Intro and need advice

DizzyMom1 · April 2014

Hi there, my name's Rae and I'm hopefully going to be a gestational carrier for my aunt. I started Lupron injections 3 days ago and they are much easier to take than I thought they would be! I am still nervous about the progesterone injections though

I was wondering if you guys could give me some advice about embryo transfer. They told my aunt they could transfer 1 or 2 of the embryo's and that was up to her, my aunt says the decision can be mine. I am afraid of having twins because I have bile reflux disease (which is like acid reflux disease only much harder to control and more painful during pregnancy). We can only do a transfer once or possibly twice due to scheduling. I am nervous about twins and a very painful pregnancy, but I am almost more nervous about this not working because I decided on only transferring one. I don't really know what to do. I think she wants to transfer both, but knowing about my condition and the possibility of twins she has left the choice up to me. Any advice? Are twins even common enough for me to be worrying this much about it?

Thanks for any advice!

2MamazInSeattle · April 2014

My advice is never to sign up for more babies than you want and/or are willing to carry. Period. My doctor says, essentially, if one will stick *usually* both will stick - she never allowed me to transfer 2 because our embryo quality was fine, and she felt that whether we did two now, or one at a time, we'd still end up with two kids (if we were going to end up with two kids). So, my two cents is that you are doing a beautiful thing for your aunt, and also to please take care of yourself. Also there are a lot more complications/risk factors with twin pregnancies besides your condition, so it's not a decision to take lightly.

You sound like you much prefer to transfer 1, and I think that you should listen to your heart!

DoublePortion · April 2014

I agree with 2Mamaz! I am currently PG with twins and while I'm excited about it and wouldn't change it for the world, there are definitely times I wish I'd only transferred one embryo. As for the progesterone injections, they're definitely not fun but they weren't as bad as I expected. The hardest part was that I had to give them to myself (DH is squeamish) and I'm not super flexible! lol

liz4paws · April 2014

I agree with the previous ladies comments. If you're worried about twins, I'd definitely choose a single embryo. And I applaud you for doing such a selfless thing to help your aunt build a family.

DizzyMom1 · April 2014

Thanks for all of the input. I am definitely considering just one embryo, I just hope it works!

Mama-Bear · April 2014

I carried my own twins so I knew what I was signing up for when I agreed to transfer 2 for my FIP's. While I knew the risks, I was relieved that only 1 stuck (it was their only shot so I was hoping to give them 2 kids but for myself I was relieved). Are the embryos frozen? If it's a fresh cycle, they wouldn't have the ER yet and you may not know the quality of the embies, they may all be beautiful or they may not be stellar, that'll help make the decision too. Definitely don't transfer more than you're willing to carry or your aunt is willing to parent. May I ask why she's only able to do 1 or 2 cycles?

The PIO isn't bad at all IMO. The needle is scary but it really didn't hurt much (and I'm a big wuss). I leaned over the sofa to take all weight off of 1 side and had DH stick that side. Stick the PIO vial in your bra for 10-15 minutes to warm the oil, it'll go in easier if it's warmer.

GL to you and her.

LittleLady77 · April 2014

Twin pregnancies are HARD even without per existing issues. What you are doing for your aunt is amazing and if you are only comfortable transferring 1 embryo then you should feel good about your decision.

brooklynesque · April 2014

What you are doing for your aunt is wonderful. It sounds like you have good reason to transfer just one.

sarahjeri · April 2014

You are an amazing person for being willing to carry for your aunt!

The PIO for me sucked. Really. Bad. But I know plenty of people who didn't think it was a big deal. My advice is to ice the spot you'll be sticking for a minute before and rub it super hard for at least two minutes after. This is what helped me the most.

Our RE told us that if 1 sticks, both will stick. We decided twins freaked us out - parenting them and carrying them. The risk factors being pg with twins alone scared me. I also have a condition that could *possibly* be exasperated by being pg with twins so we decided to only transfer one. I'm really glad it is what we decided to do. Personally, I would think of your own health first, after all, if you aren't healthy, you won't be able to carry a pg.

DoulaRaVenMa · April 2014

Welcome to the group!!
I am 2x Surro & with everyone when they say don't put in more then you want to carry. Allot comes when you carry twins & not just health wise also taking care of your own family as well. With with what you have i can totally see why you want to avoid twins. Don't feel bad for only wanting to put in one at a time, I know lots of people who got PG off of a SET.
Wishing you & your aunt the Best of Luck!!!

DizzyMom1 · April 2014

Thanks for the great advice with the injections! I definitely feel more comfortable with them knowing there are things I can do to make them easier.

To answer some questions: 1) They are frozen embryo's that she adopted from a nice couple through an agency, every transfer they had took and they had three kids no problem. I think only transferring one each time. All that said I think they are healthy embryo's. 2) (this is a long one, lol) We can't do more than one or maybe two transfers because we are trying to get this done before I graduate college. She originally had to delay the whole process because she wanted to adopt embryo's from a friend and there were some legal problems with the paperwork that took months to sort out. She ended up giving up on trying to get embryo's from someone she knew and got some through this agency that still took 3 months to get all the paperwork done. Now I am one year away from graduating with my degree and I would like to be done with the surrogacy by the time I get out so I am not pregnant when trying to get my new job started. We are working around her schedule and my school schedule as I am ending this spring semester and going into a very full summer semester, after Summer I will not be able to try anymore. We both thought this process would go much faster (and thankfully now it is) so we didn't think it would cut this close to graduation for me.

After researching more and asking you ladies I am definitely going to ask for just 1 embryo at a time. I feel much more comfortable with that decision now and will talk to her at the appointment Wednesday, thanks!

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