TMI TUESDAY!

BMaidPlanner · April 2014

Let's have some fun!

Your choices (only pick one!):

Something TMI that has happened to you during this or a previous pregnancy
How and when you lost your virginity

BMaidPlanner · April 2014

I haven't told my friends about this, because the imagery still grosses me out, but lucky you guys!

One night I did not make it to the bathroom in time, and threw up all over myself, my bedroom floor, and somehow it got on the wall, blanket, and bedroom door. I couldn't even take steps to the bathroom because I was slipping and going to fall. I had to scream for my husband to come help me because he was in the other room. He was horrified, I would have been to, can only guess what it looked like. He can't unsee it and I can't unremember it...instead of birth amnesia can we get some morning sickness amnesia?

Ashes92813 · April 2014

I have a massive measuring cup to measure my urine every time I pee here... Well, sometimes I have to pee and poop at the same time. It involves a gentle balance of peeing exactly into the cup and not pooping into the cup...and we all know a gentle balance is not easy at 8 months pregnant. I may be a little backed up. I may be sitting on the toilet right now. How's that for TMI for ya?

lest12 · April 2014

TMI Tuesday - yay!

I lost my virginity when I was 18... after high school. I was dating a friend and we were both virgins and decided to go for it together. So romantic.

He was a total goofball. Neither of us knew what we were doing, I waited until I was on BCPs for a month and we used condoms because we were so scared. He made us listen to 311 (everyone's favorite back in 1999) and it was over as soon as it started!

I do look back on it fondly, though. It wasn't terrible, now I think it's kind of cute.

BMaidPlanner · April 2014

@krptcmschfmkr128 - LOL. Yea. It's like therapy being able to come out about it. :-O

Ashes92813 · April 2014

@BMaidPlanner‌, I'm so sorry! That sounds like a scene out of a movie. I'm glad you got it out though

steprozz · April 2014

@lest12‌ is 311 not supposed to still be my favorite? because it totally is!!!

I lost my virginity at 16 with my boyfriend at the time who I was madly in love with and for sure going to marry (HA!) we thought we were so grown up picking out the fancy Trojan condoms that had a twisty tip. we tried to be all cool about it when we were DTD but I couldn't stop giggling and he fumbled around trying to figure out his rhythm. and then it was over pretty much as soon as it started. it was sweet and hilarious and a great memory

Susanrush13 · April 2014

I'm feeling generous, gonna give y'all two.

1. pregnancy related - During this pregnancy, something about lying on my side puts pressure on all parts of my intestines or something. Anyway, I fart literally all night long in my sleep because of it. To the point where it'll wake me up or my bf up. He's woken me up to tell me that I farted and it scared the cat.

2. lost my virginity when I was 22 in a sorta threesome with my then roommate and his girlfriend (who a few months after this event turned into my boyfriend (what a mistake) and his ex girlfriend). Only it was so awkward, and is NOTHING like you see in the movies. She left crying once things got going with me and him and he used a bright yellow, glow in the dark condom that smelled like bananas. Really made holding on to that v-card for that long soooooooo worth it

lellymine · April 2014

I lost mine on my wedding night. I was so exhausted from the long day and overwhelmed with all the feelings of now being a wife, not being close to my parents anymore and since he wasn't a virgin I was scared I wouldn't measure up that when it came time I just started bawling. My poor DH was so confused but was a total sweetheart when I explained. So instead of having animal sex the minute we walked in the room he sat with me in my huge dress and held me while I cried for 20 minutes. Once I got all the tears out it was freaking awesome though!

ashanne88 · April 2014

I have started to fart every time I pee. Not just one or two little ones either, I'm talking about a stream of really loud airy ones that echo off the walls (especially at work). DH is not impressed.

JujuB22 · April 2014

I don't really have anything exciting for either category.

I scare myself awake when I fart in my sleep. I think that "pop" feeling is my water breaking.

Any time I think about sex my uterus gets hard. I think it's hilarious to tell my DH "you're making me hard". He doesn't think its funny. He is terrified of my ute contracting at all so when he's home everything on tv and conversations are pg.

tbmadeamistake · April 2014

I fart out loud now. I used to be a silent farter. These days not so much. Last night it was bad, but it was coming out in these little fits and spurts, rather than one big one. DH kept telling me it was OK to just let it go, I think he thought I was trying to hold it in. I explained and he looked a thoroughly crossed out...though that look may also have been because the smell finally got to him...rotten eggs, oh yum.

My virginity story is sad, shouldn't have happened but I was naive and out of it. Ah well!

Mztwilson · April 2014

I got a yeast infection during this pregnancy and my sister who's never had one asked how I knew it was a yeast infection. The only way I could think of to explain it was it's like your vagina is hawking loogies. I'll never live that one down!

kbellizio3 · April 2014

The snissing has been getting worse. And everytime I sneeze DH will ask me if I peed myself, and when I say no he'll say "oh darn it, that would be really really funny". Yea ok -_- And I've also farted more DTD than I have ever. Poor DH. He rolls with it though.

Taymiller · April 2014

I lost my virginity to a guy in my high school who I went to church camp with. One day in the summer we decided instead of going to our weekly youth group meeting that we should have sex. We weren't even dating but decided we probably should start dating after that, it latest a month. So it was really romantic haha, no not at all.

Susanrush13 · April 2014

Can I just say that I feel so close to y'all now that I know other pregnant women can't keep their farts in anymore? I get so embarrassed still but it helps to know somewhere, at the moment that it's making me blush, another fellow pregnant comrade is ripping one too.

jshrop · April 2014

OMG, I'm dying laughing! Thanks for picking up my spirits ladies!!! I wish I had an awesome funny story. Mine is mainly the farting thing. I was a silent farter when need be, now I'm belching and farting loudly... And yes, even when I'm walking to the bathroom a la @yellowbird219‌. Hubs is not impressed or entertained lol

erind228 · April 2014

I accidentally let one rip one day while I was lecturing to my students. It wasn't super loud, but it smelled pretty bad. I had to like walk away. All the while, I was hoping it didn't follow me. I don't know if any of them thought it was me. Luckily, I teach high school and the boys are pretty smelly so I'm hoping it got blamed on one of them.

I lost my virginity when I was 21 to the guy I had been dating since my senior year of high school. He went to a different school and was visiting me for the weekend. We did it on the floor of my bedroom in my sorority house. (The lofts were metal and were really squeaky.) I had a giant rug burn up my spine the day after. I now have a scar to always remember my first experience.

Unknown · April 2014

This content has been removed.

Ashes92813 · April 2014

@shiggybop‌, you are not alone. This happened to me at World Market, in the men's bathroom at 8 weeks pregnant. I ripped the toilet apart to fix it. There was some "fixing" as well. Lol and you know what, I still shopped afterwards

after much hand washing of course.

rastrau · April 2014

@susanrush13 - your point #1 made me LOL!

And like @lilygrace48, I used to be a silent farter. Not so much anymore. When I get up to walk it's like a little tugboat pushing me along, putt putt putt. We also just got a new leather sofa at home, which really amps up the volume. I can't help but laugh and be a little proud of that - DH just looks a little embarrassed for me.

But most embarrassing is a sharting incident. Happened once and I am vigilant against it happening again, though I'm sure I'm fighting a losing battle.

texasmama2014 · April 2014

When I need to poop I fart every step I take until I make it to the bathroom. Not quietly, or odorless.

Dharmatron · April 2014

I don't even try to hold in my farts anymore. I'm blasting out trumpet farts all night long. At least once a day, my husband says, "Did a goose just fly out of your butt?"

otter1103 · April 2014

Dharmatron said:
I don't even try to hold in my farts anymore. I'm blasting out trumpet farts all night long. At least once a day, my husband says, "Did a goose just fly out of your butt?"

Yes! This is our house. Hubs knows I'm usually utterly embarrassed by loud bodily functions but lately IDGAF and have been just letting them rip at home. Every now and then he says "nice one" or gives me a fist bump. We have turned into juvenile boys laughing about pregnant farts. Of course I can't laugh* too hard because I pee myself then

X_X
*typo

hjl050308 · April 2014

I can't believe I'm going to share this oh well....When I was pregnant with my first, I got a terrible stomach bug when I was in about my 9th month. When I ran in our bathroom, I projectile vomited all over the wall. What made matters worse was that the force of my puking caused me to have diaherra at the same time all over, mind you I was standing. When DH found me, I was standing in the tub, still clothed covered in everything and crying. DH cleaned the bathroom and helped me shower. Needless to say, I ended up in L&D that day for dehydration.

I lost my virginity at 17 to a 21 year old from my neighborhood that I had a crush on forever. It was at a keg party in a field while laying in the grass. He ignored me after and my BFF at the time ended up giving him a BJ 2 weeks after we had sex. Yeah not sweet and memorable.

FAWKES81 · April 2014

I almost chickened out posting this but then figured, "y'all don't know me" so here is my TMI. Waaaaay back in 1st tri when I was still interested in sex and could get into it I ripped a huge fart as I was having the big O. The position we were in DH said it blew his balls back. It ruined the moment for sure and I was so damn embarrassed I ugly cried for 30 minutes. DH couldn't figure out why I was so upset as I have farted in front of him many times before. I have no idea why it embarrassed me so bad - other than it totally ruining the "after-glow".

I think I have the sense of humor of a 9 year old because nothing makes me laugh harder than fart jokes/stories and people falling down (as long as they aren't seriously injured).

katekat8721 · April 2014

@FAWKES81

lol, you win!

https://img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20140123064028/cardfight/images/6/6f/Win_the_Internet.gif

efino87 · April 2014

My TMI happened last pregnancy. I had really bad morning sickness that wouldn't let up. We went to a Chili's to eat lunch one day and I started to feel sick. I just barely made it to the toilet but still managed to throw up on the seat and floor. The force of me up chucking caused me to simultaneously pee my pants and get a bloody nose. Needless to say, after I cleaned up my mess, we decided it was time to get the check.

This has sadly happened more than one, but this was the only time it happened in public.

SarahS11 · April 2014

My story comes from a few weekends ago... I was standing in my bathroom brushing my teeth. Felt some gas coming on so I pushed it out... Along with a loud fart, all of the sudden a warm trickle went down my leg. I stood there for a minute thinking "I don't think I even had to pee, Ohh shit, it has to be my water breaking" so I spit my toothpaste out, go to the toilet, and do the most logical thing... Smell my now wet underwear. However, I had a terrible cold and couldn't smell a thing, which in my eyes then DEFINITELY meant my water broke since I couldn't smell urine! I had been having BH contractions all day the day before so I was freaking out.

DH hears me in a panic and comes in the bathroom to me standing there naked from the waist down, still a bit of toothpaste on my chin, smelling my underwear in tears... I tell him what happens and he makes me hand over my wet underwear so he can smell them. He gives one sniff and says, "Nope, definitely pee." I'm not going to lie, I felt relieved that it was just pee, but mortified that my husband just smelled my recently pissed in underwear.

Susanrush13 · April 2014

@FAWKES81 I laughed so hard I snorted. Best story!

britleann26 · April 2014

@FAWKES81 You are not alone!! I did the same thing as you (not pregnant though) and violently shifted simultaneously between severe ugly cry to hysteric type laughing for a full 20 mins or so. I was SO embarrassed but thought it was funny at the same time. My DH just sat there not sure how to handle my wild emotions.

I feel your pain and I am sure your DH will not let you live it down as mine likes to bring it up every so often.

I don't really have a TMI. Just wanted to let you girls know I haven't laughed like I just did reading these in a while and I really needed it today

CrysW08 · April 2014

I am crying from laughing so hard at all your stories!

I don't have any bad bathroom stories but I'll share my virginity one..
I lost it at 19 to a guy I'd been dating for about a month, he was really hot so I let him put it in. The sex was pretty good & we broke up a month later. No regrets!

gmc222 · April 2014

@FAWKES81 - "DH said it blew his balls back"...I seriously cannot stop laughing!!!

I've been with DH for quite a while, but still cannot fart in front of him. Ironically he has NO problem letting them go. ALL. THE. TIME. Occasionally I will fart in my sleep and he always teases me about it!

jshrop · April 2014

@FAWKES81‌ I just peed myself a little. First time this whole pregnancy, so thanks for that. I'm pretty sure it was the mental image of "blew his balls back" that did it. I'm still hysterically laughing as I type this. You definitely win

FAWKES81 · April 2014

I wish I was a gif queen like some of you ladies. I'm very happy that my most embarrassing pregnancy moment has brought so much joy (and pee and tears) to you all.

If I was adept at gifs I'd post one of the blind melon bumblebee girl giving a bow or of Elvis at the end of a song/concert saying Thank you, thank you very much.

jclester614 · April 2014

gmc222 said:

@FAWKES81 - "DH said it blew his balls back"...I seriously cannot stop laughing!!!

^THIS.

I cried from laughing so hard, especially after all the other ridiculous farting descriptions (like @Lilygrace48). I don't think I have any special TMI stories, but I am grateful for the laughs!

I lost my virginity on my wedding night. I was 28. (I know, I know.) For me, waiting was completely worth it, and I can't imagine that kind of intimacy with anyone other than DH!

Alllllso, when I saw DH naked for the first time, I panicked at his size and thought to myself, "WHAT HAVE I DONE?!" (Fortunately it worked out just fine, haha.)

CJnKR2014 · April 2014

I'm dying over here!
But I've never farted this much before I got pregnant! Every night, I swear... one time I farted so loudly that DH got the hiccups. I could NOT stop laughing!!! He had the hiccups for a good 20 minutes. Plus I've ran DH out of the room a couple times.

I lost my virginity at 18, I was in the military and snuck off base to a hotel with a guy and a couple I knew. The couple went for a walk and bam I lost my v-card. Not very romantic lol

nicolemcm · April 2014

My v-card story is too boring. Sooo...I think the worst tmi for me was when I had the stomach bug a couple years back and I literally could not hold in the liquified poop on the way to the bathroom. So it was running down my leg. Thank God it was tile. My SO (at the time) slept through the whole thing and was shocked when I woke him up (after a lot of cleaning and a thorough shower) and told him I had it coming out of both ends for a good 6 hours.

Savvy122 · April 2014

My TMI happened when I was pregnant with DS. I was about two weeks away from my due date. I was showering before work and started feeling super nauseated. Jumped out of the shower, threw a towel around myself, and proceeded to puke my brains out (in the toilet, luckily). After I flushed and brushed my teeth, I went to lay down while H got his shower. Afterwards, he comes out and says to me, "I think your mucus plug is on the bathroom floor." I went in to look and sure enough, there it was. The force of puking (naked) pushed it right out.

puttyeast · April 2014

My silent but deadly farts have increased during pregnancy. One time DF and I were at a store looking at some baby clothes. I let one go, realized it was going to reek and walked to the other aisle. DF scrunched up his face and asked, "Did you just do that??" and I giggled and nodded. Then a baby started crying and DF said, "Look what you did sweetie. You just made a baby cry."

AandJ28 · April 2014

@FAWKES81‌ THANK YOU for sharing!! I'm in tears from laughing so hard!!

My TMI also has to do with farting. I never really did it in front of H (who always farts loudly). Well I just have no control now and every time one squeaks out, H will look at me and ask "what was that noise?" just to make me feel embarrassed.

However that is not the most embarrassing... Last week at work I had the worst gas and tried to quickly walk to the bathroom. Unfortunately, with every step I took, I tooted loudly. Of course, everyone was at their desks and I had to walk past about 15 people to get to the bathroom. There was nothing I could do so when I walked past my friend Diane, I just looked at her and said "fucking pregnancy." Some people around laughed which helped me to shrug it off but still...

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TMI TUESDAY!

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Married DH 7/30/11

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CHC arrived 6/2/14

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