breast feeding vs. formula feeding

chrissykzd · May 2014

do you plan to breast feed, formula feed, or both?

AngelSong76 · May 2014

I would like to breastfeed, at least for the first six months if possible. But, if I can't make that happen for us, I'm not going to beat myself up over it the way I did last time. I was only able to breastfeed for 2 months with my son and I felt guilty about it every single day until he was six months. I won't be doing that this time. If it works out that we can, that's great. If it doesn't, I'm going to move on to formula and be happy that I'm feeding my baby.

Traci09 · May 2014

DS breastfed until 19 months, though he did get an occasional bottle of formula when my pump output at work couldn't keep up. Hoping to do the same with this one!

jlbaxter33 · May 2014

Hoping to breast feed, but if it doesn't work, I hope to not beat myself up and use formula.

chrissykzd · May 2014

mainly just wondering because my hubby & i have been arguing about this since the last time i was pregnant. he has it in his head that formula is just as good, if not better for baby than breast milk.

in the past, i've had issues with my milk supply & have had to supplement with formula. this is our first baby together (we've lost 2 previous pregnancies) and he is adamant that he doesn't want me to breast feed this baby because his ex wife didn't breast feed their kids but maybe twice each & his kids turned out fine. blah blah blah. it's really pissing me off. i told him i don't give a shit what his ex did, this is my baby & i want to breast feed if i can. anyone else have these kind of issues?

ETA: sorry for any confusion (pregnancy brain!)

chrissykzd · May 2014

thanks ladies, i feel the same way! i have no issues with formula feeding if i have to, but i really want to breastfeed as long as possible. i won't beat myself up over it this time either, i cried way too much with the last 3 when my milk supply couldn't keep up, but i'm over it now. i'm just not quite sure why exactly my hubby doesn't want me to & he won't talk to me about it, just says the baby will be bottle fed. it's just so damn frustrating!

pjswife · May 2014

My plan is to BF as long as I can, if I can, and to not beat myself up or compare to others of it isn't working out- I'll happily use formula if that seems like it'll save my sanity.

colliebabe · May 2014

I plan to BF again, but I am NOT looking forward to pumping at work again. It was the one thing I really hated about BFing. I'll try it again but won't beat myself up if I need to supplement with formula if I don't produce enough with the pump.

@chrissykzd Have you had a sit down talk with your husband about why BFing is important to you? I get that it's his child too, but if it's something that's important to you then you should have a say (not to mention it's your body.)

skidderdo · May 2014

I am still BFing our first child (almost 14 months old) so unless something catastrophic happens I plan to BF #2 as well. I work full time so I also dragged a pump around for the past year (don't miss that!) but we are now just BFing at night and MOTN

kayak11 · May 2014

I BF my son and it wasn't very easy. We did have to supplement with formula on occasion when he had some weight gain issues. I'm going to give it a try again with this LO though!

JunkieBrewster · May 2014

i had a disastrous failure BF'ing my son. I will probably use formula and pump.

There used to be all these studies about how much better BF was, but recent studies done on families who BF one child and not a sibling show no difference aside from asthma.

It indicates that since well educated, wealthier moms tend to BF, that it skewed the results causing BF's benefits to be overstated.

https://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2014/03/04/is-breast-feeding-really-better/?_php=true&_type=blogs&_r=0

skidderdo · May 2014

chrissykzd said:
mainly just wondering because my hubby & i have been arguing about this since the last time i was pregnant. he has it in his head that formula is just as good, if not better for baby than breast milk.

I had similar issues but with my in laws. Every time I saw them they would be like "the baby needs formula! your milk isn't enough!" so honestly I just kept BFing out if spite (not really, I would have anyway... but if my husband brought up his ex wife's BF habits I DEFINITELY would be BFing out of spite!) what a pickle!

RayRay007 · May 2014

Why is he so against bf'ing? Tell him it's free and convenient.

chrissykzd · May 2014

colliebabe said:
@chrissykzd Have you had a sit down talk with your husband about why BFing is important to you? I get that it's his child too, but if it's something that's important to you then you should have a say (not to mention it's your body.)

i've tried a few times with no luck. pretty much just us going back & forth with him saying formula & me saying breast or at least both. it's a good thing we still have a while before the baby gets here so we have plenty of time to talk about it some more. he doesn't like fighting with me, so when i put my foot down about certain issues i feel strongly about, like this, he'll probably just give in anyway! i've tried telling him to look on the bright side, he won't have to get up to feed the baby in the middle of the night if i'm breastfeeding.

goatlady12 · May 2014

I hope to BF for a year. I did have a nipple ring I took out years ago so I'm worried I'll only be able to nurse out of one side.

jlbaxter33 · May 2014

chrissykzd said:
thanks ladies, i feel the same way! i have no issues with formula feeding if i have to, but i really want to breastfeed as long as possible. i won't beat myself up over it this time either, i cried way too much with the last 3 when my milk supply couldn't keep up, but i'm over it now. i'm just not quite sure why exactly my hubby doesn't want me to & he won't talk to me about it, just says the baby will be bottle fed. it's just so damn frustrating!

Do you think it is actually a sexual thing? Like he's worried about the state of your tatas during and after nursing? Just what popped into my head...

chicorojo · May 2014

I will try to breastfeed, my milk never came in with my first, and I didn't even try with my second because of the struggle with my first. We think the lack of milk was caused by my retained placenta that caused me to hemmorhage and emergency surgery right after birth so hopefully that won't happen and I will have a better experience this time. But, if I switch to formula I won't beat myself up.

Edited because I can't spell good.

blessdtxas · May 2014

As a FTM, I would ideally like to BF. I don't know if it will work for my body/baby! Hoping it does!

chrissykzd · May 2014

kayhold said:
i had a disastrous failure BF'ing my son. I will probably use formula and pump.

There used to be all these studies about how much better BF was, but recent studies done on families who BF one child and not a sibling show no difference aside from asthma.
It indicates that since well educated, wealthier moms tend to BF, that it skewed the results causing BF's benefits to be overstated.
https://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2014/03/04/is-breast-feeding-really-better/?_php=true&_type=blogs&_r=0

that's part of why i want to breastfeed this baby as long as possible. with my oldest 2, i was a young teenage mom & didn't really try very hard to breastfeed. formula was just more convenient. i breastfed them some, but not like i did the youngest. they were mostly formula fed. with my youngest, i had to occasionally supplement , but fought harder to keep my milk supply up & he was mostly breastfed until he was 10 mons old. the older 2 have asthma & have gotten sick a lot more than my youngest.

ginger514 · May 2014

chrissykzd said:

in the past, i've had issues with my milk supply & have had to supplement with formula. this is our first baby together (we've lost 2 previous pregnancies) and he is adamant that he doesn't want me to breast feed this baby because his ex wife didn't breast feed their kids but maybe twice each & his kids turned out fine. blah blah blah. it's really pissing me off. i told him i don't give a shit what his ex did, this is my baby & i want to breast feed if i can. anyone else have these kind of issues?

Woah. I hope he is eventually able to separate your baby together from his past experiences. I think it's ultimately your decision, but his support, or lack of, will contribute to your success and overall happiness.

chrissykzd · May 2014

RayRay007 said:
Why is he so against bf'ing? Tell him it's free and convenient.

he's an ass that knows everything about everything...or thinks he does anyway!

chrissykzd · May 2014

jlbaxter33 said:

chrissykzd said:
thanks ladies, i feel the same way! i have no issues with formula feeding if i have to, but i really want to breastfeed as long as possible. i won't beat myself up over it this time either, i cried way too much with the last 3 when my milk supply couldn't keep up, but i'm over it now. i'm just not quite sure why exactly my hubby doesn't want me to & he won't talk to me about it, just says the baby will be bottle fed. it's just so damn frustrating!
Do you think it is actually a sexual thing? Like he's worried about the state of your tatas during and after nursing? Just what popped into my head...

never thought of that. very well could be something to do with that

BootsAndPants · May 2014

Planning to BF, but I had supply issues the first time that could never be overcome, so if I have to supplement I will. I worked through several lactation consultants and tried MANY different ways to increase supply to no avail and a lot of expense. It was extremely emotional and I think I will try some things early on to see if it makes a difference, but I will try to feel better about supplementing if I have to. I'm hoping that this time around it will work better!

MAMAxB · May 2014

BFed DD for 13 months and DS is still nursing at 28 months.

I'm no expert but I do have a little experience! For the FTMs (or STMs who didn't with previous children) I would be happy to help you in anyway I can if you'd like to try with your December babe!

I think the #1 thing a woman needs to be successful is A SUPPORT SYSTEM. Someone who can help her on the harder days, emotionally and physically. It's SO worth it

brittandjp · May 2014

I will definitely breastfeed.

With DD my plan was to bf for a year then wean. Everything was going well and to the point that we weren't ready to wean at a year. Then I got KU, which slowly but surely killed my supply. Then I miscarried, which still really hurts when I think about how it ended my bf journey with DD. We lasted about 13 months, but I wish we would have been able to continue. I luckily had a freezer full, so she drank bm for even longer.

I'm such a big advocate for breastfeeding and can't wait to begin my bf journey with this peanut.

mommatomonroe · May 2014

Hoping to tandem nurse! I've been breastfeeding my dd for 16 months & still going strong:)

RayRay007 · May 2014

chrissykzd said:

Why is he so against bf'ing? Tell him it's free and convenient.
he's an ass that knows everything about everything...or thinks he does anyway!

I would just leave it alone for now. And when the baby comes, just put him/her on the breast and don't ask his permission.

ZAP12 · May 2014

I put undecided. I plan to bf, but last time it didn't work out. I'll try again, but I won't let myself feel bad if it doesn't work again.

nolanova85 · May 2014

I would love to exclusively breast feed, but I'm not sure how that works with daycare? My LO will likely be in daycare starting at 6 or 8 weeks. If any STMs have any advice on that, I'd love to hear it.

That said, like others - I am not going to beat myself up if it does not work out. My concern is that DH really wants me to breast feed, and so I'm worried that if it's not working out he won't understand. Oh well. I don't need to be borrowing trouble before it's even an issue.

JunkieBrewster · May 2014

chrissykzd said:

i had a disastrous failure BF'ing my son. I will probably use formula and pump.

There used to be all these studies about how much better BF was, but recent studies done on families who BF one child and not a sibling show no difference aside from asthma.
It indicates that since well educated, wealthier moms tend to BF, that it skewed the results causing BF's benefits to be overstated.
https://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2014/03/04/is-breast-feeding-really-better/?_php=true&_type=blogs&_r=0
that's part of why i want to breastfeed this baby as long as possible. with my oldest 2, i was a young teenage mom & didn't really try very hard to breastfeed. formula was just more convenient. i breastfed them some, but not like i did the youngest. they were mostly formula fed. with my youngest, i had to occasionally supplement , but fought harder to keep my milk supply up & he was mostly breastfed until he was 10 mons old. the older 2 have asthma & have gotten sick a lot more than my youngest.

Oh, make no mistake. I tried. I was pumping every 2 hours. Using nipple shields, an SNS. I was taking reglan, then moved onto Domperidone. Fenrugreek - At one point, I was taking 20 pills a day.

When he was 8 weeks, the IBCLC I was seeing finally told me it wasn't happening. He was gaining 1/8 of an ounce after 30 minutes on the boob.

I comfort nursed until he was 8 months, and we used donor milk with the SNS. My donor has since stopped having babies (was 8 years ago)

abcmom12 · May 2014

hopefully I'll be able to breastfeed exclusivly unlike last time when my milk never came in no matter what I did, and we had to supplement from 2wks on. that and the price of formula is killer!

MaineMama · May 2014

Seipel12 said:

I hope to BF for a year. I did have a nipple ring I took out years ago so I'm worried I'll only be able to nurse out of one side.

My sister had double rings on both sides, no problems nursing FWIW.

MaineMama · May 2014

I nursed all of mine. I had the most problems with my youngest, he has a severe upper lip tie, and a tongue tie and NO doctors around us will clip them, grrrr. But we powered through it, I like free things waay too much to pay for food before I have to.

LaxMOM44 · May 2014

nolanova85 said:
I would love to exclusively breast feed, but I'm not sure how that works with daycare? My LO will likely be in daycare starting at 6 or 8 weeks. If any STMs have any advice on that, I'd love to hear it.

That said, like others - I am not going to beat myself up if it does not work out. My concern is that DH really wants me to breast feed, and so I'm worried that if it's not working out he won't understand. Oh well. I don't need to be borrowing trouble before it's even an issue.

So my h was insanely pro breast feeding. To the point where he didn't even want me to introduce a bottle. Well when he went to work I'd occasionally give her a bottle of BM just to make sure she could take a bottle.

Anyways fast forward to six months when I was exhausted and overwhelmed and crying because I hates breast feeding so much and our daughter hadn't gained any weight in two months. The doctor suggests supplementing with Formula and he couldn't argue with that. So we started giving her a bottle of formula first once a day and then twice and then one day my H says " I am so sorry I made you stick to BF'ing when you hated it so much, I can see how much happier you are now and how you actually enjoy our daughter and I'm sorry I was so stubborn".

Moral of the story, don't listen to husbands who read the books but don't have the slightest clue what it feels like. If you need to go to formula, so be it. Baby needs to be fed.

ColeyCannoli · May 2014

I'm going to do my best to breastfeed but I know once I go back to school I'll have to pump and it might mean formula for a while. I'm am attempting bf-only but since this is my first, I'm not going to make a grand "this is the ONLY way" statement in case it bites me in the ass.

drpayne · May 2014

chrissykzd said:

Why is he so against bf'ing? Tell him it's free and convenient.
he's an ass that knows everything about everything...or thinks he does anyway!

Sounds charming. And super-educated.

YellowTulips521 · May 2014

I plan to breastfeed again, at least for the first 6 months. I had to supplement with formula when she was 4 months because I wasn't pumping enough. I ended up stopping BF and switching to formula altogether when she was 8 months. Honestly, I enjoy BF when we are at home, but when we go out I get really stressed. Even with a nursing cover I wasn't comfortable doing it in public. I really admire moms who can and wish I was like that!

OP, I didn't read all the responses yet but if you really want to BF, do it. Is he planning on helping with MOTN feedings? If not, then he really has no say.

drpayne · May 2014

nolanova85 said:

I would love to exclusively breast feed, but I'm not sure how that works with daycare? My LO will likely be in daycare starting at 6 or 8 weeks. If any STMs have any advice on that, I'd love to hear it.

You'll need to pump and/or use a day care facility where it's convenient to stop by during the day. Pumping sucks, honestly but if you get a hands-free bra at least you can read or play on the google

Takeabreath · May 2014

I barely made it to six months with LO #1 with supplemation. I'd like to nurse #2 about the same time, but I will offer formula every so often just so it's not as big of a shock if my supply tanks.

jlbeanza · May 2014

I adored BFing and still miss it (my DD weaned at 15 months). I'm really looking forward to nursing this baby, but I do not miss pumping, so I'm not excited to do that again.

I'm happy to give advice as well, but I would never look down on someone who doesn't/can't breastfeed. I think successful BFing totally depends on the mother and the child, and you can't necessarily predict it. If I didn't love it and find it easy, I would have supplemented or FF, I just felt lucky I didn't have to.

ElizaRae92 · May 2014

I want to breast feed, but not exclusively nurse my child. If my hubby wants to feed baby, or my sister or someone, I plan to pump so they can bond with baby too. Also, if I don't want to wake up at 2 am to feed and my husband offers, that's another reason I want to pump.

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