s/o Bermuda shorts

ASmallWonder · April 2014

I'm under no illusion that they are flattering on me. Unfortunately, growing my two spawn left me with stretch marks down the entirety of my inner thighs - all the way to my knees! I also think I have fat inner knees and KNOW I have fat thighs. Long story short - is it visually more offensive to people to rock ill fitting Bermudas to spare them the jiggly stretch mark show or rock a shorter short where the benefit is a better fit but exposed jiggliness? (a word? I made it a word). This is brought to you by my need to buy some new summer clothes and not being sure what to do.

Helenahhandbasket · April 2014

I am not offended by anyone in any pair of shorts.

Try on a bunch of different brands-- some are cut fuller through the leg than others. Also look for some that have a bit of spandex in them (like 2%) as opposed to 100% cotton or some other fabric with no stretch.

ASmallWonder · April 2014

Oh those would be bad bad news lol I'm 4'11 with an ass and a gut. No siree, not good at all lol

ASmallWonder · April 2014

MrsButt said:

I'm no fan of Bermuda shorts. I'd just go with regular length shorts or if those really make you uncomfortable, what about capris?

I do have some but then you get into a whole hemming situation, which is a pain in the ass. If I don't hem them, they're basically high waters #shortpeopleproblems

NeneCakies · April 2014

Ok, I have thin legs but not nice legs so the main reason I prefer Bermudas is to cover my awful blue spider veins. For me that's what I'm comfortable with but on occasion I will subject people to the glare of my white old lady legs. Whatever. No one is perfect and I say buy what fits. It's the too tight/ill fittingness that emphasizes problem areas that is "offensive" in a fashion sense. No matter the length, shorts should not cut into legs or ride up the crotch. Your body is not offensive! Get a mix of long and short styles and enjoy the summer.

NeneCakies · April 2014

Real life shorts...

I really like my friend's white shorts here.

ASmallWonder · April 2014

But wait - aren't those Bermuda shorts? I think Old Navy has fucked with me. I just looked on their site and the "Bermuda" shorts they're offering this year are significantly tighter than the ones I have from them from last year and the year prior. They're similar to that length but looser - more like the ones you've pictured.

NeneCakies · April 2014

elmoali said:
But wait - aren't those Bermuda shorts? I think Old Navy has fucked with me. I just looked on their site and the "Bermuda" shorts they're offering this year are significantly tighter than the ones I have from them from last year and the year prior. They're similar to that length but looser - more like the ones you've pictured.

Bermuda length is 7" and up but not necessarily tapered like the Old Navy ones.

NeneCakies · April 2014

I'm gonna poof my picture. I hope it helped.

SpaceGirlSpiff · April 2014

I don't care what other people wear -- Go on with your bad self and wear what makes you comfortable!

Me however, I don't wear any type of shorts. I despise my legs with the fiery passion of a trillion hells.

Smootchy · April 2014

Inkogneetoh said:

I'm anti-bermuda short.

But I wear these all summer so what do I know.

https://www.amazon.com/Stretch-Gaucho-Banded-Hot-Fash/dp/B0006MG2M2/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1398358278&sr=8-3&keywords=gaucho

Someone please tell me that Gaucho pants are back in style? PLEASE

Helenahhandbasket · April 2014

chapski said:

Inkogneetoh said:

I'm anti-bermuda short.

But I wear these all summer so what do I know.

https://www.amazon.com/Stretch-Gaucho-Banded-Hot-Fash/dp/B0006MG2M2/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1398358278&sr=8-3&keywords=gaucho

Someone please tell me that Gaucho pants are back in style? PLEASE

Sorry, they aren't but they are SO comfortable. I waer them around the house all the time.

Smootchy · April 2014

Helenahhandbasket said:

chapski said:

Inkogneetoh said:

I'm anti-bermuda short.

But I wear these all summer so what do I know.

https://www.amazon.com/Stretch-Gaucho-Banded-Hot-Fash/dp/B0006MG2M2/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1398358278&sr=8-3&keywords=gaucho

Someone please tell me that Gaucho pants are back in style? PLEASE

Sorry, they aren't but they are SO comfortable. I waer them around the house all the time.

DAMNIT. I argee, they are so comfy....

Smootchy · April 2014

I don't wear bermuda shorts at all. I either wear short slightly baggy shorts (if that makes sense) or capri's.

But those are super cute @unconnhuskie007!

ASmallWonder · April 2014

@pobrecita I'm going to be that chick that has some answer for every suggestion lol I don't spend much on my casual clothing (hence the Old Navy link) and Nordstrom is like a field trip for me to get to and that's just not usually in the cards. ON and Target for lyfe.

ASmallWonder · April 2014

flerlgirl · April 2014

I have not worn shorts since 1998 so I can't say definitively, but IMO screw other people and just wear what makes you the most comfortable/feel the best. I don't usually have an opinion on people who are wearing shorts unless I can also see their buttcheeks and/or vag in them.

ASmallWonder · April 2014

No worries, the vajay and cheeks stay most definitely hidden from all view.

Unknown · April 2014

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vandelay · April 2014

I rarely wear shorts because my no one wants to see the cellulite that covers my entire thigh. And I'm glad you mentioned fat inner knees -- I thought I was the only one who had those! When I do, I wear longer ones, but I'm under no delusion that they are flattering.

/not helpful

angelashly · April 2014

I am pale ad a ghost. I still wear shorts. I used to not wear them till i decided IDGAF. Wear what you feel comfortable in.

NotSharknado · April 2014

I like dressy Bermuda length shorts. I'm not even sorry.

NotSharknado · April 2014

I just did some summer shopping last night. VS has nice shorts that aren't too short.

NotSharknado · April 2014

I bought these from VS

NotSharknado · April 2014

I bought these from kohls in a few different colors

NotSharknado · April 2014

I also bought these in black/blue. Not super classy but I love them.

NotSharknado · April 2014

I still wear jean shorts too. I'm not ashamed.

NotSharknado · April 2014

justAphase said:

NotSharknado said:
I also bought these in black/blue. Not super classy but I love them.
Omg I want

Lots of colors! I think I'm gonna get red ones too. They're like $15 I think.

NotSharknado · April 2014

Gap had some sweet online deals last night. Not sure if it's still 40% off.

NotSharknado · April 2014

pobrecita said:

@notsharknado where are those capris from?

Kohls

NotSharknado · April 2014

MrsButt said:

WHERE ARE THOSE CAPRIS FROM? I need them in my lyfe.

Also, I love jorts. DD and I wear them alllll summer long.

Kohls. Jr. Section

NotSharknado · April 2014

uconnhuskie007 said:

NotSharknado said:

MrsButt said:

WHERE ARE THOSE CAPRIS FROM? I need them in my lyfe.

Also, I love jorts. DD and I wear them alllll summer long.

Kohls. Jr. Section

In that case they wouldn't fit my arm. Womp womp.

I'm no skinny Minnie, they're elastic and I get large. Jr section doesn't always mean small.

NotSharknado · April 2014

I shop Jr about 80% of the time. The women section in any store sucks balls. Not every woman wants to dress like they're in their 50s.

missyishere · April 2014

I bought some palazzo pants recently that changed my life.

NotSharknado · April 2014

I may have to aw the shoes I bought last night too......

ASmallWonder · April 2014

NotSharknado said:

I shop Jr about 80% of the time. The women section in any store sucks balls. Not every woman wants to dress like they're in their 50s.

The petite section is the WORST. Apparently designers don't think people become short until they're 80. Did they think all short people were normal height at some point? Not so much.

NeneCakies · April 2014

I was actually surprised it passed as a UO! Bermudas for lyfe!!

NotSharknado · April 2014

uconnhuskie007 said:

do etttt!!! @notsharknado

NotSharknado · April 2014

NotSharknado · April 2014

I can't find any silver flip flops.

DreadLoc · April 2014

if my shorts aren't bermuda then they just constantly ride up my inner thighs and i'm doing the awkward crotch pull all day. nothnx.

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