9-month-old nursing strike? Please help :(

RDK24 · April 2014

My 9-month-old DD has suddenly decided she hates nursing (or so it seems -- I'm taking this way too personally!) She's had a cold since Saturday and has been getting progressively more upset when I try to put saline drops in her nose and then help clear her out with the Nose Frida. She was hysterical about it today -- never seen her like that before.

Around 4:30, I tried nursing as usual and she latched on briefly but seemed upset, or maybe was having trouble breathing through her nose (hard to say) and pushed away from me screaming. I did the absolute WRONG thing and tried to force her to nurse and that made things 10x worse. So I gave her breastmilk with oatmeal and decided to take a break until her bedtime feed.

She was perfectly happy playing, taking a bath, usual nighttime routine, and then I get her into position to nurse and she almost went for the boob but then pulled away abruptly, as though she'd remembered that she's afraid of it now and the hysterics started again. I tried several times, but always the same result and she'd get SUPER upset, pulling away from me and basically losing her mind.

I gave her an oz in a bottle and she drank them just fine. My DH is giving her a bit more now and putting her down. I read on Kellymom that you shouldn't starve them into nursing and it's more important to feed the baby (and I agree!)

My best guess is that she's associated nursing with the nose drops/Nose Frida and doesn't want anything forced on her face? I can't imagine why else she's happy to drink breastmilk from a bottle but not nurse. She's breathing fine through her nose while drinking from the bottle.

I'm going out of town for the whole day tomorrow so I won't see her again until Wednesday morning. She'll be with the nanny tomorrow and it seems like she'll be fine to have bottles, so at least I know she'll eat.

I'm SO upset and scared that this is the end of nursing for us. Have I scared her into not breastfeeding? I tried the tips on Kellymom (skin to skin, coaxing not forcing, hanging out with her topless haha) but nothing worked.

Thanks for reading, sorry this is so long. Anyone have any advice? Similar experiences? I'm so afraid that I'll come home from my trip and she still won't want to nurse and act like I'm trying to kill her like she did today.

RDK24 · April 2014

casey78 said:
I'm sorry, mama. I think maybe she's been on a bit of a bump break, but I remember @citrusfamily mentioning that each of hers had a nursing strike about now. I'm paging her in the hopes that she'll catch this and share some encouragement.

Are you trying to lay flat for nursing? I wonder if congestion/ear pain make it worse than the bottle? No advice - just hoping you'll come home weds to a baby who is very haooy to see you.

Thanks so much. Sounds like this is not uncommon, which gives me hope! I just feel so rejected, which I know isn't helping anything.

Have tried offering side lying too but no dice. Maybe the day apart will be a good thing--give her a chance to forget about this little freak out.

musicalsilver · April 2014

I agree with trying various different nursing positions.

LO also seriously fights and screams bloody murder with saline drops/nose frida-ing, but the also gets really frustrated if he can't breathe through his nose and tries to breastfeed - so there's not a lot of winning going on in that situation. I think it's important to make sure they can breathe well before breastfeeding.

I've had luck getting LO to nurse in the bath/shower. If LO is still congested, maybe steam up the bathroom and hang out with LO in the bath (if your LO is into baths). Taking baths with LO very frequently leads to impromptu nursing sessions with us. The bath should be relaxing, and the boobs are available.

Hope things go well on Wednesday!

RDK24 · April 2014

musicalsilver said:
I agree with trying various different nursing positions.

LO also seriously fights and screams bloody murder with saline drops/nose frida-ing, but the also gets really frustrated if he can't breathe through his nose and tries to breastfeed - so there's not a lot of winning going on in that situation. I think it's important to make sure they can breathe well before breastfeeding.

I've had luck getting LO to nurse in the bath/shower. If LO is still congested, maybe steam up the bathroom and hang out with LO in the bath (if your LO is into baths). Taking baths with LO very frequently leads to impromptu nursing sessions with us. The bath should be relaxing, and the boobs are available.

Hope things go well on Wednesday!

Thanks a lot. Maybe I will try the bath. We've never done that before so I figured she wouldn't think to do it, but maybe mixing things up is what we need right now.

Really I just hope she isn't scarred by my forcing it/her being too congested to breathe. I don't want to create a bad association with nursing.

Xath · April 2014

DS1 did this. Turns out I was pregnant with DD and the milk flavor changed.

lilies&orchids · April 2014

I'm no expert, but I don't think you scarred LO - my 8.5 DS is doing the same thing out of nowhere! He nursed on Sunday morning and then again after church and then would not nurse again for the rest of the day. I didn't force it and he was fine eating his other foods but I knew he needed milk so I pumped when we got home and he took a bottle with no problem. (The little stinker!!) He nursed again Monday morning and then he had bottles while I was at work and did not want to nurse in the afternoon. Same thing again this morning, so we will see what happens after I pick him up today... I hope it's temporary.

marczewski · April 2014

I've been going through this on and off for the past 2 weeks withy 7.5 month old. When he won't latch and is pushing me away but I know he is hungry, I give him an ounce of expressed milk in a bottle in a nursing position. I then pull the bottle out and replace it with my boob. Sometimes it takes a few tries before he will latch on. It's super stressful! Sometimes he latches into my boob immediately and other times I have to bait and switch with a bottle. I feel like I have to always have a bottle on hand in case he is refusing to latch. For the most part this seems to be working. Sometimes he will do great for a few days and them other times I have to start him with a bottle frequently.

Keep up the hard work. Nursing strikes are absolutely terrible!

RDK24 · April 2014

Thanks for the advice and support. Things are slowly improving. If it helps anyone else, here's what we did:

First, I made a game of dropping the saline nose drops into her nostrils to help ease some of the stuffiness.

She wasn't happy getting into her normal nursing position on the hoppy, so I sat her on my lap facing me with nursing bra clipped down for easy access. We did "this little piggy" and she played with my necklace for a while and she cautiously tried to latch a couple times and then pulled off, like she was worried/upset.

I stuck it out and eventually she latched and stayed on … and then nursed for twice as long as usual! I'm pretty sure it was the congestion that was making her seem afraid to nurse and losing her mind when I forced the issue.

GL to those dealing w/similar strikes. It took more patience than I thought I had but I'm cautiously optimistic that we're now moving past it.

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9-month-old nursing strike? Please help :(

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