So DH's job/classes finally settled down and now he's back to the Mon-Fri 9-5 schedule. Before that he used to go to the gym every Tues & Thurs straight from work and get home at 8:15... Factor in shower time and he's not really available til 830. He also would go Sat 8a to noon. Plus, he's a jogger and usually goes for an hour run 4 days a week (then add stretch/shower time... So really like 1.5 hours.
He wants to go back to this exact routine. In his mind out lives and routine shouldn't change just because we have a baby... He also said that he'd be more than willing to take care of DS on other days do that I can get out of the house and be social etc...
I'm not in favor of this and it resulted in a huge argument. For one thing, I do all MOTN feeds. So, kinda sorta, I feel like a single mom from bedtime Monday night up until he gets home from the gym Tuesday night.... So nearly 24hrs. Same for Thurs. Plus factor in the Saturday time and the sporadic hour jogs.
He's seriously the most well rested and uninterrupted first time dad in the history of mankind.
I don't like the idea if trading off on free time. I'm trying to reduce the "single parent" time (Mon-Fri 9-5 makes sense... Beyond that makes less sense). I'm not dying to get out and be social... I'm just stressed at all the time I care for DS alone... And having time to leave him with DH does not solve the alone time problem.
He just keeps reiterating that just because we have a child doesn't mean our lifestyle has to change (i.e. He should be able to maintain his original gym routine).
I feel bad asking him to ease up on the gym...
Am I being unreasonable? I find myself talking in circles and not knowing if I'm just being a bitchy wife or not.... Ugh
ETA: the reason for the gym schedule is that he boxes... So it's specific training times w his coach that can't be changed.
@Somerisles - you are NOT being unreasonable - he is!! Of COURSE life is going to change with a baby - IMO, he is naive and selfish to think that he doesn't have to change anything, especially if you need the help.
The gym sessions need to be shortened. Period. Why does he get the mental break and not you? And the jogs need to be cut in half. Here's the thing - once you're out of the newborn/infant phase and your Lo STTN consistently and there a chance for BOTH of you to have some downtime, then the two of you can look to increase his time working out. But it is completely unreasonable of him to expect you to take all that additional time alone.
RIP Dr. Irving Fishman - 10/1/19-7/25/10 - thank you for holding on for me. You made my wedding day complete.
@SomersIsles So he wants 20-ish hours a week of free time? Will his lifestyle not change when he then 100% covers baby time for an additional 20 hours a week?
It is ridiculous and selfish to think his life won't change after baby. H and I talked a lot about it before baby. He was afraid our active lives would be over. We finally came to the agreement that it wouldn't be over - just different. And that we should want it to be different. So now we trade our time for out personal stuff. And we trade out old personal stuff for together family time. It's kinda the whole point of transitioning from a couple to a family with children.
@SomersIsles at least maybe have him take LO on his jogs? Get him a jogging stroller for Father's Day...or for Mothers Day since it could free up some alone time for you.
DH gets a gold star. We both got in at 1am, bed at 1:30ish. He let me get some extra sleep this morning and kept an eye on James while Ethan and I slept (I passed out nursing)
He didnt have to since we agreed both of us would take baby duty, but he did.
@FarmBoysWife yay for gold stars! I'd like to give one to my DH today too. Before I got up, he had taken all the boxes and trash down from the kitchen and done the dishes. Woop woop!
My best friend and her sister both posted photos of their little boys outside butt naked (just showed their bums) yesterday. They got reported and fb removed the pictures.
Married 11/23/11, TTC starting 10/12, BFP#1 11/30/12, Adoption of stepson finalized 03/19/13,Loss of our daughter at 20w4d due to incompetent cervix 03/27/13, BFP#2 06/28/13, DS2 born 3/1/14.
Nooooooooooooooooo!! This is a persistent fear of mine. I'm always double checking to make sure we have them!
Andplusalso hey everyone! It's been a bit overwhelming over here. Nothing too specific, just fussier than usual twins and a 3 year old getting used to new routines. So I've been a bit absent lately. Hoping things settle down and I can visit a bit more often!
I joined the FB group... It's weird... It's like when you see radio people in person and they're not how you pictured them. Y'all are not how I pictured you! not gonna lie, I like thebump better
I was texting DH while he's pooping. He told me to let him shit in peace. Really? Since every time I try to poop he yells for me because the baby is hungry. Smh lol
Is there a nine or ten week growth spurt? Is it to early for teething? Something is going on with mia. Her eating/sleeping patterns are all jacked up...super clingy. But no fever.
Is there a nine or ten week growth spurt? Is it to early for teething? Something is going on with mia. Her eating/sleeping patterns are all jacked up...super clingy. But no fever.
This is my baby today too! She's been fussy all day and is only content when on me. She has also only napped a couple hours since 6am, I'm really hoping she still sleeps tonight!
I was texting DH while he's pooping. He told me to let him shit in peace. Really? Since every time I try to poop he yells for me because the baby is hungry. Smh lol
Did you text him that? I would!
-------------------------------------------------- Yes! I said "but the baby is hungry"
It went way over his head because he said "well feed him and leave me alone" and even after I told him I was just being an ass he was like "so did you feed him?" I may need to get DH tested lol
Ugh. H just noticed a wet spot in the ceiling of the den which is right below the guest bath. No visible leaks.
But now H is up there draining the toilet to look around. Um, what do you think you're going to do? It's not like he's going to find something and fix it. This is going to be interesting. And hopefully not too expensive.
My confession: he wanted me to come look. I was napping in the couch with the baby. So I said no thanks, I'm good.
I'm not moving a sleeping baby (who normally refuses to sleep this long during the day) for something I can't possibly do anything about.
Aaaaahhhhhh MH's plumber uncle got a wicked migraine and went home after giving us the news that even after installing the new water heater we'll still need the propane company to come back and upsize the tank.
So 1.) No new water heater and 2.) Even after it's installed.....still there will be no hot water.
At least he gave MH the tips he needed to install it correctly and to code, and checked all the other work MH has done to make sure it was up to code (it is!) but.....did I mention we have no hot water? And haven't for going on a month?
Is there a nine or ten week growth spurt? Is it to early for teething? Something is going on with mia. Her eating/sleeping patterns are all jacked up...super clingy. But no fever.
I'm going through the same thing. She'll be 10 weeks Tuesday.
I'm convinced every week is a growth spurt for Brooklyn.
We've been heating water on the stove and either sponge bathing or mixing up warm water in a watering can and pouring it over ourselves while standing in the tub.....we can also hit up a friend for showers when desperate.
We've been heating water on the stove and either sponge bathing or mixing up warm water in a watering can and pouring it over ourselves while standing in the tub.....we can also hit up a friend for showers when desperate.
I don't know how you're doing that. We lost power for two weeks with Sandy so showering was tough and I just about lost my mind by the end. A month seems like torture.
Is there a nine or ten week growth spurt? Is it to early for teething? Something is going on with mia. Her eating/sleeping patterns are all jacked up...super clingy. But no fever.
This is my baby today too! She's been fussy all day and is only content when on me. She has also only napped a couple hours since 6am, I'm really hoping she still sleeps tonight!
I love it... I used to always go to a party for it but not this year, I am still in pajama type clothing doing house work while listening to it. Oh and I am not drinking...
Re: The Randomest Thread
So DH's job/classes finally settled down and now he's back to the Mon-Fri 9-5 schedule. Before that he used to go to the gym every Tues & Thurs straight from work and get home at 8:15... Factor in shower time and he's not really available til 830. He also would go Sat 8a to noon. Plus, he's a jogger and usually goes for an hour run 4 days a week (then add stretch/shower time... So really like 1.5 hours.
He wants to go back to this exact routine. In his mind out lives and routine shouldn't change just because we have a baby... He also said that he'd be more than willing to take care of DS on other days do that I can get out of the house and be social etc...
I'm not in favor of this and it resulted in a huge argument. For one thing, I do all MOTN feeds. So, kinda sorta, I feel like a single mom from bedtime Monday night up until he gets home from the gym Tuesday night.... So nearly 24hrs. Same for Thurs. Plus factor in the Saturday time and the sporadic hour jogs.
He's seriously the most well rested and uninterrupted first time dad in the history of mankind.
I don't like the idea if trading off on free time. I'm trying to reduce the "single parent" time (Mon-Fri 9-5 makes sense... Beyond that makes less sense). I'm not dying to get out and be social... I'm just stressed at all the time I care for DS alone... And having time to leave him with DH does not solve the alone time problem.
He just keeps reiterating that just because we have a child doesn't mean our lifestyle has to change (i.e. He should be able to maintain his original gym routine).
I feel bad asking him to ease up on the gym...
Am I being unreasonable? I find myself talking in circles and not knowing if I'm just being a bitchy wife or not.... Ugh
ETA: the reason for the gym schedule is that he boxes... So it's specific training times w his coach that can't be changed.
The gym sessions need to be shortened. Period. Why does he get the mental break and not you? And the jogs need to be cut in half. Here's the thing - once you're out of the newborn/infant phase and your Lo STTN consistently and there a chance for BOTH of you to have some downtime, then the two of you can look to increase his time working out. But it is completely unreasonable of him to expect you to take all that additional time alone.
RIP Dr. Irving Fishman - 10/1/19-7/25/10 - thank you for holding on for me.
You made my wedding day complete.
It is ridiculous and selfish to think his life won't change after baby. H and I talked a lot about it before baby. He was afraid our active lives would be over. We finally came to the agreement that it wouldn't be over - just different. And that we should want it to be different. So now we trade our time for out personal stuff. And we trade out old personal stuff for together family time. It's kinda the whole point of transitioning from a couple to a family with children.
Emma Rose
Born 3.11.14
8lbs 14oz, 21.5 in
Thoughts?
This is a persistent fear of mine. I'm always double checking to make sure we have them!
Andplusalso hey everyone! It's been a bit overwhelming over here. Nothing too specific, just fussier than usual twins and a 3 year old getting used to new routines. So I've been a bit absent lately. Hoping things settle down and I can visit a bit more often!
Emma Rose
Born 3.11.14
8lbs 14oz, 21.5 in
I hope you make one! And then show us when your done!
@CruiseGirl28
I love all things nautical! More specifically anchors! I need to take pictures of the whole room. Its super cute
Engaged 12-12-10 Married 5-12-12 Baby Jaxon 3-23-14
Call Me Mrs.Foster Blog
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Yes! I said "but the baby is hungry"
It went way over his head because he said "well feed him and leave me alone" and even after I told him I was just being an ass he was like "so did you feed him?" I may need to get DH tested lol
Eta quote fail
But now H is up there draining the toilet to look around. Um, what do you think you're going to do? It's not like he's going to find something and fix it. This is going to be interesting. And hopefully not too expensive.
My confession: he wanted me to come look. I was napping in the couch with the baby. So I said no thanks, I'm good.
I'm not moving a sleeping baby (who normally refuses to sleep this long during the day) for something I can't possibly do anything about.
So 1.) No new water heater and
2.) Even after it's installed.....still there will be no hot water.
At least he gave MH the tips he needed to install it correctly and to code, and checked all the other work MH has done to make sure it was up to code (it is!) but.....did I mention we have no hot water? And haven't for going on a month?
FML.
I'm convinced every week is a growth spurt for Brooklyn.
Emma Rose
Born 3.11.14
8lbs 14oz, 21.5 in
I have no idea whats normal for an infant. Put in a call to the pedi to see how much tylenol i can give her..if any.