Community› The Bump Month Clubs› December 2014 Moms
December 2014 Moms
New Discussion

Am I Nervous About My U/S Tomorrow? Well now I am. Gee thanks.

lhbird87lhbird87 member
in December 2014 Moms
So I learned a valuable lesson recently: You just might not know who you can trust with a secret until you foolishly tell them you're pregnant. As it turns out, there are a few people I thought I could trust who I obviously can't. Now I'm regretting not keeping this between me and My husband.
I certainly don't need any "told you so's" right now. I just need to vent. I thought I would love the extra support.

My mom blabbed to her best friend and my aunt after telling me she would tell no one. My MIL told my SIL who she should have know I wouldn't want to know yet, as well as her sister I don't even know and God knows who else.

Now I have a bunch of people who "want to know how it goes" and "if I'm nervous." I just want to turn off my phone tomorrow to make sure nobody calls.

So I get it now. Seems like you can't tell ANYONE until you're ready to tell EVERYONE. You never know who is going to go telling the world like it's their news. Does anyone have advice for getting over this as I'm really still pretty angry.
Report Reply to Post

Re: Am I Nervous About My U/S Tomorrow? Well now I am. Gee thanks.

  • haloformhaloform member
    I'm really sorry that your news was spread against your wishes.  I don't have any advice, unfortunately.
    Me: 34 - PCOS | DH: 30 - everything looks good!
    TTC #1 since 10/13
    March 2014 - 1st medicated cycle - 5mg Femara CD 3-7 = BFP! EDD 12/26/14

    image
    It's a boy!

    BabyFruit Ticker


    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • MommyKristin88MommyKristin88 member
    Unfortunately once people know it's hard to reign them in. I just stopped answering my phone when I didn't want to be bothered.

    Baby Birthday Ticker TickerLilypie First Birthday tickers

      BFP 3/29/2014 2u2 Let's do this!

     BabyFruit Ticker

    photo crunchy_zps41233998.gif

      

    Report Reply
  • Jessie333Jessie333 member
    Just take a deep breath. Can't do anything about it now. You just know who you can't tell next time.
    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers >Daisypath Anniversary tickers

     
    Report Reply
  • Camellia78Camellia78 member
    I think turning your phone off is a brilliant idea. That or just screening your calls vigilantly. I am sorry that your news spread beyond those you intended to tell. Good luck at your appointment!
    image
    Report Reply
  • rakle99rakle99 member
    I feel your pain. My family is the same way. It totally sucks. Sometimes the best thing to do is just ignore everyone and do what's best for you. Good luck tomorrow. Check in and let us know how it goes. 
    imageimageimage"Image">image
    Report Reply
  • RosieB0514RosieB0514 member
    I'm sorry that your news is out. First just try and relax for tomorrow and enjoy your first appointment. But I think you need to be honest with the both of them and tell them they broke your trust. Good luck tomorrow, keep us posted!
    Report Reply
  • lhbird87lhbird87 member
    RosieB0514 said:

    I'm sorry that your news is out. First just try and relax for tomorrow and enjoy your first appointment. But I think you need to be honest with the both of them and tell them they broke your trust. Good luck tomorrow, keep us posted!

    I really want to say something and confront them. My mom knows what she did was against my wishes, but my MIL seems to have no clue. She laughed about how she told my SIL which was pretty irritating in itself, as was my SIL's response. I won't go into it fully. Basically I got pg at a not-so-ideal time (though happily married and wanting kids someday). MIL taunts SIL that it could happen to her cause it happened to me.. "Oh that won't happen to ME" she says... Makes me think she feels I'm stupid or she thinks I got pg on purpose (no way).

    Anyway I just want to know should I confront the MIL? I don't know if I can be kind about it. I don't know if I can be poise when I see them all.
    Report Reply
  • nicoleiscutenicoleiscute member
    Same thing happened to me. Just take a deep breath and ignore the annoying ppl.
    Report Reply
  • Duckie419Duckie419 member
    I'm sorry you weren't able to spread your news on your own time. That's not fair to you. I don't think anybody will give you "I told you so's" because everybody wants to tell people outside of the DH/SO/FI/Etc. when it's best for them. The only advice I can offer is to talk to your mom and MIL and express your feelings of disdain that they took the liberty to spread your news themselves instead of waiting until you were more comfortable in your pregnancy. Getting to tell people is half the fun. Again, I'm so sorry it was taken out of your hands. That just really sucks.
    Keep us updated on the u/s tomorrow. GL! My thoughts are with you :)
    image
    May Siggy Challenge = Linda Belcher!! Hands down, my favorite TV mom!


    BabyFruit Ticker
    Report Reply
  • megthmegth member
    ChelseaMari said:
    I'm sorry you weren't able to spread your news on your own time. That's not fair to you. I don't think anybody will give you "I told you so's" because everybody wants to tell people outside of the DH/SO/FI/Etc. when it's best for them. The only advice I can offer is to talk to your mom and MIL and express your feelings of disdain that they took the liberty to spread your news themselves instead of waiting until you were more comfortable in your pregnancy. Getting to tell people is half the fun. Again, I'm so sorry it was taken out of your hands. That just really sucks. Keep us updated on the u/s tomorrow. GL! My thoughts are with you :)
    Agree 100%. It was your news to tell. They should not have taken that away from you. I don't know what it is about pregnancy news that makes some people go a little weird, but you are not alone in this kind of thing happening. You can absolutely take back control of this situation and I hope you can talk to everyone and set them straight. Good luck with everything, and definitely turn off your phone! 
    Baby#3!
    Pregnancy Ticker
    Report Reply
  • jayellekayjayellekay member
    I'm so sorry. :(  We haven't even told our parents yet this go-round, because when I got my BFP last May, we told immediately and asked them not to tell anyone. Sure enough, they told everyone, and then we had to "un-tell" everyone, and I kept getting all these e-mails and phone calls from well-meaning relatives. Not fun. So, no one but my online friends have known about my pregnancies since, including this one...
    Jimmie, mama to Zoey (March 2011)
    Losses 5/13, 8/13, and 3/14. 
    Expecting another GIRL! Carter Grace due on 12/25.

    image

    Report Reply
  • megthmegth member
    edited April 2014
    SamHurn said:
    I'm sorry that it sounds like everyone in your family sounds super excited and supportive. You had to have known on a deeper level that your family would become overly excited and unable to keep the good news in. My mom did the same thing, but instead of getting irritated I took it as a good sign that she is actually proud that I'm building my family. As for having to answer questions about/after unltrasound I've had a MC before, and let my ex handle the bad news. When I was ready then I had a HUGE group of supportive people to help me get through the bad days, so I was glad all those people knew. As for the annoying questions it's going to happen, and I doubt they are trying to be mean. Don't forget these are all the people that you are going to want to share 1zillion baby pictures with.....
    You're going to be one of those people who spills someone else pregnancy news one day and then says, "What? Why are you mad at me for that? I'm just excited, that's all!"

    One way your mom could show she's proud of you building your family is to tell you so, rather than spreading news that wasn't hers to spread. It's nice you can be so forgiving, but most people are hurt by that. 

    The people we tell should be respectful and wait until given the green light to spread the news, especially this early on in the pregnancy, which was what OP needed.
    Baby#3!
    Pregnancy Ticker
    Report Reply
  • CandaceC1020CandaceC1020 member
    This is exactly why we haven't told anyone yet.  The last thing that we need is a vicious game of telephone.  We are planning to tell our folks this weekend and I'm scared to do so.  We want them to know, but we don't want everyone else knowing anything just yet. 
    Married on October 20, 2012.  Began trying in January 2013.
    RE appointment & testing December 2013 - February 2014= Unexplained IF, possible endometriosis
    IUI#1- March 22 (100mg clomid, 75 mg of Bravelle, Ovidrel trigger) = BFP!!!


    Report Reply
  • megthmegth member
    @SamHurn I am really sorry for your mom's health scare and get where you're coming from. I just think boundaries and respect are essential to good relationships. You sound like you went into things knowing the outcome beforehand and had already accepted it. That's totally different. 

    Getting upset over your news being spread without your consent isn't freaking out. That's called a normal reaction when someone has betrayed your trust. You just have a wildly different perspective than most people in this situation, which is okay, but should be kept in mind.
    Baby#3!
    Pregnancy Ticker
    Report Reply
  • lhbird87lhbird87 member
    So update I'm 7w6d new dd dec 10th heard heartbeat
    Report Reply
  • mrsjg2013mrsjg2013 member
    Congrats on your heart beat :)  Pregnancy is such a blessing- you have every right to be hurt and express that to them, but don't let them steal your joy.  It's kind of like the saying that holding a grudge really only hurts the person who's holding it... "he who angers you conquers you" kind of a thing.  Express your feelings to them be it hurt, anger, frustration- then focus on the happiness of the new little life growing inside of you :)
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"