little ones at home that are constantly passing some kind of "gross" back and forth. She keeps saying she cant wait to see how her 2 year old is with the baby and I keep telling her that her 2 year old WONT be with the baby until he's had his first round of shots and even then it will only be if they are not sniffling, sneezing, coughing, etc....which one of them always has something.

As far as hired help, DH will be taking 2 weeks off when LO arrives, and my two teenagers will be out of school soon and will be able to help more with the house. My mom keeps threatening to stay for a week or two, and then my MIL comes from France for 6 weeks. I'm glad we'll have help, but I'm also annoyed that there will be so much intrusion on our first weeks with LO home.

rastrau · May 2014

There's no stopping my mother, so she'll probably be in and out while we're in the hospital. Little sis is a massage therapist and will be helping me out while I'm in labor too (and she'll be taking care of our animals) - but everyone except DH is exiled when it gets down to business. I don't want an audience.

The ILs live about 3 hours away and won't come up until a weekend - and then only once given the okay.

I expect that other family members and friends will stop by while we're in the hospital, which is fine with me because no one ever stays long when visiting a hospital room. Visitors at home are fine with us as long as they call first. We have no intention of hiring anyone to help, but there's enough family around who would pitch in if needed and DH is taking the first week off. I am having the house professionally cleaned a week before my EDD, which I'm really excited for!

eta: I am so sorry that so many J14'ers have so much IL stress! But I'll second getting the nurses on your side - I was told they will restrict anyone and everyone until I say otherwise.

RaeJ004 · May 2014

Temurlang1 said:

My hospital also does this. In the paperwork I filled out when I registered, there was a place to put who is and isn't allowed in, and they will enforce that. I'm not too worried about this myself because my ILs aren't here and my family isn't like that, but I filled it out anyway. DH has some weird and inappropriate friends, and just in case he has time for a FB post I don't want them dropping in. Also, in my hospital L&D is secure, so you can't just walk in. Is this not the case everywhere?

This. Some of you are saying they heard it from the hallway, or stood outside your room? This is crazy to me!! In both the hospital I delivered DD at and the one I'll be delivering this one at, every visitor needs to be recorded and buzzed into the L&D wing. People can't just roam the hallways. Also, the hospital we're delivering this one at has a one hour family time policy. After delivery no visitors are allowed for one hour. No parents, no inlaws, no nothing (except other children if you want them in there).

temursgirl · May 2014

LoHerrim said:

I'm mobile and I keep reading this thread title as "Velociraptors".

If only velociraptors were coming to stay and help me out instead!

Katieluc106 · May 2014

Only people allowed in delivery room are DH and my mom (my mom was way more comforting than DH last time lol)

After this babes has popped out mom will go get DD right away. She will be at my grandmothers house, so of course my grandmother will HAVE to come. When DD gets there everyone is getting kicked out as I want Just my children and hubbs in the room when DDs meet for the first time ( we just felt as though it was a special moment we wanted to share privately)
After that my dad is allowed to visit. Then no one else. Everyone can come when I go home. I remember with DD1 my room being a revolving door between visitors nurses drs ect that I barely even was able to hold my child.

DHs parents live an hour away and father in law is terrified of hospitals ( he didn't even come when DD1 was born) so they had already planned on heading down when I got home.

My mom is planning a big BBQ at my house the weekend after I have the baby so my cousins aunts and uncles can all come to meet Vivian. I'm very excited about that because I don't have to lift a single finger

flerlgirl · May 2014

For the hospital, just our immediate families and a couple of close friends. When DS was born we had a stream of visitors and it was just too exhausting and stressful.

When we get home, we will have my parents there (we live with them) and my MIL will be visiting a few weeks after the baby is born. Otherwise, no extra help or visitors. I'm sure a few people will stop by but for the first few weeks we're going to try to keep it to a minimum. It just gets too tiring.

kbellizio3 · May 2014

This makes me super anxious. Mostly because I don't know what my in-laws plans are. My mom has already said that she doesn't want to drive 1.5 hours until the baby is born and we've had time to settle down at the hospital, but honestly if my parents come earlier (my dad could potentially be here when I go into labor because he works on the house), I won't care because I know they won't intrude.

I have no idea of what my FIL and sMIL have planned. I should probably have DH say something about it. I don't want them there the entire time I'm in labor. But they probably won't be either. They also live 1.5 hours away so it won't be terrible for them to come after she's born.

My MIL and sFIL live across the country, so I think she's planning on coming out sometime over the summer for a little bit, which will be great because I know she'll spoil me rotten by helping out in the house, but they'll totally stay in a hotel without us asking because they're super courteous.

I also don't plan on posting a play by play on Facebook ( a lot of my friends have done this it's annoying) and texting people as I see fit if I'm up to more visitors in the hospital or waiting until I get home. I'm only concerned about one person not taking a hint and overstaying her welcome, but she's pretty manageable.

I feel bad for you ladies who have big in law problems!!

kittenslove · May 2014

Let me start by saying, we have a special circumstance, so this isn't what we would be doing in an "ideal" situation.

DH will be in OR with me for delivery. We will get to see the baby for a few minutes after he is stable, on his way out. No touching (which will be SO HARD, but it is what's best)

Immediate family (my parents, his parents, my sister and his sister, no children) will be in waiting room. Family will get to see baby as he is wheeled by on his way to NICU.

No one gets to touch the baby, or visit with him, for at least 8 hours (except myself and my husband, who can go to visit him in NICU about 3 hours after birth, depending on how things go with stabilizing and dressing his tumor.)

Family can visit with me after I am comfortable in my room (estimated about an hour after surgery by doctors). Little ones surgery is planned for about 2 days after birth. At this time, we are saying anyone can visit him in the NICU after the surgery, as long as they call and talk to us about it first. Only two people can be at his side at a time, which means DH and I would have to leave to let others come. We are thinking only immediate family will come, but my godmother might come by, and my dads sister works right around the corner, so we suspect she might stop in.

DH will be working throughout all of it, except the day of the csection, the day of the babys surgery, and the day after the babys surgery.

I plan to stay at the hospital the babys entire stay at this point. We are working out logistics (IE - I will not be able to drive myself for showers, so does DH pick me up after work, shower, then come back for shift changes? Time will well). This is very up in the air and depends on how he does/how long he is in. It will also depend on how my husband and I cope - can we spend time apart? Will he be able to work? These are questions we really won't be able to answer until the situation is upon us.

My mom is planning to take at least the first week the baby is home to help me. She lives less than 10 minutes away. She can also work from home after that, depending on my needs (at that point it will be 3 weeks pp, so not sure how much help I will need). DH is planning to take one to two weeks - again, undecided at this point- at the end of July/early August. This is supposed to be our family time: baby will be healing, I will be healing, we may be able to do things besides doctors appointments. Maybe even a long weekend to the mountain house will be in order.

At some point in August we will be doing a sip and see. My house is just too small to host many visitors, my mom is one of seven, his dad is one of eight. We are not planning a baptism/christening, so this will take its place (no gifts, just come to a bbq we are hosting and meet the baby). We are doing it at a public park (with permit) and we plan to invite both families, and friends, so about 120+ people.

Shineoncrazy · May 2014

My MIL has dropped multiple hints that she would like to be in the delivery room when I’m pushing. That got a resounding HELL NO from both of us. She brought it up again saying, “well I can take pictures;” yeah. That’s what I want. My MIL telling me to smile while I’m sweaty and panting and trying to push out a watermelon. I’m convinced she will try to find a way, and I will have a fit if I look over and see her. I need to warn the nurses.

My Mom will be in there with my husband if I have to get a c-section. We have a ton of family in our area, so we’re expecting quite a few visitors once she’s here. That doesn’t really bother me.

No plans for a sip and see. My Mom lives about 20 minutes away, so she will help me initially. We’re interviewing nannies for when I got back to school in the fall.

I figure, as with all best laid plans, some of this will have to be rethought!

Glad to hear I'm not the only one with crazy ILs

kendraj426 · May 2014

We plan to only have immediate family visit at the hospital after birth. DH's parents, my parents and my sister. Only DH and I will be there while I'm in L&D. After we get home, I expect both families to visit, and friends will be allowed if they call ahead and schedule a time to visit. As far as help after we get home, DH is going to be home for 2 weeks, then every other day for the next 2 weeks. I'm hoping after that I'll be able to handle things on my own, but my sister lives 5 mins from me and my in laws are only a half hour away, and both have offered help if needed. I expect my parents to come visit frequently in the first few days to help out as well. Unfortunately, they live an hour and a half away, so we'll see how that works out.

We aren't doing a sip and see, but my MIL has planned a 4th of July party that she expects to be LO's 'Coming Out Party' as she puts it. I'm due June 14th. Is that too early to bring her to a party? I realize I could go earlier or later, so she could be anywhere from a month old to just a week or 2. Should we just tell MIL now that we won't be there, or wait and see? Am I going to be too tired? Is it too early to have her around a bunch of people with germs? Am I just being overprotective and paranoid?

Read247 · May 2014

No one is invited to be at the hospital except my sister. She is watching DS and our dogs while I have my csection. I have about 50 family members in town and if I invite one, I have to invite them all. It was WAY too stressful the first time around.

I won't allow any visitors at home for the first week, maybe two. Once my sister leaves and DH goes back to work they can come over to help, but not to just socialize and hold the baby. I have a 3 year old and won't be able to drive. If they're not gonna be useful they can stay away and let me rest and recover.

puttyeast · May 2014

My mom lives out of state but will be in the area starting in mid-June, so it is likely that she will be around when he is born (EDD is June 24). She will not be in the delivery room (DF and I only), but she wants to hang out at the hospital. My future in-laws live in town and said they would also like to hang out at the hospital. I was very clear that I don't want anyone but DF in the room and that even after he is born, we will need more time for skin-to-skin and bonding, so they could be sitting around for awhile.

My dad will be joining us from out of state at the end of June and my parents will be around for a week into July. Luckily, they are not staying with us (we don't have enough room) and I've said the help I would like would be for food and cleaning. We'll see how things turn out. So much depends on when this baby boy decides to arrive!

kittenslove · May 2014

kendraj426

FTM here, so take with a grain of salt

My niece was born May 30, my SIL came to the 4th of July BBQ for about half the day. She bottle fed, and the baby had two bottles. She left just before the baby would have taken her third (she lives 5 minutes). The party was small, maybe 25 people, but she was exhausted and only came because she is a single mom and really wanted adult company.

My nephew was born June 21. My sister came to the 4th of July BBQ and stayed all day. She breastfed, and napped with the baby after one of the feedings for about a half an hour (it may have been longer, we don't remember). She said she felt up to it, but was super comfortable since the party was at her childhood home, and it was small (20 people total, but we never really had more than 10 - 15 at a time since my uncle's family came early and my parents friends family came closer to dinner time).

I would think it really depends on how you feel after delivery. My sister was showering and dressing and running errands less than a week after birth. My SIL took about two months to get back into a routine (neither csection, which may also play a factor in recovery). I might not say anything yet about it (especially if you WANT to go, just truly not sure if you'll be up to it), but closer to go time I might say something like "with the way I am feeling now, I don't know if I will be up to a party so soon". Give her hints of how you are feeling and let her know being a no show is a possibility. If you don't want to go, be honest with her. "I just don't want to commit to a party so soon after birth. I want time to recover. Thank you but no thank you".

coffee89 · May 2014

My MIL recently mentioned she doesn't see the point in her coming to the hospital, which is more than okay with me. My parents will make the journey down (its just over a two hour drive if you manage to not hit any traffic) when I tell them I'm being admitted. They know that I have no problem telling them to go away and they expect to either hang out at our place or get a hotel room and not be in the waiting room. They will come to visit LO in the hospital when I say it is okay, and no sooner. My sister will probably be around with my parents, depending on when she has a sitter and if she is at work at the time.

My parents may stick around to see us come home, but probably not. If they do it will be to load up their car with things to take to our new place since we will be working on moving out around this time.

No friends and no visitors at home unless I say so. My MIL doesn't drive so she won't just be dropping by,but I'm pretty sure she expects us to either go see her within the first week or for DH to pick her up and drop her off at the metro. Both of them are a no in my book. I'm not going to be entertaining her, worrying about if my house in clean, bonding with my new family and healing all at the same time. If I thought she would do something other than sit in my living room and bother me, I'd be fine with her coming over. BIL will be dealing with a move (while SIL and their kids are overseas) around that time as well and I'm pretty sure that takes priority in MIL's world. My other BIL does not even talk to us so it is possible that they don't meet our child for a year.

Our friends are much more understanding as they have all dealt with this before so they are totally cool waiting until we have things together to meet our LO.

SarahS11 · May 2014

I don't understand why MILs seem to feel entitled to all of this baby stuff! My mom completely understands that we want NO ONE waiting at the hospital while I am in L&D... My MIL told me how I was taking away this family event from their family. Yes, because seeing all of my business and stressing me out is YOUR family event! Ugh!

We are having no one waiting for baby, no one but DH in the room with me, and our hospital really tries to push for the new family (DH, me, and baby) to have 3 hours of time to ourselves before visitors... so we are using that to our advantage/excuse before we take visitors. My ILs live 5 hours away, and I know they are expecting to crash at our place while we are still at the hospital and beyond, and it is just not going to happen... I have told DH about 40 times to tell them this so they are prepared for me to crush more of their family event dreams... but I don't think he has gotten around to it yet. Could be interesting!

kendraj426 · May 2014

@SarahS11 - I don't get it either! When I told DH that if I had any parent in L&D with me it would be my mom, not his, he didn't get it. I explained it like this 'How would you feel if my dad was there watching you get a rectal exam? My mom has seen all of me and has known me my entire life. I would feel comfortable having her there. I don't like when your mom comes over and I haven't cleaned the bathroom, forget allowing her to see me give birth!' He understood a little bit better then.

I think many MILs (especially if they only have sons, like mine) feel deprived of the experience because it's not their kid having the baby. Unfortunately, it seems many MILs can't see past their disappointment to put themselves in our shoes and try to understand what we are going through. It totally sucks.

FutureMrsW9 · May 2014

I haven't really set rules about who can come to the hospital, but immediate family will no doubt be there. As much as I'm trying to discourage it, my family also wants to be there while I'm in labor, no matter how much I tell them that even after baby is here we're still going to need an hour or so of bonding time before I want anyone in the room. So we'll see what they decide when the time comes. Either way, they're not coming into the room until we're done with the first breastfeeding and whatnot. I'll also send a quick note to a few of our close friends letting them know that they're more than welcome to visit, just so they don't need to feel awkward about asking if they want to. And if they choose not to come, that's OK too. As for others, that's going to be a crap shoot. Since you're really not in the hospital long, I don't anticipate many people coming, but time will tell. I think more people will likely want to come to our house once we're home with baby than to the hospital.

I haven't even considered a sip and see, and I don't think I'd feel comfortable with it. All those potentially icky people around a non-vaccinated baby....no. We took an infant care class this weekend, and part of it a pediatrician came in and made a comment to a Jewish couple who will be having a bris for their baby boy that once the ceremony is over have grandma take the baby and hide for the rest of the time as baby should not be passed around, etc. at that point....so similar concept and I agree.

We won't be hiring help, at least not right away. I'm planning to stay home the full amount of time I'm allowed in NJ, which is 18 weeks after baby is born (or 20 weeks if we end up with a c-section). At that point, we have family who will be coming to help take care of baby. We still need to iron out final details on who will be coming what days, but we have time. Once baby is a little older and needs some peer interaction, I'll probably do daycare a few days a week or something like that.

MrsBHM · May 2014

Both sets of our parents live about 10-12 hour drive away from us. I'll be induced at 39 weeks so if I go that far we plan on inviting both parents to come up. The only people in the labor room will be my Husband and my Mom. First of all you never know when your nurse is gonna come in and need to turn you quickly or check you quickly and won't have time to usher 12 people out of the room because it's an emergency. Even in the very early stages of labor or if you are being induced, at the beginning before anything ever gets started. I worked in L&D for years and it was beyond frustrating to have an emergency situation & need to be flip flopping my patient back and forth and checking her and the dang father in law won't get out of the room...after all he was just there to say hi because he's been waiting in the waiting room for soooooo long. Yes, the nurses try to perserve your modesty, but healthy baby is the priority and if that means showing off your hooha to everyone in the room, then so be it. Secondly, I can't tell you how many times women get comfy with their epidural and settle in and let out the biggest fart ever. No thanks. Not doing that in front of anyone but my Mom and my husband. Lol. For those reasons the inlaws and my dad are welcome to wait in the waiting room all. freaking. day. That's their choice, but I will not feel rushed or feel bad for them and invite them into the labor room until my Husband and I have had time with our LO for bonding, breastfeeding, etc. At home, I want my parents to stay with us & in a perfect world, my inlaws to stay in a hotel. We've had some issues in the past & my MIL just grates on my nerves. Also, I know I won't be comfortable after delivery with my inlaws in the house. But I can't think of a way that they would ever be okay with having to stay in a hotel and my parents stay at our house without starting World War 3, so I guess I'll just bite my tongue & shut myself in another room when they start to bug me. My husband has pulled the "first grandchild" card and since he's an only child he's used the "the only grandchildren they'll ever have will come from us". I had a heart to heart with my husband that if the inlaws stay here he is going to have to be SUPER attentive to my needs & what's annoying me. And part of that may be correcting his parents' behavior & telling them to get out (temporarily or permanently) and if he's not capable of doing that then they aren't gonna be invited. Because I will be capable of it, and probably not in a nice way. Plus a max three day stay for everyone (except my mom) is in place. I sound like a drill sergeant.

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