Help! FTM, SINGLE PARENT, MILITARY

Babyboyer15 · April 2014

Hello ladies:) I really need all the advice I can get right now. I'm a first time mom due in mid Oct. My husband and I are both active duty but are separating in the next couple weeks. I'm stationed thousands of miles away from the nearest family member with no real support system (besides the Marines I work with which are mostly male and well yeah they don't count). I have zero experience with babies/kids so I have no idea what I need to buy besides the obvious bottles and diapers n things. My husband will have no place in the babies life so I will be doing everything myself. Is there a website you guys recommend that can walk me step by step in what to do to prepare, what to buy etc.

cMichelle0423 · April 2014

Honestly The Bump is a great place to go. You can try searching and looking at previous threads that others have posted with similar questions. I'd suggest going to your Birth Month group since all of those women will be around the same due date as you. I've found this place to be great for getting advice and support.

cMichelle0423 · April 2014

Also, if you look around on the website, there's a section somewhere that I'm pretty sure has some check lists for stuff like what you're looking for.

LyndseylovesHugh · April 2014

There is a military board here, you might get some more specific military help there. My H is Army and in the Army we have Family Readiness Groups, do the Marines have something similar? It's a group of mainly spouses who are there to help in situations like this. They would help bring you meals in the beginning, watch the baby while you shower/nap, pretty much just help in any way they can since many military members and their families are not near their traditional support system.

Also, this is a great site, when I was pregnant with my daughter I learned a lot about what to expect from reading posts here. If you haven't already I would join in on your birth month board so you can connect and learn from others due around the same time.

Eta: newborns really don't need much. They need some clothes, diapers, a safe place to sleep, food (breast milk or formula), a car seat and love.

Pinkrose1012 · April 2014

There is also a single parent board, the ladies on that board are very supportive and helpful. Now, what helped me prepare for when I was pregnant with my first was going to babies r us. They have a checklist of all the items you need/ want, I did not register for all the items that they recommended, but it did give me some insight on what I would need.

Everyusernameistaken · April 2014

Lucie's List (website) has some good recommendations for the "stuff" you may need, and I echo pp on checking out the Single Parents board. I also agree with @LyndseylovesHugh‌ that all a newborn REALLY needs is love, diapers, boob or bottle, car seat, and a place to sleep. Very best of luck!

bf43005 · April 2014

Pinkrose1012 said:

There is also a single parent board, the ladies on that board are very supportive and helpful. Now, what helped me prepare for when I was pregnant with my first was going to babies r us. They have a checklist of all the items you need/ want, I did not register for all the items that they recommended, but it did give me some insight on what I would need.

Same here, when I registered with Babies R Us they gave me a checklist (and they have an online one). Some of the stuff I don't feel is needed even if they say it is but they give you a great idea on how much clothes, how many diapers, how many bottles, etc. Good luck & thanks for your service

Babyboyer15 · April 2014

Thanks so much ladies! You're all really helpful. I was hesitant about the single parent board because most of those parents' children were already born by the time they separated from their partner. I'm super nervous having to jump right into this from day one as a single mom especially with my lack of knowledge and experience with babies.

MinnesotaMomma91 · April 2014

Babyboyer15 said:
Thanks so much ladies! You're all really helpful. I was hesitant about the single parent board because most of those parents' children were already born by the time they separated from their partner. I'm super nervous having to jump right into this from day one as a single mom especially with my lack of knowledge and experience with babies.

Dirty lurking from single parents.

Its actually split half and half, but most of us do have outside babies currentley. However. If you ever need advice or to vent or just looking for someone to commiserate about being single and pregnant with were always there to listen.

Fwiw i was single and pregnant, its rough and kinda sucks and its hard going through newborn bootcamp alone. But its totally worth it. I love having my little man all to myself because i get back in love all i put in. Pps have covered all the basics your newborn will need so i wont reiterate.

Everyusernameistaken · April 2014

Also the single best thing I did for myself before / after my son's birth was to connect with moms of babies the same age. Prenatal class, prenatal yoga, stroller fit, mom and me groups, it REALLY helped to have a support network of moms going through the same stuff!

Babyboyer15 · April 2014

Thank you so much ladies..it really helps to know you're not alone.

Linz-E · April 2014

I think Baby Bargains is a great central resource for the things you should save/spend/splurge on and what you really do/dont need. We're a Marine family and I would recommend you check out militaryonesource.com They have lots of resources available to you. We're I&I though so other than that I don't really know what the "big bases" have available. Maybe you'd like to look into a doula for birth if you're going to be alone. I'd also start researching child care. If you need anything else pm me

Baby 411 is also a great book, I appreciated it as a FTM.

almostmrsb2012 · April 2014

Thebump is a great place but so is the what to expect website. and the books are great too!

cluebee · May 2014

Go to marine and family services. They should have some preparing for baby classes, many of which offer some freebies and info on local resources…

punnybunny · May 2014

I'm also a military spouse (although DH is reserves), but I would also recommend militaryonesource and family readiness groups. Even if the family readiness group doesn't have anyone to "help" with what you need, they can usually point you in the right direction of finding the resource you're looking for.

Help! FTM, SINGLE PARENT, MILITARY

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