SAHM with a work from home husband in one house!

Re: SAHM with a work from home husband in one house!

• Andrewsgal member

  April 2014

  thedazie said:

  I would like to know I am not the only one out there with this problem! My husband has been working from home for a while now. But I just quit my part time job to be at home with our two year old full time. We are fighting so much more. He can hear everything from his office. I get comments about my day all day long from him... like oh is she beening anoying today?, or why are you being so mean to her?.... I feel like he is hovering over me casting judgement even if he doesn't mean too. He trys to help when she has her brake down moments but it just seems like he is mad that she is out of control and bothering him with the noise! If I take some time for myself and watch TV while she is napping I feel like he thinks I am being lazy. I now am starting to hate me life of making dinner and cleaning... which is all I seem to do.... clean after a toddler and a grown man. Please don't take me wrong, I love my husband and I love my daughter but I need to do something! I am always around my husband... but he doesn't listen to me, I tell his where i am going or what I plan to do and when I leave to go there he comes out of the office and ask me what I am doing or going...! I try to get his option on things I care about... from learning toys to clothes and he just gets anoyed and tells me He doesn't care! But a week later he is tell me he hate that, or that's too short, or that was useless. Drives me crazy! I need help! My husband understands I need some "me" time but when he gives it to me, I don't have anything planned and I have to go places by myself. Or I feel bad if I take too long because I know he will be mad. HELP!

  
  This is very very hard to read and understand, but I will try. First of all your husband sounds like a jerk. Second you need to get a life. There is no reason at all that your life only consists of cooking and cleaning. Get out. Go to the park or zoo, join a moms club. There is also no reason you can't find something to do by yourself, go out to dinner, a movie or a bookstore.

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• JeffandLeslie member

  April 2014

  amy052006 said:

  Yeah -- this has nothing to do with the fact your husband works from home.  Mine works from home -- my life is nothing life this.

  This exactly. Mine too.

  

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• rosesandpetals member

  April 2014

  When DH works from home, he just wants to be left alone. I don't jump on him every time he takes a break from work. Like really, he stops working to ask you why you're watching tv?
  

  

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• zbeesma86 member

  April 2014

  You need to sit down with your husband and talk- his comments need to stop. He needs to be supportive and not judgey towards you.
  
  Also being a SAHM doesn't mean all you do is cook and clean. Go outside and play! Go to the park, the zoo, the mall, the library. Sign up for story time, music class, tumbling, dance class, mommy and me.
  
  DH works out of the home, but when he gets home he is just as involved and hands on as me. He helps with DD and helps with the cooking and cleaning, when/if needed.
  
  Good luck- hope things get better.
  
  
  

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• stacymills99 member

  April 2014

  My DH works from home 4 days a week as well and we always have a better day if we get out and do something in the morning, like the gym.  It breaks our day up and gives him a bit of quiet.

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• dizzycooks member

  April 2014

  We go out for the morning when dh works from home, but he works in the kitchen so if it were a more regular thing he would need a separate space. He certainly isn't critiquing what I do. I'd have a conversation with him about what everyone needs to do each day. Good luck!

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• traceyboo37 member

  April 2014

  My husband works from home a couple of days per week and it's awesome all around. Everyone keeps their routines but he'll stop working to throw clothes in washer or dryer. He will take his lunch and wall our son to the park or do a store run for me. He is able to work even through the noise and prefers being close to us instead of commuting to the office. I'm thinking you should have a heart to heart with your husband. His working from home shouldn't be such a stressful situation. Do you have any routines set up?

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• nonoemily member

  April 2014

  Being a SAHM isn't a job. You don't punch in at 9, take lunch at noon and then call it a day at 5. If you don't take time out for yourself, no one is going to make that happen for you.
  
  I don't clean during nap time. I don't clean much at all, in fact. I keep the kitchen reasonable, keep the laundry picked up and moving, and I clean everything else on the weekend while DH plays with DS.
  
  I'm not a housekeeper and this isn't 1950. I'm staying home to raise our child, not keep my house spotless or take care of my husband.
  
  My DH doesn't agree with all my parenting choices and I don't agree with all of his. If something bugs me, we talk about it after DS is in bed, and it's a discussion. My DH can be very critical at times, and were really different, so our perspectives don't always line up. I don't need his approval for every single choice I make. We also agree to disagree sometimes, which is fine.
  
  Your post makes you sound like you are looking to him for approval, about your parenting, your purchases, how you spend your time. I really don't think that's going to work out for you in the long run. Like I said, being a SAHM isn't a job- and he's not the boss.
  
  Obviously you two heed to have a conversation about each other's roles and expectations, but you personally might benefit from building your self confidence as well.

  Elkanah Brave, born 02/06/2012 7:26am

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