How involved will your H be?

cMichelle0423 · April 2014

So, the other day dh and I were randomly talking about labor and delivery. Since our first pregnancy he's always said that he just wants to be with me for support... Meaning he just wants to stand there and hold my hand and help me in any way he can as long as he doesn't see anything down there. Since he wasn't able to make it to the birth of our first DS, this will be his first experience with labor and delivery. Anyway, during our conversation he asked "What if I get brave and decide I want to help catch the baby or something?" I told him I didn't care and thought that'd actually be kinda cool...

Out of curiosity, how involved in your labor/delivery does your H or SO plan on being?

CJnKR2014 · April 2014

My DH is in the mentality of "I'll help keep you calm and relaxed, but be forewarned that I may pass out."

sjn00 · April 2014

I dont think my husband really knows what it intails to give birth lol. So he will probably just stand there in awe until I ask him to do things. Hes the kind that needs direction lol. So im not expecting too much from him.

ELC252011 · April 2014

My DH is will most likely just hold my hand and feed me ice chips. I don't think he will be brave and look. He is going to cut the umbilical cord, that's as brave as he is willing to get.

temursgirl · April 2014

I'm pretty sure DH will want to cut the umbilical chord, although we haven't discussed it yet. He likes to be involved in everything, it's just his personality. I can't imagine him passing out or anything.

laramt · April 2014

My DH will be all up in my business. That's just the way he is. Good thing I'm not shy. He is so intrigued by everything to do with the human body, especially the pregnant human body!

hjl050308 · April 2014

My husband was really into both of my previous deliveries so I imagine he'll do the same with this baby. With my first, he gave me a play by play of the csection and stood watching the whole time. With my second, which was an unexpected VBAC, he pushed my back up/forward while I was pushing and coached/counted.

curlylocks3 · April 2014

He won't be down between my legs if that's what you're asking...and there will be no assisting with catching. He'll cut the cord if they let him and then go with Mumble to get checked while I (hopefully) get a tiny breather when they are checking Hugsy's position. Barring any surprises we'll do the same thing for round 2.

kibean · April 2014

DH said he wants to cut the cord, but he is very much of the "doctor knows best" mindset and will probably not want to do anything that might get in the way. He is practicing hypnobabies stuff with me, though. So he will help me with cues and changing positions, keeping me calm and doing what I ask for him to do.

nicolemcm · April 2014

We've discussed this at length, and he will be there the entire time, but wants to stay firmly away from the 'business end'. He does want to cut the umbilical cord, so he will see a certain amount of the goo and such. I honestly think he'll change his stance on this, but it really doesn't matter since I know he won't leave my side, period.

ashquack · April 2014

My hubby says he is staying up top with me buttttt he has delivered babies before so I can see him changing his mind. I think it would be cool if he was involved in helping the dr's but it's totally up to him. I don't think he enjoyed his OB rotation lol

liberty95 · April 2014

With a c-section his role is a little more limited from the get go, but just like last time it will be his job to announce baby's sex and cut the cord. Prior to that he will be up by my head keeping me calm.

becomingmommyagain · April 2014

My dh would prefer being in the waiting room. He's a PhD and had performed micro brain surgery on mice, but he's terrified of seeing his son come into the world. We've agreed he'll stay in the room and have a chair by my head but he really didn't want to cut the cord or hold the baby before he's all cleaned up.

tbmadeamistake · April 2014

He was there for moral and physical support last time, but has zero desire to catch the baby or to cut the cord. That's fine with me, as long as he's there for me. He FETs squeamish around bodily functions of that sort so he stands at NY head and keeps me calm. Given that I have a history of anxiety, it's nice to have someone right there who my breathing tricks and can actually get me to use them!

Rosebud2587 · April 2014

Before DD was born DH was like 'I'll be there by your side to help you though your contractions, give you a hand to squeeze, etc, but I'm not looking at anything below the waist.' However during actual labor once the Dr, said she could see the head DH was all up in my business. Seeing the excitement in his eyes after that gave me the extra motivation to push harder.

If DH is here he'll probably do the same, but there's also a chance that he'll be gone for training when I go into labor.

BMaidPlanner · April 2014

Neither of us have any idea what this is going to be like, what I may need, etc. He's not the passing out type so I imagine he will want to be as helpful and or as present as possible.

flerlgirl · April 2014

I'm a RCS so DH will be holding my hand and ready to take pictures when they let us. Last time they had him sit on a stool next to me. The nurses kept coming up to him and asking him if he was okay - "Are you sure, Mr. Flerlgirl? You just look so pale." He finally had to explain that he was fine… he is always that pale. Lol, poor H. Can't tan to save his life.

babygabe614 · April 2014

kibean said:

DH said he wants to cut the cord, but he is very much of the "doctor knows best" mindset and will probably not want to do anything that might get in the way. He is practicing hypnobabies stuff with me, though. So he will help me with cues and changing positions, keeping me calm and doing what I ask for him to do.

This. My DH is very excited to be there and be helpful in whatever way is best for me, but doesn't want to get in the doctor's way. I am happy with that being his level of involvement, too, as neither of us really have any desire to do the doctor's job (i.e. catch the baby). He will cut the cord, though.

Savvy122 · April 2014

With DS, my H stayed up by my head and held my leg. He told me later that he was "way more involved than he expected to be." I guess he thought he'd be lounging and playing Candy Crush while I delivered our child? I ended up with a c-section and he delighted in giving me a play by play of what he saw happening around the edge of the curtain. At the end he leaned over, squeamishly, and said, "They just took something huge out of you and put it in a bowl."

This time around, I expect he'll once again do the leg holding thing. He's also made it very clear that he wants no part of seeing the baby come out (which is A-OK by me) or cutting the cord.

WoodsSeltzer09 · April 2014

With my DS we had an Emergancy C - my tough guy DH passed out. The goal for this delivery is to keep him from not passing out

Ashes92813 · April 2014

Guess we need to have this chat tonight! I do know that I want him there but not in my business at all.

SecondTimeinMSU · April 2014

Last time he was up at my side reassuring me and holding my right hand and leg but not actually watching the birth itself. I think he could deal with the blood since he does test blood for his job but I think he'd rather leave that part to the professionals and just help me out. They did show him my placenta which he said was fascinating, lol. I'd prefer not to watch myself either so I think we are on the same page and will be pretty similar this time around.

Kinipela7 · April 2014

He will be sitting by my head. He may or may not cut the cord - his choice and I don't care either way. As long as he is there holding my hand! He also has this nervous leg shaking thing he does when he is sitting down that he never notices he is doing and it drives me nuts. If he starts doing that, I might scream. He did this when I was getting all prepped for my D&C and it just made me even more nervous!

PinkKEL9 · April 2014

My DH wants to be very involved! In our birthing class, we watched live birth videos and he was fine with that. He says he wants to be able to see her come out and of course cut the cord. I'm fine with it if he is.

shellbell813 · April 2014

DH doesn't want to see anything or cut the cord. I think he will end up cutting the cord though. He's not a really squeamish guy and as soon as they ask him, he will probably end up saying yes.

Mztwilson · April 2014

I'm nervous this time around. Last time I got an epidural right away as I was being induced. So dh spent a lot of time sleeping because he worked nights and only had 2 hrs of sleep before my water broke. Now he works days and I'm planning a med free birth so this ought to be interesting

ElTrain5 · April 2014

I'm planning on trying for a water birth, and DH said he'd get in the tub with me. Which is awesome. I'm not sure if he's thought it all the way through in terms of what that might be like, but I'm thinking about getting a pool started for how many second pass after the birth that he jumps in the shower to scrub himself clean.

jc51206 · April 2014

Mine definitely will stay near my head like last time. He's there for support to get me through, then helps with baby's first bath, take pictures, etc., and showers us with love. He's not the type to watch, catch or cut the cord, and I'm ok with that.

lest12 · April 2014

I was really surprised when DH said he didn't want to cut the umbilical cord. I for sure thought he would want to do that. He doesn't have a weak stomach or anything, but says the idea of cutting 'skin' freaks him out.

He would, however, like to see everything, but I have a strong, firm "You stay near my head" rule.

Other than that, I do think he'll be as active as he can be with everything else. We had our childbirth classes this weekend and he is taking his role as my support system very seriously (adorable).

chloephoebecali · April 2014

He's already seen me poop with one of my other kiddos so I'm sure he will get that pleasure again. Nbd.

mschware · April 2014

This is our first so we both still don't know exactly what to expect, but we have talked about it and DH wants to be my side and motivate me and calm me down when I need him too. He's really good at that. He said he will cut the cord if he is able to, but as of right now he doesn't really want to watch him being born. I definitely think that will change though. DH is very ADD and likes to be involved in everything so I definitely think he will want to see. I'm fine with anything, as long as he's there

sarahlynnc317 · April 2014

DH doesn't want to be anywhere near that business. He will be up by my head. He is still debating on cutting the cord or not. My mom and sister will be there for support too and I'm sure either one of them will jump at the chance to cut it.

Rubyangel84 · April 2014

My husband is the kind of person that gets grossed out easily. So I was especially surprised during my last delivery when he was totally involved. He helped deliver our son and cut the umbilical cord and even watched the doctors stitch me. Afterwards he said that it didn't bother him because he was too excited in the moment. So I'm sure he'll pretty involved again this time.

kbellizio3 · April 2014

DH wants nothing to do with below the waist, which is fine with me. At first he didn't want to cut the cord, because he was convinced that it would hurt the baby, but once I explained how it works to him he seemed more open to the idea. DH is very good at staying calm in hectic situations, so I think that'll be really good for me who has a tendency to freak out, because he'll be very good at trying to calm me down. This is our first child though, so he might say he doesn't want to do all these things now but totally change his mind during the process.

ChristineBaker23 · April 2014

With our first my husband stood by my head and fed me ice chips and told me to wake up and keep pushing (I kept dozing because of the oxygen, and it was 3 am) while I was pushing. He peeked down but didn't give me any details per my request ( I have no desire to know what is going on down there). He also kept saying "she has hair!" Once she was out he went with the nurses and took pictures of her getting wiped down. He did make the mistake of seeing the delivery of the placenta and nearly hurled/passed out. He said it looked like "you had been hit by a car and all your intestines fell out." I imagine he will do about the same thing this time minus seeing the placenta again. Our only birth plan last time was no one but doctors and hubby in there and I didn't want any drugs. Pretty much winged it.

CrysW08 · April 2014

Mine plans to stay up at my head & offer emotional support. He's totally not interested in seeing the bloodbath between my legs and I'm totally fine with that!

rainbowdashh · April 2014

Last time around he sat with me and let me crush his hand, teared up as I got the epidural, and then got all up in my business as she was being born. I told him initially that I didn't want him to look, but he was so excited and when the time came I didn't care at all. He's very unemotional and he cried as soon as she was out so it was worth it to let him see me all inside out

I imagine it will be exactly the same this time.

MollySm · April 2014

H was very involved in most of Lucia's birth. He did sleep through half of the first night while contractions were happening at home (the doula at our birth class suggested letting them sleep, and my sister was there keeping me company). He woke at 3am when it was time to go to the hospital. At the hospital he was with me through all of the contractions and everything. At about 5pm that evening he did go with some of our friends out of the room to get some pizza, but I called him back about 10 min later and he rushed right back.

As far as the actual delivery, he held my leg and was super involved. He said beforehand he didn't want to see her come out, but I just asked him and he said he did see it all happen. He says it didn't look like me, so he doesn't associate it with my body

He had no interest in cutting the cord, so he didn't do that.

MrsCase1 · April 2014

My husband tries to act tough but totally isn't. They literally had to get him out of the room when they were working on my epidural and it wasn't going to plan.

I am having a c/s but he doesn't take any of the photos, peek over the curtain, etc. I had to tell him to go be with the baby after he was delivered, LOL!

Afterwards he is amazing though so I have no qualms about his squeamishness.

bumpuser9343355 · April 2014

He'll be staying away from "the business end" as he calls it. I think I scared him a little bit when I said that was the of the husband of a friend of mine, until the doctor started giving him instructions on holding the wife's leg (meaning he saw everything). When it comes down to it, I think he will just do whatever he is told since he has no idea what to expect (neither do I for that matter!).

MNOpea · April 2014

With my first he hung out with me during labor and then helped hold my leg during pushing. He watched the whole thing and cut the umbilical cord. I imagine this time will be similar

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How involved will your H be?

Re: How involved will your H be?

Married DH 7/30/11

CSC arrived 5/7/12

CHC arrived 6/2/14

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