Name Sensitivity

archi35 · May 2014

AmandaJean12 said:

I think the fact he even be referred to it as "your" name gives you the trump card. And I would say that to him if you find out you're having a girl. I wouldn't fight about it, I would just say "we're going forward with the name you all knew we intended to use for a girl." Then again I totally have no problem being confrontational... I get the family harmony piece makes it hard. But I'd stick up for myself if I were you.

This and this. Haha - I would stick with it and screw them. They are the ones who will ultamitely have to explain their shitty position on it all if anyone ever asks why both kids have the same name.

MrsL2B · May 2014

I'd be irate. I'm sorry your brother is a jerk.

Eastie156 · May 2014

Sorry, but that's pretty shitty and I'd probably let my brother know it if it was me. I'd also go forward with the name I'd picked and I'd let my brother know it. Seriously again, that's just crappy. Why would he do that?

ss265 · May 2014

Just wanted to add that I agree with PP that your brother sounds like a jerk. My brother accidentally used my top pick for a girl's name for one of his twins but he didn't even know I liked the name so I couldn't be mad about it. It's not even a common name so I guess we just have similar tastes.

I would let your brother know that you intend to use the name anyway if you have a girl. Hopefully that changes his mind on him using it.

archi35 · May 2014

ss265 said:

My brother accidentally used my top pick for a girl's name for one of his twins but he didn't even know I liked the name so I couldn't be mad about it. It's not even a common name so I guess we just have similar tastes.

OT: @ss265 what was the name?

live4thegiraffe · May 2014

That's a jerk move on both their parts. I would wait til you find out what you're having (or hell, do it now) and just shoot them both a message saying that if you have a girl, you're using your name and you don't care what they do. Chances are SIL will want to choose a different name so her daughter won't have the same name as yours.

Also, if your brother and your mom know that this was your favorite name ever, chances are other family members know as well and are, like you, giving them a major side-eye for their decision.

ss265 · May 2014

archi35 said:

ss265 said:

My brother accidentally used my top pick for a girl's name for one of his twins but he didn't even know I liked the name so I couldn't be mad about it. It's not even a common name so I guess we just have similar tastes.

OT: @ss265 what was the name?

It was Ariana.

I decided right after we got married that I loved the name (SIL was expecting the twins at the time) because it was the name of the reverend who married us and it's also a character in Harry Potter (I am obsessed with HP).

archi35 · May 2014

^^ Aw that's a pretty name - sucks they used it though. A close friend of my husband's family named their little girl Madeline which I'd always wanted to do b/c of the books. Of course we'd only just gotten married and there was no plan for a baby so what can you do? Name's off the table now.

Mmylsa · May 2014

I agree with PP- use it anyway. If they've just found out the sex then they have months to pick a different name. Just be vocal about the fact that you're using it anyway and then I'd keep your chosen nickname to yourself.

ss265 · May 2014

archi35 said:

^^ Aw that's a pretty name - sucks they used it though. A close friend of my husband's family named their little girl Madeline which I'd always wanted to do b/c of the books. Of course we'd only just gotten married and there was no plan for a baby so what can you do? Name's off the table now.

@archie35, Yup, my Mom hadn't heard of it and was surprised that both my brother and I liked it. But it looks like I am destined to never have a girl (we are expecting a second boy and are likely done after this LO). If it helps I think Madeline is getting super popular now. I know three people who named their daughters Madeline recently.

archi35 · May 2014

@ss265 yeah the funny thing is now DH and I both want boys so I'm not overly thinking about girl names (that said - it will probs be a girl right?? ) And yeah, since there are so many Maddie's out there now its probably for the best!

ETA: Post-hijack done y'all

ariel06 · May 2014

Maybe their elective u/s is wrong?

Are they due before you or after?

bumpuser10309732 · May 2014

I would be SO MAD! I have all brothers and I can tell you if I had told one of them that it's the name I've wanted to use forever that they would change their baby's name. A sibling shouldn't step on you like that!

PBJellyTime · May 2014

OOOh! I would be FURIOUS! This happened to my mom and dad, so after that they never told anyone the names they had picked out. And that's why when people ask me they are told our child will be named Chabambu Lanuknuk Abasuqie Anderson. Steal that! ) SO sorry to hear this, I would duke it out for that name if need be! FX for you!

MuffinMom14 · May 2014

I had my heart set on a certain name. And my brother-in-law married a woman that. Well. She's difficult, and it was a rush-rush wedding for no real reason other than "taxes." So, if this is a girl, I won't be able to use the name, even if they DO split up later.

I'm bitter about it, because no other name does it for me. I am hoping for a boy just for that reason now.

MrsSinner402 · May 2014

Absolute bullshit. Are you due before her? If so, and you have your baby girl first, you name that baby girl Elizabeth. Or I will TP you myself.

IrishHoney123 · May 2014

JessAnnJ said:

Are they also using your middle name choice?

I don't know!

I'm starting to think more clearly, and as some of you have pointed out there are MANY nicknames for Elizabeth. I love Ellie or Liz...so not the end of the world if we do use the same name.

I'm considering calling brother and SIL to let them know I don't feel comfortable with them using this name, but then I tell myself they know what they're doing. Plus I'm not very confrontational.

Staciefacie · May 2014

I have been in a situation sort of similar.
My BIL and his wife aren't even trying for kids and we told them that we wanted to use the name Eugene. It's DH's grandpas name which also happens to be BILs middle name. BIL insisted that even if we name our kid Eugene he was going to also. I was pissed bad so DH and I said screw it and decided on a different name.

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