bj

[Deleted User] · May 2014

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Chicky0727 · May 2014

Awwww yeah!

Ok! So this story isn't about me, but my BFF.

She was giving her FI a BJ one night and I guess right when he was about to cum, he pulled out and intended to cum on her chest...well I guess his jizz shoots out and lands right in her eye!

Oh my gosh! The phone call I got from her the next day had me freaking rolling on the ground because I was laughing so hard!! I guess jizz hurts when you get it in your eye.

Hahahaha...good times.

andatcdc · May 2014

I'll start. I was in college and bad been dating a guy for awhile. He was sitting in a chair as I was kneeling in front of him doing my thing. All of a sudden he farts! I was so stunned and didn't want things to be awkward (or more awkward) I ignored it and finished! We never spoke of it after, but I'll never forget

Chicky0727 · May 2014

andatcdc said:

I'll start. I was in college and bad been dating a guy for awhile. He was sitting in a chair as I was kneeling in front of him doing my thing. All of a sudden he farts! I was so stunned and didn't want things to be awkward (or more awkward) I ignored it and finished! We never spoke of it after, but I'll never forget

Oh my gosh! Girl, how could you have finished!? I would've stopped... Lol. Too funny!

Nuclearcupcake · May 2014

I've given maybe 3 bjs this pregnancy. I feel bad but if I taste precum lately I gag. Poor hubs.

Nuclearcupcake · May 2014

OH I have a story. So my husband is enlisted and before he left for boot camp we had a huge kegger. I was pregnant and sober obviously. So, he gets up in front of all our friends and my siblings and makes a very drunk heart warming speech about me. He then raises his glass and yells AND SHE SWALLOWS!!!! Which was followed by a ton of drunken cheers. I just stared at him in horror and said "well obviously, not every time *pats baby bump*.

[Deleted User] · May 2014

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lookame3639 · May 2014

A blow job lead to this one in my tummy...

kbrezie · May 2014

WTF @scarfbandit‌ ...LOL you are a true friend. Like @cath5587‌ & @Nuclearcupcake‌ I haven't really been in the mood for bj since pregnancy, but DH has been like a teenage boy since my BFP. Anywho, out of pure laziness I gave him on the other day. I found sitting on the bed and him standing up worked perfectly...I didn't have BNS (broke neck syndrome) and he was very pleased...

Nuclearcupcake · May 2014

kbrezie said:
WTF @scarfbandit‌ ...LOL you are a true friend.

Like @cath5587‌ & @Nuclearcupcake‌ I haven't really been in the mood for bj since pregnancy, but DH has been like a teenage boy since my BFP. Anywho, out of pure laziness I gave him on the other day. I found sitting on the bed and him standing up worked perfectly...I didn't have BNS (broke neck syndrome) and he was very pleased...

The sex has been AWESOME though

[Deleted User] · May 2014

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[Deleted User] · May 2014

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andatcdc · May 2014

scarfbandit said:
My thoughts on punanny...
I'm not bisexual but I am a DABBLER!
1.There is a taste but it goes away quickly
2. It's super duper slippery and hard to get a hold of the clit and then keep ahold of it
3. Even though I'm a girl I don't know what the fuck Im doing.
4. I got a great reaction from "motorboating" the punanny and I did that for three reasons....
1. I'm a goofy mother fucker!
2. I was drunk
3. It was fucking slippery her clit kept popping out of my mouth and I didn't know what else to do.

Conclusion I could take or leave it... penis' are easier to deal with ...so give your man some credit cause that shit is hard ( for me anyway)

I second this but I will admit sometimes I just get a taste for it .. I want it .. I need it ... but it's been like 6 years since dabbling. DH said I could dabble if he could watch but that just seems like it would be awkward

Chicky0727 · May 2014

scarfbandit said:

Don't judge I have a freak streak !!

I was gonna say...you a supa freak girl! lol.

[Deleted User] · May 2014

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Chicky0727 · May 2014

Ok so I got another one...this time it's about me.

My H and I were experimenting a while back with cock rings and while things were getting pretty hot and heavy we didn't realize that in switching positions the ring had fallen off.

Well after we both finished he went to go take it off and was like, "um it's not on me anymore." And I'm like, "WTF you mean it's not on you!?"

So we both frantically start looking in the bed with coming to the conclusion that it was in ME!!!

So I get on my back and he sticks his fingers inside me and is looking for it and sure enough, it's in there. But he can't get it! Ugh...so I get up and go to the restroom and I try to get it out, but I can't. So we decide that I'll wait it out til morning to see if it comes out on it's own and thank the good Lord, because it did!

I would have been so embarrassed if I would have had to go to the ER for that!!! Lol. Guess that's what I get for laughing at my friend when she got jizz in her eye! Haha.

lookame3639 · May 2014

@Chicky0727‌ if you had to go to the er you could go on the show Sex sent me to the ER

chase16 · May 2014

I have a public place one I'll share. Last memorial day weekend FI and I went to Rocklahoma which is a 3 day long, multi concert/band event. The first night we were feeling frisky, but didn't have our tent set up (our drunk friends temporarily lost it) so we climbed in my back seat. There were lots of people all around, but we assumed since it was dark it was fine. The next night I happened to glance over at my car and realized that yup, you can see inside. Oh well.. As they say... WHOOOO! ROCKLAHOMA!

haliebabyx3 · May 2014

nobadwriting said:

Chicky0727 said:
Ok so I got another one...this time it's about me.

My H and I were experimenting a while back with cock rings and while things were getting pretty hot and heavy we didn't realize that in switching positions the ring had fallen off.
Well after we both finished he went to go take it off and was like, "um it's not on me anymore." And I'm like, "WTF you mean it's not on you!?"

So we both frantically start looking in the bed with coming to the conclusion that it was in ME!!!

So I get on my back and he sticks his fingers inside me and is looking for it and sure enough, it's in there. But he can't get it! Ugh...so I get up and go to the restroom and I try to get it out, but I can't. So we decide that I'll wait it out til morning to see if it comes out on it's own and thank the good Lord, because it did!

I would have been so embarrassed if I would have had to go to the ER for that!!! Lol. Guess that's what I get for laughing at my friend when she got jizz in her eye! Haha.
I had this happen with a condom. We were done but there was no condom on the penis anymore. After a frantic search through the sheets, we realized it was still in me. Yeah that was terrifying, but I had no trouble getting it out. It was with DH and I was also on birth control, but we had just started dating so it was pretty scary at the time.

I second the condom one. And more than once. The first time he was able to just feel around in there and pull it out. The second time i had to go sit on the toilet for a good 10 minutes and see if i could pee and it come out. I wasn't on bc then so we were using condoms.

Funny thing is.. we were at his parents house and not married yet. If anyone knows his parents they're super strict and I'm sure they were wondering what was taking me so long in the bathroom. They actually have walked in on us before. I'm sure they knew something was up but we tried to play it off.

eta: spelling

haliebabyx3 · May 2014

You guys are making me want sex, but I just took medicine for a nasty cold I have and it's gonna knock me out.

mislogis · May 2014

Considering I gagged brushing my teeth/tongue this morning, head isn't on the agenda.
However, I managed to land my dh when I was only 16. I was not into sex at that point with him so, oral it was. I lived in the country, no street lights, and road head was always a great way to end a date

I prefer sex. I only give head now when I'm drunk, lol poor dh.

andatcdc · May 2014

Again back in college days (I was a bit .. Read a lot .. Wild) I was home for the summer and staying at my parents. I had picked up a guy I had been messing with on and off. I drive a Lebaron convertible at the time. So we were driving around smoked some weed got horny. We both lived with parents so that wasn't an option. We drove to a park pulled in got in the back seat and started going at it. Not long after we hear a knock on the window. Yup Park police with a flashlight pointed at my hoo ha asking to see ID. The guy being so high asked if he could finish first. Cop didn't find humor in that. So butt naked I'm trying to find my ID. Long story short we were told to scram bit no ticket given! Whew that would have been hard to explain to the parents.... This was the second time being caught by cops ... oh the good ol days. Now I'm a married boring ol lady

I have lots of stories but don't want to monopolize the thread or look like a whore :-)

tamarar5 · May 2014

nobadwriting said:

Chicky0727 said:
Ok so I got another one...this time it's about me.

My H and I were experimenting a while back with cock rings and while things were getting pretty hot and heavy we didn't realize that in switching positions the ring had fallen off.
Well after we both finished he went to go take it off and was like, "um it's not on me anymore." And I'm like, "WTF you mean it's not on you!?"

So we both frantically start looking in the bed with coming to the conclusion that it was in ME!!!

So I get on my back and he sticks his fingers inside me and is looking for it and sure enough, it's in there. But he can't get it! Ugh...so I get up and go to the restroom and I try to get it out, but I can't. So we decide that I'll wait it out til morning to see if it comes out on it's own and thank the good Lord, because it did!

I would have been so embarrassed if I would have had to go to the ER for that!!! Lol. Guess that's what I get for laughing at my friend when she got jizz in her eye! Haha.
I had this happen with a condom. We were done but there was no condom on the penis anymore. After a frantic search through the sheets, we realized it was still in me. Yeah that was terrifying, but I had no trouble getting it out. It was with DH and I was also on birth control, but we had just started dating so it was pretty scary at the time.

This happened to DH and I. And we got KU! Neither one of us knows when it came off...

haliebabyx3 · May 2014

mislogis said:
Considering I gagged brushing my teeth/tongue this morning, head isn't on the agenda.
However, I managed to land my dh when I was only 16. I was not into sex at that point with him so, oral it was. I lived in the country, no street lights, and road head was always a great way to end a date

I prefer sex. I only give head now when I'm drunk, lol poor dh.

I can be the same way when it comes to head. Have been drinking. I sometimes will surprise him by randomly giving him some. Just have to make sure I don't gag myself. Seeing like you, my toothbrush will make me gag. Lol.

andatcdc · May 2014

I once had to stop having sex in college climb off my lofted bed to puke in the sink. So classy!

The night I met DH we were at a bar meeting with a mutal friend for drinks. I was already tipsy when H got to the bar. I immediately started flirting. Got more drunk. Followed him home after the bar. We ended up having sex, condom broke, I'm freaking out. Left at like 3am. Got a call the next day from him. .. Apparently I had his keys. He didn't have a spare set. Had to meet him after what we both thought would be a one night stand to five keys back. Then had to call and tell him I was going to the clinic for the morning after pill. I felt so bad I made him homemade mac n cheese. And the rest is history 3 years later.

Another time in college on Valentine's Day my guy took me out (same one who farted during head) we got back to my dorm room and started getting it on. I'm not the quietest person during sex but I was good friends with all the girls on my floor and didn't care. When I went to wall him out I had post it notes covering my door with quotes heard from that night.

andatcdc · May 2014

scarfbandit said:
I'm gonna have to organize my dick sucking escapades in my head before I get in to that topic!

So here's a different story

A good friend of mine has a foot fetish he cannot cum without some sort of foot play he also has a little man fetish but that's beside the point... one drunken night we(he mostly) decide hey wouldn't it be cool if we covered him oil and wrapped him in surran wrap (the industrial kind) from head to toe! Cutting holes for breathing and his cock and balls..... so he's on the bed and I'm sitting on a pillow on his surran wrapped legs lubing up my feet getting them ready to give him a foot job( because that's the kind of friend I am) so I'm squishing and rubbing and doing a pretty impressive move with my big toe and the next toe.....but then my legs get tired.... so we cut out one his hands so he can service himself and I move to the side and place my foot over his mouth...taking it on and off so he can breathe ....So now he's getting after it............Now remember I'm drunk and honestly this isn't my thing I'm just doing it for shits and giggles but I'm getting bored.... So I start singing.......SURRAN WRAP MAN ... SURRAN WRAP MAN... GOIN AS FAST AS HE CAN...CAUSE HES THE MAN!! (To the tune of spiderman spiderman...)
Yea so he came eventually and nothing exciting happened after I cut him loose but for years I sang that song around him he will always be my surran wrap man.

I also had a buddy who had a crazy foot fetish. He was my neighbor across the hall in my apartment building. He would come over after I got home from work just to smell my feet. I played along because it was so interesting to me! We never ever had sex but there was lots of hand jobs, foot jobs, and masterbation. Every single time it started with him rubbing my feet, then kissing them, sucking on them. He loved my feet in his face while being stroked or stroking himself. So odd to me but obviously I didn't mind bc this went on the entire time we lived by each other

[Deleted User] · May 2014

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tamarar5 · May 2014

I do this thing during bj, circling my tongue around him. Makes him crazy. $:\$ ">

I wasn't a swallower until I met DH. We dated for a few years and broke up, during when I met and dated another guy. Well, I had always enjoyed giving DH head while we were dating, so I didn't think anything of it until this guy came in my mouth.

You guys, it was the most rotten funk I've ever had in my mouth. I puked still trying to make it go down!

andatcdc · May 2014

TamaraR4 said:
I do this thing during bj, circling my tongue around him. Makes him crazy. $:\$ ">

I wasn't a swallower until I met DH. We dated for a few years and broke up, during when I met and dated another guy. Well, I had always enjoyed giving DH head while we were dating, so I didn't think anything of it until this guy came in my mouth.

You guys, it was the most rotten funk I've ever had in my mouth. I puked still trying to make it go down!

I feel your pain! I had that happen once and gagged, puked trying to swallow. Dude was like are you OK? He thought he was too big and that was what made me gag. Yeah sure dude let your head swell but you taste like shit!

[Deleted User] · May 2014

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andatcdc · May 2014

I love putting a vibrator under my chin as I suck. DH loves the extra sensation. I have tried to use the vibrator directly but it's too intense for him

andatcdc · May 2014

My proudest sexual moment is when I convinced a guy to let me put a strap on on and bend him over and give it to him! Good the power of that situation! Still makes me wet thinking about it. He actually enjoyed it and we switched rolls many times!

All the reminiscing has got me wanting to explode. But now I really want a girl!

[Deleted User] · May 2014

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HeatherHam10 · May 2014

N/a

TessTickle · May 2014

I've been out of work since February, and I meet DH on his work dates for car BEEJ's.

I have that "rhinitis of pregnancy" bullshit, so in the beginning I was hesitant out of fear of suffocating to death. Then I realized it actually HELPED clear my sinuses. Win-win!

I have the world's smallest mouth and DH has horsecock, so I look like I got lip injections / punched in the mouth afterwards - EVERY. TIME.

Prior to DH, I was with someone for 7 years. I've never admitted this, because I would feel so bad for him if people knew - but he was about 2-inches hard. It was awful. But I guess you look past certain things for love (and masturbate 80x a day). Anyway, I used to pretend I use a deep throat champion... and then I met DH.

Also, the load in the eye thing is terrible. This happened to me when I was, like, 17 (the shaaame). Black eye for a week.

TessTickle · May 2014

And @scarfbandit - you are not alone. I WANT to be a DABBLER, but I live in a small southern town. HOW DO I FIND???

[Deleted User] · May 2014

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[Deleted User] · May 2014

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Raclla · May 2014

I don't know why some women complain about giving head. It's no big deal to me. Swallowing isn't an issue either

I probably have prudes for friends I guess.

andplusalso, it usually ends up being more than just a bj and I enjoy the benefits. Win/win.

poofwok · May 2014

Going to think of a story to share, in the mean time, I'll just say that I LOVE this thread. Hot stuff.

chase16 · May 2014

1. @TessTickle, you're a champ. I slept with a guy ONCE that was um, not well endowed, and that was the last time. It wasn't only his teeny peeny tho, he was kinda a stage-5 clinger, said he loved me when we had only gone on like 3 dates.. yeah.. that didn't last.

2. I don't ever swallow anymore. I used to when I was younger, mostly because I didn't think I could say I didn't want to. I haven't swallowed in years, because I think it tastes nasty. I usually give BJs as a precursor to sex, not the main event. Although I have been known to give FI road head and then have sex when we get home

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